starless
by Asakami
Summary: "Summer's ending, and so is my dream." Lightning/Vanille. AU.
1. Encounter

_**Warning: Language, dark themes, and suggestive scenes. **_

* * *

__Chapter 1 - Encounter

"_Sergeant Farron! Hey, soldier!"_

_She stood her ground. Straightening her posture, she pointed her right arm forward, and then pulled it back towards her chest. "Sir, Lieutenant Amodar!"_

"_Relax," The taller man walked forward. "It's already past patrolling hours. There is no need for you to be so formal with me."_

_She almost choked when she swallowed. That really sounded kind of—_

"_So, why are you still here?" He started yet another casual conversation, which she very much despised._

"_I simply do not have the need to return home so early, sir," She half-lied, half-reported._

_The lieutenant laughed, his voice as loud as firecrackers. "Well, well, soldier, there is no reason for you to exhaust yourself even after your shift! You should go home and rest anyhow – like everybody else after work!"_

"…"

_His expression still bright and enthusiastic, the lieutenant went on, "If you're worried about your promotion, don't worry. Your file has already been sent to the higher-ups. Soldier, you'll get bumped up any day, now!" _

_The woman insisted. "No, sir, I do not have any desires in ranking up whatsoever—"_

"_Come on, Sergeant Farron!" He interrupted, "There's got to be something that you want."_

_She looked down at her feet._

"… _No?"_

_Trying to act as if she was thinking really hard, "I…" She clenched her fists. There was no need to think, really, because the one 'thing' she desired so desperately, the one 'thing' she needed so much… was something that left her. It was something unattainable._

"You there!" The soldier called as he ran after the thief, "Halt!"

Taking advantage of the lack of light, the criminal ignored the soldier's orders and continued to run.

"I said, halt!" He yelled louder.

Still refusing to obey, the thief kicked down a couple of garbage cans as he ran as an attempt to slow the soldier down behind him. Indeed, his actions blocked the narrow alleyway almost entirely, and he was slowly losing his tail. Proud, he took a turn for another path that led to the market, hoping that he could escape into the crowd and blend in with them. He increased his pace, but as he reached the end—

_Bang_

_Bang_

Two gunshots were heard, and he fell to the ground.

"… What the…?" Spasms of pain shot up his spine as he fell; the thief looked down – he was shot, on both feet.

"You really should have just listened," A casual, feminine voice reached his ears.

He winced and avoided crying out loud; the bullets buried in his feet were not exactly tolerating his posture. Looking up, all he could see was a silhouette of a womanly figure. She was holding some sort of weapon with one hand. A… rifle? "God damn it… what the hell…?" He cursed weakly.

The soldier chasing him from earlier finally made passed the garbage mess. He appeared at the end of the alley, looking all worn out and tired. Panting, he started, "I said halt—"

"It's been dealt with, soldier." The woman spoke.

He blinked and looked to the ground. The criminal's feet were shot; he was crippled and was unable to walk any longer, let alone escape. "Holy…" He breathed, "Uh, s-sorry for the trouble, Sergeant Farron, ma'am!"

"It wasn't troublesome," She responded coldly. "Next time, if you can't catch up to your target, you make it stop running."

Emphasis on the _it_. The rookie scratched the back of his head and chuckled nervously.

Though futile, the criminal was attempting to escape as the soldiers were distracted. He dragged himself up with his arms, slowly tried to crawl pass the woman—

But obviously, she could see. Sighing, she swung her gun in her hand. With style, it turned into a special-looking blade. "… And if your target continues to resist," She thrust the tip of her blade downwards, into the man's hand. Immediately, he let out a screeching cry as blood squirted out, "… You will have to prevent that from happening by getting rid of his other parts."

"Agh—! Fucking stop…!" The man below begged as his face twisted in pain, "I'll stop… I'll – god! I'm not going to run – just stop it!"

His cries echoed in the alley, but the woman refused to show mercy – rather, it seemed like the thief's voice wasn't reaching her ears. She continued to stare into the rookie's eyes. "Are we clear?"

The inexperienced soldier shook his head to bring himself back to his senses. He was actually too distracted by the criminal's terrible cries, so he couldn't really hear her. Regardless, he nodded his head with respect. "Y-yes, ma'am. I will try to follow your advice next time this happens—"

"No, no, soldier," She cut him off, "Don't _try_, I am instructing you to _do_ it." All of a sudden, she pulled her gunblade out of the man's hand. The residue of his red blood lingered at the tip. The woman swung it again, flicking the blood off and then putting the weapon back into the black case she carried behind her. "I'll leave the rest to you. He was yours to begin with."

He swallowed. "Understood, Sergeant Farron."

She turned away and exited the dark alley, into the marketplace where the everyday crowds were. With all the noise coming from everyone, it was no wonder that these people were unaware of the trouble that just happened. She sighed and walked into the crowd. Why was it that the people of the army have to deal with such trivial problems? She was fully capable of getting into _real_ fights, like, she could actually fight alongside the front lines. Everyone knew that she was far more experienced than many of her superior officers – like Lieutenant Amodar or Captain Rygdea to name a few – and that she was fully capable of fighting _in _the war.

Walking out of the market, she reached the most deserted place of the evening – the eastern beach of Bodhum. It was also her favourite place to go to during breaks because it was so quiet and empty. There was no need to listen to all the pointlessness coming from all those pointless, typical, unimportant people. Sometimes, coming here, it was even possible for her to lie down on the white sand, close her eyes… and imagine herself fighting on the plains of Pulse with those PSICOM soldiers… those despicable, PSICOM soldiers.

_She hated them. _

The deep purple sky above became infinitely darker as she looked forward, and when she turned around, the colour became yellow, then orange, and then red. She looked farther – "Ugh…" The setting sun on the west side blinded her eyes temporarily. It didn't make sense; why couldn't she just get over that annoying colour? It had been so long already… and yet…

She shook her head.

It was like the sun gods were telling her that she would never be able to adapt to it. it was like they were telling her that she would never be able to shine as brightly as they do; she would never be able to light up the entire world because she was merely…

She looked back to the east side of Bodhum, where the sky was much darker.

… All she was… was one of those tiny, twinkling stars in the far distance, and nothing more. She was only capable of shining in a small town like this; her radiance would never transcend to other important places.

"Oh, what the hell," Thinking about such dumb, absurd things just to entertain herself, just to make herself think that she was actually full of creativity and imagination, and was capable of making up meaningful analogies were some of her bad habits. She made her way down the steps, onto the beach. As always, there was literally no one but the usual people here. The usual old man and his usual old dog were exercising or whatever, the usual old couple was taking their walk along the shoreline, the usual boy and his usual dad were playing catch… then there was the usual pigtailed girl—

_Wait, what? Who the hell…?_

A girl… a new, unfamiliar girl was sitting near the shore, looking at the night sky. She was dressed in really, really, _really_ strange clothing – with beads and fur and everything.

_A foreigner?_

She shrugged her shoulders. How people looked or dressed really was none of her concern; she just wanted some peace and quiet before her break ended. She walked towards the ocean, right before the tide could touch the tip of her boots. The girl in strange clothing wasn't far away from her – she was on her left, a couple of metres away, which, perhaps, was the distance she preferred to be kept apart from other people.

Too bad she couldn't lie down today; there were a bit too many people around. As always, she looked up and tried to play _match the constellations_ with the countless stars. The woman once tried to match a picture of her weapon, though she didn't succeed because her eyes lost their way. Today, well, she wasn't particularly artistic, so she didn't know what to match. Looking at the twinkling lights was just about fun enough, though.

Bored, and figuring that it was about time for her break to end, she decided to go back to the outpost. The motionless girl beside her, however, caught her attention. She looked to the corner of her eyes, and found the strange girl… making some sort of unusual hand gesture. Her head was down, eyes were closed… and it looked as if she was praying or something.

_How odd. What kind of hand gesture is that?_

The girl suddenly relaxed. She clasped her hands together from her back, and then looked up at the sky.

Pigtails, random accessories with excessive bead-like decorations… a weird fur-sash, high heeled boots… nobody in this town could appear any stranger.

_Is it Halloween today?_

She turned her head a bit to the… _cosplayer_ to get a clearer view.

A strange aura filled the air; the girl could feel something… or someone eyeing her, observing her. Staying alert and motionless, she looked to the corner of her eyes, and caught a shadow of a tall figure not far from her, staring.

_She's done praying or whatever, why isn't she moving away? Why is she just… standing there? _The woman wondered. She was very much aware that all of this did not matter, but she was quite intrigued by the fact that she was being drawn to a person like this. This was probably the first time she had stared at someone for such a long time—

Unbearable… it was getting too weird. She could no longer stand it – the girl turned her head to look at the figure.

The soldier gasped and quickly looked down. _Holy shit, that was scary. _Like, she just suddenly… turned to look at her – no, she turned to _scare_ her! But she was still curious; the sergeant turned her head to look at the strange girl once more.

… She was still looking at her!

_Oh my god._ She looked down again. Well, wasn't this embarrassing? She was a freaking soldier, and she couldn't even bring herself to look into that suspicious girl's eyes?

The girl let out a sigh of relief. At least the figure wasn't some scary old man, and was, instead, a rather tall and beautiful young woman. Fascinated, she smiled at her; it was very rare to encounter such beauty – especially in such a deserted area, after all.

Thinking that it had been long enough, the woman looked back at the girl again. Only this time, she was frightened by the fact that she was smiling so… so _innocently_ at her. But strangely, she refused to turn away, and stared back.

Delighted, the girl nodded lightly and smiled brighter, hoping for a bigger reaction from the tall woman.

She didn't know why, it was all too confusing, but she started to blush, and she could feel her heart pounding against her chest. Perhaps it was because she wasn't used to this? The soldier looked away again.

The girl giggled. This was quite an entertaining scene. She started to close the distance between herself and the taller woman. "Hello!" She greeted cheerfully.

_Oh god, oh god… what the hell! _She crossed her arms nervously and turned her head toward the girl, waiting for her next move.

"Sorry for frightening you, but you kind of scared me, too! I thought you were an old pervert, trying to catch some eye-candy off of me!"

_Should she be offended? _The woman raised a bemused brow. She wasn't sure what she was going to say, but… now that they were this close, she caught the colour of the girl's gleaming eyes—

"You have really pretty eyes, onee-san,"

The comment was definitely not inappropriate, but it still sounded wrong coming from a stranger. _Hell, she was thinking about the girl's eyes, too._ She kept her straight face on.

"You don't talk much, do you?"

"…"

"Hmm…" With no response coming from the woman, she lost interest in the conversation. "Well, then… I'll just…"

"Do you belong here?"

She stopped. "… Eh?"

_Crap. That came out rude. _"Are you from this town?" She reworded.

"Oh…" The girl chuckled. "Are you wondering because of my clothes?"

The woman stayed still.

"Hm, everyone asks me that… maybe I should go buy a new set or something? Oh! I forgot – no, I'm not from this town. I came here for… um…" A finger under her chin, she tried to search for the word, "… you can say that I'm here for a vacation."

She eyed the girl from head to toe. Shrugging her shoulders, she continued to look at the stars. "If you're here for a vacation, why aren't you at the western beach where everyone is? Bodhum is only famous for its sunsets."

"Mmm…" The girl mumbled, her voice got lower, "I… don't really like sunsets…"

_Huh? Why the hell would you come to this boring-ass town, then? _The woman thought. She crossed her arms and turned around, preparing to head for the stairway that led to the market from earlier – it was about time she got back to her patrolling anyway. "You should go back to wherever you're staying. This place isn't exactly safe out at night, especially since you're…" She paused to look at the girl's weird outfit again, "… Er, especially since you're a girl, all alone."

"Onee-san, you're a girl, so you should head back too!"

_It's none of your business_. She thought and was prepared to say it out loud, but, "… I've got… things to do," was what came out.

"Oh, is that so?" The pigtailed girl sighed. "Well, thanks for the warning. I'll be going now, so, erm… see you later?" And she dashed to the staircase, her figure disappearing into the bright sunset's light. The soldier had to squint her eyes to look at the girl; she had to make sure that she wouldn't run off into any of those dangerous areas… _wait, what! _– She shook her head rapidly – _none of this matters!_ What the hell had gotten into her? She stomped angrily towards the same staircase, about to head to the section of the town where she was supposed to patrol.

* * *

"Sergeant Farron, ma'am!"

She nodded, not even bothering to answer because she was so damn tired. Out of respect, everyone at headquarters would greet her, no matter what the time was. Right now was no exception; the soldier was just passing by and saying goodbye… probably. The woman hoped that he wasn't going to start any stupid conversation with her.

"So, er… any replies yet? Y'know, about your promotion?"

_Ugh_. Why did everybody she _kind of_ knew have to start small talks with her? Didn't they understand that she wasn't interested in anything at all? Though she knew that the soldier had no intention of making fun of her, whenever people approached the topic of _promotion_, she could never help it but to be slightly irritated. She tried to reply as politely as possible. "No, not yet,"

"Oh," The soldier held onto the strap of his courier bag.

Sometimes she wondered to herself: if she hated those random people who try so hard to talk to her that much, why not just ignore them? Why the fake and polite act?

"I guess the war really takes away their time in dealing with these things, don't you think?" He continued, totally neglecting the irritated aura that surrounded his female superior. "Don't worry, I'm sure that once they see your file, they'll rank you up right away."

His enthusiasm was annoying her to bits; she was going to explode if he didn't shut up soon. So, she decided to conclude everything with one statement: "I have no intention of ranking up. Just getting out of this boring town is all that I want."

The soldier laughed. "Well, you'll get your chance for sure!" He turned for the door, "I'll see you in a bit, Sergeant Farron!"

The woman didn't even bother to nod this time – if she gave him any _kind_ reaction he might start talking again, holy crap. She simply watched as he left the lobby, and then stood up herself. Usually, she'd waste time in this outpost or would go to a bar after work, but she didn't feel like noisy places today. Looking at the time, she figured that it'd be best to head home and go to sleep early.

* * *

Her house wasn't far from the base, but she was practically trotting by now because she wanted to hurry home. The sky had turned dark, the stars now stretched across the arc of the sky, with Eden glowing beautifully alongside them. Just a few more blocks away, she—

"Oof!" Something popped out of the alley on her side and bumped into her. The force sent whatever it was onto the ground.

"Ow! Hey, watch it!" She yelped.

"S-sorry! I didn't mean to – I was just…! Oh! Onee-san!"

"Huh?" Regaining her balance, she looked down at the figure, who was none other than the cosplayer she encountered earlier on the beach. "You…?"

"Yeah! … Oh, uh, look, I'd love to stay and chat, b-but, I…"

"Stop stuttering," She reached a hand out, offering to help the girl up.

"Thanks," Taking the woman's hand, she got up easily. "I-I mean sorry, I need to, uh—"

"Hey, you! Come back!" A distant voice called demandingly.

"Oh no…" The girl spun around.

Two men – two very _large _men – popped out of the corner where the girl appeared from; they looked as if they ran a few kilometres, for they were out of breath and were sweating like they worked out for hours. "Thought you could get away from us, huh?" One of the men panted.

Shaking with anxiety, the redhead started to step back. She didn't want to see these men – she didn't want them to touch her… she had to run, she had to escape… _no more of this… _the girl knew very well that she would _die_ at this rate—

The soldier raised a palm and stopped the girl from moving towards her by placing it gently on her back. The contact made the girl spin around rather fearfully; it almost made the sergeant jump as well. She raised a brow at her huge reaction, and got an idea of what was going on. Eyeing the men casually, she got ready to ask them to leave the girl alone, but—

"Pft," One of them huffed, "If it isn't _Sergeant_ Farron?" He hummed sarcastically, putting an accent on the word _sergeant_. He was slowly regaining his breath. "What d'you have to say about it this time?"

Confused, the woman looked carefully at the two. Raggedy leather jackets, black t-shirts, ripped jeans… Oh, of course, they were the typical troublemakers in this peaceful, _boring_ town. It was impossible to recall the times she had taken care of them. From catching them steal, to harassing random people, to—

"Hey, just to make sure," The other man cut in to support his friend, "It's not against the law here to look for whores."

The soldier crossed her arms and looked down at the girl.

_Well, it's no wonder they'd take you as a…_

Shaking her head, she gave the girl a look of pity.

Seeing that, the redhead looked down to her feet with shame.

The woman shifted her attention back to the thugs. "This girl's not a whore," she started simply, "Get out of here."

"Come on, sergeant, you can't protect _everyone_,"

She twitched. Her fists clenched.

"She's just doing her job, ma'am, so leave her to us already," He walked forward and grabbed the girl by the arm. "We're going to treat her nicely, pay her the proper amount—"

"No…! I'm not…!" She squealed and tried hard to break free.

The soldier reached out to grab onto the man's wrist, stopping him from dragging the girl away. "I already said that she's not going to come with you,"

His brows furrowed, "What the hell—"

She tightened her grip; surely it was enough to stop his blood from circulating properly. Her short nails dug into the man's rough skin as well, "Now let go," Her eyes continued to stare casually – almost bored – into those of the man's, "Before I break your arm,"

"Ow! God – fuck! Let go!" He yanked his hand away from the woman, and throughout the process, the girl's arm was released as well, "You're fucking crazy, man! Shit!" Still in pain, he observed his reddened wrist and the half-moon scars from her nails.

"Now go whore around somewhere else." She said, yet again in a bored manner.

After seeing his friend going through so much in such a short time, "Yo, let's just go," The other man persisted, as he was scared that he may be next regardless of what he did.

"God damn it!" And the two turned back into the alley.

The woman could hear them cursing about her as their voices echoed around the walls.

The girl could hear it as well, and it made her feel ten times worse already. She prepared to give the soldier her gratitude to draw her attention away from those curses. "Onee-san," she called, immediately drawing those blue eyes back onto herself, "Sorry to have bothered you, and… well, thank you." She gave the woman a bow, and quickly stood up straight with her hands clasped behind her back.

Instead of replying, the woman gazed at the girl from head to toe. She looked like a mess – her clothes were ripped, probably because she was resisting from them, her knees and elbows were scraped – she just looked beat up. Not particularly concerned, the soldier decided to ask anyway, "You okay?"

And she felt _that _much happier once she heard the question. "Un!" The girl nodded and smiled gingerly. "Thanks again!" She attempted to walk pass the soldier, but her legs suddenly gave in, and she fell forward.

"Oh shit."

_That's got to hurt._

She bent down and helped the girl sit down on the cement. "You don't seem okay to me. You're bleeding so much, and you can't even walk."

"No, no… I can… just let me…" She forced herself to stand up, but ended up toppling over once again, this time falling into the soldier's arms.

"Don't even try anymore." She said, "It's best if we get you medical attention. I'll escort you to a hospital."

The girl snapped her head up, "Wha – going to the hospital for _this_! I… I don't think that's necessary…"

She blinked. "You're right, it isn't." Standing for a moment to think, the soldier tried to figure out what the best decision would be. They were a bit too far from the base, so it would be too troublesome to take her there… "What about your hotel or wherever you're staying?"

"Hehe… I… actually haven't found a place to stay yet…"

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, of course, I should have expected that." The woman was going to regret this, but, "Listen, my house isn't far away from here, so if you don't mind—"

"If _I _don't mind?" Her eyes widened, "Onee-san, do _you _mind?"

"Of course I do, but it won't take long," She replied. "I'll just find a hotel for you afterwards."

"But I don't think I should – whoa!"

She shook her head with impatience and wrapped one of the girl's arms across her shoulder, her own arm circled around her exposed waist at the same time. "Look, I would want to get this over with quickly, so just, please, keep quiet."

With that, the girl obeyed. For the rest of the way, she remained quiet, much to the relief of the soldier.

* * *

"Take a seat," She said as she guided her onto the white leather sofa.

The girl nodded her head, still trying to keep herself from making any noises.

"I'm going to get some bandages. Hold on,"

She nodded again, and watched the woman walk off somewhere. The stinging pain on her elbows and knees were shooting endless spasms all over her body, and it sure was hurting like hell. "Stop thinking about it!" She scolded herself. She decided to look around to draw her attention away from the pain.

_Hm, what a nice house!_

The girl thought. This must be the living room – on her right was a very, very large ceiling-to-floor window – actually, the entire wall was the glass window. Outside was the eastern beach; the endless sea was also visible, and so were the stars that she prayed to earlier. In front of her was a television mounted onto the wall above a shelf, where a few picture frames were resting on it as decoration. Her feet rubbed against the soft, furry, white carpet that covered the living room area; the comfortable feeling of it and the photo in the picture frame brought a smile to her face.

_Such a happy family…_

A dad, a mom, a girl who probably was the pink-haired soldier, and a younger girl who almost looked identical – must be her sister, the pigtailed girl thought to herself. Her eyes moved elsewhere; pretty hardwood floor that extended from the entrance of the flat to everywhere, white-coloured walls, white ceiling… this place was extraordinary neat. But at the same time, it was a bit plain and quiet… "Oh!"

Out of nowhere, the woman returned with a box of first-aid and a bottle of water in hand. "There's no need to be so stiff, just relax." The tone in her words suggested otherwise, making the redhead sit up even straighter than she did before. The soldier sighed, "I said relax," She took out a small cotton cloth and dabbed it into the bottle. "This may sting a bit," She pressed the damp cloth gently onto the girl's knee. The latter definitely twitched a little in pain, yet she managed to keep herself from wincing too loudly. The soldier paused and looked up at the girl, "Bear with it."

She intended to say _yes_, but instead, she accidentally let out a squeak, the action nearly giving herself a stroke due to embarrassment.

Shaking her head, the soldier continued to clean her wounds. At times, she had to scrub harder to get the dry blood off, but she tried her best to be as gentle as possible because she knew the girl was on the verge of crying.

Indeed, the redhead had her eyes shut tightly. She clenched onto the leather material of the sofa below, channelling the pain elsewhere so that she would not shed tears. But just for a bit, she wanted to see what this stranger was doing to her knees. It was true that she appeared to be extremely cold and scary, but seeing that girl in the picture, the girl was sure that she was harmless. Like, honestly speaking, what kind of person would offer to carry a random girl in strange clothing home, clean her wounds and wrap them up, and then offer to walk her back to wherever she came from? Unless, of course, that person was a pervert or some sort of—

_She opened her eyes just for a bit. Just a peek would be enough…_

—very, very, _very_ pretty… no, no, she was an incredibly gorgeous woman. Earlier, there wasn't enough light at the beach or on the street to see, but, _wow_… what nice hair! It was such a unique colour, and it totally did not match the woman's serious and distant personality.

_Well, because pink hair is usually associated with those who are compassionate, fluffy, cute, and…_

"Done." She stood up and then quickly sat back down beside the girl on the couch. "Elbows," Not giving her time to react, the woman grabbed her arm – roughly, but ironically, with care – and started tending to it as she did to her knees.

The girl continued to stare. Not at her bloody wound, but at the admirable soldier. She remembered that she mentioned before to the woman, that her eyes were _really pretty_, but once they were this close, the girl could see properly. So not only were her eyes deep, but the many flecks and shades of azure in her iris… the blazing colour… it was a colour that she admired, it was a colour of the clearest blue. Such rareness – it was… the colour of the sky. Heck, this woman's long and thick lashes helped define her eyes' depth even more.

She knew the girl was staring at her; she tried not to think about it, but the heavy tension…

Thanks to the lightning and her subtle movements, her eyes glittered in an unnatural way – almost like the stars that twinkle. Then there were her pale pink bangs, covering a little of her eyes that brought the mysteriousness to her beautiful and sharp face. Gosh, how could it be possible, how could it be _logical _that such a beautiful person would exist?

"… Is it really that fun to stare at me?" The soldier said without taking her eyes off the girl's wounds while she tended to them.

Her voice rang in the girl's ears; she was reminded that this woman had enough power and authority to drive two large men away without even moving a single step. She smiled, "Sorry," and looked at her elbow which the woman was treating, "I'm just wondering why those two men from before wouldn't just leave me alone…"

Which reminded her, "Right, your clothes are all ripped up because of them…" she looked at the girl. A strap of her pink tank top was broken, the cloth hung loosely over, almost – just almost – exposing her full breast if it wasn't because of the random accessories holding the cloth up. "Do you have a change of clothes?"

"…"

_Does it look like she does, you retard? _"Uh, sorry, I assume you dropped your stuff when you were running away from the two?"

"… Y-yeah…" The girl said, almost with guilt. "… I just… dropped my things out of fear, so I have nothing left with me…"

"Do you remember where you dropped them?"

"I was panicking, I-I don't know…"

_Oh, how typical. _Now she had to offer her a set of clothing, food, and, well, might as well offer her to stay for the night? _But damn it_, the woman hated company. She would much rather be alone, so that it could be quiet and all—

"Sorry to have troubled you, onee-san, I'll be leaving right after this…"

—but she didn't seem like the type to annoy the shit out of her. Like, sure, she was a _tiny _bit obnoxious on the beach, but at least she obeyed and didn't talk just as she was told on the way back. She sealed up the last of the bandage and then looked up.

"Thanks," Giving the woman a weak smile, the girl stood up slowly and carefully, knowing that she had yet to regain her strength.

"Is it alright for you to stand up?" She asked as she stood up with her, "I think you're a bit too weak to…"

"No, no, it's fine. See?"

She watched with concern as the girl took a step forward. She didn't know it, but her arms were opened, on standby to catch the redhead if her legs fail her or something. "You can walk… but at this pace, you'll never get back to your hotel – wait, you don't even have a place to stay, do you?"

"… No."

Her mind spoke aloud, "Okay, you know what? Just… stay here for the night." She realized what she just said and wished that she could turn back time. "I'll…" _damn it, _"take you to the… lost and found department or whatever tomorrow, so just…" She paused upon seeing the girl's shocked expression, "… I mean, that is, if you don't mind, and won't think that I'm some sort of pervert."

"Pervert?" The girl said, "Onee-san, you're the kindest person I've ever met in my life!"

She turned away. Nobody had ever praised her like that before. "Yeah… so, what do you want?"

"Yes, please! And thank you!"

The woman shrugged her shoulders. _Well, that wasn't that hard. _"I'll lead you to your room after I pack this stuff up."

Before she could crouch down to pick up her things, the girl reached out a hand and smiled, "Vanille."

"…?" Confused, the woman stopped her movements. _What? Vanilla? Does she want ice-cream or something?_

The redhead giggled, "My name," she grinned, "What's yours?"

"I don't think it's necessary." She replied coldly.

The younger girl frowned. "Oh, come on! I need to thank you properly, and at least let me know the name of my saviour?"

"…"

"Or… do you not mind me calling you _onee-san_?"

"Lightning." She mumbled.

"… Hm?"

"You asked for my name," she rolled her eyes, "Lightning."

"Oh," The girl knew that she wasn't in the position to question about others' weird names, so she decided to drop the subject. "Well, I think I'll just call you _onee-san_!"

The strawberry-blonde frowned. _What have I gotten myself into? _She asked herself as she shook her head at the girl.

* * *

_**The chapters are going to get longer than this, so if you can't stand it, you better stop reading! Plus, I update dreadfully slow, so those of you who do not have the patience, read on at your own risk! :D**_

_**Once again, to those who don't know, I played the Japanese version of FF13. Vanille is pronounced Vanilla, 'onee-san' means big sis… etc. etc. **_

_**Please review! :)**_


	2. Dream

Chapter 2 - Dream

Her mind continuously screamed at her as she went through the drawer for clothes.

Why was she doing this anyway? How stupid could she be? Why would she offer a complete stranger such kindness?

She closed the first drawer, moving onto the second one.

How stupid could she be, to offer the complete stranger clothes? Or, even more so, how stupid could she be, to let her freaking _stay_ for the god damn night!

"Great," Lightning mumbled sarcastically. Quite obviously, none of the clothes from her wardrobe would fit the girl; she was way too tiny compared to herself. The soldier closed the drawers and stood up straight, stretching her arms and legs for she had been crouching down for a while now. "Where else can I…?" She paused. Well, of course there was _elsewhere_ she could search, but she preferred not to.

Did she have a choice though? She couldn't just walk back to the girl and go, _"Hey, sorry, no clothes for you. Just wear your torn ones."_

Walking out, she entered the room directly beside her own. It was closer to the end of the hallway, and to her, it always seemed to emit this weird… feeling? No, perhaps _aura _would be the proper word. It was a room that she rarely entered – she didn't even come in here during cleaning days, because—

_Insecurity._

Yes. Coming in here gave her a sense of insecurity, every single time. She regretted it right now, however, for the room had gotten quite stuffy, which, in her opinion, was the most disgusting feeling in the world. Lightning grimaced at the dust-covered shelves and whatnot, and then proceeded to the closet. Before opening it, she took a deep breath, as she didn't want to breathe in any dust from the clothes, after all.

Jackets, sweaters… "Nah, too thick…" She said with dissatisfaction. The girl needed pyjamas for the night and then clothes in the morning so she could actually walk outside without looking extremely strange – "Ugh, what the hell." Again, the pink-haired soldier started to scold herself for being all to caring. She then randomly grabbed a milky-pink tank top and a pair of white gym shorts. She decided to worry about her outdoor-clothes the next day, since there really was no need to rush. With haste, she exited the room she despised, and headed for the bathroom, which was right across the hall, in front of her room.

As she approached it, the sound of running water became louder and louder; the redhead was already taking a shower. Lightning gave a quick knock.

"Yes?" Her soft voice blended in with the showers.

"I got your clothes,"

"Oh, please come in. I have the blinds shut, so—"

She entered before the girl could finish. "I don't think it matters anyway. We're both women." Lightning said blankly and stepped into the steamy room. She caught a quick glimpse of the girl's silhouette behind the white blinds. Not paying much attention to it, the soldier started, "I'll put your clothes here," walked towards the stool beside the sink and placed the said items onto it.

"Un! Thank you, onee-san,"

Lightning made her way towards the door. Before she exited completely, she looked one more time at the shadow behind the blinds. The droplets of the running waters from the shower bounced onto the curtains, making the fabric sway in a wavy motion. At the same time, the girl's figure looked as if it was following the movements, and the longer Lightning kept her eyes on it, the more she could see that wonderful frame— "Oh my god…" – the righteous, strict, cold, _proud _soldier finally noticed what she was doing for the past few seconds, and she could not believe that she actually did that. Closing the door quietly and swiftly, she could only pretend as if nothing had happened.

* * *

With the TV at its lowest volume, it wasn't even possible to hear the sound coming from it. Sometimes the woman wondered why she would even turn these things on; it wasn't like she really needed them. The TV, the lights here and there, the laptop, her phone… and even the refrigerator, because she rarely ate. Buying takeout or ordering food was far more convenient than cooking. Yet she did this, every single night, almost as if she was waiting… waiting for something to happen. She followed this routine for countless nights.

Such boredom always made her want to sleep. That was why she would rather be at work. It'd be much more productive than this…

A soft wound of a door closing could be heard from the hallway; Lightning figured that the girl was done with her shower. Though, she did not turn around to look – it was pointless and was a waste of strength. So she simply listened with her eyes closed.

Almost tipping her toes as she walked, Vanille walked down the narrow way, heading for the brightly lit room. "This is where the living room is… I guess…?" She whispered to herself. Indeed, she saw a TV on at the end of the room, yet the sound could barely be heard. She looked around for her host, and only found herself being an idiot for not realizing that she was sitting on the sofa in silence. Perhaps her hair colour was too pale to be noticed? "Err, onee-san…?"

Lightning almost didn't want to answer. "Don't tip your toes if you have so much trouble walking."

She gasped. _How did she even – _"Y-you can hear me! My footsteps!"

The woman had no intention of dragging on the conversation. "The sound of your right foot is heavier," Finally, she turned around. "I should check it again, you might have fractured a bone or something," the words came out unintentionally. It was almost as if her mind wanted to speak for her.

"No, no! It really doesn't hurt that much, you don't have to worry…" Vanille backed away, even though the soldier wasn't walking forward, "… besides, I've wasted enough of your bandages already. If you patch me up again—"

"You're right," Lightning cut in. _Yes, that's right._ "Suit yourself," _Why bother wasting military-grade bandages for a stranger anyway?_

The girl smiled awkwardly as an attempt to show her appreciation.

"…"

"…" Vanille looked around, searching for something to stare at so that she could avoid this strangeness in the air. She ran her fingers through her damp orange hair that was no longer tied up. They were full of volume and softness especially after blow-drying.

And the soldier was still staring at the TV, totally ignoring the presence of the girl behind her.

But she couldn't do it. She didn't like this one bit. She could not withstand this uncomfortable feeling – she was just not used to it. Vanille stepped up, almost leaping on one foot due to the pain, towards Lightning, and sat herself beside the soldier on the sofa. Gradually, the redhead turned inch by inch to glimpse at the admirable woman.

_Twinkle._

Each blink,

_Twinkle._

Every small, tiny motion that her azure eyes made,

_Twinkle._

Vanille felt like she was in some sort of…

"Like," Lightning reached for the remote beside her and shut the pointless noise off, "You're freaking me out." She turned to face the girl, with the intention of glaring, but seeing the stranger in that tank top got her… for some reason, all embarrassed. She quickly turned away, because if she stared any longer, she was going to get red.

The girl giggled. "Sorry," She apologized and stuck her tongue out, "Sometimes I freak myself out too."

"…" The strawberry-blonde crossed her arms.

"But… I was just thinking; I wish there is some way for me to pay you back for such a favour…"

"There is no need. You'll be leaving soon enough. This will only be for a bit." She really didn't mean it to be so rude and blunt, but she just could not bring herself to show kindness through words at all.

"A _bit_ is still something!" The girl talked back as predicted.

"As long as you stay quiet, it's fine for me," Again with the bluntness.

Yet the girl wasn't offended at all. "What if it's longer than a few days?"

The soldier almost – just almost – jumped back. "… Then…" She hesitated for a moment.

_I'll freaking kick you out of here!_

"… I'll have to start charging you for water, electricity, and food."

Vanille put a finger under her chin, "Hmm…" She thought out loud, "It's a good thing that those guys didn't try to go for my money."

Lightning narrowed her eyebrows. "Out of everything, you managed to keep the money?"

"Well, yes," The girl started to explain. "Actually I don't think they were after my stuff in the first place… why did I even drop them?"

_Obviously, they were after your body._

"But, anyway," She yawned softly, stretching her arms at the same time. "At least I'm still alive,"

Lightning rolled her eyes. Yes of course, those thugs weren't even after her life. "I'm going to lead you to your room for the night." She stood up and gestured at the girl to follow her.

"Oh, thank you so much!" Vanille followed her, "I was beginning to get tired…"

_You definitely don't sound tired. _

The soldier thought about letting the redhead sleep in that dusty room, but… that would be rude, wouldn't it? This girl was a guest, after all. The least she could do was show some respect and hospitality.

_Why do you care?_

Sighing, she led the girl to her own room. "This is the only place in the apartment with a bed," She lied as she pointed inside, urging her to walk faster. "I'd change the sheets, but I just cleaned recently, so I don't think it's necessary to do it again. So if you don't mind…"

Vanille shook her head and smiled. "Oh, I don't mind at all. Thanks again, by the way." She walked in and sat on the bed.

Lightning watched. Those clothes somehow fit her quite perfectly, now that she looked closely. The tank top gripped onto the curves of her waist, and then those short boxers defined her long, white legs—

She shook her head violently. What kind of disgusting thoughts was she…?

"Onee-san?"

"Uh—" Troubled, she backed away, accidentally closing the door behind her. "S-sorry," Her vision was getting hazy due to the nervousness, and she wasn't sure where she wanted to go, or even, _what _she should do. "I, uh…" The soldier quickly turned around and grabbed onto the doorknob, without looking back at her guest. "Tell me if you need anything, I'll be right outside."

"But, wait, where are you going to—"

_Slam_

"… sleep if this is the only room with a bed…?"

Just right outside, Lightning was clenching at her vest, angry, frustrated, and pissed off at herself for thinking of such absurdity. Seriously, what – _how _could she be thinking of those things? She shook her head again, faster, with more force this time. She couldn't believe she was checking out a stranger. Taking a deep breath, she whispered, "I wasn't…" Because her paranoia told her that it would be better to admit it out loud. Lightning made her way to the bathroom. Yes, a shower would do the trick; it would wash away all this… heat.

_Why does it matter though? You've slept with many people before._

The bathroom door barely closed, and Lightning was already stripping away her clothes. She nearly fell when she stepped into the slippery tub – the water had yet to dry from Vanille's shower. Regaining her balance without much difficulty, she turned the tab to the coldest. She clenched her teeth as the freezing water hit her head and ran down her slender body.

_Sleeping with that girl wouldn't make a difference._

Yes, that was true. It was just another way of wasting time – it wouldn't harm her. And who the hell would mind?

"But she's different…" She whispered. The colder water was burning into her skin by now, and she would get hypothermia at this rate if she stood here any longer. Her hand reached for the tab, ready to turn the water back to lukewarm, but it just remained resting there, her mind too busy, too caught up with something else. "… Tch, just because she isn't like those people…" She gripped onto the handle and finally turned it to the other side.

* * *

Vanille awoke to the same nightmare she had had for the past few months. It was always the same – the people, the place, the things, the… enemies – "Oh man…" She moaned and rubbed her eyes as she sat up. "Now how am I going to go back to sleep?" Once she woke from that nightmare, it was near impossible to return to slumber. She would always sit until the morning, and in the morning she would become so exhausted that she would not have the will to go anywhere for the day. Stretching her arms, she got off the bed. No point in just sitting around as usual, she thought; it was probably a good idea to find something productive to do. Vanille stood up, but soon realized that she really couldn't do anything productive for she was in somebody else's house. Doing anything productive here would only mean to be rude. But maybe it was alright to get a drink?

She nodded. It was decided. She would go get a drink, come back, and force herself to sleep.

"Alright," The girl stood up lazily, as she actually wanted to stay in the warm bed. Her hands tried their best to turn the doorknob as quietly as possible, and when she pulled the door open, she poked her head out first to look left and right, afraid that she might wake her host. With caution, she opened the door wider, and tiptoed out of the room. "Good…" She whispered, "Just don't start hurting again, foot..!" It wouldn't be pleasant if she yelped now, after all. The girl made her way down the hall, towards the living room which was connected to the kitchen. Finally, a familiar environment in the house was recognized; it was the same room where she was in before with the soldier, so that means the kitchen was – "Ah-ha!" She let out a whispery cheer as she spotted the bright digital clock lights from the microwave which read 3:09AM. Still tipping her toes, she made her way towards her destination—

"What are you doing?"

"Eek!" Vanille spun around, totally neglecting her pain in her foot. As she put pressure on it, the pain returned in large spasms, making her tumble onto the ground – with her bottom landing first. "Ow… ow…"

"_Whoops. Did I do that?" _That looked awfully painful. Lightning walked towards the redhead and knelt down, "Are you okay?" She helped her up and slowly moved her towards the couch.

"I'm so sorry," She apologized, "I didn't mean to startle you…"

"I think I startled _you_." The woman laid her down gently on the leather softness.

The girl could feel the warmth on her seat; she looked beside her and found a thin quilt. Lightning must be sleeping here, she thought. Vanille quickly looked back at the soldier to continue the subject, "Well," She faked a chuckle, "Kind of, b-but I was just… um…"

"Calm down, don't be so scared. I'm not going to kill you."

The difference in the soldier's tone encouraged her to speak freely. She brought enough will to look the woman in the eye. "Actually… I just wanted to get a drink. I woke up from a bad dream, so I…" She stopped herself. There was nothing else to inform – a drink was really all she watned. She waited for the soldier to say something, but as she was doing so, she unintentionally turned to the woman, and stared at her from head to toe. Lightning's sleeping attire was quite attractive too, Vanille decided. Her pink waves that usually rested on her shoulder were held up with a hair clip from the back, and her outfit was exactly the same as her own except both pieces of clothing were white in colour.

Lightning stood up. "You don't have to act like a thief if it's only a drink that you want," She walked around the couch and headed for the kitchen.

"I… well, I…" Vanille didn't know how to respond. "I didn't want to wake you… your ears are so incredible, I had to act like one, otherwise you'd wake up, and I'll trouble you…"

"It doesn't matter," She took a mug from the cupboard. "Is there anything you're allergic to?"

The girl blinked. "No, nothing in particular…" She was surprised that the woman even bothered to ask.

Lightning proceeded to open the fridge. She took out a carton of milk and poured a cupful into the pink mug.

"So… did I wake you?" The girl asked hesitantly.

"No," She popped the mug into the microwave, and set the timer to a minute. "I wasn't even sleeping."

Vanille blinked again. "Not even sleeping…? It's… it's three in the morning!"

The woman crossed her arms and leaned casually on the counter behind her as she waited for the timer to stop. "I don't sleep much. Besides," She looked down to her toes, "It's my day off tomorrow, I don't have to wake up early or anything."

"Day off?" The girl began, "And you're willing to waste your day by going to the lost and found department with me? Wouldn't you rather… like, go shopping or… find something interesting to do?" She wanted to tell the soldier to go hang out with her friends, or even boyfriend, but she didn't even know this woman, so she had to be careful with what she said.

Lightning smirked and shook her head. "Believe me, I lived in this town all my life. There are no more interesting things for me to do here." At that moment, the microwave's timer ended and a cute ring sounded. She took the warm mug out and headed towards her guest. Not even bothering to sit down, she handed it to her, "Here, drink. You should be able to sleep better after this,"

"Thank you so much," She smiled and took the pink cup, holding it tightly in her cold hands. "But… it's not going to work."

"What was that?"

Vanille jolted her head up, "Oh, n-no, it's nothing. Thanks again, you should probably go to bed soon!"

"You're sitting on it." She said it just before she realized how important it sounded.

"Oh – I'm so sorry, I—"

"No, no," Lightning shook her head and waved her hands. "Sorry, that came out rather rude… erm, I meant…" She stuttered as she tried to figure out the best way to put the words she wanted to say.

The girl finished the milk in the mug in a couple of big gulps and quickly stood up.

"… You're going to get a stomach ache if you drink so fast…"

"Now you can go to sleep!" Vanille exclaimed cheerfully.

Her bright smile then reminded her that it was now night time. How could she smile so brightly as if it were daytime? How could she even have the strength? Lightning watched as Vanille made her way towards the kitchen sink, and placed the mug in it. "Just leave it there, I'll wash it." She said. The girl didn't listen, however, as she proceeded to rinse and clean it.

"It's not a lot of work, so it doesn't matter."

Lightning could still hear that cheerfulness in her voice, and she couldn't help it but to loosen up. Funny how she wasn't getting annoyed with this, for if any of those lower-ranked soldiers from her squad show even a hint of disobedience, she would suspend them of their position, excuse them from the military, and send in a file of their personal information to the higher-ranks so that they would never have the chance of redeeming themselves, let alone promotion – The sergeant shook her head, hard. She was getting too caught up with work lately.

Finishing her work, the girl made her way back to the strawberry-blonde. "Thanks again, onee-san!" Her hands clasped behind her, the smile on her face widened into a grin, "Thanks for helping me,"

"I didn't help you," She replied coldly.

Vanille shook her head, and without letting the smile disappear, she answered, in a softened voice, "No, you did. You did, onee-san,"

The woman remained still, confused by her sudden seriousness.

"Well then," And her voice somehow easily returned to that cheery and annoying one once again, "I'll be trying to go back to sleep now!" She headed towards the hallway, back to the host's room. Holding onto the doorknob, she looked at Lightning one last time, "Goodnight, onee-san, thanks again!"

Hearing the clicking sound from the closed door, Lightning collapsed onto the sofa. She wasn't completely lying when she told the girl that she wasn't sleeping yet, but she was still quite tired after such a long and boring day. She turned over so her face was up; her eyes glued onto the dark ceiling above. When was the last time somebody thanked her for something with such a kind smile? How long had it been since she had served somebody beverage in this house? How long… how long had it been since another human being talked to her with genuine kindness?

She sighed.

"_Onee-chan, I'm.."_

_Lightning turned around, her back faced the younger girl. "Then go," She said with her teeth gritted, "And don't you dare come back."_

Truthfully, she regretted saying those words the moment they came out; she wanted to go back… just a few seconds back so that she could rewind and rephrase. If she could do that, then she probably wouldn't be so alone right now. She sighed again and closed her eyes.

* * *

The screeching sound from her own room woke her. With haste, the soldier jumped out of the sofa and ran swiftly across the hallway, bursting into the room. Still dark, she quickly reached for the switch beside the door and turned it on. She turned to her guest, who was sitting up and hugging her knees with her head buried in her arms. She looked almost like a curled ball, but then, Lightning noticed – the girl was shaking uncontrollably, which was frightening because it gave her the feeling that somebody had entered the house or something. She looked around before pacing herself to the girl and sitting at the side of the bed.

"Hey…" She called to her, "… Are you okay?" The soldier wasn't part of the negotiation team, nor was a professional at starting conversations – basically, she didn't have a talent for the tongue. Even so, she needed to try; something was terribly wrong. Lightning reached for the redhead's shoulder and rested her palm there; she could feel the layer of cold sweat on her skin.

"Don't touch me!" The girl barked uncharacteristically without lifting her head up.

Shocked, the woman pulled back immediately.

Her body was shaking more violently. "Get away…" She whispered.

Lightning had no idea what to do. But at least she knew that she couldn't just… actually _move away_ and leave this girl alone.

"Please… get away from me…" She hugged her knees closer.

Vanille had her teeth clenched as she said those words, Lightning could tell. What exactly was going on?

"Don't…"

Her voice was getting weaker. Lightning decided to try again – she _had _to try again. Resting her hand on the girl's shoulder once more, she hoped that her warm touch could somehow… just _somehow_ calm her down. Was this a bad dream? Was she sleepwalking? Was this some kind of psychiatric disorder? "Hey," The woman called out gently.

Slowly, Vanille lifted her head, enough so that Lightning could see the upper half of her face. "Don't…"

And the soldier soon realized that those eyes were completely different. They were very much unlike the ones she saw on the beach last night – or, rather, a few hours ago. They were the same emerald colour, but there was some sort of _thing_ inside that bothered her…

"Are you going to… me… as well?" The girl's voice shook with anxiety.

"What…?" Confused, Lightning waved her hand in front of Vanille's face. She showed no signs of response, and only sat there, staring fearfully into space. "Sleepwalking?" The soldier asked herself. She had never seen an actual sleepwalker before, so this was quite new to her. The least she knew was that it wasn't a good idea to wake sleepwalkers because it may affect their consciousness or whatever it was negatively.

When the younger girl blinked, streams of tears rolled down her cheeks. She was sobbing.

Lightning would much rather fight the entire Pulse Army right now. Like, she had never been in this kind of situation before. Cheering people was hard enough, but cheering a _sleepwalker_ up? The woman looked awkwardly around the room, improvising on what to do next. "Erm…" She thought and thought, hoping that some sort of brilliant idea would pop out of her mind. Maybe it would be better if she just left her alone? Lightning looked behind her at the opened door.

Right when she was going to move, her attention went back to Vanille as her sobs grew louder and louder, filling her ears.

The woman sighed and turned to look at the girl. She didn't realize it, but seeing her crying face, some sort of sadness filled her. It came from deep within her heart, and it rushed through her veins. The feeling shot to every part of her body, and it did not feel good. Vanille looked so much like a lost child – it was just too… _heartbreaking _to leave her alone like this. She relaxed and moved the hand that was resting on her shoulder up to pat the girl's head. "Don't cry," Was the best she could do.

"…"

She sighed again. "And you can be so damn happy when you're awake…" Lightning felt like she was talking to a wall, but it didn't matter; her mind constantly spoke to the walls in her apartment anyway. The sobbing sounds gradually died down, and Lightning could see the girl's eyes getting droopy again. With her hand still resting on her head, she could feel that the girl had stopped shaking. "Sleep," She said quietly, almost in a hypnotic voice. "Don't think about it anymore,"

_Whatever it was._

She watched as the girl's eyes closed. "That's it."

Going with gravity, the girl fell to her side, but Lightning and her quick reflexes caught her in time. Her breath uneven, Vanille's mouth began to move, "Give… back…" She moaned softly.

_Give back? Give back what? _

Lightning looked down at her, who was resting snugly in her chest. The sobs have stopped completely, but she was still shedding tears. Then, that sad feeling from before came back. It once again surged through her veins, flowed with her blood, and there was nothing the woman could do to stop it. "First, a nightmare, and now…" The tears in Vanille's eyes were getting absorbed by Lightning's tank top. She could feel it, it was getting uncomfortable, but it wasn't like she was going to complain about it. Carefully, she held the back of the girl's head with a hand and laid her down. Her body moved downwards with Vanille under her head finally touched the pillow. Releasing her gently, she decided that it was about time for her to leave, but the girl's tears haven't stopped. The woman knew that there was no merit to this, but her hand moved up naturally, and she wiped away the girl's tears with the back of her fingers. "Shh…" Lightning's mind was scolding her, telling her to leave before the redhead woke up or anything. The soldier's legs were already on standby-mode, ready to take off with her body turned towards the doorway. But still, her eyes were glued onto the girl.

Vanille's body shivered with her eyes still shut and tears still streaming.

Lightning's hand once again disobeyed her as it shifted its position from the girl's cheeks to her hand below. Unintentionally, she grasped onto it lightly, and the thought of letting go did not reach her senses. "You're having one hell of a dream," She whispered as her eyes followed each teardrop that streamed out of the corner of Vanille's closed lids.

* * *

The uncomfortable and sticky feeling from the afternoon heart got to Vanille. She finally forced her eyes to open and sat up. Her vision blurry, she rubbed her eyes roughly and yawned. Finally coming to her senses, she looked around the room and stood up. Vanille reached for the ceiling and then bent down to her toes. She reached for the ceiling again and let out one more big yawn before dropping her arms to the sides. She looked around the room for a clock, but her attention was taken away by the neatness of the room. It felt refreshing, for some reason, seeing the cabinets and drawers aligning together with symmetry, the walls being a pretty light beige colour, pretty hardwood floors, silky transparent white curtains… everything she saw in the room just somehow made her feel well and alive. Vanille walked towards the fabric and pulled them aside, revealing the bright blue sea and the sandy white eastern beach. Seeing the amount of people down there, the girl figured that it should be around noon time. After making the hostess' bed, she left the room to look for Lightning.

Something in her mind told her that the soldier was still sleeping. So, like last night, she opened the door as quietly as possible, and stepped out into the hallway likewise. The pain in her foot was hurting more and ever, so tiptoeing was kind of impossible. Whispering, "Like a ninja," She leapt down the hallway, thinking that she might see the woman sitting on the sofa like yesterday.

Instead, her gaze shifted to the humungous window which held the same view as the hostess' room because they both faced eastward. The living room had an even larger and better panoramic view around the beach, however. Vanille was about to walk over to the glass and look down at the people again, when she caught a certain strawberry-blonde lying peacefully asleep on the said sofa, breathing soundly.

"Hmm…?" Vanille smiled at the sight. She walked towards Lightning and crouched down beside her, their eye-level meeting. How extremely odd; such an angry and cold soldier could appear so vulnerable and… _cute _when asleep. Vanille realized that the woman was quite a heavy sleeper even though her ears were god-like and were so cautious all the time. "And you said that you don't sleep much…" She giggled. "Maybe I should go brush and wash up…" The pain in her foot shot up her spine once again before she could get up. She winced at the pain and then let out a loud squeak.

The unnatural sounds reached her ears, and Lightning shot her eyes open. She wasn't planning to move at first, but seeing Vanille right in front of her, she backed away in shock.

"S-sorry, onee-san!" She apologized whilst holding onto her ankle.

Her heart has yet to return to its normal pace, but the woman started, "Are you okay?" She crossed her legs and sat up properly.

"Yeah, I was just checking to see if you were asleep, but then, when I tried to get up, my food…"

"No, I mean like…" Lightning interrupted, "… Are you… okay?"

Vanille blinked cluelessly. "I… my foot is hurting like crazy, but other than that, I'm fine!"

Lightning narrowed her eyebrows and stared into her green eyes. That unnatural _thing _from last night that made her eyes look different was gone. Those eyes from the beach that were full of life were all that she could see right now. She let out a breath of relief. "Well," Seeing how the girl didn't remember a thing, she decided to drop the subject. Standing up, she walked around the girl, "Need help?" Reaching a hand out towards her like last night, she waited for Vanille to grab it.

"Thanks…" And like last night, she took her hand. "Guess this time I scared you," She laughed nervously as she got up.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah," Replying coldly, "You sure did."

_You sure do. You and your split personality._

"But… onee-san," The girl leapt towards the curtain-less window, and stared outside with amazement. "I love your apartment." Her eyes followed the children in cute bathing suits who were playing tag and were building sand castles. "I would die to live in a place like this…"

Before she knew it, Lightning had already walked up and was beside her. "It's not so pretty at night,"

"Hmm?" Vanille turned to her.

She wondered why she even said that, but she went on, "It gets deserted fast, since everyone migrates to the western side of the town late in the afternoon so that they can get a spot to watch Bodhum's famous sunset."

"… Do you not like it to have so little people on this side of the beach, onee-san?"

Without turning her head, Lightning's azure eyes shifted to look at Vanille.

She gave the woman a smile in response. "Well, there are still the pretty stars. Y'know, the ones from last night – I saw them too, right? I enjoyed looking at them, and I think it's nice to be able to have such a grand view of them every night."

"The stars are always the same. They never change." She said bluntly.

Vanille was slightly lost for words. She looked back down at the children and waited for something to come to mind. The sunlight that was reflecting on the ocean waves shone into the flat; the redhead could see at the corner of her eyes that the woman was shining. Those brilliant blue eyes almost appeared aqua – and they were twinkling with the sparkling blue waves. Then, it came to her. She turned to the woman once more, "Do you dislike stars?"

Lightning raised a brow. "What kind of question is that?"

"Just curious," She smiled.

Sighing, the woman shrugged her shoulders. "I don't like them," She replied.

"Oh…"

"… Nor do I dislike them."

Vanille chuckled.

"… What?" Lightning crossed her arms and looked angrily down at the shorter girl.

"N-nothing," She stopped, "Just that… onee-san, your character is full of surprises. It's like… you're the most unpredictable person in the world."

"You met me yesterday." The soldier stated, remind her of the fact that she did not know her well enough to say those words.

"Well, yeah," Vanille answered, "That's why I said it." She smiled as she leapt off, heading for the washroom. But before she got any further, she turned around again, "I said you're unpredictable because it'd be fun for me to discover more about you."

"… What?" Lightning shook the look of embarrassment off her face, "W-what are you… you know you're really freaking me out?" She declared.

The girl giggled and stuck out her tongue playfully. "I freak myself out a lot too!" She repeated the sentence from last night before leaping off towards the washroom again.

Hearing the door close, Lightning took a deep breath. Was she regretting the fact that she let this stranger into the house? Was she getting annoyed by that girl? Was all this foolishness getting to her? She liked to believe so, but strangely, none of this was bothering her. None, at all. Did she like it though? Perhaps a bit – just a tiny bit, though. Having another voice other than her own present in this apartment definitely felt… more pleasant. Still, she had to admit – Lightning combed through her hair messily with her fingers – she liked this Vanille _way _more than the sleepwalking one.

The woman headed back to the sofa and turned to look into the hallway. Thinking about the things that happened last night, she crossed her arms and spoke to the empty air, "You're a total different person when awake," She sat down, "Who's the unpredictable one, now?"

* * *

**_I'd kill me if I were a follower of this fic. Sorry for the ultra-delay in updating!_**

**_Anyway, thanks for all the reviews so far, I usually reply to them if I remember, but if I don't, it doesn't mean I hate you or anything, it just means that I'm too lazy :P. Keep them coming!_**


	3. Familiarity

Chapter 3 - Familiarity

"Sorry,"

"… Don't worry about it."

"But… if only I…"

Lightning stopped walking. She turned around to face the girl, who was trailing behind, "Look, you didn't know, and neither did I. So… let's just let it slide, okay?"

Vanille was still unconvinced. "Yeah, but still…" She looked behind her at the building. Apparently, the lost-and-found department closes at three in the afternoon.

She's blaming herself for spending so much time deciding on what to wear. In the end, Lightning picked a pink thick-strap tank top for her. Sadly, her size was too loose for the girl, so she had to run into the other room again, and get a smaller grey tank top for her to wear underneath that loose pink one. To complete the set, Vanille chose to wear a pair of black short-shorts, along with borrowing a pair of sandy-brown flip-flops – just to match.

"If only I chose faster, then maybe we could have…" She clasped her hands in front of her lap and bowed apologetically, "Sorry!"

"Would you cut it out already?" Lightning persisted, "I told you; it wasn't your fault." She was saying this honestly, "They used to get off at five. I don't know why the higher-ups are letting them slack off like this…" And she had to admit, there was a hint of jealousy in her voice. Why was _this_ department the _only_ department that was allowed to get off early? Their job was the most slack and non-stressful compared to the other military departments in the first place. What unfair and bullshit planning were the stupid higher-ups doing!

"Well…"

Lightning stopped herself from thinking anymore. At this rate, she might not be able to control herself, and she would run to Lieutenant Amodar again and complain. A hand resting on her hip, she waited for the girl to continue. "Is there something you want to say?" She spoke upon seeing the hesitance in Vanille.

As usual, the girl responded by smiling first, "Since we still have the whole evening, do you want to do something fun?"

"…"

"Y'know…" Vanille had her hands clasped behind her back as she circled around the woman playfully, "If you don't mind, we can go shopping or something. I'm pretty sure the malls aren't as lazy as that," She pointed behind her, at the lost-and-found building.

Lightning crossed her arms and looked away, narrowing her eyebrows. She grunted, showing signs of unwillingness.

"Aw, come on!" She whined, "You wouldn't want an innocent and vulnerable like me to get lost again, right? Plus, I can't wear stuff from your wardrobe forever; it'd be quite rude of me, wouldn't it?"

Still unconvinced, the soldier refused to give the girl an answer.

"Hmm…" Vanille sighed. Perhaps it was best to leave this woman alone. It was her day-off after all, and who knows how often she gets that? Maybe she wanted to stay home and sleep longer in the first place anyway. "Sorry, onee-san,"

"Why are you apologizing again?" She asked in an annoyed manner.

"Am I bothering you at all? Please, you can tell me honestly." Vanille's voice turned from being joyous to bland.

Lightning raised a brow. "What's this all of a sudden?" She felt somewhat bad upon hearing that question. It felt like… it just didn't feel right to have the girl look so down.

"The fact that I'm living in your apartment," She continued, "Onee-san, I can actually leave anytime – actually, I was going to find a hotel for myself in the first place—"

Out of reflex, Lightning replied, "It's only been a day." _Wait, that wasn't what I wanted to say! _"Uh – erm…" _Yeah, you better feel bad for taking advantage of my hospitality, _"No, no – it's not that—"

"… Onee-san?"

She jumped back. Whether it was because of nervousness or embarrassment, she did not know. The strawberry-blonde's mind was telling her to kick the girl out of her life, but her body won't behave, and all she could do at the time was act like an indecisive and dumb person.

"A-are you okay?" Vanille took a step towards her, but each step she took, Lightning only backed up another one.

"… _Are you okay?" _The question she asked the girl last night when she was sleepwalking was now being asked upon her. It was like the two have exchanged roles or something – or that was, what the woman's paranoia was telling her. "I-I'm fine…" She looked down, avoiding eye contact.

"Really?" And she kept on coming closer and closer, until the woman decided to stop backing up.

"Just… just that…" Lightning could feel blood shooting up her into head; she was probably blushing like mad by now. _Come up with something, come up with something! _"I… I'm… I'm just hesitant about going shopping with you because I don't want to watch over you and your ankle,"

Vanille blinked. "Eh…?"

"Your ankle," She repeated, "It still hurts, doesn't it? You woke me from your pain this afternoon, and you were complaining about it earlier." She dropped her arms to her sides, "But if you really want to go, I-I guess I can come with you,"

The redhead grinned.

"… Since I…" She thought hard for the next word, "… Kind of… haven't… shopped for a long time."

Finally, Vanille let out a soft giggle. "Okay, onee-san," She walked on ahead, "Whatever you say!" The girl herself was getting suspicious with all her stuttering – it can't _just_ be because she also wanted to shop. Though, she had no reason to ask; Lightning already accepted her request.

_Shit, that went well. _She wiped the sweat that was lingering on her forehead with the back of her hand. Taking a deep breath, she followed the girl who skipped a bit too far. Lightning had to admit, she wasn't entirely lying just to get out of that _dangerous situation_; she was somewhat worried about the girl's ankle because each time Vanille took a step that seemed too big, she could almost envision her tripping and falling down, face-flat.

"Onee-sa—n!" She called happily to the woman, waving her arms in the air, "Come on, come on!"

Lightning shook her head. She caught up to Vanille, "Be careful,"

The girl prolonged her grin, "Yep, I will!"

"So," She scratched the back of her head. Then, she noticed that she has been doing that quite a lot whenever she was engaged in a conversation with the girl, "Where do you want to go?" She finally asked, seeing how they were getting nowhere near a shopping district.

"Well, I don't know my way here…"

_Ugh, of course. What kind of stupid question was that…?_

"So I'll be following wherever you go, onee-san!" She finished with her usual cheerful tone.

The woman sighed. Truthfully, she was thinking about wandering around places that just came to mind, but seeing how the girl needed clothes, "How about the market place or the mall nearby? They have a large variety of clothing you can choose from."

"Perfect!"

"… Yeah," The two stood there awkwardly – or rather, _Lightning _stood there awkwardly for a few seconds before realizing that she should take the lead. "Let's go, shall we?" She began to walk ahead.

"Mmm… before we go…"

The woman stopped to listen, "What?"

Vanille kicked the gravel at the tip of her toes nervously, "Hehe… can we get something to eat first? We haven't had anything… and it's already late in the afternoon…" She said quietly, embarrassed to admit that she has been hungry all along.

The soldier blinked. "Oh, food," It didn't even come to her. Naturally, it couldn't have, because she rarely eats on a regular schedule. It was a wonder that she didn't suffer from any eating disorders at all. "What do you want to eat?"

"Anything is fine," Vanille replied.

Lightning rolled her eyes. Why, of course, anything is fine; she was expecting that answer anyway. "Then… how about something quick, like fast food?"

Instantly, the girl narrowed her eyebrows. Then, she leaned forward to the woman with a stern expression. "Onee-san…"

"… What?" Slightly frightened by her unnatural look, Lightning leaned back without moving her feet.

"Earlier this afternoon, I checked your fridge," The shorter girl crossed her arms, "And all you had in there was milk, juice, water, and microwave-goods."

"… Yeah…?" She waited for the girl to continue, for she really had no idea what she was trying to get at.

Vanille squint her eyes as she leaned closer, pressuring the taller woman to step back. "Let me guess; all you ever eat is take-out, instant food, and anything that is… fast and easy to make?"

"Yes…" Lightning stretched her answer, afraid of saying it out clearly. Well, now she understood; the girl was getting worried about her diet and such, how could she not have figured that out earlier? "Listen…" She turned to the pigtailed girl, but ended up cowering and looking back away. She wanted to tell her that it was none of her business, but she couldn't do it. Vanille, right now, looked… a bit too scary; almost as if she were older, more in charge, like a guardian – or perhaps… she was acting like a mom. The soldier couldn't bring herself to say something so rude to her at the moment. "N-never mind…" _Damn it, stop stuttering!_

As if she were scolding a child, the redhead grunted angrily and started, "How could you do that!"

_Oh, boy. _Lightning tried to look away casually, intimidated by her raised voice.

Vanille ran around the strawberry-blonde to face her directly. "You can't just feed off those unhealthy stuff – they're full of MSG, excessive flavouring, artificial stuff… and, and, and… all kinds of unhealthy things! Yet you…" She paused to briefly look at the soldier's well-toned body. _Tall figure, slim waist, long and slender legs… _A hint of jealousy shot up her spine, which she quickly shook away, "Anyway, it doesn't matter that you're able to maintain such a nice body _(yes it does!) _even with all that junk. You still need to eat fruits, vegetables, and just… properly in general!"

"Okay." Lightning went along with her, agreeing with everything she said so that this lecture could end quickly.

"Oh, you…!" She huffed and pouted angrily. Her patience was running low. The woman wasn't even paying attention, so there was no point in going on. Vanille had her hands on the sides of her waist, "Well then, onee-san,"

"…" Lightning turned back to the girl with a subtle scowl.

And almost immediately, the angry face on Vanille was replaced with a smile. "Let's go grocery shopping,"

She widened her eyes. "What!" Lightning was actually more surprised in her quick change in expression; one minute, she was pouting angrily, and now, she's smiling so damn innocently—

"Grocery shopping!" Vanille repeated happily.

"W-why!"

"Why? Isn't that obvious?" She laughed, "I'm going to cook for you tonight!"

"What…!" _Does this girl have any idea what she's saying! _"You? Cook? For me!"

"Yep!"

"B-but…" She tried to come up with something, "W-what about your clothes? Don't you want to shop for them? Aren't you in desperate need of them? A-aren't you…" She was on the verge of giving up, "Aren't you hungry right _now_? Don't you want to go eat like… now?"

"Oh, onee-san…" Vanille clicked her tongue as she shook her head, "You don't trust my cooking?"

"No, it's not that," She answered straight away, _don't you find it strange to cook in somebody else's house? In this case, someone whom you've just met! _"Like…" In truth, Lightning knew that she could easily reject her offer by saying _"It's fine, we'll just eat at a fancier restaurant with healthier food". _Sadly, her poor communication skills brought shyness to her throat, thus bringing upon _this _result.

"No?" The girl tilted her head in confusion.

"J-just that…" She took a deep breath, "… You're a guest after all, and I don't think it's appropriate for you to cook for me…" Angry at herself for not being able to say what she had in mind again, she bit on her tongue, hard. _Why can't she just yell at her!_

The redhead giggled. "Think of it like this: it's my way of thanking you for letting me stay in your beautiful apartment."

This conversation was feeling very one-sided. All the messages she wanted to deliver to this girl were not being done so, but what pissed her off even more was that everything the girl was delivering to her _was_. Looking down at Vanille, hoping that she was able to blurt everything out in one shot – _those sharp green eyes – _she couldn't do it. "F-fine," _GOD DAMN IT! _"Do as you like." Perhaps she just no longer wanted to argue, or perhaps she didn't even care in the first place… _or just… just maybe…_

"Okay!" She skipped on ahead again, "Which way to the supermarket?"

She pointed to a direction, not even sure if it was right because she was getting so confused.

… _Just maybe, deep inside, she actually wanted someone to cook for her._

* * *

She had to admit, the redhead looked quite professional and respectable in an apron. Also, the smell coming from the kitchen was nowhere near burnt; rather, it smelled kind of good. Lightning found herself rather enjoying her day-off for once, for she was no longer just sleeping in and doing nothing. At least right now, she has something to look forward to.

"Onee-san,"

Lightning looked up from her magazine and turned to the girl, who had her back facing her because she was so occupied with all the cooking. Simply looking at her wouldn't give her an answer, the soldier realized, so she had to call out, "What?"

"It's my turn to ask if you have anything you're allergic to," Vanille appeared to be mixing something in the pan – must be some sort of sauce because the smell was quite strong, but her voice was still cheery and non-stressed.

Raising a brow, it took her quite a while to figure out what she was talking about. Then it came to her; turned out that Lightning herself has asked the same question the night before. "No, nothing,"

"Okay, thanks!" The girl said politely.

She felt kind of bad for not helping at all, but at the same time, she knew that if she offered to help, the girl would push her back out into the living room. Still, she had to try. Lightning literally shoved the magazine off her lap, onto the white leather sofa, and stood up. She paused; thinking briefly – one more time – before she set out to walk towards the kitchen. Once there, "I think I should help after all," She managed to ask as casually as possible.

"Aw, but there really is no need! I'm nearly done,"

Lightning looked down at whatever Vanille was making; it was sauce after all, and—

"Oh, I know. Onee-san, you can help me taste this!" Nearby, she grabbed a spoon and scooped a fair amount up, pointing it towards the taller woman whilst keeping her hand underneath to prevent the sauce from dripping onto the ground.

"Wha—" Out of reflex, Lightning backed up.

"C'mon, say _ahh_!" Urged Vanille as she waited for the woman to open her mouth.

Lightning blinked. She was very much confused with the way the girl was acting. _Aren't you being a bit too comfortable around the house…?_ "I-I can feed myself…" Somehow, her voice wouldn't project the way she wanted it to; then again, lately, everything her mind told her to do, her body would illogically reject its orders and did something else. Gently, she took the spoon from Vanille's nimble fingers. She glanced at the girl, who was waiting avidly for her opinion. Sighing, Lightning took one more look at the white substance in the silver utensil, and nibbled at the tip of the spoon.

"Well?" She asked right when her lips touched the utensil.

She was very, very, _very_ obviously trying to keep a normal stance and facial expression. But… "This is good," Her words were muffled as the spoon was still inside her mouth. Then she realized; again, she couldn't control what she wanted to say. It just… slipped out of her mouth – she just _praised _the girl, unintentionally.

"Really?"

_Yes, now give me another spoon— _"Yes, it's good." She dropped the used spoon into the sink; but what she really wanted to do was to take another spoonful—

"Great! So you like it!"

"More or less," She shrugged her shoulders.

"Of course," Vanille laughed, "My cooking can't possibly be _that_ good to make you say it's delicious or anything,"

Was she being sarcastic? Was she only saying that so she could counter her with another praise? All these weird thoughts were bursting out of the woman's mind – but a part of Lightning somehow convinced herself that she was actually thinking too much. "Well, at least you cook better than me." Lightning whispered to herself.

"Hmm? Onee-san, did you say something?" The redhead asked without turning her head to her, as she was too busy stirring the spaghetti that was boiling in the pot.

She sighed, "No, I didn't say anything."

"Oh, okay," Vanille shook the subject off, "Well, the food's almost ready, so…"

"I'll get the table set up," Lightning cut her off before she could finish.

The girl looked at her briefly to give her a smile, "Thanks,"

She nodded her head and took some silverware from a drawer, and some plates from a cupboard. Heading for the dining table that was right behind the white sofa, she set the things down carefully and as properly as she could; that was the least she could do, after all. Crossing her arms, she sat on the table and waited for the girl to finish so that she could bring the food over.

Vanille could tell that the woman was actually very hungry and was just not showing it, so she tried to work as quickly as she could.

"_I wonder if she knows that she sleepwalks," _Lightning thought to herself as she was getting bored. She eyed the girl in the kitchen from head to toe, _"It'd be strange if she doesn't." _

"_Are you going to… me… as well?"_

What did she mean by that? Not only did she sleepwalk, she also woke up from a bad dream – did this all connect? … Actually, more importantly, she knew nothing of this girl's background. She told her that she came here for a vacation, but… all by herself? Who goes on vacations all by themselves, especially at such a young age? This was getting all too confusing – the soldier had to ask. What if… what if she's from—

"The food's ready, onee-san!" Vanille said as she placed the plate of spaghetti and salad onto the table. "Please, sit down," And she did so herself, placing the handkerchief onto her lap. She looked up at Lightning, waiting for her to sit down as well so she could start eating.

Without responding, she sat down across from the girl. Crossing her arms, Lightning waited for Vanille's next move – she was a host after all, she couldn't possibly eat first—

Seeing her all motionless, Vanille figured that the woman was waiting to be served. She did not mind it one bit, so she stood up, grabbed the fork and spoon, "Onee-san, do you want salad or spaghetti first?"

Lightning's mind was elsewhere, and it took her a few seconds to realize that the girl just asked her a question. "W-what?" She stared at Vanille, who was slouching over the table, waiting for her to answer whatever she just asked. "Oh—" _Damn, where are your manners! _She thought to herself, "Err, uh, sit… sit down, I'll do this," Keeping her cool, she stood up and reached for the fork and spoon in the redhead's hand.

"Oh? I thought you were waiting for me to serve you!" She laughed and obeyed, sitting down politely with her hands in her lap.

"Err, no… sorry, I was spacing out. So, which one would you like first?" She held the spoon and fork together, making it act as a tong.

"Mmm…" Vanille put a finger under her chin, looking at the food she made. Then, briefly, her eyes glanced at the woman's, and realized that she had them glued onto the spaghetti. The redhead giggled quietly, "I'll have the salad first, please,"

Lightning nodded. She took the girl's plate and quickly filled half of it with her desired choice. Then, she filled her own plate with the food she has been looking forward to for so long.

At the other end of the table, Vanille was watching. She couldn't shake that cheeky grin off her face, nor could she stop looking. This woman was too funny. The way she acted, the way she talked, the way she _hid _her needs… the girl loved these types of characters; she always thought that they were the most fun and interesting to, simply, look at.

She tried to eat with etiquette, but the food's too good. She hasn't had something this good for a long, _long_ time. There was no way she could hold back, but she still tried to not eat like a glutton. Lightning still rolled the spaghetti up with her fork in her left hand against the spoon she was holding onto with her right, and when she rolled up enough (which was way more than her manners told her to roll) she dropped the spoon in the plate lightly, switching the fork to her right side, and ate the spaghetti in one mouthful.

There really was no point for her to so politely – almost _too _politely, as she was eating like she were with a group of higher ups or a bunch of businessmen. Vanille munched on her salad and watched the woman happily. The fact that she was trying so hard brought so much joy and entertainment to her eyes. "Onee-san,"

Lightning looked up.

She smiled, "Do you always eat this politely?"

The woman nodded naturally.

"Hmm," Vanille tilted her head a bit, "But I'm not someone with authority… so I think it'd be better if you ate normally… like, not so business-y… y'know?"

It was like relief to her ears. She dropped the spoon onto the table, letting it rest on a napkin, "You're right. Very well, then." She said simply, and continued to eat.

Vanille smiled at her bluntness. She then helped herself to another helping of the salad.

The two of them sat there silently as they ate; the girl looked as if she didn't have a care in the world, but for Lightning, she was having the _time of her life_. Not only was the _awkward_ silence pissing her off, but the fact that she still has not discovered more of this girl was driving her off the edge. She knew she had to get this over with; she knew that she would _die_ if she doesn't. Her grasp on the fork tightened, "Hey,"

The redhead looked up from her plate, "Hmm?"

Although Lightning usually did not care about impressions, she cleared her throat, starting politely, "I haven't gotten to know you yet,"

Vanille blinked.

She rolled her eyes, "You know, a proper introduction…?"

"Oh!" The girl laughed, "Yes of course, I totally forgot! Actually I was going to say something about it earlier today, but I got too caught up with all the shopping and stuff—" Her eyes caught a glimpse of the woman, who did not seem interested in her excuse at all. "… Anyway," Vanille continued, "Yes, we haven't introduced ourselves properly."

"No, we haven't." It sounded like she was pissed off, but she already held back her bluntness; perhaps it was just her voice?

She grinned and placed her fork lightly onto the table napkin, "I'm Vanille, just coming here for a vacation!"

"All by yourself?"

"Yep,"

There was no hesitation in her answer. "Where are you from?"

"Mmm… you can say that I'm from… Eden."

_The capital? _Lightning raised a brow. It didn't sound natural, but, _guess that's why she's dressed so damn weirdly. Is this how schoolgirls dress up there nowadays?_ Lightning continued, "How long are you planning to stay?"

"I dunno…" Vanille dragged her response.

It wasn't because Lightning was afraid that she might stay too long, but naturally, several conclusions jumped into her mind: the girl either ran away from home, wanted to avoid school or whatever she was going through, she couldn't stand the pressure in the capital, or she was some sort of fugitive, on the run – _wait, what?_

"What about you, onee-san? You haven't introduced yourself yet."

Her train of thoughts broken, she stared at the girl. _If this girl were a fugitive, she would know for sure, considering her occupation. _Likewise, the woman placed her fork lightly onto her napkin, "Lightning Farron."

"…"

The girl did not answer, which confused her. She crossed her arms and looked to the TV mounted onto the wall, which was on her right, without turning her head a slightest bit. The power was off, but she was just looking at it to avoid such strangeness.

"Wow," Vanille suddenly went, making Lightning look back her way. "That was the briefest introduction I've ever heard!" She chuckled, "Have you been living here for a long time?"

Her arms still crossed, "Yes, since I was born, in fact," She answered the girl coldly.

"Hmm…? Onee-san, you're from the army, aren't you? You beat those two up yesterday so easily, you must be professionally trained!"

There was no need for her to sound so enthusiastic, but Lightning answered as humbly as she could, "Yes, I'm from the military."

"Wow…" Vanille awed, "You're not wearing it now, but your outfit makes you look like you're really high-ranked!"

She shrugged her shoulders, "A sergeant isn't really considered high-ranked…"

"But you still have power and stuff! It'll be cool to see you command people around, seeing how stern you look – oh, I meant in a good way… like, looking strict and stuff won't get you bullied," The girl giggled, "Unlike me."

* * *

The two had a very awkward argument over who should wash the dishes – well, at least it was awkward for Lightning (as always), but she ended up winning, so nothing mattered. As the girl occupied the bathroom, the woman had nothing to do other than returning to her usual routine: watching the TV with the volume at its lowest. Indeed, she wasn't paying attention to the screen, as she was too busy with the thoughts of the redhead's strange behaviours. Would one randomly suggest cooking for one's own host? Would one so willingly accept such a strange and cold-hearted person's offer in staying overnight? … Would one have nightmares and… sleepwalking events that are extremely similar? All these confusing questions rose in her mind, and Lightning could not find an answer for even one of them. She was known to be the best planner when it came to team operations; never had her squad failed a single mission. What she did not understand was why she never got promoted thus far even after showing such remarkable results—

… _Shit, off topic._

Lightning closed her eyes and rubbed her temples with her fingers, hoping that this pre-examination-like headache can quickly go away. Seriously, she was stressing out herself; she was thinking too much. It'd be better if she would just relax more once in a while, and not bring up such a big deal for _every single thing_. Perhaps this girl really was just as innocent as she looked? Perhaps she really was here just for a vacation? Perhaps… perhaps she just has really, really horrible insomnia, causing her to have such major bad dreams—

_What are the chances!_

That's true. All of this… they can't possibly be coincidences, right? Like… who would go on a vacation on their own? Who would be so damn vulnerable to everything? Who—

A loud shriek came from the end of the hallway, followed by a sound of a door banging open. Lightning instantly stood up, positioning herself in a fighting-stance, ready to take on whatever that would come in her way— Her eyes widened, "What… what the…!"

"Onee-san! Onee-san! Aaaah!" It was the girl, in nothing but a light-yellow towel, all soaked from head to toe, running towards her like some rapist was chasing her from behind. "Help me! Help me!" She jumped over the white sofa that was waist-high without difficulty as if she were an Olympic-hurdler.

The soldier, who was prepared for anything and _everything_, was not-so-prepared for _this. _"H-h-help—? What the f—!" She couldn't finish, as Vanille has cut her off by grabbing onto her shoulders so hard from behind; the girl was probably using her as a shield from whatever scared the shit out of her.

"Inside…! Inside!" The shorter girl pointed towards the bathroom at the end of the hallway, adjacent from the dusty room she never entered.

"… What?" Question marks were all that she could see right now. Her arm still dripping with water, Lightning's eyes followed the girl's trail of wet footsteps. Cautiously (with Vanille still clutching onto her shoulders from behind), she made her way towards the bathroom.

"Be careful…"

As the two stood outside the bathroom, the soldier began to wonder: what were they really after? There was no way that anything could break into this apartment, after all. The woman turned around to look at the girl, who was shivering as droplets of water rolled down every part of her body. "What's inside?"

Swallowing hard, she stuttered, "A-a, uh, a… s-spider…"

Lightning literally dropped her jaws. Shaking her head, "Ugh," She gently brushed the girl's hands off her shoulders, and stormed into the steaming bathroom. Glancing around briefly, she found the said spider lingering nonchalantly on the showerhead. Sighing, she walked over to turn off the tabs, and then she grabbed a few blocks of toilet paper, wrapping them around a hand. Swiftly, she reached for the black arachnid, trapped it with a hand, and crushed it, hard. It was half the size of her palm – pretty big, she had to admit; the moment she squeezed it in her hand, Lightning could feel and hear the crushing sounds of its shell and flesh… but it wasn't scary enough to make her cringe. "Egh," Lightning let out a sound of disgust and wrapped up the spider's corpse in the soft paper, throwing it accurately into the toilet and then flushing it down the drain immediately afterwards.

"I-is it dead…? Did you kill it?" Vanille peeked into the bathroom.

"Yeah, it's dead," Lightning answered as she washed her hands. For some reason, she felt more or less… proud, rather than annoyed. Like, she was glad that the girl came screaming for her help, because now, well, she felt… accomplished; almost as if she's completed a mission.

"O-okay…" The girl tiptoed into the room, holding onto the towel at her chest tightly.

Maybe it was because Bodhum has been eventless for months now – almost a year. Even if the two worlds were at war, this _safe_ and _boring_ town remained unaffected. Perhaps that was the reason why the soldier felt so good, even though all she did was taking care of a spider.

"Sorry about the mess…" The girl started sincerely, "All I've been causing is trouble, so—"

"Oh, no," Lightning shook her head. She really did not mind at all, but didn't know how to express it. "Err," _I've actually been waiting for something exciting to happen. _"… Uh, no," Frustrated, she bit onto her tongue, "D-don't worry about it. I don't mind that one bit… so, j-just…" She pointed at the tub, making the girl follow her finger.

"…" Confused, Vanille looked back at Lightning with a smile.

She let out a low breath, "I meant… you can shower at ease now," It took all of her to say that.

"Oh! Haha!" The girl laughed nervously, "Yes, of course! Thanks again, onee-san. That was one _huge_ spider, there's no way I could've taken care of it."

Lightning nodded in agreement. She headed towards the door, "Just don't act as if a serial killer is chasing you the next time you see a bug,"

It may sound as if she was joking, but Vanille knew very well that she was being serious. "Hehe… yep! I'll be sure to remember that…!" She tapped the floor with her toes nervously and stuck her tongue out.

As she closed the door behind her, she shook her head to her illogical… _incompetency_. Why was it that whenever the girl was around, she started acting so damn strangely? The inability to do as she liked, to speak freely, to… well, pretty much to do _everything_. There was always some sort of wall there, in which she failed to climb through, causing such lame, stupid, and horribly embarrassing responses from herself. "Ugh…" Letting go of the doorknob, she dragged her reluctant legs back to the sofa; her whole body seemed dead, probably (most likely) because of the way she has been acting lately. Literally, she threw herself onto white furniture and closed her eyes, unwilling – _unable_ to think all this nonsense anymore.

* * *

Vanille came out of the shower while drying her hair, ridding those pigtails she wore during the daytime. The girl actually wanted to apologize to her host once more, but stepping into the living room, the said person was nowhere to be found. "Hmm," She pursed her lips curiously as she looked to every direction of the room, until she heard a familiar soft breathing sound.

_Must be at the same place…_

She approached the white sofa, its back against the hallway which was where she was coming from. Her ankle was aching even more intensely since she just ran so much a few minutes ago, but she tried her best to keep quiet. The sounds became more audible as she became closer to the furniture, and gradually, as she leaned over, she found her host sleeping, much like earlier this afternoon. Once again, she couldn't help it but to smile at that childlike-sleeping face. Quietly, Vanille slid the towel down her head, letting it hang loosely over her neck. She then made her way to Lightning's room to fetch the blanket that she stored away earlier.

Vanille felt like a mother, really, as she pulled the covers over the weary soldier's sleeping figure. Strangely, she found herself enjoying this, for she's never taken care of anyone before. The girl proceeded to turn off the lights in the kitchen and living room, and the soundless TV, thinking that she should leave the soldier alone. But when the room turned dark, the blue lights from the sky poured into the window, making the entire flat glow in a… beautiful yet melancholic light. Entranced, Vanille made her way to the window. She placed her fingers onto the cold glass and leaned in to get a better view outside. What was beautiful about this apartment wasn't because of the grand panoramic view that it possessed, but it was what the view _gave_ the apartment. The endless stars above for some reason looked far more beautiful from indoors to Vanille – it almost felt as if she were in an aquarium, looking at sparkling fish. The black ocean helped emphasize the effect, as it was so clear that it reflected each and every star in the sky.

Lightning awoke to the unusual warmth. She opened her eyes and found her vision blurred with darkness, but when her rods adapted, she realized that it was because of the lack of light in the room. She sat up, and saw the girl a few steps away from the sofa, staring outside into the view, the light turning her figure into a silhouette as her shadow on the floor stretched to the foot of the sofa. Lightning let out a soft yawn and stood up, pushing that navy blanket Vanille covered over her to the end of the couch. She walked over to the girl with no intention of starting a conversation.

She felt the woman moving the moment she woke up, but Vanille just could not keep her eyes off the window. "Onee-san,"

Right beside the girl now, Lightning turned to her and answered, "What?"

"I…" Her mouth hung open; she actually had nothing to say, "… I didn't mean to wake you."

The woman frowned "You didn't. I can't fall completely asleep without taking a shower anyway." She followed Vanille's emerald eyes, looking at whatever vastness she was looking at. A feeling of déjà vu overwhelmed her – weren't they here, in the exact position, less than twenty-four hours ago? Unusually, she began, "Does Eden have little place for its residents to look at stars? Is that why you're so fond of them?"

Lightning's question drew her attention away from the window, "Actually, I'm fond of the stars because looking at them reminds me of my home,"

_Then go home already!_ "Hm, I thought the capital was filled with buildings and skyscrapers, so that there would be no way for the people to look at the sky." She clenched her fists, frustrated that she cannot, AGAIN, speak out her thoughts to this god-forsaken girl.

"More or less,"

Her answer was quite inconsistent, but the woman chose to ignore it; it wasn't like she was particularly interested in the capital anyway.

"Ne, onee-san, you are certain that it is alright for me to stay here?" Vanille asked politely, "I think it's best if you would charge me of—"

"For the last time, it's fine," Lightning interrupted, "You're not _that_ annoying, yet."

She brought her fist to her mouth, covering that quiet laughter, "Well, I'll try my best to remain as pleasant as I possibly can, in a way that I will not bother you." The redhead started to dry her hair again, "But you can kick me out anytime you like, okay?"

"It's my decision," The woman said simply. She crossed her arms and headed towards the hallway, "I'm going to use the shower now, do you need to go in anymore?"

"Nope," The towel wrapped over her damp hair dangled loosely with the girl's movements, "Don't worry about me, onee-san, you go ahead and do your thing."

Lightning did not know why – she only met this girl yesterday – but… "Alright, then," But she couldn't help it but to have some sort of absolute trust towards her. It was almost as if everything spoken by this girl was the truth, there was no hint of deceit, only honesty. She didn't want to admit it, but perhaps it was because she – Vanille – reminded her of someone.

_Someone very, very close. _

Someone whom she missed – a lot.

* * *

**_Not a very eventful chapter (in fact, quite a boring one if you ask me), but at least it didn't take me two months to update hehe.  
More to come soon, like ACTUALLY. _**

**_Reviews are always welcomed :D_**


	4. Wounds

Chapter 4 - Wounds

"_Let go of her."_

"_No," The man with the black bandana pushed the girl behind him, shielding her with his enormous body, "I'm not letting her go."_

_The girl behind him clenched onto his beige coat, "Please, onee-chan, let me explain—"_

"_Either come back with me this instant,"_

"… _Onee-chan…"_

"_Or don't talk to me for the rest of your life."_

_She felt like crying. "Y-you're…" Her voice began to crack. The man wrapped an arm around her shoulder, "Onee-chan… you're always like this…"_

_The taller strawberry-blonde ignored her._

"_You never listen to me!" She raised her voice._

_She turned to glare at her sister, who, surprisingly, stood her ground and glared back, fighting to resist the droplets that are pouring out of her tear ducts. "You never talk, you never listen, you're always so selfish… how exactly can I understand you!"_

_Those words pierced into her ears like needles. "Me, selfish?" She faked a laugher, "Hn, saying whatever you want." The woman managed to keep her cool, "But I'm not letting you go with him."_

"_Nee-san!"_

"_Don't call me that!" She bellowed and clenched her fists, gritting her teeth at him. She __**hated **__it when he talked. "You have no business with us."_

"_Yes he does," The girl argued. "Onee-chan, I'm—"_

"Sergeant Farron, ma'am!"

Lightning blinked. She shook her head to get that flashback out of her head, and damn, it was clearer than reality. "Report," She said to the soldier awaiting her orders.

"All's quiet, nothing to report."

It was an expected answer. What could possibly happen in this stupid town? She stood straight, pushing herself away from the wall she was leaning on for so long and uncrossed her arms, "Retreat."

"Ma'am!" The lower-ranked soldier gave her a salute and marched away.

The woman sighed. She wasn't tired or anything, but this boredom sure was getting to her. She was quite positive that very soon, she may pass out from the lack of things to do, and she wasn't even joking. Looking up at the sky, she realized that it was way past patrolling hours; she should probably head home… and maybe… just _maybe_, another good meal would be prepared for her. "Ugh…" Lightning shook her head once again, not wanting to get too dependent on the food in which a certain redhead had been preparing for her each night for the past week.

_Still…_

The food she made…

"_Your onee-chan doesn't cook as well as you do,"_

_The younger sister grinned at her mother, "That's what she told me! She said she loves my cooking!" She turned to her sister, "But onee-chan, cooking's my only talent… you're better than me at everything else!"_

_She frowned at her little sister, "I'd rather be a good cook than be good at any other housework…"_

"_But you can knit and sew… and you do well in ikebana… and… and…!"_

_Lightning placed a hand on her little sister's head, patting her as if she were a little puppy, "Okay, okay! I get it," She laughed, "You're a good cook, and I'm a good… err…"_

"_Sister!" She interrupted, "You're a good sister!"_

_The older sibling blushed. She smiled as widely as she could to show her joy, "Yes, that was exactly what I was thinking!"_

_The Farron sisters' mother chuckled at their silly conversation._

Lightning did not realize it, but she was already standing right in front of the door to her flat. "How did I…?" She questioned herself weakly upon noticing her current location. "Oh man… what the hell…?" She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand; they were so dry and were in so much pain. Perhaps it it'd be better to think about all this weird stuff later; right now, she needed to wash her face – desperately. Placing her thumb on the tiny screen above the doorknob, a blue laser scanned her in less than a few seconds, and the door opened immediately afterward. She dragged her legs inside and quickly took off her boots. Unbuckling the pouch that carried her gunblade, she dropped it lazily onto the ground beside her boots, completely forgetting how hard she trained to obtain that top-grade weapon from the military. As she stepped into the living room, she noticed that nothing was prepared in the kitchen.

_Perhaps the girl's gone shopping or sightseeing, like what she was supposed to do as a tourist? _

She grunted and blew at her bangs, the soft pink hair bounced upwards and fell back down quickly. "It's not like I hired her to cook for me or anything," Lightning reminded herself – she might be expecting too much from everyone nowadays; from her subordinates, to the girl, to even… her little sister.

"_Onee-chan, I'm… I want to be with him." Her sister said._

Lightning headed down the hallway as those words echoed in her mind.

"_Onee-san, you've been… acting strange lately…"_

She stopped her movements. Just now, that was Vanille's voice –the little redhead, the innocent tourist from Eden – who told her the other day, when the echoes of her younger sister's voice wouldn't go away. And even someone as ignorant as that stranger could see, could _tell_ that the great Lightning Farron was slowly, gradually getting a mental breakdown.

"Wake up, wake up…" Lightning begged herself as she hit the side of her head, hard. Approaching the doorway to the washroom, she noticed that the door was slightly opened. "Odd," The woman narrowed her eyebrows. Out of habit, she would always close the doors in her house, and never leave them open or even _slightly_ opened.

_Could the girl be inside? _

She took a step forward and knocked, "Are you in there?"

A gasp.

"Oh, you're inside." The soldier said simply.

"Y-yeah…"

_Strange, why does her voice sound so weak? _Lightning peeked into the washroom, "What are you…?" She cut herself off upon seeing the girl's clothes – ones that she bought on her own over the past few days – all ripped and messed up. Vanille was obviously trying to hide something behind her, "What are you doing?" Normally, Lightning wouldn't care, but the girl looked like she was in pain…

"I'm… fine… I just fell…"

She was getting suspicious. Without thinking twice, she swung the door opened and walked forward, literally forcing the shorter girl to back up until she hit the wall.

Vanille winced a little when her back came in contact with the wall.

"Turn around," Lightning ordered, as if she were talking to her subordinates.

The girl looked down at her toes.

"Turn around," She repeated, observing the pink tank top. It was ripped in the most violent way; almost exposing too much of the girl's skin. It was evidently stretched, meaning that she probably… most likely… was assaulted. Whether it got too far or not, Lightning wasn't sure, as her lower-half – her shorts in particular, weren't damaged.

"Onee-san, I'm fine… so please…"

Lightning grunted and forcefully turned her around, making her squeak in surprise when she faced the wall. The woman widened her eyes at the sight, "What happened?" She asked immediately. A large diagonal cut – from Vanille's shoulder blade to the other end of her scapula was found. The blood stained through her tank top, and the hole of the fabric was as large as the cut itself. The wound didn't look too deep, but she was still bleeding quite immensely.

She kept quiet, almost as if she was refusing to answer the question.

The soldier was planning to ask; it was her job after all, to look for those who caused trouble in this boring town. "Never mind," But still, "We need to treat this, fast," She still had to take care of the situation right now. Standing up, she walked over to the cupboard and grabbed the medical kit inside, "Take off your clothes."

"W-what?"

Rolling her eyes, she dropped the box onto the floor and took off her blue gloves to wash her hands, "I said, take off your clothes. I need to wash your wound." She grabbed a towel and put it under the running tab, getting it damp enough as she waited for the girl to do as she instructed.

Hesitantly, and ever-so-slowly, Vanille's shaking hands pulled the tank top over. She dropped it to the ground and proceeded to remove the clips of her bra on her back, dropping the undergarment with her pile of clothes as well.

Lightning shook her head at the girl's slowness. "You know, at this rate, you might bleed to death?"

Vanille gasped. The woman was obviously joking, but, "I-I know… I'm sorry, I…" She swallowed, "I've never… really… stripped in front of anyone before…"

She frowned. "Well, I'm not going to film you or anything. There are no hidden cameras here either," Lightning really did not mean to say it so sarcastically.

The woman's dry sense of humour wasn't exactly lightening up her mood. Vanille kept quiet, giving Lightning the sign to do as she liked.

She shook her head once again before gently pressing the wet towel onto the huge scratch. The girl instantly tensed up; she bit onto her lower lip to hold back anymore strange noises that would escape from her throat. Lightning completely disregarded her painful reactions and continued. As she dabbed the wound lightly, she observed the cut and realized that whatever scratched her was a typical pocketknife in which anyone could buy from any dollar store.

Well, now, this was as awkward as _hell_. Vanille was so embarrassed, she couldn't move a muscle. It seemed as if this woman was her personal nurse or something. Not only that, but… even though Lightning already told her that it was alright, she's been living in her house without having to pay! And she did not even tell her how long she was going to stay—

"Come here,"

"… Eh?" Vanille looked back. The woman pointed at the room across the opened door, which was hers.

"Your bleeding isn't stopping, it'd be best if you're on your stomach."

The girl nodded her head and proceeded to the room while Lightning picked up the medical kit and followed after her.

"Lie down," She said simply, pointing at her bed. The girl obeyed without saying a word – quite a relief to Lightning since she didn't really wanted to start any unnecessary conversations. The wet towel still in her hand, she sat down on the edge of the bed and pressed the towel onto Vanille once more, this time with more pressure. Then, Lightning could see the girl clenching her fists as she was trying her best to endure the pain; her face was also buried in the soft white pillow – she was probably fighting back tears.

Vanille continued to think. She wondered if she was a hassle. She wondered why the soldier hasn't questioned her. She also wondered why this woman was willing to help her so much – unconditionally. Suddenly, all these thoughts were overcome by the pain on her back, which prevented her from coming up with a conclusion. She gritted her teeth as a sharp spasm shot all over her body – _itch? Pain…? – _Most likely the latter, but she couldn't really tell.

Thinking that it's been long enough, she removed the wet towel that was stained with the girl's crimson blood. She grabbed the antibiotic cream from the medical kit and squeezed a decent amount onto two fingers. Next, she spread the white cream onto the girl's wound, following the red – _perfectly straight – _line.

"Hnn!" Whatever sound that just came out of her mouth scared the shit out of herself, for she has never made such a noise before. As more and more of those painful chills poured into her cut from the woman's touch, she began to lose it; Vanille could no longer stay still.

"Don't move," Lightning commanded, holding her down by grabbing onto her shoulders.

"It… it hurts…" She moaned.

The woman frowned. "It's just for a bit," She released her and continued to apply the cream around the cut. Normally, after cleaning out wound, she would put on bandage right away, but… who knows what kind of germs were in whatever cut her? As she moved her fingers closer to the middle of the scratch which, probably, was where the knife cut her the deepest, the girl's hand clenched harder at the sheets, almost ripping them. Her other hand was desperately searching for something to grab onto so that she could channel the pain away, and naturally, Lightning couldn't keep her eyes off it – _because it was so damn distracting._

"Will I… will I need stitches?" The redhead forced the words through the pain.

"If you keep moving, then yeah, most likely."

"Oh…" She murmured. Tears began to build up as she thought about it, "I… I won't m-move…"

Lightning held back a chuckle; the girl almost sounded cute just now.

"I won't have to go to the hospital, right…?"

"Probably,"

"Oh… no…"

The woman sighed. "Just stay still," She could tell Vanille's grasp on the sheets was tightening, almost to the point where the fabric would rip, "And I guarantee you won't need stitches." Finally done, she wiped her oily fingers with a tissue she grabbed nearby, "I'm going to patch you up now."

Weakly, Vanille pushed herself up, with her back still facing the soldier. She crossed her arms – whether it was for warmth or privacy, she had no idea, she just did it.

Again, Lightning frowned at her slowness. When she was about to reach into the medical kit to grab some bandages, she realized that she would have to wrap them around the girl's chest – like a bra – in order to make it more secure, but…

_She swallowed, staring at the embarrassed Vanille, getting nervous herself._

"_Just patch her up as if you were patching up a wounded soldier, like in training!" _Her inner voice reminded her. Yes, back then when she was still a rookie, not allowed to go into real battles, she had to patch up wounded soldiers from the war against Pulse. She never liked it in the Fifth Arc, it was so close to the foreign and dangerous lands below, it made her feel sick to the stomach. Often, corpses of fellow soldiers on the same squad would be brought in, and she could only blame herself for not being able to be more useful, for not being able to fight with them. Eventually, when she finally made it up to the rank of sergeant, she got sent away, back to this lonely, boring, _stupid_ town of Bodhum.

Vanille, meanwhile, was wondering why the soldier was taking so long. Could she not find the necessary materials? Was she finally beginning to feel suspicious? Did she finally decide to give up on such a pathetic girl? Slowly, she turned her head around, enough to catch a glimpse of the woman. From her position, Vanille could tell that the strawberry-blonde was spacing out… yet again – just like how she has been lately. "Um… onee-san?" She started softly, trying to catch Lightning's attention.

Why did she get sent back anyway? Were her skills not sufficient enough? If they were, then why bother promoting her? What the hell were the higher-ups in Eden thinking…?

Getting no response, Vanille called out louder, "Onee-san,"

"H-huh?"

Her head still turned to the woman, she started, "Is there something wrong?"

Lightning blinked. God – she must have looked pretty damn stupid just now, "Oh, no, it's nothing. Turn back around,"

The girl nodded her head.

"Raise your arms," Inside, Lightning kept telling herself that she was a girl, and just because this was her first time tending wounds to a girl, it did not mean that she had to be shy about it. It was all the same.

Vanille had an idea what the soldier was going to do; she knew that there was nothing wrong with it – _hell, if the soldier were a man, it'd be wrong, but – _but still, nobody, _nobody_ has ever seen her naked, let alone _touch_ her naked. "O-okay…" But she obeyed once more, knowing that this was for her own good, and that the woman was doing it out of kindness.

"_Lucky you didn't get cut right on your chest." _Lightning thought. She took a deep breath, shoving the intense awkward feeling in the air away, and swiftly wrapped the bandages around Vanille's chest, making sure that she has the essential parts covered. But she couldn't help it but to notice such a big, _big _difference; all the people she has tended to were men (yes, she was very well aware of that), and they were always so outgoing and open with her when she treated them – actually, now that she thought about it, nobody ever treated her like a lady. Sure, she got praised once in a while for being 'too pretty to be working in the military, and should become a teacher or something else instead', but she never paid much attention to them. She avoided answering, or even reacting, to those remarks anyway. One by one, she would help the wounded soldiers; be it their legs, chest, arms, abdomen… she would simply follow orders, do her job, and tend to them. They sat there, sometimes silently, sometimes happily _for god knows what reason_, and sometimes even unconsciously – all depending on their situation, character, and mood. There would be no awkward tension in the air, and there would be no hesitation either. That was only because she was doing her job.

_But now…_

She was off work, the girl wasn't wounded from battle, nor was she a guy… was this the reason why the woman was sweating like crazy? Her hands were trembling without her knowing, and unlike the times when she wrapped bandages around those soldiers' chests where she does it firmly and professionally, she had to admit, right now, she was doing a rather half-assed job. Maybe it was just her paranoia, but she could swear that the bandages were so loose—

"Erm… onee-san…?"

Lightning looked at the back of the girl's head. "What is it?"

"C-can I… lower my arms now…?"

The woman blinked. _Oh right, her arms are still up._ "Yeah," She answered as simply as possible for she did not want the girl to know that she was getting nervous. "This…" She took a deep breath, "… may hurt a bit,"

"Eh—? Aah! Ow!"

Lightning has tightened the two ends of the bandages, pulling one over the girl's shoulder, and the other under her arm, almost forcefully. Next, she tied them securely at her back in a nice butterfly loop-knot. "Alright, done." Perhaps she suddenly got so careless because she wanted to get this over with. The soldier got off the bed and picked up the medical kit on the floor. "I'll, uh, check if it bleeds again later. Just tell me… if it hurts too much." Lightning quickly headed for the door, closing it gently behind herself.

Vanille, meanwhile, was somewhat shocked and dumbfounded. All of a sudden, the soldier just… sped up her wound-treating process, and then quickly 'ran' away. It was just all too surprising for her, making her unable to react properly. "Well," She stood up and walked towards the shopping bags she placed next to the host's desk, "Guess I'm still not used to your shy side just yet," Reaching into the bags for something to wear, she grabbed a very girly and, what she defined as, 'cute' bra. "Ah, this is pretty!" She smiled. Though, her expression was soon taken over by confusion, for she has realized that it was quite impossible to put on a bra with those bandages wrapped around her that were already acting as one.

* * *

"I insist!" The girl said happily as they walked through the market. Even in the evening when the sky is dark, this area of the town was still quite crowded.

Lightning rolled her eyes, "Just because you didn't cook for me, it doesn't mean you have to treat me,"

Vanille chuckled. She skipped on ahead with her hands clutched behind herself and faced the woman, "Well, onee-san, I think it's only appropriate for me to treat and cook for you…" Standing right in front of the taller woman, she made Lightning stop walking. "I know you've been telling me not to worry about it, but I still feel bad for living in your house! So please? Can I treat you? Just this once?" She clapped her hands together, bringing them close to her face with her eyes closed. The girl had to admit, she has always been proud of her own pleading abilities.

"Ugh…" The strawberry-blonde grunted and looked to the side. She bit onto her tongue, fighting the urge to shove her lame, stupid, _cute_ request off. Her head wasn't facing Vanille, but her eyes somehow moved on their own, almost as if they were attracted to some sort of magnet – on the girl's face. From Lightning's view, she could see a little child in a very innocent position, asking, begging her older sibling to buy her candy.

"_Please, onee-chan? Pretty please?" The little girl purposely changed the pitch of her voice, turning it into a very immature and squeaky sound. _

_The elder sister crossed her arms. "I don't know…" She turned away from the girl, "If mom found out, I'd get in trouble…"_

"_I won't tell her! I promise! So please buy me some candy! Pretty please!" _

Vanille opened an eye, peeking at the woman as she was wondering why she wasn't responding. To her surprise, Lightning was spacing out again; she was staring into thin air, her body seemed dead, and she looked as if she would collapse if somebody made the slightest contact with her.

_She sighed. Secretly, she was already planning to buy her sister whatever she wanted. "Alright, fine. I'll come with you,"_

"_Yay!"_

"Where…"

Vanille blinked. Though she was still spacing out, Lightning just said something that she missed. "Pardon?"

She turned to the girl, "Where would you like to go?"

"Uh, err… I, uh…" Suddenly, this woman could snap back to reality; she caught the girl completely off-guard. Vanille tried her hardest to not stutter, "Um, I heard there are really good restaurants on the western beach. Should we go there and look?"

"I thought you didn't like the sunset?"

She was surprised that the woman remembered such a minor thing. Vanille could recall that she only whispered that comment to herself… on the first day they met. "Well," She pointed to the sky, Lightning followed her finger, "It's already nine-ish, I think the sun's set completely."

Lightning shrugged her shoulders. "Whatever you want," She walked on ahead, and could hear Vanille's gentle footsteps treading merrily along with her own. Shocking she could differentiate the girl's from this massive crowd.

"Do we have to go into this one?"

"Onee-san, you don't want to?" Vanille looked around the bar. She only came in because the neon sign looked the most appealing, and the fact that it looked so welcoming and popular amongst the other ones. "I'm really okay with anything. We can go to some other place – next door, even – if you don't like it here?"

Lightning nodded her head. "Yeah, let's just—"

"Sergeant Farron!" A deep, mellow, male's voice from one of the tables of the bar called out. That voice, unfortunately, brought up a lot of attention. Then, a significant number of people from different sections of the bar shifted their gaze to the entrance, which was where the woman and the girl were standing.

"Oh, god…" Lightning shut her eyes in agony.

"Oh hey, it's Lightning!"

"Light! Haven't seen you in a while!"

"Wow, you need to come down more often, Light!"

"God damn…" The woman gritted her teeth. Vanille could tell that she really wanted to disappear on the spot, but for some reason, she could see the woman forcing a smile on herself. She turned to the people and waved briefly.

"Hey, Light! Got a spot for you here!" The barmaid with long, black hair tied up in a very careless yet stylish way gestured to the two seats in front of her.

"Thanks, but I was just—"

"You're not leaving are you?" A man popped his head into the space between Lightning and Vanille, throwing the two back by surprise. Immediately, he broke into laughter, "I'm sorry, Light! Just haven't been seeing you for a while, I kinda miss you, y'know?"

The strawberry-blonde grunted a sound of annoyance. "What do you want, Gadot?" She crossed her arms.

"Relax! I'm just saying 'hi' to a friend who never visits!" His playful tone and manner of speech totally contradicted the way he looked. His attire was so sporty, he looked so buff – a bit too buff – and the colour of his unnaturally-spikey hair… "Why, hello there…" He leaned down at the redhead, "Are you Light's new prey?"

Vanille blushed at the closeness. "P-prey…?"

"Gadot, stop it," Lightning shook her head. It didn't seem like she was becoming hostile towards the huge man; rather, her manner of speech wasn't even serious.

"What? I'm just sayin', Light. You're so damn popular with guys and girls. Just look, like half of the people in this bar know you. It's just so unfair for average-looking citizens like me!"

"And me." The barmaid added.

"Not you too, Lebreau," Lightning frowned.

"Anyway," The tall man hung his arms around Vanille and Lightning, pushing them to the seats the barmaid offered, "Sit down, and try our new menu… wait, it's new to you anyhow, Light. You haven't been here since your birthday last year!"

Vanille had no choice but to sit down. She was, after all, following whatever the woman was doing. She continued to observe this interesting conversation. Indirectly, she was getting to know more and more about her host.

"Hey, aren't you being a bit rude to the young lady over there? You haven't even introduced yourself," The barmaid said as she placed two cups of water onto the counter for her customers. "And get your fat arms off them,"

"Ah," He pulled back instantly, "Sorry 'bout that, young miss." The man coughed, clearing his throat, "Gadot here. I usually help with the deliver and stuff, but most of the time—"

"He slacks off and doesn't come to work," Interrupted the barmaid, getting a glare from the tanned-skinned man. "I'm Lebreau by the way, barmaid of this place, as you can see. I've been Light's friend for a while now, so if you want to know any secrets about her, just ask me," She finished with a charming wink.

"What sort of 'secrets' are you talking about?" Lightning asked coldly.

Vanille giggled at their playful interaction. "I'm Vanille. I'm… from Eden. I'm just taking a vacation on my own."

"Wow, on your own?" Lebreau said, "For how long?"

"I'm—"

"Obviously until the next semester or something starts!" Gadot cut in before Vanille could answer. He turned to the girl, "You are in school, right? You're here for summer vacation, right?"

The girl could only blink cluelessly to his hypothesis. "Erm… y-yes, of course!"

"See? I know everything about pretty girls!"

"Oh please," Lebreau rolled her eyes. "Light, what do you want to order?"

"I wasn't planning on eating here. In fact, I was just about to leave when Gadot, here, pushed me," She rested an elbow on the counter, letting her hand support her chin.

"Oh, no, no, onee-san, I'm fine with eating here, I just thought that you—"

"_Onee-san_?" The man widened his eyes, "Dude, seriously, Light, how _do_ you get so many admirers?"

Lightning didn't answer. She simply grabbed the glass of water Lebreau set out earlier and took a sip. She then turned to Vanille, "You sure you want to stay? These guys can get pretty tedious."

The girl smiled, "I'm fine, really. It's been a while since I've heard so many people talk at once, anyway."

Nodding her head, Lightning grabbed the menu slipped in between the Lebreau's working area and their counter. "Got any preferences?"

Vanille remained smiling, "I'll eat whatever you eat, onee-san,"

Gadot and Lebreau, meanwhile, were observing the girls' actions. Then, their eyes turned to each other discreetly, almost as if they were sending secret messages through the air. This sight was extremely strange to them, as Lightning rarely, _rarely_ brought people along to eat with her. Well, she probably did before all of _that_ happened—

"Alright." Lightning put down the menu, "Lebreau, we'll go with whatever the special is for today. And stop looking at me weird."

"Heh," The barmaid smirked, "Didn't think you'd notice me checking you out," She said jokingly.

"Uh huh," The strawberry-blonde rested her head on her palm again.

"Would you want a drink with that? Preferably alcohol, I suppose?" Gadot cut in once more. Then, he turned to Vanille, who was still maintaining that smile on her face, "Did y'know Light's alcohol tolerance level is inhuman?"

Lebreau nodded avidly, "Definitely. She can take up to twenty shots without having to puke."

"Twenty shots!" Vanille spun her head around to look at the woman, who still had that bored look.

The tall man walked around the counter, standing right beside Lebreau and leaned on his elbows so that he wouldn't appear too tall to everyone, "Yeah. Like last year, we made her drink twenty shots to match her age, and she really did it." He glanced at Lightning, who was looking elsewhere, still uninterested in the conversation.

"Getting red was the farthest she went. We actually wanted to see what kind of drunk she would be – happy, angry, or sad," The barmaid commented as she dried a couple of glasses with a towel.

"Wow!" Vanille said in amazement, "That's incredible! Onee-san, you should go join some alcohol-drinking contest or something!"

Lightning ignored her. "And you guys are telling her this because…?"

"Just sharing, Light, don't worry." Gadot snickered.

The redhead stared at all the different coloured alcohol bottles on the shelves behind the barmaid, "I've never seen anyone take up to twenty shots – at least consciously – in real life before…"

"Oh, I'm sure you will. Light's birthday is coming up soon,"

She sat up straight and grinned, "Soon? Really?"

"Soon enough," Lightning cut in.

"Maybe you should come down on that day? Food will be on me, how's that?" Lebreau suggested. "In return, you'll only have to take twenty-one shots." It seemed to Vanille that the soldier's friends really want to socialize more with her. Gadot was looking hopefully at Lightning, and Lebreau was trying her best to look like she wasn't begging her.

Then, she decided to join in, just to give the woman some pressure. "Yeah, onee-san! It would be fun!"

"Yuj and Maqui will come too!" Gadot added, "Actually, all of Bodhum will come if they know that it's _your_ birthday, Light!"

"Oh god, no. It's not necessary to inform the entire town,"

"Then you'll have to come! Or the whole town will make you."

"I might have work,"

"Amodar would let you off if you asked. You've never used any of your vacation time anyway,"

"I'll think about it,"

"It's your birthday, Light! Can't you relax for once?"

Her frown became bigger, "I'll think about it," She repeated.

Seeing the disappointed faces of the two, Vanille couldn't help it but to notice the strange awkwardness. Well, this was just how the woman was; she's always replying and acting so coldly, making it impossible for people to talk to her, but for some reason, she's still likable and, well, it's just impossible to have any hatred towards her. "Aw, come on, onee-san! Or would you rather spend your birthday all alone with me? I can't guarantee that I'm going to make you a good dinner on that day…"

"M-make her dinner…?" Gadot coughed. He had his eyes widened and jaws dropped. "Light, you live with her!"

Lightning raised a brow. She did not understand why he was making it such a big deal, "Technically, she lives with me."

"Heh… Light showing hospitality to people? That's a first!"

"Forget that, Lebreau, little miss here is living with the ice-cold Lightning Farron! How's it like, Vanille? Does she crawl in bed with you at night? Does she make you cook for her naked? There has to be some crazy, insane thing she does secretly that makes everyone so attracted to her,"

"What makes you think that by getting someone to cook for her naked would get them attracted to her?" Lebreau gave the tall man a look of disgust, "Jeez, Gadot, I see what unsightly fetishes you have now,"

He smirked, "Well?" His eyes were still glued onto the redhead, waiting for an answer.

"Uh… um…" Vanille's face reddened. Even someone as slow as her could tell where he was going. "No… she doesn't make me do anything strange… and we sleep separately, so…"

"Aw, damn! That's lame!" He threw his arms in the air with disappointment, "And I thought for sure something good happens when two pretty girls live together," The man yawned, letting out a loud howl. "Well, I'm just surprised that you can tolerate her bitterness. If I were to live alone with her, I might hang myself due to the stress,"

Vanille giggled at his joke, "Onee-san's not that bad! She does talk…" She turned to the woman, "… Once in a while,"

"Rarely, you mean." Gadot added, "Even her little sister couldn't stand her and— OW!" He bit onto his tongue to stop himself from screaming out loud; Lebreau just stepped on his foot with her own, and she was wearing high-heels. Eyeing the barmaid painfully, he got a smile from her – a very _fake_ smile – in return. Then, he realized that he just said something he shouldn't have – a taboo. "Err…" Turning slowly to the customers, he had hopes of changing the subject, but everything in his mind warped into a trance of fear and murky darkness once he caught a pair of azure eyes glaring at him dangerously.

Vanille, as an observer, saw the whole thing. From the part where Lebreau cut Gadot off, to the part where Gadot turned into stone once he came in eye contact with Lightning… Vanille noticed all of it. She couldn't stand the silence that overcame them all of a sudden, "Onee-san," The girl called, putting a hand on Lightning's shoulder.

She finally pulled her attention away from Gadot. Her eyes softened up before turning to the girl, "What is it?"

Vanille smiled, "Do you want to go for a walk after this?"

"A walk?" Lightning said, "Why?"

"You said that you don't like it when the beach is empty at night," She pointed outside, "This beach is loaded with people! So I just thought… maybe you can enjoy your time here, just for a bit?" The girl knew very much that what she just suggested was the most random thing ever, but to break that awkward tension, it was just done out of desperation.

Lebreau cleared her throat, "Yeah Light, you never hang around here, so why not? Night view on this beach is as pretty as the one on the east side," She nudged her elbow against the taller man.

"Uh, erm, yeah! I'll treat you guys to dessert or something?" Gadot said nervously, still unable to get over that glare from Lightning.

"It's not necessary," The woman shook off his offer. She looked back at Vanille, "Fine, we'll go for a walk."

The girl nodded happily.

* * *

Trailing closely behind the woman, Vanille's eyes glued onto the flowing crimson cape behind her. It was just… safer… for the girl to not come so close to her. That's why the distance right now was just about enough. During dinner, Lightning remained silent as she chatted easily with Lebreau and Gadot. The three of them got along quite well; there was no barrier between them, and Vanille easily made two new friends that night. It was still strange to her, however, as the woman could suddenly become so hostile towards the poor Gadot with only a simple comment.

_A comment? _

What was it that he said? Something about her little sister, she could recall. Come to think of it, in that family portrait under Lightning's TV, there was another little girl other than the woman, and then there was also that other room that no one ever entered. Was there some sort of unspeakable event that happened to the younger Farron sibling? Could that be the reason why the woman has been spacing out— "Oof!" She bumped into Lightning, who suddenly stopped walking. "S-sorry, onee-san, I wasn't looking when I…"

"Hey,"

Vanille blinked in confusion. _What's this all of a sudden? _"… Yes?"

Lightning turned around slowly, without bringing her head up to look at Vanille. She clenched onto her fist, "Is it… really that hard to… to…" Her voice became softer, but the girl was still listening, "To, like, live with someone like me…?"

"No, no, not at all!" She answered right away. "Onee-san, you're… well, okay… if you talked more, then it'd be easier. Still, I wouldn't say that it's 'hard' to live with you." Vanille wasn't really confident with her answer. Was she a bit too harsh? She was just being honest, so…

"Hm," The woman turned back around and continued to walk. "I see." She gave her the simplest and the most dull response.

Vanille did the same thing, once again trailing close behind. _"That went well." _For fun, she stepped onto the woman's footprints in the sand; it made her feel like a child again, as she only did this with her friends when she was younger. The waves washing up on the shore were only inches from where they were, and it never came to Vanille that walking by the shoreline could be this soothing. The cool ocean breeze, the fresh ocean smell, the bright white and blue lights in the sky, the people lying on the sand, minding their own business… Then, something caught her attention. It was a large dome-like, transparent tower, at least thirty stories high, sitting at the end of the beach. Out of curiosity, she walked on ahead of Lightning, but stopped so that they wouldn't be too far apart, "Onee-san, what is that?" She pointed at the tower.

Lightning squinted her eyes to get a better view. "That thing gets moved to the centre of the ocean here during Bodhum's annual fireworks festival day," She caught up to Vanille, "The fireworks are set off inside, so there will be no pollution in the air."

"Hehhh…." She tapped a finger against her chin. "Onee-san, when is the festival? Will I be able to see it before I leave?"

"You're not leaving until the next semester starts, which, I suppose, isn't until three months later, right?" Lightning received a nervous smile from the girl, "Then you'll see it, soon enough,"

"Great!" She skipped ahead, "Can we take a closer look at that?"

Seeing that there was practically no one at the base of the said tower, she shrugged her shoulders and followed the girl, who was already quite far away. Lightning did not find the need to keep up; she simply walked on at a lazy pace.

Vanille was glad that her ankle's gotten better over the past few days, otherwise she wouldn't be able to skip so easily. She approached the hollow and strange-looking tower with glee, unable to hold back the impending excitement she held for the festival and Lightning's birthday – whenever they might be. Which reminded her, maybe she should get her host a present—

"Hello there, little girl," A familiar voice slithered into her ears. The redhead shivered to the sound.

"How's that wound of yours? Oh, you changed into new clothes?" Two men appeared from behind the dome, "Why would you do that? The custom one we made for you this afternoon was sexy enough…"

Vanille's feet moved on their own; she stepped back, hoping that she could get away unlike earlier today—

"What was it like this afternoon? '_Let me go! Please let me go!' – _something like that?" One of them mocked.

"No, there was more moaning involved!" The other laughed, "And she sounded way more sexual than that!"

Vanille was trying so hard to hold back those tears, but she couldn't stop herself from shaking. She couldn't bring herself to move anymore, because it disgusted her – all the sounds she made, everything, all of it just echoed and resonated against her will, it was just so frustrating—

"Shit, I can't wait to touch her again…" One of the bigger men closed his eyes. His hands started to create squeezing motions while the other man licked his upper lip sadistically, eyeing the girl's slender legs.

"No…" Vanille forced the remainder of her will into her legs, getting ready to run. She had to; there was no way she could listen to any more of this _torture_. Taking one big breath, she prepared herself, she—

A hand tapped her lightly on the shoulder, making her turn around immediately.

— She gasped. It was none other than Lightning. How could she have forgotten? She was behind her all this time. "Onee-san…" It took all of her to call out to Lightning. Then, something came over her. All of a sudden, she really, really, _really _wanted to hold onto the taller woman. As a pillar – just some sort of support. She just _needed _something…

"Oh, man, it's her again,"

"Sorry, _sergeant_, didn't see you there," He lied. "Too busy flirting with little _slut_ over there, y'know?"

"Onee-san, can we just go…?" Vanille couldn't bring her head up to ask the question. All she knew was that she wanted to disappear on the spot.

"Slut?" Lightning ignored the girl's desperate request. More like, she didn't even bother looking down at the redhead. She was simply looking at the men, eyeing them with an uninterested and bored expression. "By any chance, was it you two who gave her this scar?" Lightning wrapped an arm around the girl, her palm rested lightly on her back where the cut was. Unintentionally, she pulled Vanille closer to herself.

Naturally, Vanille's forehead rested on the woman's shoulder, where her strawberry-blonde waves rested. The sweet scent coming from her hair somehow loosened the girl up. She closed her eyes and the tears squeezed past her eyelids, streaming down her flushed cheeks. Her lifeless arms at her sides also moved up, her fingers clenched onto the soldier's white Guardian Corps vest by the waist.

"Yeah, what are you going to do about it?" One of them started to provoke the woman, "You don't have that god damn weapon with you, so how are you going to deal with us today, huh?"

Lightning smirked. "I cannot recall that I needed my weapon to deal with you two last time,"

"Oh, so you're gonna beat us up now, huh? Hurting two innocent civilians… is that really what a soldier of the Guardian Corps is supposed to do? Oh wait, you're not on-duty, so wouldn't that… strip you of your rank for violating the laws or some shit?" He approached the two confidently, his arms crossed. "Are you willing to take that risk?" He whispered into Lightning's ear. "Man… and my wrist still hurts from what you did to me last week…"

She could feel Vanille shake, her head burying more than it possibly could into her shoulder. The man's breath reeked of tobacco – not that she minded the smell, but her personal bubble… it was clearly getting violated. "Are you retarded?" Lightning whispered.

"What was tha—" He was thrown back by a punch, directly in the face, and fell onto the sand. Covering his face with a hand, he started with his teeth gritted, "What the fuck!"

The other man, without thinking twice, ran past his friend, and pounced at the two. Without moving her place, Lightning lifted her leg a bit. The incoming figure couldn't stop himself from crashing his crotch against the woman's knee, and as he fell, an elbow struck his back, making him fall face-flat onto the sand. It was obvious that he went out cold after the last strike.

Lightning let out a huff, "Self-defense." She shrugged her shoulders, "I didn't mean it, sorry." Her sarcasm wasn't amusing to the downed men at all. "But… I do not think it is necessary to lie. After all, there really is no reason for the people from the Guardian Corps to listen to explanations, especially if they're from lowlifes like you two." Getting no response, she gave that infamous glare she possessed to the man whose face was bleeding from her punch, "Now, if you want to get that nose back in place, you'd best stay here. I already contacted the base before all of this happened. They're going to be here any time." Lightning released the girl, but Vanille still had her head hid on her shoulder and fingers clenched onto her vest.

"Fucking woman…" The man wiped the blood off his face, but couldn't stop the red liquid from pouring out of his injured nose.

She smirked again, "I actually had no intention of hurting you two before. I only did so because you admitted so _proudly_ that you were the culprits who gave this girl that cut."

"Onee-san…" Vanille brought her head up, somewhat touched by those simple words.

Lightning pulled back from the girl. She started to walk back, to the direction they came from. "Let's go, Vanille."

Her eyes widened. This was… the first time ever for the soldier to call her by name, and she was more than pleased to hear that. She caught up to the woman, this time confident enough to walk by her side, and not behind her.

* * *

**_Record-breaking update time! Finally something interesting happens! D:_**

**_This chapter turned out to be way lengthier (18 pages omg) than I intended it to be, and I really don't like that. I'll try to keep it shorter for the upcoming chapters. _**

**_Thanks for all the reviews, favourites etc. so far! Keep them coming :)!_**


	5. Empathy

Chapter 5 - Empathy

It was sheer pity, and nothing else. How could there possibly be anything else? Lightning could picture what happened to the girl earlier this afternoon; it was blatantly easy to tell what went on between those thugs and the girl. … But how far did they get?

"If it is okay with you, I'm going to use the shower first,"

She looked down at the girl beside her who just took off her sandals. It was bloody obvious that the smile she was bearing was fake. Her real smile was no way in hell like this – _no way_. It just wasn't right that the girl wasn't… shining… like she usually did. Then there was also her voice; there was always that cheery and high-pitched noise that she so often found annoying… right now, it has turned near deadpan. Taking off her own boots, "Alright, go ahead," Lightning answered simply.

_Should I ask?_

She watched as Vanille walked on ahead, taking the slowest steps ever. She was walking almost robotically – a depressed robot-style. It looked almost like she was unwilling to move away… away from the woman – away from her _presence_. Suddenly, the girl paused. Standing still, Lightning noticed that she was turning around.

"Onee-san," She called weakly.

Lightning looked at her. She has yet to turn on the lights in the apartment; all the light there was in the room was from the stars that shone into the flat through that huge window each and every night. It was a dark blue, white… melancholic… lonely light – all mixed together in the strangest, and yet most beautiful way. The girl's eyes appeared forest green to the woman from their small distance.

Vanille swallowed hard. It was difficult to tell how the woman looked right now, for she was hiding in the shadows, away from the starry lights. "I… about earlier…"

The woman listened.

She clenched her fists. Her muscles stiffened, and she couldn't bring her head up – it felt as if it weighted a ton. "I… I… t-they…"

She stood still and listened.

But a sudden wave of fear washed over her, and Vanille decided that it was best to not talk or think about it. "Never mind," She quickly turned the other way, heading down to the washroom. It was the right decision, yes, because it didn't matter. There was no way that someone as cold as Lightning would be willing to listen. There was no way that stuff would interest her anyway.

Lightning watched as Vanille dragged her feet down the dark hallway, and then turned to enter the washroom. The door closed lightly behind her, and the light went on, peeking underneath the tiny space between the door and the ground. She sighed. It couldn't be helped if the victim herself did not want to talk about it, but still, was she okay with it? Lightning made her way down the same dark hallway, with the thought that just, perhaps, it was best to ask the girl if she was feeling unwell. After all, her smile just now… Lightning couldn't get that depressing and _fake_ smile out of her mind. Already standing directly in front of the door, she actually had no idea what her next step was going to be.

_Knock?_

No, why the hell would she do that? Lightning reached for the doorknob, her palm gripped onto the brass lightly.

_Then why do you care?_

Uncertainty.

_She's nobody to you._

Lightning released the handle. She stepped back quietly – almost hesitantly – in confusion.

_Doesn't matter if she was…_

But then, a surge of determination overcame her; she grabbed onto the doorknob again, this time gripping it tightly, almost as if she were holding onto her gunblade.

… _raped._

Turning on the knob, she swung the door open, hard.

_So why do you care?_

Such intolerable, abrupt, barbaric behaviour… never once has she done it in her life. But she couldn't help it; that was just the way she was – at least, when she's worried. Lightning found the girl leaning against the wall at the end of the room, looking down at her feet, with a hand clenching onto the pink tank top at her chest. It seemed as though she did not care about that rude and sudden intrusion. In fact, it didn't seem like she noticed the woman at all. She walked towards the girl. It was odd; Lightning wasn't really sure what she wanted or was going to do, but she knew that she needed to come closer. She needed to be close to her, otherwise…

_Why not just leave her alone?_

Vanille looked up upon seeing a shadow covering her. She tried her best to remain silent because she did not want to trouble her anymore. It has been far too much. Still, when she caught those blue eyes that are filled with concern – no longer with distance and bitterness – Vanille couldn't help it. She just could not hold it in. The tears lingering in her eyes streamed down her flushed cheeks the moment she blinked, dripping onto the floor below, and her hand that was clenching onto her chest began to claw at her own flesh. Perhaps, subconsciously, she was trying to stop herself from acting so pathetically, especially in front of Lightning. Vanille looked to her side, embarrassed by those miserable tears that were rolling unstoppably down her cheeks.

Lightning knew very well that she was never the type to comfort people. Actually, she has never, _ever_ comforted anyone before. Not even… not even _her…_

The girl knew that she had to break the silence if she did not want the woman to worry. She quickly wiped her tears away with the back of her hands. "Onee-san, sorry, if you need to use the washroom first, I'll let you," She stood up straight and started to head for the door, "I'll just go out—"

Lightning instantly grabbed onto her bicep, clutching onto her skinny arm gently.

"…"

She had no clue why she did that, but she knew that it was necessary. Grunting with impatience, she started to improvise. "Don't hold it in,"

Goosebumps were appearing on her cold skin, Vanille could feel it.

The woman turned to face her. She could feel the girl trembling, and naturally, she just… she just wanted to… somehow…

_Why?_

The girl brought a hand up to cover her mouth to prevent herself from crying too loudly. It was pointless, however, as she was already sobbing.

Lightning just wanted to help her, somehow. This delicate and weak figure triggered emotions within that she has never once felt. Such a foreign feeling got her so curious, she just wanted to discover more of it. Releasing her arm, Lightning's hand hovered by the girl, not sure what to do next.

At that moment, it seemed like the soldier gave her a sign to… to… "Onee-san…" Much like earlier, Vanille hid her face in the woman's shoulder. Her arms wrapped themselves around Lightning's slim waist as she let herself loose; she cried as loudly as she could, as she wanted to.

She had to take a few steps back to maintain her balance. Lightning did not think much, but she naturally held onto the girl. Holding onto her with such delicacy, she was afraid that if she used any unnecessary strength, Vanille would crumble into ashes. Lightning had an arm around the girl's shoulder, and her other hand stroked her smooth orange head with care. It was such a wonder to herself, as she has never done this with anyone before. Lebreau and the rest of her friends always said that she 'sucked at comforting, because all she ever did was sit around and do nothing'. Right now… Lightning couldn't be confident about it, but right now, she was doing _something_, right?

Vanille's legs gave in; she could no longer support herself – it was too tiring. The girl collapsed, but not completely as Lightning has caught her in time. Her face remained hidden in her shoulder as they held onto each other whilst being on their knees. Her sobs have also died down as time went by; she was now trying to regain her breath, but those annoying spasms from her lungs prevented her from doing so.

"Take a deep breath," The woman said, realizing that the girl couldn't breathe.

She did as she was told, but it was too difficult – she couldn't even control her lungs.

Lightning started to rub the girl's back, helping to ease that uncomfortable feeling. It was just basic first aid, really; soldiers do this normally to the wounded that have trouble breathing after inhaling in too much gas, smoke, or anything lethal.

Almost immediately, Vanille felt better. Was it because of what Lightning was doing? Or was it because she felt… _happy_ that she was showing concern? The girl had no idea. All she knew was that she did not want to let go. "Thank you…"

The girl's quiet mumble wasn't really clear, as her face was still hiding in her vest. Certainly, Lightning wasn't expecting to receive her gratitude right now when she was all torn up. She wanted to respond normally, but her weak and – yes, she had to admit – _cute_ voice sent chills of nervousness up her spine. The soldier cleared her throat, "It's nothing." She managed to reply in her usual calm and collected voice.

Vanille pulled back. Her eyes still aching from all the crying, she rubbed the back of her hands against them. "I'm sorry," She started, "… for… y'know, everything," She clasped her hands together on her lap.

"You didn't do anything wrong," The woman replied naturally.

She remained still.

Lightning let out a quiet sigh. She was completely not used to this… this rare occasion where she had to show such a caring – _humiliating –_ side; this side that destroyed her usual cold front, she _hated _it. The unfamiliar feeling of compassion… it was all too much for her. She wanted to pull away – she really did. She wanted to leave the redhead here.

_Why did you come in, then?_

Her body twitched. It wasn't anything special, really. It was just too unreal to leave that poor victim unwatched; she just could _not_ leave her alone.

_Is that all?_

What else could there possibly be? This girl wasn't anyone special to her. They've only known each other for a week. They rarely talked, and she would ignore her whenever she had the chance. It was all just… simply… sheer _pity_.

"They…"

Lightning looked down at her, who was still unwilling to bring her head up.

"… They held me down." Her fingers dug into her thighs, clawing at her white flesh, "I couldn't move,"

The girl's body was shaking. Lightning wanted to tell her to stop if she did not want to talk about it, but a part of her wanted to listen.

Swallowing hard, she continued, "They tried to rip away my clothes, but I resisted – I ran, but they held me back, and they used a knife, they… they cut me – they pinned me down again, and then they… t-they…"

With that, "Hey…" Lightning knew she had to intervene.

"Their hands – they were all over me…" Her eyes shut tightly, she gritted her teeth as she spoke, "… I told them to stop, I begged them… they w-wouldn't, they just kept touching and touching – and I… I couldn't help it, I—"

"Stop,"

Her voice began to rise, "I couldn't break away – I yelled for help, but they dragged me to the end of the dark alley and I couldn't… nobody – I c-couldn't…!"

Lightning held onto the girl's trembling shoulders, shaking her gently to try to get her to listen, "That's enough—"

But it was useless; she continued on, as if the woman's actions weren't reaching her senses, "Those disgusting, repelling, _sickening_ noises I made – I couldn't stop…!" She snapped her head up, her tearful emerald eyes finally visible, "Nobody helped – I screamed and I screamed, but nobody…!"

"Stop!"

"—it's just like that time—!"

… _That time?_

"Vanille!"

She gasped and cut herself off. The heavy tears in her eyes once again streamed down her cheeks, soft dripping sounds could be heard as the droplets hit the floor.

"It's fine," Her grip on the girl's shoulders loosened. She moved a hand up to rest on her orange hair, "If it hurts so much, then don't talk about it." Lightning noticed that her voice has gotten softer – a _whole_ lot softer. It was something done out of reflex, but never has she reacted like _this _if it was merely _reflex_.

"Onee-san…" Vanille's quiet whisper cracked as her breath became uneven again.

And Lightning could not bear to see that face again. Without thinking twice, she pulled the girl to herself, embracing her, hiding her, _shielding _her from those violent memories because she just could not stand seeing the girl with such a depressing face. Such a sad, sombre expression did not belong to Vanille… it did not belong to the cheerful girl. It just wasn't… right…

Driven by surprise, Vanille no longer had the strength to cry. The tears still flowed endlessly out of her eyes, though. But right now, she just wanted to close her eyes and get used to this warmth. It has been a long while, after all, for her to be held like this. She relaxed, letting her weight loose as she leaned into Lightning's soft chest. The woman's heartbeat sounded gently against her ears, and the rhythm of it made her breathe along. She closed her eyes as her arms rewrapped themselves around the woman's waist. "I'm sorry…"

Naturally, she held onto the redhead more securely. "Relax, just close your eyes."

Although she knew that Lightning could not see her face in this position, Vanille smiled at her kind response. Gradually, as time went by, her eyelids no longer had the will to open up. She fell asleep in the woman's arms, and vaguely, she could feel herself getting carried and laid down on a familiar, soft, and comfortable bed.

* * *

"_Make her take them off,"_

"_No…"_

"_If she resists, then do it by force,"_

"_Please, no…"_

_The man nodded. He grabbed the girl who was hiding in the corner by the wrist, forcefully dragging her up, "Come obediently,"_

_She could see the disgusting smirk on his face. She fought, she pulled, she resisted, "Please stop—!" But it didn't make a difference._

"_Stop squirming," The man grunted impatiently, "Or I'll kill them all,"_

"…"

"… _Right in front of you."_

_Her body trembled uncontrollably. _

"_Or better, I can do __**this **__right in front of them," He leaned in to whisper into her ear._

_A tear rolled down her cheek. Her muscles tensed up as the man's large hands traced her inner thighs. "No…"_

"_And then I will deal with their pathetic lives."_

"_No…"_

"_How do you like that?"_

"No!" The girl screamed and snapped her eyes open. She immediately sat up on the bed and looked around cautiously, _anxiously_, trying to figure out where she was. Her cones unable to adapt to the light of the rising sun from the large window, all she could see was a fog of white brightness. Scared and unable to see properly, she stood up and struggled to walk straight. The girl literally had to feel her way towards the door. She reached for the doorknob, turned it, and pulled the door back with force. Vanille actually had no idea where she was going or what she wanted to do; she just needed to run and escape from that haunting nightmare. She ran into the hallway, clueless as to which way she was heading, until something grabbed onto her wrist from behind.

Afraid of facing whatever grabbed her, she refused to turn around. She started trembling, very much like the way she did in the dream.

Lightning was about to open her mouth to say something—

"Don't…"

She narrowed her eyebrows and paused upon hearing the girl speak.

"I… I don't want this anymore…" Vanille continued to mumble, "… I-I'll let you do whatever you want with me, so please…"

Her grip on the girl's wrist loosened.

"Please don't… don't hurt them…"

Lightning could swear; when she said those words in such a weak and helpless tone… she just wanted to… _wanted to_… "Turn around," Lightning said as simply as possible, as she was trying to hide the fact that she was getting quite concerned.

Vanille did so slowly, though she still was unable to bring her head up.

The woman sighed. Her fingers reached for the girl's chin, lifting it up so that their eyes could meet. Upon doing so, Vanille's scared expression immediately softened. "It's me," Lightning started.

She blinked, and instantly relaxed. Letting out a deep sigh, or more like a breath of relief, she crumbled to the ground, landing hard on her knees.

Lightning, being unable to catch her in time, knelt down with the girl, unsure of what to do next.

"Sorry," Vanille said, "That was… rather rude of me." She looked up at the woman, their eye level meeting, she smiled forcefully. "I didn't mean to run out like that. It was just the dream – it was so… so real…" The woman's straight and uninterested expression made Vanille realize that there really was no point in explaining. She let out a sigh again, this time quieter, "S-sorry…"

Silence filled the air. The light from the living room shone into the hallway, and faint purple, green bruise marks were visible on the girl's skinny arms. Lightning twitched at the sight; gently, she reached for her.

"Ah!"

The pain in her voice sent electric currents up the woman's spine. She shivered at the sound subtly as she observed those bruises. Whatever happened, whatever those thugs did to her – whether they got _that _far or not – all Lightning knew was that she wanted to help her. "Did it hurt?"

Vanille, still recovering from those shocking spasms of pain, looked at the woman, curious as to why she even showed concern for her. Swallowing hard, the dryness in her throat prevented her voice from projecting clearly, so she shook her head instead. As Lightning continued to massage her arm to relieve the pain, she bit onto her lower lip to stop herself from making any noises – this peaceful silence felt good, too good to be ruined. To draw her attention away from what the woman was doing to her, her eyes moved up to Lightning's face. The same, cold, and expressionless face she saw on the first few days of their encounter, to yesterday and right now; it was the same, cold, and expressionless face, but Vanille discovered something… just something different. It was probably there all along; it's just that she has never looked close _enough_.

She released her arm. "Is your wound hurting?"

Dumbfounded, the girl simply shook her head once again.

Lightning narrowed her eyebrows, "Let me check, just in case." She stood up to walk around the girl, and then sat down behind her. "If you're fine with it,"

She nodded lightly.

Naturally, almost as if she were working in the Fifth Arc a few years ago, the woman lifted Vanille's tank top from behind. This action was done many times in a day when she had to check on the soldiers' wounds. It was all the same right now. "You haven't bled at all. That's good," She released the loose fabric, letting it fall back in place. "Go take a shower. Make sure you take off the bandages first. I'm going to wrap you in new ones later." Lightning stood up and walked back around the girl, reaching a hand out to her.

She took it and got up easily. "Thanks…" The girl straightened her shirt out, "But… onee-san, don't you have to go to work today?"

"I took the day off." Lightning answered.

Vanille widened her eyes. Yesterday, didn't Lebreau and Gadot say something about this woman being a workaholic…? They said that she was known for never taking day-offs no matter what important events or cases come up—

"Don't get the wrong idea," Seeing the look in her eyes, she had to interrupt. The soldier narrowed her eyebrows, "I just thought it wasn't right to leave someone like you alone."

Touched, and too embarrassed to face her directly, Vanille looked away. She fiddled with her fingers nervously as she tried to think of a way to break this awkward tension. Unbeknownst to herself, her cheeks were flushed red for _god knows what_ reason, and she couldn't understand why her heart was pounding so quickly. Who knew that Lightning had such a soft side to her? Forget about what happened last night, but to actually show such compassion through words? This was something unexpected. Dropping her hands to her sides, Vanille took a deep breath, "Onee-san,"

"What?"

"About yesterday,"

The woman stood still.

"… I don't know how to thank you enough," She stuttered as her cheeks got even redder.

Lightning crossed her arms and tilted her head a bit. Well, the truth was, she was just glad that the girl was no longer crying or going through mental breakdowns. "You've said it a few times already."

Vanille swallowed. "W-well… yeah, but, still…"

Dropping her arms to her sides, Lightning walked closer towards the girl. "What's wrong?" She bent down and pressed a palm against her forehead, "Your face is unnaturally red," Then, her other hand moved up to feel her own, comparing their temperatures, "Do you have a fever?"

"…" Her body stiffened; she couldn't move – she couldn't possibly move a muscle. Beads of sweat grew out of her skin as blood shot upwards to her head. It was getting stuffier and stuffier, and it wasn't because of the morning heat.

"You might be infected from the wound after all…" The soldier said, "Let me take off your bandages – it might be because they're dirty or something. The germs must have gotten you sick,"

As the woman pulled back, Vanille let out a sharp gasp. She quickly covered her mouth upon hearing herself make that noise. The girl quickly glanced up at the woman, who was bearing a worrisome look, and then she looked back down on the hardwood-floor. "I-I'm fine!" She exclaimed breathlessly.

"…"

Clutching onto her shirt, Vanille could feel her heart pounding hard, _violently_ against her chest. The sound was almost audible in the narrow hallway – or maybe it was just her paranoia. What was this strange feeling? Why was she so scared? Why couldn't she look up at the woman?

"_Are you Light's new prey?"_

Gadot's words from last night suddenly echoed in her head. She tried to remain calm, but it was obvious that she was shaken by the surprise her conscious gave her. She did not want to check, but right now, to Lightning, she should be looking pretty stupid. "_Prey? What 'prey'!"_ Vanille scolded herself. It was just a joke, why would it come up now? Why was she even thinking about it? Why…?

"Erm… are you okay?" Lightning finally asked.

"Y-yes!" She gasped and turned around to run for the washroom, "I'm fine!" She yelled as she closed the door behind herself as if a freak were chasing her.

"… Huh?" The woman was more than confused. She walked up to the door and knocked, "Uh… are you sure?"

"Yes!" The girl squeaked, "I j-just… just need to go to the washroom… b-badly!"

"Okay…"

_What was that all about?_

* * *

Vanille came out with her hair untied, and a towel dangling on her head as she dried her damp hair. She made her way to the living room where she was expecting her host. Indeed, the strawberry-blonde was sitting on the usual sofa, going through her usual routine with the TV at its lowest volume while she flipped through a magazine.

"Done?"

"Yeah…" She said softly.

"Let me see,"

"… W-what?"

"Turn around."

"O-oh, yes – uh…" She did so quickly, crossing her legs on the soft seat as she turned sideways so that Lightning could get a better view.

Lifting the girl's tank top up quickly, "I don't think it's necessary to wrap you up completely anymore," The woman grabbed a large, rectangular cotton pad, large enough to cover Vanille's cut, and strips of bandage-tapes from the medical kit she took out earlier.

"So… I can wear a bra again?"

Lightning choked on her tongue, "You… weren't wearing one yesterday…?"

"Well, I wasn't after you wrapped me up…"

"What the hell?"

"I couldn't have… The bandages were in the way…" Vanille said quietly. Then, the look on her face became more serious, "Onee-san, you would have done the same thing!"

She rolled her eyes as she finished patching up Vanille's wound. "Unbelievable," Lightning mumbled. "But…" She let out a low breath, "… at least you're feeling better now."

Yes, that was true, Vanille realized. Through that strange… interaction she had with the woman before she went for a shower, and that silly conversation about her bra – it helped clear away those disgusting memories. Well, at least it would be temporary. The same dreams would come back to remind her of _those_ events again, as usual. No matter how hard she tried to run away, they always caught up; they would always bind her down, making it impossible for her to live normally, peacefully. Still, she needed to keep this up, no matter what it took. The only way to hide from this was to put on a happy, carefree façade. "So," Vanille turned around and started, "Now that you know I'm fine, you don't have to spend the whole day looking after me." She grinned as Lightning sighed, "What should we do?"

"I'm going to sleep." She replied immediately in a bored manner.

"What!"

Lightning reached for the remote and turned off the power to the TV.

"Don't waste your day-off like this, let's go out!"

The strawberry-blonde grunted as she combed through her soft pink bangs with her fingers messily, "There's a reason why I don't go out, you know?"

Vanille pouted, "Because everyone recognizes you? Or is it because your exes appear everywhere you go?"

She glared at her briefly, and then calmed down a bit to stop herself from ranting on her. "It gets annoying."

"Hehhh…" The girl hugged her knees together, she rested her chin on the hard bone, "So what Gadot said was true… onee-san _is_ very popular with the people in town…" She chuckled, "No wonder he's jealous…"

"Just to let you know," Lightning started softly, "I never said yes to any of them."

"… Eh?"

She rolled her eyes. Seeing no point in repeating something so unimportant, she crossed her arms and looked into the black screen of the TV. "… Forget it," She stood up. "Help yourself if you need anything." Lightning finished as she headed down the hallway.

"Wha – onee-san, you're really going to sleep?"

"Uh huh. Oh, and," She turned around, "You're okay with me sleeping on the bed, right?"

Vanille blinked. "Y-yeah, of course! It's yours after all!" She laughed.

"Yes, how did I not figure that out?" Lightning mocked.

* * *

Having nothing else to do, the girl decided to head out into the streets once again. Whether it was because she wanted to shop or explore, she had no idea, however. Though, it was quite odd that she did not feel scared or traumatized or anything relating to fear after the incident from yesterday; as weird as it sounded, she was feeling… well, happier. It was probably because of the soldier – Vanille realized that she really needed to thank her somehow, even if the woman kept brushing it off. Perhaps buying her _something_ would help, but she should first find out when her birthday is—

"Hey, Vanille!"

The girl looked to the source of the sound. She must have been walking for quite a while now, as she was standing on the empty western beach, right in front of the bar from last night. "Oh! Hi!" She waved happily as she walked towards Gadot.

The muscular man rested his elbows on the fence of the patio. He looked down at the redhead and grinned, "Did you miss me so much that you decided to come and pay me a visit before we close for the day?"

Vanille giggled, "Sure, let's go with that,"

"Don't play along with him, girl, you might give him the wrong idea."

She tiptoed to catch the sight of Lebreau behind Gadot's huge figure, who was locking up the door to the bar. As the raven-haired woman approached, Vanille let out a grin, "Aw, there's nothing wrong with him being a bit friendly!"

"Yeah, even she's fine with it," He nudged at the barmaid's arm playfully. "Hey, what's with your arms? They're all bruised up. Are you okay?"

"O-oh, I'm fine. It's nothing to worry about – I just tripped," Still smiling, Vanille changed the subject, "Anyway, you guys sure work hard…" She looked up at the cloudless blue sky, "To close this _late_,"

Gadot shrugged his shoulders, "Well, this is a night bar after all. People don't come at eight in the morning, y'know?" He grinned. "So anyway, I wanted to ask you this since yesterday, but couldn't because Light was around…"

"Hmm? What is it?" She clasped her hands behind herself.

"What do you think about her?"

"… W-what?" Vanille blinked.

The man gripped onto the black metal fence and leaned back, "You know…" Suddenly, in a flash, he bent back down, his face dangerously close to Vanille's, "What makes you attracted to her?"

"…!" The same feeling from earlier came back; blood once again rushed up to her head, and this time, she started to feel dizzy.

Lebreau sighed and grabbed onto the furry hood of Gadot's blue vest, "Okay – that's as far as you're going to go,"

"Ow, hey!"

"Sorry Vanille, don't mind him, but he asks the same question to every single person who comes in contact with Light."

He pulled away from the woman and tugged his vest back down, fixing it back in shape. "I'm just curious, man! I mean, she gets _everyone_. Like, literally everyone!" His brown eyes caught the girl's emerald ones, "Surely, she's gotten you by now, am I right?"

"W-well, I-I…" She tried to look at everything but the man, since she was really bad at lying.

"Oh? Blushing now, are we?" He grinned and leaned in closer. "Come on, don't deny it! You're obviously attracted to her! Tell me what she does, how she does it, and when she does it. I'm going to note it all down, and for sure, I'll get a date."

"I'll tell you what _you_ need: looks." Lebreau interrupted sarcastically.

He glared at the barmaid, the fiery colour of his hair almost reflecting his mood right now.

Vanille, meanwhile, stood there as thoughts of the woman processed through her mind. Surely, she couldn't deny that she wasn't attracted to her, but she couldn't put a finger on _what_ it was that made her feel this way.

"Come on, Vanille! Is it her looks? Her cold front? The fact that she's such a good fighter? What is it?" Then, unexpectedly, his eyes widened, "W-wait… could it be… she's into S&M, and t-that's why your arms are all bruised up—!"

"N-no! No! It's nothing like that!" Vanille shook her head and waved her arms rapidly.

"O-okay…" He was unconvinced, but knowing the righteous Lightning, it wasn't possible that S&M would be what she enjoyed. "Then… what is it?"

The girl calmed herself down before tapping her chin thoughtfully with a finger. Certainly, her beauty plays a big role; her cold and bitter personality brings out the mysteriousness within her, making her more… appealing, and the way she beat those guys up last night really made her look cool. "Well… onee-san is… really nice…" She muttered.

"HA!" Gadot exclaimed, throwing both Lebreau and Vanille back, "See! I told you you're attracted to Light—wait, what! Nice? _Nice!_?"

Still blushing, the girl turned away to nod.

"Are you kidding me! Light is everything _but_ nice!"

The girl turned back to the man and pouted, "But onee-san _is_ really nice…" She said quietly, a small smile appeared on her face, "I… I haven't been treated so nicely for a long time…"

"Aw, that's cute." The barmaid commented as Vanille started spacing out; clearly, the girl was thinking of a certain Guardian Corps sergeant.

"Uh – um…" The redhead shook herself back to her senses, "Sorry… that must've been… odd…"

"Oh, no, not at all." Lebreau laughed, "You're not the first one who's gotten so entranced by Ms. Lightning Farron's presence,"

Gadot rolled his eyes with jealousy. "Tell me about it,"

"N-not the first one…?" Vanille repeated with confusion and concern.

"Relax! I'm not saying that Light is a player," She couldn't stop chuckling at the girl's innocent reactions – it was just too cute to resist, "Rather, Light never said yes to any of them. Actually, now that I think about it, _she_ was always the one getting pursued, and never did she pursue _anyone_. That's… that's kinda wicked." Lebreau cleared her throat, "Anyway, what I'm getting at is that she always shook them off and turned them down after a while. Like, she never took them seriously. Personally, I think she just hasn't found the _right_ person yet."

The girl was paying full attention and listening closely. "Right… person…?"

Again, the barmaid laughed at Vanille's response. She continued, as reassuringly as possible, "I mean, I'm sure Light's okay with starting relationships. It's just that she hasn't found anyone suitable for herself. Because, honestly, if she had, then I think the town would be talking about it. Did I mention that Light's ridiculously popular, despite her quietness?"

"Y-yeah… that much I know…" Vanille replied nervously.

"Good," She placed her hands at her hips, "Knowing that you have competition, it'll act as a boost."

The girl blinked cluelessly, "Boost…?"

Lebreau smirked. "Heh, don't worry about it." Her gaze shifted to someone several metres behind the girl. "Oh, look who it is?"

Having an idea, Vanille spun around. Sure enough, it was the one and only Lightning. The woman looked like she just got out of bed, with an outfit so simple – a light purple, almost lilac, coloured zip-up hoodie that stretched to her upper thighs, zipped up to her lower abdominal section. Inside, she was wearing a black tank top inside that ended just above her bellybutton, making her silver naval piercing visible. The hoodie stretched so much that it nearly covered the khaki short shorts she wore underneath. Completed with a pair of sandals, her long, white legs made her look like a model as she approached the group. Before Vanille knew it, the woman was right beside her. "Onee-san!" She called with a smile.

"Yo, Light," Gadot greeted, "Day-off?"

Vanille giggled.

The woman nodded briefly before glaring at the girl. "Why are you out here?" She asked her.

"There's nothing else to do at home," She answered happily. "Onee-san, didn't you say you wanted to sleep?"

Lightning stuffed her hands into the hoodie's pockets. "Too bright, couldn't."

"Hehe, of course," Vanille grinned. "Then… do you want to go for breakfast? Since you can't sleep…"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Might as well," She replied with her usual cold tone.

The girl prolonged her grin.

Lebreau smirked at their interaction. It was really easy to tell what's going on between the two, and it was rather pleasant to watch this. But being as cunning as she was, she knew when it was appropriate to stop. The barmaid faked a cough to catch everyone's attention, "Well, it's nice that we're gathering again, but we're getting kind of tired, so…" She grabbed onto the man's hooded vest again.

"Huh?" Gadot turned to the barmaid.

"What? Don't you want to go for breakfast together?" Vanille said.

The man nodded his head, "Y-yeah, I'm kind of hungry, so—ack!" He was cut short as the barmaid dragged him by the hood.

"Well, that's what you get for working through the night! Yawn!" She stretched her arms, "Tired, bye!" Smiling, she waved to the girls before walking down the patio, onto the beach. Gadot was still getting dragged behind her, his feet making a trail on the sand with the direction they were heading towards. It seemed like he couldn't talk as Lebreau was kind of… suffocating him with his own vest.

As Vanille stood there to scratch her cheek, oblivious to what the two were plotting, Lightning crossed her arms and pursed her lips with annoyance. Lebreau was always like this; whenever she has the opportunity to spend time alone with someone, she would conveniently find some excuse to leave her, making it extremely awkward for herself. Though… looking at the redhead, it did not seem like she understood the _real _point for the barmaid to leave so suddenly. Lightning sighed. At least this girl wasn't as obnoxious as those people.

"Onee-san?" Vanille called upon seeing the woman's troubled expression. "If you're tired, we can go home. I can still make you breakfast or something," She suggested. The girl reckoned that Lightning said earlier that she did not like to go out too much, as she might see her exes. But… did that not contradict the fact that she was out here right now? Coming out just because she couldn't sleep? What…?

"Doesn't matter," She shoved her hands back in her pockets, "We'll do whatever you want."

… Could it be that… that Lightning was… _worried_? Vanille's mind continued to come up with different conclusions, but none of them really matched the soldier's usual bitter personality, so she was getting herself more and more confused.

"Well?" She eyed the girl uninterestedly, waiting for an answer.

"Uh, uh…" Vanille started to stutter nervously. Too caught up with those thoughts, she must have been spacing out like a weirdo just now, "Yeah! L-let's go…!" She grinned and skipped on ahead.

Lightning raised a brow. It was nice to see her behaving so lively again, but what was all of that about? Slowly, she followed the girl, closely behind her. It still annoyed her though, the fact that she wasn't able to sleep. When the girl headed out – once the sound of the front door closing reached her ears, she couldn't close her eyes anymore. The only way to get that uncomfortable feeling out of the way was to come and look for her.

_Why, though? What the hell was the point?_

She stared at the redhead's back, trying hard to think, but was still unsure of the answer.

_Worried?_

No… there was no way that she could… _possibly _be worried, right…?

_Then what? Why?_

Perhaps it was because… Lightning picked up her pace enough so she could walk right beside Vanille. Upon doing so, the girl looked up at her and gave her a smile – the usual sweet smile. Which reminded her: yeah, it was… just _because_.

_Of that smile?_

Yeah. She took a glimpse at the redhead, who was still bearing that cheerful expression. "_Yeah, probably… most likely."_ Lightning just wanted to see her smile.

* * *

**_Err… yeah… two pages less than last time, but it's still a progress, right? Not __as __long lol._**

**_How'd you like Vanille's mindrape lol (writing it was a lot of fun) :P_**

**_Please continue to reviewwwwwwwww :D_**


	6. Take Care

Chapter 6 - Take Care

"I can't believe this."

Vanille giggled.

"I can't believe I actually got dragged into this," Lightning's frown became bigger. "How often do I get freaking day-offs?"

"Oh, stop complaining, Light-san," Maqui laughed, "You can easily get day-offs anytime you want; the problem is whether or not you are _willing_ to ask for them!"

"That's what I've been telling her!" Gadot commented as he tossed the volleyball in his hand, catching it with a finger and then spinning it, "She's_ way_ too hardworking for her own good."

The soldier rolled her eyes, "Oh, please. What else is there to do other than work in this boring town?"

"Chilling with us!" Yuj answered easily, almost cutting the woman off. "We haven't played volleyball together for a while now, and besides, we're free all the time – that is… in the afternoon, when we're not working."

Lebreau rolled her eyes, "Pft, _not_ working?" She spat, "You, Maqui, and Gadot rarely come to work; the whole bar is practically managed by myself. I don't even know why I hired you guys."

The boy scratched his deep teal-coloured hair, "H-hey, I actually come to work when I can. You know that I haven't been coming lately because of exams!" He turned to the blonde boy, "Say something!"

Maqui laughed nervously as he fixed his goggles above his head, "Erm… yeah, we've been studying."

"Studying!" The barmaid scolded, "You were out building that god damn vehicle of yours for the past few weeks! And you," She turned to Yuj angrily, "_You_ have been out flirting with pretty tourists again, haven't you?"

"Oh man—"

"Look," Lightning cut in, "Don't mean to be rude, but can we just get this over with?"

"Aw, c'mon, Light!" Gadot rested his elbow on the woman's shoulder. His weight didn't seem like a huge deal to her, but strangely, the soldier didn't brush him off. She simply stood still and avoided giving him unnecessary eye contact. "Don't be such a party pooper. I'm sure even little miss, here, would want to chill with more people more often,"

Yuj stepped in, "That's right Light-san," Walking beside Vanille, he winked at her, almost flirtatiously, and turned back to the woman, "You can't always hog her to yourself. Isn't that right, Vanille?"

"Err…" She chuckled nervously, "I don't mind, really," Glimpsing at the woman, she realized that the soldier was literally glaring at the boy beside her. If Yuj wasn't so busy looking at the redhead right now and caught those dangerous eyes, he would faint on the spot – there was no doubt about that. Vanille brought a hand to her mouth as an attempt to hide her laughter. It was just funny to see Lightning getting teased by her friends so playfully all the time. Being the serious woman as she was, talking or fighting back would be too troublesome for her, and that was why she would rather keep quiet and simply glare. Though, it was nice to think that despite having such a cold personality, Lightning was still able to have cheerful and fun friends such as these four. As the woman's gaze shifted to the girl, Vanille noticed that her expression softened a bit, but still, when their eyes met, Lightning quickly turned to look away.

_She's shy._

"Well then," The barmaid, already standing in front of the net, crossed her arms and began, "Shall we start dividing the teams? Anymore nonsense, Ms. Farron right here might actually ditch us,"

Gadot continued to throw the ball into the air as if he were shooting a basketball, "Doesn't matter what team I'm on, but there's no way in hell you and Light are going to be on the same team, otherwise it'd get so damn unfair."

Maqui nodded his head almost fearfully, "Yeah, it was so brutal last time…"

Vanille blinked. The boys who were trembling in fear really brought her curiosity up, "What's wrong? Are they really good?"

"_Really_ good!" Yuj choked, "Tch, no way. They're freaking _unbeatable_! Lebreau was the captain of the volleyball team in her high school years—"

"Hey, I'm only twenty! Don't make it sound like I'm thirty years old!"

He rolled his eyes and went on, "… So that makes her godly already. And Light – well, you know her. She's good at pretty much everything, so there's really no reason to explain…" He paused to look at the strawberry-blonde, who had her arms crossed. He swallowed and whispered to the girl's ear, "Even so, those two have absolutely no teamwork at all when they're together, so it's all about raw destructive power and individual skills."

"Hmm, really?" Vanille smiled as she looked at the court. "Then, onee-san!" She called, immediately catching the woman's attention. "You wouldn't mind if I'm on your team, right?"

"U-uh… Vanille…"

"It's fine," She interrupted Yuj, "Just because onee-san doesn't have any teamwork with Lebreau-san, it doesn't mean that she won't have any with other people, right?"

"Like… like I said…" He whispered hesitantly.

"Doesn't matter," Lightning suddenly said, "Let's just get this over with." She shook her head and walked to one side of the court. Taking off her sandals, she threw them out of the court and stood still to wait for the rest of the people to make their decisions.

Hearing her answer, Vanille gladly took off her sandals as well and made her way to the woman's side.

The three boys eyed each other uncomfortably. Obviously being either with Lightning and Lebreau would mean that they would have to play at full strength since both women were literally volleyball Olympiads. Though, the trio had to admit that they would rather be with Lebreau – at least they were closer to her and… sure, she was scary as well, but she wasn't dead _silent_.

"What the hell are you guys doing! Hurry up over there!" Lebreau yelled.

"C-coming!" Gadot sprinted towards the barmaid's side.

"Wait, I'm coming too!" Yuj called right afterwards.

"What… what the—!" Being the only one left, Maqui quickly grabbed onto the teal-haired boy before he could walk any further. He took a step closer to whisper into his ear, "Dude, I thought you wanted to be with Vanille-san! Why the hell are you ditching her now?"

The taller boy let out a nervous laugh as he scratched the back of his head, "Hehe… well, you see… I'd be with her if Lightning wasn't on her team. But now…" He pointed to the strawberry-blonde, who was looking as impatient as ever, "… I think it's best if we just start the game already…" Without warning, he shook the blonde's hand off himself and sped off to the other side of the court, leaving Maqui helpless. Unwillingly, he dragged his feet towards Lightning and Vanille.

The redhead greeted the boy with her usual smile, "Hope we win lots!"

Immediately, the uneasiness and uncertainty dropped from the bottom of his heart upon hearing her cheerful words. "Un, yeah!" He nodded happily and answered.

"Me, Lebreau, and Yuj versus Light, little miss, and Maqui…" Gadot recapped as he tossed the ball into the air repeatedly. "Alright, that seems fair enough," He started to whisper, "Though, it seems like Light's going to be the one to do everything…" Smirking, he caught the ball, "Little miss! I'll go easy on you, don't worry!"

Vanille tilted her head in confusion.

"H-hey, you need to watch me too!" Maqui yelled, trying to remind his friend on the other side that he wasn't that skilled of a volleyball player.

The muscular man ignored his younger friend's request, as he was too busy observing the opposing team's positioning. Vanille and Maqui were up front, and Lightning was standing at the back. So… the logical thing to do was to direct the ball to either of the two in the front – that is, if he did not want to lose the first point… or, more specifically, if he did not want Lightning to take the first strike. "Okay, here I go, little miss! Underhand serve!" And he gave a weak hit at the ball.

To the girl, the ball came at her in an almost… sort of _slow_ motion way. When the man said that he would go easy on her, she didn't expect him to mean _this_ easy. With ease, she jumped up at the ball, subsequently spiking it right back at the man's foot.

"What the—" Gadot dropped his jaws. Along with the rest of his teammates, he was caught speechless as they turned to look at the girl. Was that Vanille! Was that the bubbly redhead that just spiked the ball with such power!

"Wow! Vanille-san that was incredible!" Maqui exclaimed enthusiastically, "It's like you play a lot or something – d-do you also happen to be on a team or something!"

The girl stuck out her tongue shyly and giggled, "No, no, of course not!" She waved her hands as she denied, "That was a fluke, really." She purposely turned her head a little to take a glimpse on the strawberry-blonde. Vanille didn't know why, but she really hoped that the woman was impressed. She would be delighted if she showed a _tiny _bit of emotion over this. At the corner of her eyes, she could only see Lightning looking at her. With what kind of emotion however, she could not see – she could not bring the courage to turn around and see.

The barmaid spun around to glare at Gadot, who still had his jaws dropped. "What the hell was that lame serve?"

He blinked several times before realizing that the woman was talking to him. "I-I didn't expect that – _you _couldn't have expected that! I just wanted to go easy on her, 'cause y'know… she looks so damn small and weak and…"

"Well, apparently, she's not," Lebreau said in a dead-serious voice. "And you, why didn't you block!"

"How could I have! There wasn't even time for me to react…" Yuj muttered.

"Ugh, whatever," She walked to pick up the ball and threw it to the other side of the net, "Your move!"

Vanille caught the ball easily, "Thank you," She said and made her way to the corner of the court. It was a natural reaction; her eyes followed Lightning when she moved with the rotation. Vanille was hoping that she would look back at her, maybe even for a brief moment, because she wanted some sort of encouragement from her. Even just a glimpse would be enough. Sadly, the woman just walked on forward, never using even a millisecond to glance at the girl. As upsetting as it was, Vanille did not want to look disappointed – it would bring down Maqui's ego, after all. Standing at the serving area, her fingers tapped at the white volleyball lightly.

_Maybe she will look at you if you did a better job?_

"Vanille-san? Are you okay?" The blonde turned around to ask.

She looked up and shook her head. "Sorry, I was just spacing out." Vanille held the ball with one hand, "But I…" She took one last look at Lightning, "… I realized that I've never done an overhand serve before."

"Huh…?"

"Let's try it, shall we?" She winked at the boy. Taking a few steps back, she threw the ball into midair, and jumped to make a perfect overhand serve.

"Ohhh shit!" Gadot cursed, or more appropriately, cried to relieve his amazement as the ball blasted straight towards him. He managed to block it in time, thus setting it into the air. "Get it!" He yelled.

Lebreau got in position and jumped to do a spike of her own.

"Tch," Lightning clicked her tongue angrily, knowing that it was impossible to stop the barmaid's blow since she wasn't in the suitable position as she was too up front, and would never make it in time to run back—

Vanille dove at the ball from behind, saving it before it hit the ground, "Onee-san!"

She reacted instantly after the girl called her, but realized that she did so because the redhead was directing the ball to her. Accidentally, she set the ball for the boy, and out of luck, Maqui managed to spike it towards the other side.

Yuj, surprised once again, failed to receive the ball.

"Dude, Lebreau, did you see that!" Maqui spiked… a-and Light made a pass…!"

"God damn it, I know!" She spat. "I can't believe this." She looked to the opposing team. Vanille and Maqui were giving each other high fives' happily as Lightning stood there, looking somewhat shocked. Obviously, the redhead's presence was making a huge difference for the soldier; if it wasn't because of her call, she would never have made that pass. Usually, when the ball went for Lightning, she would either hit it if it was within her reach, or ignore it if it wasn't. That was the reason why she was 'good'. Perhaps this was a good thing for the strawberry-blonde, Lebreau thought; Vanille might be able to… open her up a bit. She combed through her raven locks in amusement as she noticed something entertaining: Vanille was staring hard at Lightning, and the poor girl was getting no response as the woman was looking elsewhere. "Oh, Light, you are so dense." Lebreau shook her head at the expressionless woman. She was standing still like a model with a hand at her hip, waiting for the next service, "Too dense for your own good, my friend."

Gadot was slightly disturbed by the barmaid's thinking out loud voice. "What are you doing, talking to yourself?"

She ignored the man's question.

"Service!" Called Vanille on the other side. She finally got Maqui to stop pouring her those countless praises so that they could get back into the game. Tossing the ball into the air, she hit it hard, and sent it to the other side of the net. This time, the volleyball captain on the opposing team received it easily, as she was no longer taking her lightly. Setting it for Yuj, the barmaid directed and instructed him into preforming a proper and powerful spike. Vanille watched the white ball coming back at her; she readied herself, about to hit it—

"_Do you really think you can run away?"_

"Eh…?" The girl dropped her arms. The sound of the voice sent chills down her spine, because… because that voice… it was—

"Vanille-san, watch out!" Maqui yelled.

The ball came at Vanille with speed – it was a spike after all – it hit her hard on the head, and she was thrown back. The girl tried to take a few dizzy steps in balancing herself, but she ended up tumbling onto the sand.

Lightning was the first to react. She ran – yes – she literally ran towards the girl and threw herself down beside her. About to ask her if she was alright, the rest of the crew interrupted as they gathered around.

Being the one to hit her, Yuj started to apologize instantly, "Vanille, I'm so sorry," He knelt down in front of the redhead. "Are you okay?"

"_Don't even try anymore."_

Her body began to tremble. She dug her fingers into the warm white sand, it was done out of self-comfort – she believed that it would somehow just… stop herself from behaving so strangely. Perhaps it would even stop that voice from resonating… but it was getting clearer and louder…

Getting no response, the boy tried again, "Hey… Vanille?"

"_Who do you think you are?"_

The sound burned her ears. Vanille shook her head rapidly before mumbling, "I'm… I'm fine…" Then, she looked up to give the boy a smile.

"_What gives you the fucking right to run?"_

Lightning's eyebrows furrowed. Vanille wasn't being her usual self – that wasn't even a real smile. She was shaking in fear, very much like that night when she cried in her arms. Lightning knew what was going on; she had to get Vanille out of here.

"It was a pretty strong hit…" Yuj continued, "here, let me take a look at that," He reached to move her orangey bangs—

The strawberry-blonde widened her eyes. She felt the need, the _urge_ to push that boy's hand away from Vanille. She had to stop him before he could touch her. It was like a large amount of hot, boiling blood shooting out of her heart, pumping into each and every vein in her body. It felt exactly like that, and her hand flashed towards his wrist, arguably at light-speed; she clutched onto it with full strength, preventing him from reaching – from _touching_ – the girl's head. Then, she couldn't stop herself from giving Yuj that deadly glare.

_Don't touch her._

"Ah – ow!" Light-san… w-what are you…!" He whimpered in pain, but immediately shut himself up as his eyes met hers'. Even so, it was impossible for him to break free; the woman's grip was like hardened concrete – if he tried to move by force, he was afraid that he might tear his own hand off.

"Oh shit…" Gadot scratched the back of his head. This was getting kind of violent, even to a brute like him.

Knowing the reason behind Lightning's sudden act of seriousness, Lebreau knew she had to intervene, "Light," She called, "Let go. You're going to break his wrist."

It was like she couldn't hear her friend. Her dangerous azure eyes were focussing so much at Yuj, she was using so much concentration that it was like she was in her own little dimension. All she knew was that she had to prevent that hand from reaching Vanille, because… because nobody—

"Onee-san…"

The soft voice acted like a chime that pulled her back into reality. She blinked several times before turning to the redhead.

Vanille placed a hand on Lightning's that was grabbing onto the boy's wrist. "Onee-san," She called again, "I'm fine,"

No way in hell did that sound reassuring. In fact, it only made her worry more. Even her tone of voice was different. All of a sudden, she released the boy and took Vanille's hand, "Come with me," She ordered simply and pulled her up. Dragging her away from the volleyball court, the two left without saying anything more.

With both the woman and the girl no longer close enough, Gadot figured that he could start talking. He shrugged his shoulders, "Well, what the hell was that?" He crouched down to Yuj, who was sitting by his feet. "You okay, man? That looked awfully painful."

Maqui, likewise, did the same thing and knelt down beside the teal-haired boy. "I'm surprised your hand is still here. I-I mean, more so than the fact that it isn't broken or anything,"

"Pft, _anything_! Dude, look at this! It's all freaking bruised up!" He shoved his lifeless hand in front of the blonde. "And why did she suddenly—"

"Well, that's what you get for coming close to her property," Lebreau cut in casually.

Yuj narrowed his eyebrows with annoyance, "What are you talking about? Her property? Since when! That's total bullsh—" He paused. Gradually, his expression changed from being angered to shocked, "W-wait, what!" He started to tug on his hair. Even his jaw was dropped, "Oh shit! You're joking me! Aw, damn it, no! That's not fair!"

"That's what I'm telling you," The barmaid laughed, "Just give it up."

Maqui, oblivious as to what the hell the two were talking about, turned to stare at Gadot, "Am I the only one who doesn't know what they're talking about!"

"Uh, no. What the hell, man, what are you saying!" The tall man looked up to the barmaid, who was standing right above him.

She crossed her arms and shook her head with pity at the two clueless ones. "Let's just say that… it's best for Yuj to not pursue Vanille anymore, alright? Otherwise, he might actually lose his entire arm."

* * *

She couldn't bring herself to say anything as they made their way back to Lightning's apartment. After all, what could she say? Tell her that not to worry? Tell her about that… voice? No, no way. Why would she care? Why would… wait – why did they leave so suddenly? And what was that huge reaction from her when the boy tried to check on her forehead…? Vanille stared at her feet as they stepped out of the elevator in silence. They walked down the empty corridor that was filled with the afternoon sun light from both sides of the windows until they reached the woman's flat.

Lightning opened the door and took off her sandals. Hearing the girl close the door behind her, she turned around and started, "Vanille,"

She looked up in surprise, since she wasn't expecting her to be the one to break the silence.

"What's wrong?"

Vanille blinked. "W-what's…?"

"I mean when we were on the beach," Lightning said, "What happened?"

"I-I…" She didn't really know which part of 'the beach' she was referring to, but probably, the woman was mad at her for being unable to hit the ball back. Yes, that had to be the case; she was a competitive person after all – "… Sand blew into my eye, so—"

"No, I'm not talking about that." She interrupted. Impatience went with her voice; Lightning began to close the distance between herself and Vanille, making the girl back up with fear. "You're… you're thinking about _that_ again… aren't you?"

She had to change the subject – she had to… "Wh… what are you saying, onee-san?" She laughed and looked to the side, "It really was just sand in my eye…! I told you before that I'm feeling better—"

"Look at me,"

A chill went down her spine. She couldn't possibly disobey that strict voice. Slowly, Vanille turned back to the soldier, though she was still hesitant about looking at her directly. Yet that pure blue colour somehow attracted her green orbs toward her, and soon enough, they were staring into each other.

Emerald met azure. Lightning could see everything: the fear, the sorrow, that… façade. She didn't like this one bit… no, she hated this. The woman knew what Vanille really needed was proper care; she even suggested it to her, but the girl only refused abruptly, almost as if seeing any 'outsider' would kill her. Truthfully, Lightning could always just drag her to one, but what good would that do? Would she really cooperate with the professionals? Even if she did open up, it would only end up like that night…

"_Nobody helped – I screamed and I screamed, but nobody…!"_

… She would only go out of control again.

_Why was she doing this? Why did she care? Why…? _Vanille's mind was screaming these questions repeatedly. Earlier, she really wanted Lightning to look at her, to give her attention, because she _desperately_ wanted her to show something – anything – that would give the slightest hint that she was interested in her. This… well, sure, Vanille had her wish granted; the soldier was looking at her – more so staring – she was giving the girl her attention, but… but this uncomfortable feeling…

She didn't know what to do. A complicated matter regarding the human mind… That was totally out of hand for Lightning. After all, any sort of psychological issues that required her to communicate was never her forte. Why else would she have chosen gunblade-wielding as her specialty back then when she was a rookie? Out of luck and some sort of sudden urge, Lightning placed a palm on the girl's head.

Vanille's body stiffened as her eyes opened wide. Confused, but unable to break eye contact with the soldier, she could feel her legs wobbling.

"Relax," Lightning said softly. "If you insist that nothing's wrong, I will leave you alone." Her hand started to stroke through the girl's bright orange hair. "But if you need anything, just tell me." She stepped back, her hand slowly lifting itself away from Vanille.

"Wh…"

Lightning froze. Her hand hovered awkwardly above the redhead.

Vanille swallowed hard. She knew she was blushing, but she had to ask, she had to make sure, "Wait, onee-san," Otherwise her curiosity – no, her paranoia would kill her. The woman can't possibly be… _concerned _for her, right?

Drawing her hand back towards herself, Lightning waited for her to go on.

"Why are you helping me so much…?" Her voice couldn't get any louder, "I'm… I'm nobody to you…"

Was that a trick question? Because if it was, it has caught the woman, hard. Now that she thought about it, she really had no idea. She nonchalantly gave the girl permission to stay at her place, she helped her patch up wounds, and she helped her go through that night without asking for anything in return. What happened to her usual, cold, and strict front? Lightning stopped thinking to stare blankly at the girl.

"…" The redness on Vanille's face wasn't fading.

… Fine. Perhaps she was slightly… just _slightly_ worried about this helpless girl; she couldn't just let her wander around the streets when all her stuff was stolen, and when the lost-and-found department doesn't work for shit. And it was actually a necessity to help her with that wound – it was even important to help her go through that night because… was it logical to leave her alone when she was breaking down in tears? No, no way could she leave her.

"Onee-san?" The girl called; whether she was impatient for an answer, or getting disturbed by the silence, she wasn't sure – Vanille just needed to say something.

Lightning thought hard, but nothing came to mind. "I…" She looked at the shorter girl who, surprisingly, did not try to look away this time.

_Such a beautiful colour._

Her body loosened up. Sure, she was confused, but she was certain of one thing: she freaking hated it when she saw her shaking like that on the beach. The night when she was sleepwalking, when the thugs attempted to attack her near the dome, in her washroom when she was crying, and even just a little while ago when she fell to her knees during the volleyball game – Lightning realized that she always ran to her, concerned, straight away. It was almost like a natural reflex; she had absolutely no control over it. And what was that sudden wave of anger that washed over her when Yuj tried to check on the girl's forehead? What the hell was that all about?

_So, you can't explain this strange possessiveness you have for her?_

Her blue eyes gleamed as she blinked, "… I don't know."

Disappointment hit her hard, but the girl held it in. "I see," She breathed. Taking off her sandals, Vanille walked past the woman, with nothing in mind to say.

"… But I…"

She stopped to look back.

Lightning also turned around slowly to face the girl, "… I don't know, I just don't like it when you're not…" She shrugged her shoulders, "… Smiling?" Yeah, that was probably it. Did she deliver her thoughts properly however, Lightning was unsure. She waited for Vanille go give her some sort of reaction, a positive one perhaps, so that she would know that she said the right thing for once. "I helped you because you weren't smiling." She concluded.

"S-smiling?"

"It just… bothered me. So I had to… somehow…"

"Bothered you?" Vanille repeated. She eyed the woman curiously, and started to wonder what was so peculiar about her smile. She wore it all the time, but nobody ever commented much on it. It was just something that would naturally be on her; never did she have to think much before doing it. The girl let out a huff and took a step towards Lightning. If something as simple as an absence of a smile could bother her, then this soldier must have paid a lot of attention towards her. Suddenly, Vanille didn't feel so tensed up anymore, because she understood completely. The girl leaned forward, close to Lightning's face, "How's this?" And she grinned.

She blinked and pulled back to create distance between herself and Vanille. "Don't come so close to me…" She muttered.

Vanille could see the soldier's cheeks getting red. How very uncharacteristic of her to blush. "Onee-san, you never talk much," She continued to smile, "So I never know what makes you happy."

Lightning rolled her eyes, "I just told you," She said in a soft voice.

The girl giggled, "Oh, so my smile also makes you… happy?" Now she knew why the four always teased her; it was because she didn't know how to throw comebacks for trivial matters.

"No!" She barked, sending Vanille bouncing backwards as she burst into laughter. The woman stared at her angrily before quieting down again, "Just… just that when you're smiling, I know you're not… remembering those things…"

But in the end, Lightning was only worried. Of course, there was no doubt that Vanille was happy about this, but at the same time, she didn't want to trouble the woman. "Onee-san!" She called happily.

"…" The soldier raised a brow at her sudden high-pitched, girly, and happy voice.

She remained grinning, "Don't worry about me! Back then on the beach, it really was just sand in my eye."

Lightning was still unconvinced.

Vanille pointed out her pinky finger. "Here, onee-san, I'll promise you,"

"Huh?" She stared cluelessly at the girl's little finger and wondered what kind of promise she was making.

Vanille took Lightning's hand gently and helped her point out her little finger. She then locked it together with her own, "Pinky swear! I promise you that if I ever have those… erm, _panic attacks_ again, I'll come to you straight away, whether you like it or not." She chuckled at her child-like vow briefly before clearing her throat and continued, "So, don't worry about me, okay?"

"Tch, it's not that I'm worried," She rolled her eyes. Somehow, that blush faded away. "Making promises like this… what am I, a child?" The woman mumbled to herself.

"Well, then… if this isn't enough for you, let's make a deal!" She pushed her hand and the woman's hand upwards so that their thumbs would meet, "There, now I can't break the promise."

"That's not my point, Vanille…" She cut herself off because the girl was, all of a sudden, looking at her in a very… very gentle way. It felt… pleasantly strange. Lightning had to ask, for she was slightly bothered, "… What?"

It has been a long time since anyone cared this much for her. And to be cared for by such a beautiful young woman who, also, happened to be her crush, Vanille felt as if she was the luckiest person in the entire universe. Yes, it was official – the girl was certain that she had a major crush on her. That strong attraction she claimed that she had for Lightning, the happiness she received when Lightning either showed concern for her or even _looked_ at her… it all matched.

How weird of the girl to not reply. The woman tried again, "Uh, hello?"

Vanille smiled wider – that was all she could do, really. "Nothing," Turning around, she headed for the kitchen. "Do you want anything to eat? It's way past lunchtime, and we were supposed to eat with Lebreau-san and them, but…"

"It's fine. I usually ditch them halfway even if they have plans set for me,"

"What – but that's… that's kind of mean…"

The soldier shrugged her shoulders. "They're used to it." She made her way to the sofa and sat down.

"If you insist…" Vanille watched as she turned on the soundless TV, "But I'll just give them a call later, to tell them that we're fine, okay?"

Lightning didn't reply. Presumably, she meant to say yes, but she had no point to use that bit of energy to answer. The woman simply continued to stare at the soundless screen.

"So," The girl clapped her hands together, "What should we eat?"

Lightning leaned back and took a deep breath, "You decide. I'm fine with anything,"

"That I make?"

"Ye—what!" She spun her head at Vanille, eyeing her furiously, and flushing madly at the same time.

The girl held onto her stomach and laughed. "I was joking! Just joking, but – haha! Onee-san, you're so cute!"

"Ugh," She groaned. Yet again, no comebacks came to her mind.

Vanille rested her elbows on the counter, and then let her chin rest on her palms. "Alright, I'll just surprise you." And the subject was dropped. As the girl searched through the refrigerator for ingredients, she couldn't keep her mind off something else: she was certain of her own feelings, but what about the woman? What did she think about her? Were their feelings mutual? Just being overly concerned did not mean that Lightning would have feelings for her. Vanille turned around to put her gathered ingredients onto the counter, but she couldn't help it. Again, the girl looked at the woman, who was reading a magazine again.

"_I'm not just going to kill them, I'm going to cut off their fucking limbs if you run."_

She gasped. Clenching her fists, she shut her eyes tightly and gritted her teeth, whispering, "Please… not now…" Her heart was pounding heavily, and like that night, it was getting harder to breathe. Scared, Vanille looked up at the woman, who was secretly observing her. The redhead knew that they were too far apart – there was no way that Lightning could see the current her, so she could conclude that the woman was only glimpsing out of curiosity, and not concern. Letting out a deep sigh, the girl forced the best smile she could fake on her face.

Of course, Lightning was freaked out by it and immediately looked back down at her magazine.

She sighed. The voice no longer was echoing, and she waited for those painful spasms to subside before returning to her cooking. This was getting so irregular, Vanille was starting to fear that one day, she might just lose it completely, and then eventually… she would lose her mind.

* * *

"Onee-san, I'm done with the shower, you can go in…" Her words somehow trailed off – "… now…" – the moment she saw the woman sitting on the same couch, with her elbow on the armrest supporting her drooping head – she was asleep. Vanille giggled softly. It wasn't often she could see her asleep; this was only the second time, actually. Something as adorable as the likes of this, Vanille had to take a closer look.

She walked towards the woman, and sat herself quietly down beside her. The white leather made a scrunching sound as she did so; Vanille glanced over at Lightning. Luckily, the sound wasn't loud enough to wake her. Letting out a sigh of relief, she slouched herself closer towards the soldier. Lightning has changed to her usual home-attire – a white thin-strapped tank top and a pair of white boxers. It was something that she'd rather show at home than in public places because she was so damn modest of her body.

_But really, _Vanille would often think to herself, _she'd want her to dress more girly, so they can shop together, choose clothes together… and that she could see her better _– the girl shook her head—

"_What am I thinking about!"_

—The action sent the droplets in her still-drenched orange hair flying all over the place. Though, still, Lightning has yet to show signs of waking up. "Hmm…" Vanille mumbled to herself. With Lightning asleep, she couldn't talk to anyone, nor would she want to turn on the TV, because that would wake the tired soldier up. Vanille turned to look at her again. It was because she's a soldier, and that was why she was so tired. Dragging her to that volleyball game this afternoon five hours after her nightshift was brutal enough, so letting her sleep peacefully was all the girl could do for her.

Lightning shifted her position a bit, her movement breaking Vanille's train of thoughts, sending her concentration back to her pretty face.

Vanille smiled to herself. Bored, her eyes started to trace the woman's features. From her soft brows to her thick and long lashes, the girl followed the outlines of her jawbone, "You know, you're really, really, really beautiful?" She whispered. Her eyes then wandered to the deep pink colour in the woman's lips. For some reason, that colour drew all the attention she had – and… and then…

"_Gulp."_

The girl found herself leaning forward, slowly, slowly… _torturously-slow_… And when she was just inches apart from the woman's lips, Lightning suddenly let out a soft sigh. The minty breath from her only made Vanille want… want her more, but…

"_I can't do this."_

She drew back, but leaned forward once again, this time towards Lightning's ear. She started to whisper, "Onee-san, wake up,"

No response.

Vanille decided to try again. "Onee-san, you're going to catch a cold if you don't sleep properly,"

Again, no response.

"Hey…" She tapped the woman's shoulder lightly.

Still, no response.

It didn't occur to her that a cautious soldier like her would be such a deep sleeper. Sure, she might be super tired or something, but still. Vanille took a deep breath.

"_Now's my chance!"_

Once more, she leaned forward, and without hesitation – _well, maybe just a bit_ – she looked at her motionless and closed eyes once more, and she pecked Lightning's lips with her own. The moment was brief, but it definitely felt long. As clichéd as it was, Vanille could swear – it felt like a freaking eternity.

_And damn, she wanted to do it again._

"Ugh… so greedy!" The girl scolded herself quietly, shaking her head rapidly again. Then, she swallowed, hard, and looked back at the sleeping soldier. Vanille giggled again, because she still could not believe how adorable Lightning Farron looked when asleep. But really, enough of that; the strawberry-blonde had work tomorrow, and it was getting late. It'd be bad if she actually caught a cold now. "Onee-san!" Vanille shook Lightning's shoulder, "Hey, come on, wake up!"

"Mmm…" The woman moaned.

Vanille smiled. For fun, she whispered, "If you want to sleep, why don't you rest on my shoulder?"

"Mmm…" She moaned again, this time nodding her head, and her entire body slouched over to the girl's side.

"W-wha—?"

"…"

Vanille watched as Lightning's lips mouthed something. She widened her eyes, and then looked down at Lightning's somewhat… uncomfortable sleeping face, as opposed to the peaceful one just a few moments ago, and then her eyes shifted to the Farron family portrait on top of the fireplace, right under the screen of the TV. Vanille kept her eyes on a particular pink-haired, early-middle-aged woman. She had her arms around the two girls' shoulders, who also happen to have pink hair. Everyone in the photo was smiling tenderly into the camera—

"…"

She heard it again. And then she couldn't help it anymore. Her arm moved around Lightning's shoulder and started, "I'm… I'm not her, onee-san," Vanille could hear her whispery voice shake – probably because she felt so heartbroken for this strong, proud, and… delicate _girl_, much like the one in the family portrait. "But if you need someone," Tightening her grasp around Lightning, her other arm eventually moved up as well to hug her, "Vanille is here."

This warm and fuzzy feeling… such a nostalgic sound and smell.

_It was probably just a dream._

Lightning smiled in her sleep.

_But if this 'dream' could feel so real, then it didn't matter. Nothing did in the world would matter._

"… Okaa-san…"

To see Lightning so needy like this, Vanille could only describe the feeling as 'bittersweet'. On one hand, to have the serious soldier act so innocently, it reassured her of one thing, and that was the fact that Lightning was only human, and that she also had a fragile side to her. On the other hand however, it pained Vanille to hear her speak so weak and delicately. It just… didn't feel right. It just made her want to give her a big, big, secure hug. It made Vanille want to protect her. She started to stroke the strawberry-blonde's hair gently, "And you call me a child…" The girl rested her head on Lightning's, "… You're very much one yourself," She smiled and closed her eyes.

* * *

**_To update exactly one month later… I've got skills lol. Well, I'm back from vacation, which means updates should be quite regular (I hope)._**

**_Anyway, I like to, once again, thank you all for the reviews so far. They're all sososososo nice and encouraging I want to cry :'). Keep them coming, or I wouldn't know what you guys want haha. I don't want to repeat myself, but I'd feel bad if I don't: if I don't reply to your reviews, it doesn't mean I hate you, it just means that I forgot/am too lazy to do so :P. _**

**_See you soon! _**


	7. Closeness

Chapter 7 - Closeness

"_It's not going to last."_

Vanille's body sprung up. Her slumber was disturbed by the same annoying, repelling, _disgusting_ voice. She sat still on her host's bed for a moment to gather her thoughts, to know that she was alive, and to confirm that she was living in the present – or more appropriately, reality right now. Tiredly, she rubbed her droopy eyes with the back of her hand and… how strange, when she pulled back, she could feel it damp with a warm liquid.

She couldn't control it. "Stop crying," She whispered to herself, "Don't think about it…"

Burying her face into her palms, she tried to picture happier images. Anything would do – flowers, sugar, sunshine, rainbows, children, laughter, stars, calm nights, waves…

"_This… illusion, if you will, can't shield you for a lifetime."_

… crashing tides, gunfire… _them_, storms, starless nights, lifeless bodies, the stench of blood, _death_—

"_You empty shell,"_

Vanille got out of the bed and slowly made her way to the window. On some days, the sun would rise with a life-filled light; on the other days, it would carry an unwanted grimness with it. And today was one of those 'other days'.

"… _what's your limit?"_

The room lit with the same melancholic bluish-white lights at midnights, she used her own senses to reach for the door. The silent hallway she was walking through always reminded her of the sleeping strawberry-blonde outside. Though, even with those godly ears of hers', Lightning, the heavy-sleeper, would never wake up to mere footsteps. As she reached the living room, expecting the soldier to be asleep on the usual white sofa, she was surprised to see a shadow of a figure on the ground, stretching to her toes. Looking up, she found the said soldier leaning onto the window on one side of her body, her back against the girl, and she was holding something in her hand. What it was, however, Vanille was unsure, for she quickly hid herself back into the hallway.

The girl had no idea why she had that urge to hide… no, wait, she knew why. Of course she knew why. Vanille peeked into the room, only a tiny bit of her head cutting through the boundary of the hallway. She gave herself a better look; squinting her eyes, she found Lightning holding onto… a picture frame. The redhead glanced at the drawer beneath the mounted television – it was missing. Then, she turned back to the strawberry-blonde. Yes, that had to be the picture. Lightning was looking into her family portrait.

"_What is the limit of your emptiness?"_

Vanille quietly drew herself back to lean against the wall. Her eyes glued onto the soldier's shadow on the hardwood floor as she began to think what the best way to approach her was. Time went by quicker when people don't pay attention to it, Vanille thought, as Lightning's shadow became darker, she knew that the sun was getting brighter. The sad blue colour faded, and was now replaced with a familiar, warm, golden light. Strange that the soldier remained still for such a time, or, even stranger, she didn't notice the presence of the girl.

She stepped out of the dark hallway, into the light, and towards the strawberry-blonde.

The soldier had her eyes shut. It almost looked as if she was standing up asleep, but Vanille knew she wasn't. She just looked dreadfully tired. The family portrait was held onto loosely – seemed to the girl that Lightning didn't want to hold on, but at the same time, she didn't want to let go.

"Onee-san,"

Lightning kept her eyes closed.

She tried again, "Up already?"

Slowly, her eyelids opened and the beautiful blue eyes pierced through her pink bangs. For a moment, she glanced at Vanille, and then her eyes dropped to the picture she was holding onto. "Why were you hiding?"

Oh, of course. How could Lightning not know? Vanille felt a vein pop in her neck.

No immediate answer was heard, and she did not feel that there was a need to pursue for one. "Never mind," She dropped the subject. Everything was said in a very weary tone – almost sorrowful.

What was with this… 'I don't care about anything' voice? It wasn't as cold and hurtful as it usually sounded. Actually, right now, it sounded like the woman was going to faint due to stress or fatigue or… something. It just wasn't right. Vanille knew that Lightning wasn't the type to express herself, but she had to do something. This felt as bad as… perhaps if she were to make a comparison, she would have to say that it feels like 'Lightning being unable to see Vanille smile'. Yes, it was probably that – maybe worse – she didn't know. The girl stepped closer, "Do you miss them?"

That instantly made her grip onto the frame, hard. She didn't know it, but her eyebrows were narrowed. It was all because she didn't know how to respond.

Vanille could tell, Lightning wasn't annoyed, nor was she angered. This insecure child was afraid – afraid of the truth.

She stared into the girl's eyes, unaware that through all of this, her grip on the picture frame was tightening to the point where her hands started to shake.

Vanille noticed it all. She reached for the woman's hand, placing her cold fingers onto her shaking ones.

The icy-cold feeling sent chills all over her body, but at the same time, it made her realize how out of control she was. She twitched out of natural reaction, and her eyes finally softened.

Glad that she was back to her usual self, Vanille gave Lightning a small smile.

_It'd be nice if you can smile back._

It was a usual thought. It often came to her, but she never wished for it. Suffice to say, Lightning wasn't the type to show emotion – that was a given – so what would make her think that she would even smile? Vanille kept her fingers on Lightning's as she looked down at the photo.

_A smiling girl – two smiling girls. _

One would think that they were identical if it wasn't because of the difference in height. The shorter pink-haired girl was smiling ever-so sweetly… and the taller strawberry-blonde… she was—

"If I neglect this,"

She wasn't expecting Lightning to break the silence. Vanille immediately shot her head up to confirm that the voice came from the soldier.

"Then I will forget everything," Lightning continued as she brushed her thumb over her mother's face.

"…"

Her azure eyes moved planted onto Vanille's emerald ones, "… I won't remember how they'd look like."

Unbeknownst to Vanille, she was now holding onto Lightning tightly. Her grip on the back of the woman's hand more secure than anything she's held onto in her life. Yeah, okay, Lightning wasn't the type to show emotion, and there was no doubt about that. But that didn't mean she was unable to express herself. Vanille wasn't sure, but what the soldier told her just now… it didn't really make sense – 'Neglect'… 'Remember their faces' … _what_! It could all possibly be her hidden thoughts, stored away for years, all mashed and mixed up. Perhaps this was the reason why Lightning didn't like to talk? Perhaps she didn't _know_ how to talk.

"Do you want to see them?"

Lightning dropped her heavy eyelids, letting Vanille's question linger in her mind for a bit longer before answer, "I don't know, do I?"

"Seems to me that you do,"

And she reopened them, their gazes locked together once again, "Even if I want to," Her voice became deeper, "… it is impossible to do so,"

"…"

"After all," Lightning looked back down at the picture.

To Vanille, the image reflected quiet magnificently in the soldier's blue eyes – it was charming.

"… They were the ones who left. I couldn't control it."

"Left…?" Something inevitable? Death? Betrayal…?

The two had nothing more to say. They stood there for a long time, as Vanille could feel the growing warmth of the sunlight on her cheek.

Lightning pulled her hand away from the girl's. She walked towards the TV and placed the frame back where it belonged before stepping towards the doorway. Her back against Vanille, she muttered, "I'm going out now." And she put on her boots.

Nervous, Vanille followed the woman to the door – almost in a trotting pace. Her hands clasped behind her, she began in a soft voice, "Y-you will be back tonight, right?"

The soldier turned around and looked at the redhead curiously.

"It's… tonight… isn't it?"

She let out a low breath before grabbing her weapon atop the shelf. Placing it in her black pouch, she replied in a casual tone, "Yeah, it is."

"…" Vanille didn't know what to do. Maybe the busy soldier didn't want to go? She looked down at her toes, ready to tell her that it was fine—

"I'll be there,"

Surprised, she jolted her head up.

Lightning was fixing her pink bangs with her fingers, her eyes narrowed to look up. "I'll be there, but maybe just a little bit late. I don't know, it depends," She dropped her hand to her side and turned to reach for the doorknob, "So wait for me, okay?" Finally, she left her flat silently.

The sounds of the woman's heels tapping onto the floor faded gradually, it was then Vanille realized what Lightning just said. _"And I thought you didn't want to go…"_ Vanille smiled to herself, unable to get that feeling – _butterflies in her stomach? _– out of her. Happily, she skipped to the sofa and threw herself onto its softness. "How silly of me to giggle like this…" She lied down on her side, her eyes facing the black TV screen. They naturally moved down to look at the picture Lightning was looking at moments ago. Her attention once again caught by the taller strawberry-blonde girl, Vanille's smile got bigger.

… In the picture, Lightning was grinning.

* * *

There was no place to sit at all. The beach was completely crowded with citizens and tourists – more so the latter, but that didn't matter; she couldn't find the one tourist she was looking for.

_Redhead with pigtails… redhead with pigtails…_

Not in sight at all. Maybe… she was just taking her time with her clothes; she always did that anyway. Lightning crossed her arms and looked up at the empty transparent dome. The annual Bodhum Fireworks was about to start, but she wasn't feeling excited for this at all. What was the point? She got to see this show – the same old show – every single year. Nothing has ever changed… it was the same routine. Though, the only difference was that for the past four years, the time she has spent here was when she's on duty. Today, for the first time, she was off, and she could come and watch the fireworks as a Bodhum citizen, and not as a soldier.

"Onee-san,"

Lightning pulled her eyes away from the dome and looked down. It was none other than Vanille, holding two ice-cream cones in her hand. The woman sighed, "So that's why it took you so long?"

She grinned. "I couldn't help it! So many kids were lining up and saying how good the stall makes it, so I just…"

"Uh huh,"

"So!" Vanille held the cones up higher, "Strawberry or vanilla?"

Lightning blinked a couple of times before looking at the tempting, sweet, and delicious-looking dessert, "I don't like sweet things." She turned back at the huge glass dome, keeping her arms crossed.

"Hmm…? I do remember Maqui saying something about how you love sweets… Aw man, I would totally walk into their bar and ask them right now if it wasn't so busy…" The girl looked behind her, the gang's bar was just a few steps away, but it was jam-packed with people. Clearly, it would be pointless to even try to find the four busy workers tonight. "So yeah, I'm pretty sure, onee-san, you would like this…"

"…" She bit onto her tongue.

Vanille could see the soldier getting tensed up. Giggling, she continued to tempt her, "This ice-cream looks really good…"

"…"

"It's sparkling and gleaming with sweetness! Look at the soft cream – oh, hey! There are real strawberry bits in this strawberry-flavoured one! It looks soooo good! But… what should I do? I can't possible finish them on my own…"

Lightning knew very well that this was all just a play, but she turned back to the girl, "Ugh, fine," And was about to reach for the pink cone, but then, for the slightest second, the slightest _split_ of a second, she could see the redhead twitch a little. The woman shook her head lightly, and changed her hand's direction towards the white vanilla cone. "This one,"

She grinned and happily handed it to Lightning. Right away, Vanille dug herself into the pink ice-cream, savouring, munching on the strawberry bits whilst smiling to herself as if she's never eaten something so wondrous before.

And Lightning couldn't help it but to stare in awe at her child-like innocence. It was just an ice-cream, but the girl looked so, _so_ happy. She turned to her own ice-cream and stared at it. The white cream was starting to melt, but it wasn't dripping down the cone yet. Lightning licked up the melting parts quickly, and wow – how long has she not touched food that was dessert-related? The sweet taste just reminded her how much she adored the taste of vanilla, and that her favourite flavour was, in fact, vanilla. Hungrily, she finished the rest of the cone.

Vanille, meanwhile, has already finished her own. She was gazing at the woman, who was eating the ice-cream with etiquette, but at the same time, it was easy to tell that she was bloody hungry. "Onee-san, you like vanilla, don't you?"

She nodded, never taking her attention off the sweet cone.

"Is it your favourite flavour or something?"

She nodded again.

"Oh…? Vanilla is your favourite flavour…"

"What are you thinking?" The woman asked in a straight voice as she finished the final bit of the crunchiness, suspicious of the fact that she repeated her answer.

"Well... it's just that I've always thought strawberry or anything that is pink would be your favourite. Look at your hair colour!"

Lightning raised a brow. "Ridiculous. Your name is 'Vanille', why didn't you choose to eat the vanilla one?"

"Right, I guess I get your concept!"

Thunderous sounds filled the beach. Green, red, blue, yellow, colourful lights lit up the dark sand. The shooting sparks sent the crowd wild; people were cheering, children were jumping, 'ooh' and 'wow' sounds were heard here and there.

"Oh! It's starting, it's starting!" The girl jumped with joy, very much like the children nearby. Then, unexpectedly, she turned quiet. Like the first time Lightning saw her on the beach, Vanille brought her hands together and made the same hand gesture with her eyes closed.

The woman tilted her head in confusion.

Dropping her hands back to her sides, Vanille reopened her eyes. "Alright, done!" She turned to the soldier, "Onee-san, you should make a wish too! I heard from Lebreau-san that if you wish upon the Bodhum fireworks, anything will come true for sure!"

"Hm," She sighed, "I don't have anything I want in particular."

The girl pouted. "Oh, come on, there has to be something…"

No matter how childish Vanille's voice was like right now, Lightning could tell that she was being serious. Actually, this girl was probably holding back, preventing herself from asking questions. And… fine. She did. She really did have something, but she was unsure whether she had the _right _to ask for such a thing. Looking up at the bright lights, she tried to think for something else she may desire. Money? No. Authority? No. Power? No…

"Onee-san?" Vanille shook the woman's arm, urging her for an answer.

Lightning turned back at the girl. The green fireworks now lighting up her face, they also conveniently emphasized the emerald colour in her deep eyes. Then, her eyes wandered downwards to her lips. "Vanille,"

"Yes?" The girl stiffened. Having the soldier look at her was rare, having the soldier look at her like _this _was freaking unbelievably legendary. It all came naturally, Vanille tiptoed, slowly leaned in, because Lightning looked so much like she was about to…

"You have ice-cream on the side of your mouth."

"…!" She gasped and pulled away, quickly looking at everything but the woman.

Lightning took a handkerchief out of her pouch, "Here," She grasped onto the girl's chin, turning her head towards herself gently, and helped her wipe away the pink stickiness. "You're such a kid." Folding the soft fabric into a neat square, she shoved it back into her pouch. "Alright, done, all clean now."

Vanille still couldn't bring herself to look at the soldier, so instead, she laughed it off nervously, grinning with her eyes closed.

The woman shook her head.

And the two continued to stare silently at the fireworks.

It was all very strange; the two were probably the only ones on the beach who knew each other, and were standing so far apart. Everybody else were in groups – it was easy to tell who knew each other and who didn't. Vanille wanted to take a step closer to her, but she couldn't find the courage to do so. Instead, she loooked at the woman at the corner of her eyes.

"_What is the limit of your emptiness?"_

It wasn't one of those horrible memories resurfacing from her mind this time; rather, Vanille was just thinking about the question, because this was one of those things that she could never hide from. Her 'happy memories' always failed to cover up this question, because the truth was Vanille wasn't sure what 'emptiness' means. Turning to Lightning, she could only imagine that people like her were able to recognize its true definition, and what the question in general really meant. "Onee-san,"

Lightning turned to the girl.

_How do you do it? _

"D-do you, uh…"

"…"

"Um… I, uh…" She swallowed. Why weren't the words coming out clearly as she had planned!

"Can you not stutter? It's really irritating." Impatience went with her voice.

Vanille didn't know where all her courage has gone, but she took a deep breath and took the woman's hand. "Onee-san," She stared straight into Lightning's blue eyes. "I…"

"… What?"

The fireworks sparkled with her azure eyes. For a brief, hint of moment, Vanille decided that wishing upon the fireworks was a dumb idea. This woman – this woman with these sparkling eyes could easily grant _any_ wish. "I want to ask you…"

More colourful lights shot up and thundered into the sky, covering up the girl's soft voice.

"… so long?"

"What was that?"

… _I heard it._

Vanille smiled. "Do you think I'm an annoying, reckless, stupid, and dumb girl?"

Lightning blinked. It was a question that came out of nowhere, but she had an answer. "Yeah,"

… _You weren't asking me this._

And as if all the happiness in the world left her, the girl's blazing green eyes became dull and lifeless. "Oh…" She released the woman's hands.

… _But I understand. I get it._

Lightning placed a hand on the shorter girl's head, patting her lightly. "But sometimes… just sometimes…" Her voice became quieter, "The irritation, recklessness, and stupidity coming from you make you appear…" She tried to search for the word as the girl looked at her avidly, "… refreshingly cute?"

Instantly, the light returned to Vanille's eyes. "… Really?"

"Just sometimes."

And she gave the woman that radiating smile she liked so much. She threw her arms around Lightning. "Yay!"

"H-hey! I said only _sometimes_!"

"But now I know that onee-san doesn't hate me!" She said happily, her words muffled into Lightning's Guardian Corps uniform.

"Ugh," She groaned with frustration.

The fireworks continued to roar as the climax of the show approached, and the crowd's cheers became stronger. More sparks flew into the air of the dome; the hovering rides began to gather closer, but none dared to enter the barrier of the dome, for they might get caught in all the explosions.

Something weird came to her mind; she felt almost as if once the show ends, the time for her to stay with this woman would end as well. Vanille started, "Onee-san," She has yet to let go of her.

But Lightning did not mind at all, "Hmm?" Or, at least, she pretended to mind.

"Are you really not going to make a wish?"

"No, I'm not."

Vanille frowned. "Boo…"

Lightning sighed. "Why are people like you so fond of making wishes at… sparkly things?"

She looked up at her, who was staring emotionlessly into the dome. She thought for a bit; that was actually quite a challenging question – why _do_ people only make wishes at sparkly things?

"Even something as genuine as the stars do not grant wishes," The woman continued, "So how would something artificial like _this_ grant them?" Lightning stared at Vanille and waited for an answer.

"…" Was this something that usually went through her mind? All these complicated matters, all these impossible-to-answer, non-scientific questions… "I don't… I don't know," Her grasp on the woman tightened, "But… it feels good to make wishes, doesn't it? I mean, seeing something so bright and full of life, you get this tiny feeling of hope inside, don't you?"

"…"

Vanille was still frowning. "Well… I do…" She hid her face with her bangs, embarrassed by her child-like confessions.

Lightning chortled, instantly grabbing the redhead's attention.

"Hey!" The girl scolded.

"S-sorry," She tried to hold her laughter in, covering it up with small coughs.

"Stop it!"

"Okay, okay! I stopped!" Lightning said honestly, looking at the girl with a smile that she could not erase.

Right away, Vanille's frown turned upside-down, and soon, it became a grin. She knew that the woman didn't realize it, but this was her first time, _ever_, to see Lightning smile. It was a natural, serene, and beautiful smile. "Good!"

She rolled her eyes. "Okay, then. Can you let go now?"

Vanille giggled, "Nope!" And she embraced Lightning even tighter than before.

The soldier let out a deeper sigh. There was no point in struggling; she wasn't particularly in pain or anything – just slightly annoyed, perhaps. As the final round of fireworks shot into the tall dome, the sounds on the beach became louder. Strangely, however, the only thing that Lightning could hear was Vanille's question. Subtly, she looked down at her, who was distracted by the pretty lights in the air.

"_Was it hard to be alone for so long?" _

If she were brave enough to answer her, it would probably go down to something like this:

"_Yeah. I'm at my limit, and—"_

"It hurts."

"Eh?" Vanille drew her attention away from the sparks and turned to the woman.

"... You're holding onto me too tightly. It hurts."

"—_it hurts."_

* * *

_"Me, selfish?" _

Yes, she called her selfish.

_"Is it… really that hard to… to…" Her voice became softer, but the girl was still listening, "To, like, live with someone like me…?"_

'No' was basically Vanille's answer. But she was not satisfied. Coming from someone who knew her for a little more than three weeks compared to someone who has known her for a lifetime… whose answer would be more logical? Whose answer would be more valid? Obviously the latter's.

Lightning stopped walking and looked upwards.

Oh, she was home. Strange how these troubling thoughts could help her waste time so easily. They could also ease away her boredom. On the days where nothing would happen, she would fill her thoughts with these echoes. Well, today was one of those days where they came in handy – not only did _nothing_ happened at all, but she also did absolutely _nothing_ during her patrolling hours. She was starting to think that joining the army was an idiotic and pointless decision. Sure, she had become stronger physically and, perhaps, mentally – _that was the whole point _– but what good would that do? Nothing was going to happen in this dumb town anyway.

She let out a sigh and shut the door behind her lightly, and proceeded to the sofa right after. Lightning threw her gloves and weapon onto the floor carelessly and collapsed onto the seat. The flat was filled with a dim hint of red sunlight, but more so with a deep purple – that was because this part of the beach never came in contact with a full red evening sun. The beauty of the colour didn't really matter, though. Right now, she just wanted to sleep.

Her eyelids dropped, her mind went blank. Her sore body loosened up and she slowly, very slowly, she…

A soft and silky sheet covered her body, immediately stopping her from entering her slumber.

"… Vanille?" She called with her eyes closed.

"Onee-san, I would tell you to go inside to sleep, but it looks like you're too tired to even move…"

Lightning took a deep breath and sat up. "Yeah, I'm tired," She said as she rubbed her temples. "Why don't you turn on the lights?" She opened her eyes, surprised to find the girl kneeling right in front of her.

Vanille smiled tenderly. "I just woke up,"

"It's almost night time,"

The girl stood up to sit beside the woman, "I didn't know my nap would last so long…" She snuggled closer to her warm figure, almost wanting to rest her head on the strawberry-blonde's shoulder. "Are you… hungry?"

"No,"

Vanille pursed her lips. "I don't understand how that's possible… you persist to eat one meal a day, and they're never at the same and appropriate time. Yet you're so… so…" She turned to the woman, "… Fit."

"I have a strange metabolism," She explained simply.

"Hmm… strangely beneficial. How lucky…" The girl spoke out her admiration, "… Does that mean you can eat desserts for every meal and not get out of shape?"

Lightning grunted. "Unfortunately, desserts do not apply…"

"So you don't eat them all together?" She began to tap at her chin with a finger, "Hm, guess that explains why you didn't want to eat any ice-cream yesterday!" Her teasing got the soldier slightly irritated, but she went on, "Too bad… I made you a cake because it looked to me like you really like sweet things, but…"

"A cake?" Lightning lifted her head up.

Seeing her huge reaction, the girl started to giggle. "Yeah, vanilla flavoured! Took me the whole afternoon… when I was done, I was so tired, so I went and took a nap."

"Wait," She stood up, "Y-you… you made me a cake… _today_?"

"… Yeah…" The redhead wondered why she had to emphasize the word 'today'.

"But…" The look on Lightning's face was a mixture between confused and surprised, "How did you…?" She did not recall telling the girl about this day. It could have been the four, probably.

"_Well, isn't this woman easy to read?"_ Vanille thought. It was blatantly obvious now, "Actually, I didn't know…" She started.

"…"

"You… kind of told me… just now…"

"…" Lightning quickly looked away.

The girl continued to smile. "So, aren't I sweet? I made you a cake even though I had no idea!"

"It was purely coincidence." She grumbled.

"But are you happy about it?"

"…" She didn't know what to say. More like, she did, but was too shy and afraid to bring herself to answer her.

"Onee-san?"

Lightning looked back down at the girl.

_Her cute, emerald puppy eyes…_

She sat down. A brief moment of silence filled the air before she finally grunted, "… Somewhat."

"Aww!" Vanille threw herself at the soldier, her weight literally crushing the strawberry-blonde down entirely onto the sofa. "I rarely see you happy, so the fact that you're admitting it…" She paused to look at Lightning, who seemed lost and confused, "… Would most likely mean that you're not just_ somewhat_ happy!"

"You make no sense." Lightning mumbled, unaware that she was flushed.

She laughed, "You're so cute!"

"Get off!" Lightning wasn't even trying, she realized. She was merely holding onto the younger girl's shoulders – just _holding_ on. "Damn it…" She wanted to sit up, but Vanille was weighing her down; it wasn't possible to move unless she actually tried. The woman grunted angrily, and decided to push the girl off once and for all… but… but hearing her laugh, so_ happily_, like this… she just couldn't bring herself to do it. Suddenly, she realized that her whole body relaxed; she was leaving the girl on top of her, letting her do whatever she pleased. But, god damn it, didn't she say that she hated physical contact! Especially something like this… it was way too girly; it was way too close… she couldn't do this… "Vanille…"

The girl heard the uncertainty in her voice, and immediately, she sat back up. She cleared her throat, "Sorry, onee-san. Was I… um, too heavy?"

"No," She sat up as well and quickly hid her face with her bangs.

"…" Vanille looked to the kitchen.

Lightning looked out the window, opposite the direction of where Vanille was looking.

This was a very bad awkward moment; one of them had to do something – that was what the girl was thinking. She stood up, "H-how silly of me to not even prepare a present for you, onee-san!" The words forced through that barrier of awkwardness.

The woman turned to Vanille.

"What would you like?"

Her mouth hung open, "… It's not… necessary."

"No, really, please tell me, I'll get it for you tomorrow…"

"It's fine." Lightning persisted, "Besides, you already made me a cake,"

Vanille, however, was still unconvinced. "But cakes don't count… since they're essential on birthdays…"

The soldier grunted. "If you must, then anything would be fine."

"Anything?" The girl repeated.

She nodded. "Anything."

"Okay then!" She cheered, "I'll go shopping tomorrow, and you'll see it when you come home from work!"

Lightning sighed.

"But for now… how about a birthday hug?"

"W-what!"

"Birthday hug! They're also necessary on birthdays." She opened her arms, "Or would you rather have birthday punches?"

"Yeah, I'd really prefer the punches…" The woman moved away from the girl.

"My punches are so weak, they don't even count as punches!" Vanille laughed, "Come on, it's just a hug!" She scooted over to Lightning, all the way until the soldier could no longer move for she was stuck between the girl and the armrest of the sofa.

"You already gave me one…" She looked away and blocked the girl from coming any closer.

Vanille tried to push away the woman's arms, "It's not called a 'hug' unless the other person accepts it!"

"Okay, okay, fine!" Lightning breathed, "Just… just for a bit…"

With that, Vanille gave her one more smile before leaning in to embrace her. She's always wanted to do this; she's always wanted the woman to willingly, or at least, half-willingly let her do this. No, it wasn't because Lightning was her crush, but rather… for a long time, Vanille felt that it was important to, somehow, give this woman attention, affection, and above all, just some sort of emotion, because she could tell that Lightning's really wanted these things – it was just a matter of pride and ego that prevented her from asking.

_Or is it loneliness?_

Lightning closed her eyes, for she was on the edge of falling asleep all this time. How very unusual. The two didn't know each other enough to be called 'close friends', and yet never once did Vanille showed signs of fear from experiencing the woman's impatience, anger, and frustration. This girl was probably the first person ever who could tolerate her bitterness.

A hand moved up to caressed the back of Lightning's neck gently as her other one stroked the soldier's back. She wasn't planning to let go until Lightning told her to, and _dear god_, Vanille was hoping that she would never ask. But she soon came to realize that as long as she didn't try anything funny like earlier, Lightning was comfortable with a hug.

The woman remained still. Right, Lightning remembered; she was always the one who held onto this girl, and never the other way around. Was it supposed to feel this pleasant? Was this the reason why Vanille could keep herself in control? Was it all merely thanks to a… a hug? Well, she had to admit, this didn't feel bad or anything – rather, it felt kind of good. It gave her this strange, foreign, and… secure feeling that she hasn't felt since _they_ left her.

The scent coming from the strawberry-blonde was none other than the typical perfume she always used; it had a faint aroma of strawberries (of course) and jasmine mixed together. Just by inhaling it made Vanille feel that she was hugging a child; it smelled so much like baby lotion. Fresh, genuine, and… fluffy was what Vanille would describe the scent as. In a way, the pleasant smell was very much soothing.

_Please don't pull away… please don't pull away…_

Her mind was chanting these words over and over again, and that was because those words were what she really wanted. To ensure this, Lightning, slowly, moved her hands up as well and wrapped them around the girl's slim waist, pulling her closer to herself at the same time.

Vanille was no doubt surprised, as she always knew Lightning hated physical contact like this…

The soldier rested her head on the girl's shoulder, almost burying herself into it.

Okay, Lightning actually liked this. Vanille was long blushing by now – _her crush was hugging her back!_ – and she could only cover up her nervousness by regaining her breath. But out of nowhere, "Onee-san…" A part of her body made her call out to the woman. She wanted Lightning to look at her.

And she lifted her head up to look at the girl, waiting for her to go on.

"…" Her heart pounded against her chest heavily. So hard, the '_thump-thump' _sounds were resonating in her ears. Vanille was afraid that Lightning was going to look at her like this… her gaze was so full of questions and uncertainty – _insecurity – _it just cleared away everything she wanted to say. And now that their faces were so close together—

"Sorry…" Lightning suddenly said. She began to pull back, as she figured that Vanille probably didn't want her to hold onto her waist like this—

"No…" She tightened her grasp around the woman, just before she could create any more distance between them.

Her arms still lingering around the girl's waist, the soldier, once again, remained as stiff as she always was and waited for her to continue.

Vanille gathered everything she had and started, "Do… do you not like this?"

"…"

It was getting harder to breathe, but she went on, "I mean… the hug. Do you not like this?"

Lightning swallowed hard, and realized that her throat was as dry as hell. "I don't," Her voice came out as a whisper.

Vanille fought hard with her shaky voice, "I… I see…" If that didn't come out clear enough, then she should really reconsider how selfish and annoying she was. Slowly, she drew her arms away from the woman—

_Because she doesn't like this._

—But Lightning stopped her by holding onto her waist, immediately making those green eyes glue back onto her blue ones. The soldier pulled a hand up. Lightly, her fingertips touched the ends of Vanille's orange bangs; they bounced back in their usual position, and she did it a few more times before feeling the girl's soft cheek with the back of two fingers. All this time, her eyes were following the movement of her hands as she couldn't bring herself to look straight at Vanille's eyes. "I don't dislike this,"

The softest gasp escaped her lips.

Her fingers reached the side of the girl's pink lips. She brushed against them gently. This was actually all very new to Lightning, as she has never enjoyed being a lover nor has she enjoyed any of her past 'lovers'. More precisely, however, the woman wasn't sure if it was even appropriate to call them lovers. After all, most of them were just one-night stands – at least she viewed them that way, she could care less what the others would think.

The strawberry-blonde was leaning in, and she could feel her warm palm cupping her cheek. Vanille did not want to think about anything right now, because everything was going so well – never do things go well for her… this was probably a once-in-a-life-time thing. Her eyelids dropped automatically once she felt Lightning's warm breath against her skin, and she waited, she _anticipated._

Definitely, no. Those people were definitely not lovers, because _this_ feeling has never overcome her before. This warm, fuzzy feeling that made her sweat so nervously, that made her heart beat so intensely that all those intense training she had with the military seem trivial – no… she has never felt like this before. Was she in love?

_Probably._

How could she have not noticed!

_Doubt._

Yeah, most likely. Lightning closed her eyes as well, their lips mere millimetres apart—

_Ding dong_

Both of them opened their eyes, and seeing how close each other were, they quickly jolted backwards and looked away.

_Ding dong_

Vanille was the first to react. "Th… that's probably Lebreau-san and them…!" She stood up, but noticed that she couldn't stand straight as her legs were wobbling with shyness. "They did say that they wanted to celebrate with you… remember?" She smiled at Lightning, who was _kind of_ looking at her… awkwardly.

She didn't know how to reply, so she looked out of the window again. "Yeah…" She muttered.

"I'll… I'll go get the door!"

As Vanille headed for the doorway, Lightning realized how much she wanted to scream in frustration. Her fists clenched, her eyes shut tightly… _god_ – she's never been so pissed off in her life! She was so freaking close, and the gang had to disturb her _now_! Holy shit, she was so going to punch whoever talked first. Yeah, that was it – whoever talked first would be the one who pressed the doorbell, so whoever it was going to be would totally deserve it.

"Onee-san…"

Vanille's soft voice broke her train of thoughts. She looked up at her… somewhat troubled expression, and then at the opened door. Confused, she stood up as well, and walked towards the redhead. "What is it?"

The girl didn't reply. Instead, she looked to the opened door.

Lightning followed her eyes, and—

"Onee-chan,"

A girl, with the same height as Vanille, with the same hair colour, eyes, and strictly speaking, facial structure as _herself _was standing at the doorway.

Vanille looked back at Lightning, who was bearing a _more than shocked _expression.

Her lips parted, she mouthed some words, and the sounds did not flow out as she hoped. Her blue eyes sharpened as she tried again, "Serah…?"

* * *

**"_Where is Serah? Where is Serah! WHERE THE HELL IS SERAH?"_**

**_WELL, THERE SHE IS, HAPPY NOW? _**

**_Yay for cliffhanger endings._**

**_P.S: Who else is excited for FFXIII-2! :D_**


	8. Control

Chapter 8 - Control

The girl standing at the doorway looked exactly like Lightning, minus the fact that her eyes had a deeper blue colour, and that her facial features were not as sharp. There was no doubt – this girl was that smiling girl in the soldier's family portrait – this girl was Lightning's younger sister.

"Why…"

Lightning's voice rang in Vanille's ears.

She went on, "What is this…?" The words were small and weak; it was almost as if she didn't want to try.

Her sister knew this was coming. Whether she was scared or not, she still had to answer, "Onee-chan, I—"

"I don't want to see you." She reworded. It was a command – her voice grinded in her throat.

This thick air could kill. It felt _lethal_. Vanille could hardly breathe, and she couldn't bring herself to look at such a frightening Lightning, so instead, she turned to the younger sister. For some reason, it surprised the redhead to see that girl looking so eagerly – desperately – at her sister. It looked almost as if she wanted to beg… beg for _something_.

"Onee-chan…"

"Shut up," The soldier spat.

"Please listen to me—"

"I am not your sister," She said simply.

An invisible knife stabbed into her heart – those words were _that_ painful. Though Serah knew it was coming from the beginning, she realized that she actually wasn't as prepared as she thought she would be. "Please, just listen—"

"I don't want to! Just get out of here!" She yelled, her brows furrowed as she glared at her sister.

Not only did Serah, but Vanille also winced and took a step back from the loudness of her voice.

Lightning could only view Serah as her enemy; she couldn't control it but to rant everything out, and she wasn't backing down at all. "I'm selfish, aren't I?" She grunted her words, "I thought you couldn't stand me, and yet you're…" The woman cut herself off – for a huge shadow, a _huge_ shadow suddenly covered the door and distracted her. Lightning widened her eyes – _mixed emotions – _and then she tensed up so much, her body began to tremble.

And Vanille reacted very much the same. There was a tall, _gigantic _man standing at the doorway. She knew it wasn't good to judge people before she got to know them, but… his messily-shaved beard, black bandana, and that huge beige coat that covered most of his body just made him look like a… not a very _friendly _person.

The said 'unfriendly' person stepped into the flat. A look of determination on his face, he stepped in front of the younger strawberry-blonde, in a motion that looked like he was shielding and protecting her. Taking a deep breath, he began, "Nee-san…" and waited for some sort of reaction from the elder sister, so that he would know that he could go on.

Lightning twitched.

"Please, just let Serah—"

She couldn't take anymore – she was going to _die_ if she heard any more from these two. "I don't want to know." She interrupted.

"—she just wants to talk to you!"

"Get out of my sight."

"Nee-san!"

Lightning snapped her head up. It was hard to say what kinds of emotions she was going through; by the time Vanille could catch those azure eyes, the woman had already ran past her, and before she knew it, the huge man was thrown onto the ground by a punch.

"Snow!" Serah cried and knelt down beside him.

Everything happened so quickly, everything was literally a flash – there was no better way to describe it.

Although she wasn't wearing her gloves equipped with those deadly brass knuckles, that punch still hurt like hell. "I-I'm fine…" He stammered as he tried to get up. Looking back at the furious soldier, he knew that it was wise to stop whatever he wanted to do, but he didn't feel like giving up. Biting onto the side of his lower lip to ease the fear those eyes gave him, the man stood back up, "Nee-san, just listen—"

"Don't call me that!" And she threw him another punch, making him land the same way.

Vanille shut her eyes, tight. She couldn't watch this… she couldn't _stand_ this anymore. Whether she had anything to do with this or not, she had to do something – she had to stop Lightning…

The man called 'Snow' was trying to get up again, only to be stopped by Serah, "No!" Then she turned to her sister, "Onee-chan, please stop!" She begged as she held the man down, preventing him from continuing his stubbornness.

Yet he, for some reason, still had the will to smile at Serah. Perhaps it was his way to reassure her that he was fine. Once again, he sat up and prepared to consult the woman.

Her fists clenched tightly, Lightning's short nails dug deep into her own palms. "Why are you doing this…!"

The instability in the woman's voice… "No… onee-san…" Vanille's voice refused to come out clearly. She could only hear herself whisper.

Lightning drew her arm back, about to punch him one more time when—

"Onee-san, stop it!" The girl yelled.

That frightened voice made Lightning turn around to Vanille right away. The poor girl was shaking, and – _she swallowed – _that look… Lightning's seen that look before. The fear in her dazzling emerald orbs whenever she went through those painful memories… right now, it was the same. She didn't want to see Vanille like this.

The girl watched as Lightning softened her eyes. Anger and frustration erased, those eyes are now filled with uncertainty.

Slowly, the woman broke eye contact with Vanille, and turned around to look at her sister and that man.

The two returned the stare with a look of fear and confusion. Why did Lightning stop? Nothing ever stopped this woman from going out of control…

And that was the moment when Lightning realized how violent she has gotten. Suddenly, everything felt distant. She felt as though she lost hold of gravity; she felt as if she didn't belong to this world – like an alien, unwanted. All of them… that man, her sister, even… even Vanille was looking at her that way, so it was a given, right? Yes, they were all looking at her as if she didn't belong – yes… yes, that was it…

All that could be heard in the flat was Snow's heavy panting sounds. Nobody dared to speak.

Lightning hesitantly moved her empty hands up as she gazed down at them. Her nails that dug into them left small, half-moon shaped marks in her palms. She turned her right hand a bit so that she could see her reddened knuckles. Dropping her hands to her sides, she let out a sigh before walking past the two on the ground. Not even bothering to lay an eye on them, she put on her boots, and headed out the door.

_Wait…_

Without thinking twice, Vanille ran after her. She put on her sandals with haste and stormed out of the door, "Onee-san!" She called to Lightning who wasn't too far away.

The soldier stopped.

And so did the girl. "Wha…" Vanille realized that she didn't know what she wanted to say. Why did she have that urge to chase after her? … No, it didn't matter; all she knew was that she didn't want this woman to leave. "Onee-san, where are you—"

"Vanille,"

Stunned by her interruption, she cut herself off.

Lightning turned her head slightly, enough so that the redhead could see the corner of her eyes. "I… I'm sorry, but I want to be alone."

Quick and to the point. Vanille was definitely worried, but who would dare to go against Lightning Farron's request? It pained her to just let the soldier leave like this, but what else could she possibly do? Tie her up? Bind her down? How ridiculous…

Getting no response from her, the strawberry-blonde could only move on. She started to walk forward.

Vanille gasped. She was afraid… "Come… come back right after…!" She was afraid that the woman was going to leave her.

Lightning turned around, this time completely so that they could look at each other.

With effort, Vanille dropped that frightened look off her face and put on her usual cheerful one. She smiled; as fake as it looked, she had to be happy. "You will… right?"

An insecure, doubtful, yet hopeful question.

"…" She remained smiling as she hoped for the best and waited for the worst.

But unexpectedly, the sides of Lightning's lips moved upwards slightly. "I haven't eaten that cake yet, have I?" With that, the soldier turned around and headed for the opposite direction.

And as if a thousand pounds dropped off her chest, Vanille could finally let out a sigh of relief. How strange. This woman smiles at the most unpredictable times, but they were sure as hell always filled with warmth and comfort. She watched Lightning walk down the corridor, into the elevator, all the way until the doors of it closed. It was then Vanille remembered how all of this hysteria started. She started to make her way back to the woman's flat, though she was hesitant about it. After all, who was she to ask? Who was she to even… care? Regardless, Vanille knew what she wanted – she had to discover more about the strawberry-blonde soldier. The girl wanted to know what she had against her sister. Lightning was about to attack her for god's sake! She sped up until she reached the door. Almost by accident, she entered the room as if she were late for something.

Serah and the man turned around as she burst in.

Vanille blinked. Her abruptness must have startled the two. "Uh… um, I…" She bit onto her lower lip. Should she introduce herself first, or offer them something to drink? Or… rather, should she tell them to take a seat? No, that didn't make sense, this place belonged to Lightning _and_, obviously, her younger sister, so…

"Sorry about that,"

"Eh…?" The indecisiveness from her immediately slipped away. Vanille looked to the two on the floor, and realized that Serah was apologizing to her.

She stood up and bowed, her side-ponytail resting on her shoulder slid off and dangled with gravity. "For a guest of onee-chan's to witness something like this… I'm so sorry."

Vanille's mouth hung open. Honestly, she did not know what to say in situations like this, especially when the sister was being _this _sincere…

From behind, the man got up as well, albeit way more clumsily. He rubbed his bruised cheek a couple of times before starting, "We're really sorry!" And he bowed as well.

"No, no!" Vanille waved her hands. This was getting more and more awkward by the second; she was completely not used to getting treated like this – _to have people bow to her – __**her**__ of all people – what! _"Really, I…" She swallowed, "It wasn't that big of a deal—"

The blonde man lifted his head up.

_God damn it. Not that big of a deal? Nice going there, Vanille. _"I-I meant…!" The rapid beating of her heart wasn't making it any easier for her to deliver her words, "… it didn't bother me, so don't worry about it." It was a blatant lie – everyone in the room knew that, she was pretty sure; but how else should she have said it?

The younger strawberry-blonde finally stood straight and lifted her head up as well. She let out a small smile, "Anyhow, I apologize for the trouble." Then, she reached a hand out, "My name is Serah, I'm… well, I think you know already, but I'm her… sister."

There was a slight hesitance in her voice when she introduced herself as Lightning's sister, but she chose to ignore that. Reaching a hand out as well, she clasped onto Serah's gently, "I'm Vanille."

_Perhaps she should say more?_

"I'm… a friend of onee – sorry, _Lightning's_."

Serah chuckled. "It's much easier to call her 'onee-san' isn't it?"

Vanille blushed to the question.

"Well, I call her 'nee-san', and she hates it." The man behind Serah cut in. He almost said it hatefully, probably because he was frustrated by the fact that she wouldn't allow him to call her so? Still rubbing his cheek, he continued, "I'm Snow by the way."

The girl nodded and smiled in return, "Nice to meet you." Getting a wonderful grin from the man in return, well, now Vanille could definitely say that he did not _look _unfriendly.

"Let's not stand here all day," Serah suddenly said, "Shall we take a seat?"

Vanille nodded again. "Sure," And she followed the girl to the white sofa… the same sofa where she and Lightning almost—

"I'm going to get some ice," The blonde man said as he headed to the kitchen, turning on the lights in the darkened room at the same time. It was obvious that he has been in this house before; otherwise he would not be so familiar with the location of the switches. "It's hurting so damn much… you guys have ice, right?"

"Y-yeah…!" She snapped back to reality. Thinking too much about _that_ would only make these two think strangely of her. "There's a lot in the freezer," She finished.

His back against the ladies who were already sitting on the sofa, Snow searched away the said freezer. "Thanks!" His cheerful voice bounced off the walls in the flat.

Right. To say that he looked unfriendly was totally a mistake. Despite his humungous body-size, this man spoke with a tone of teenager. Wait… who was he anyway? He wasn't included in the family portrait, and he looked _nothing_ like the Farron sisters, so… maybe he was a distant relative of some sort?

"Don't mind him," Serah said, making Vanille turn around, "He's grinning, so he should be fine now…" Her eyes dropped to the floor, "… it isn't the first time this has happened anyway." Her voice trailed off weakly before she looked back up at the redhead, "So, how did you meet onee-chan?"

"Eh?"

"I mean, I'm wondering because onee-chan rarely brings people home, so you must be special."

Vanille gasped, "No – no! It's nothing like that, I'm just…!" She paused; Serah was… giggling?

"I'm sorry…" She cleared her throat, "I was just joking around – I didn't mean to offend you or anything, but…"

"…"

Her giggle turned into a smile, and her body loosened up. "I can't believe you stopped her,"

Oh, right. Come to think of it, Serah was begging her to the point where she was almost crying, but the woman did not ultimately stop until _she_ called to her. The thought of it made blood rush up her head; Vanille clenched her fingers together and looked down at her lap.

The redhead's tense actions and flushed cheeks only widened Serah's smile. "Or perhaps she's special to _you_?"

Her head snapped up, and she waved her hands desperately again, denying her theory. "No…! She's just…" _She isn't?_ A voice – her own voice – resonated in her ears. Why did she have to deny it? Looking back up at Lightning's younger sister, she gave her a look of doubt, "… I don't know if it's appropriate to say that she's someone 'special' to me yet."

"Hmm," Serah crossed her arms, "Well, I can tell you, knowing onee-chan, you're definitely someone special to her." The light in Vanille's green eyes returned; her words have caught all of the redhead's attention. She went on, "Nobody was ever able to stop her from being like that… like, how you saw her, moments ago…" The smile disappeared from Serah's face naturally, "Have you ever seen her like this?"

Vanille shook her head, "No, this was the first time…" She probably should ask more – not because she was curious, but because she had a feeling that it was important to know. More specifically, it was because she wanted to know more about Lightning. "Why did she give you such a big reaction? You're… her sister, aren't you?"

"You're saying she should be happy to see me?"

She nodded.

"That's never going to happen."

Vanille tilted her head slightly. _What did she just say? _For her to answer so straightforwardly, everything was getting odder. She kept quiet and listened.

"It's… quite complicated…" The younger girl forced a smile back onto her face, "You see, onee-chan doesn't… she doesn't approve of our marriage."

"Marriage…?" Vanille looked behind herself, at the man who was filling ice into a plastic bag. Then, she slowly turned back to Serah, who was simply prolonging that forced smile of hers'. _What!_ Her eyes widened. She could swear that she almost said that out loud.

The younger girl chuckled again. "Yeah, I know. It's unbelievable…"

Vanille was seeing stars by now.

"That's why I ran away."

For a moment, her jaws dropped slightly. It was almost as if she were solving a complicated math question, because everything in her mind went blank. Right now, she could only picture Lightning and Serah arguing. She had no idea how it truly went, but for some reason, she could just see them fighting.

"Vanille-san?"

And then she finally pushed the words out of her mouth, "I-I'm sorry, you… onee – ugh – L-Lightning disapproved of your marriage, and so you… you ran away?" She could hear anger in her own voice. Yeah, strange, _anger_ – she could hear anger.

_Why anger…?_

She remained smiling and answered, "Half and half,"

The redhead blinked.

"I used the excuse of a marriage to run away from onee-chan."

"Wha…?" She was getting dizzy. This was all too confusing.

"It's hard to understand," Serah started to fiddle with her globe-like silver necklace, "But… if I didn't leave any time soon, onee-chan would probably have gone insane…"

Vanille clenched her fists. "What…"

"She's too caught up with the responsibility of taking care of me,"

"What are you…" She was unable to speak clearly.

_What was this? Why was she feeling so…_

Serah continued, "She would throw away everything, just for me. I can't bear to—"

"What right do you have…?" Finally, the voice she was searching for projected through her gritted teeth.

_She was feeling so…_

"Eh?"

"What right do you have to just _leave_ her like that!" Vanille asked – _screamed _– and glared at the girl.

… _angry._

Ignoring that shocked expression on her, she went on, "If she's going to go insane, then shouldn't you stay with her! Shouldn't you look after her? She's been looking after you all this time; isn't it natural for you to do the same?"

"You don't understand—"

Unable to hold herself down, Vanille stood up, "And then for you to come back without warning – wouldn't _that_ drive her insane!"

"Vanille-san…" Serah stood up with the girl. Her hands were in a position that indicated she wanted to calm Vanille down, but was not sure whether it was right to do so. Deep down, she knew that she deserved this – she _wanted_ someone to yell at her like this.

"Onee-san would burst if she heard the slightest sound of your name… because she missed you _that _much…!" Getting nervous, she clenched onto her shirt at her chest. "So much… to the point where she doesn't even know whether it's love or hate she has towards you…! So much that she… would lose herself…"

Shutting her eyes, "I know…" She whispered.

"Then why…?"

Serah sighed. Taking a deep breath, she began, "Coming back was completely stupid, I admit that…"

"Nee-san is her only family. Serah only came back because she missed her." The two turned to the kitchen. Snow was leaning against the refrigerator on his back, and held a package of ice, rubbing it on his bruised cheek. "Even if she said that she was leaving her, Serah can never do it."

The younger girl nodded. "Vanille-san…" She eyed her sadly, "It's all very simple, but in a way, extremely absurd. I am… like a prison to her."

"…" Her shoulders relieved themselves, though her fists were still clenched. "Prison…?"

"She is weighed down by the responsibility of taking care of me." Slowly, Serah sat back down onto the sofa, "My onee-chan, she… she doesn't know how to express herself. She doesn't know how to do anything _for_ herself."

As she listened, Vanille's breath began to even out, though her heart was still pounding painfully against her chest.

"She thinks about nothing but me; I am put ahead of anything and everything. It's almost like onee-chan doesn't have any purpose in life other than to take care of me. I kept telling her that I'm fine, I'm grown up now, I can take care of myself, but… ever since my parents died, she's been like this." Serah hid her face in her palms, "Onee-chan tries to grow up quickly, so she threw away her childhood – even her name – all, for me."

The pain in her chest was increasing. Soreness, straining… it hurt. The more she heard about their story, the more it hurt.

"… _They were the ones who left. I couldn't control it."_

Yes, that was what Lightning told her yesterday morning. Vanille did not fully understand before, but now, it all made sense.

"She acts like she's strong…" Serah shook her head and smiled to herself weakly as she thought about her sister, "She doesn't show it, but she's actually a very sensitive person." Looking back at the redhead, she went on, "Like, before, you saw; she would shatter – or literally go out of control if things do not go her way."

In her head, a different clip played; this time it was a replay of what happened just minutes before, when Lightning was still present. Yeah, it wasn't just this time. That one incident on the beach too – the woman could have broken Yuj's wrist had she not call to her and stopped her.

"That's why I left her," Serah said quietly, "I don't want to see her go mad for me. I want her to be free, but I don't know any other way to give it to her. Onee-chan is too innocent. She is too selfless…"

"Serah, that's enough," Snow placed the icepack down and headed towards the living room.

Ignoring his words, the younger girl continued, "… So selfless she gets…" She shook her head, "I only called her selfish to anger her, so she would let go of me – so she would let go of herself."

Snow placed his hands on her shoulders, "Hey…"

The girl responded by holding onto his hands. It was her way of telling him that it was necessary to go on. Looking up at Vanille, she explained, "With time, you'll see. Onee-chan is always so strict and serious on the surface, but deep down, she is only a child."

* * *

The skies were completely dark by the time Vanille decided to go out and look for her. She said that she was going to be back, but it has been far too long, and she was starting to get worried. Again and again, Vanille tried to reassure herself that someone as calm and mature as Lightning wouldn't do anything stupid, but seeing how out of control she was earlier… and from what Serah told her, she felt that she actually did not know the woman as much as she thought she did.

Though the annual fireworks festival was over, Bodhum was still one of the most popular tour attraction points on Cocoon; which explained why the crowds were so big in this market. Vanille could hardly squeeze herself through all these people. Actually, she didn't even know where she was going with everyone's faces in her way. To put it simply, the redhead was just wandering through them aimlessly, hoping that, out of dumb luck, she would bump into the strawberry-blonde. That complicated conversation she had with Lightning's younger sister… for some reason, it wore her out. It was weird; she didn't do anything that required her to use stamina, but just thinking about her words made her so… so tired.

"_You're not staying?"_

Vanille asked her. She could remember seeing the reluctance in Serah's movements – the girl really did not want to leave.

"_I have to,"_

She was smiling.

"_Onee-chan would never come into this house if I was here."_

If there was some way she could amend the sisters' relationship, if she could just _figure _out some way… Vanille would do anything. It just wasn't right to see them like this. They cared for each other, but were unable to show so much because they both have an invisible barrier that prevented either from… well, _showing _that they loved each other. In Serah's case, it was because she was afraid of being a so-called 'prison' to her sister. In Lightning's case, however complex it seemed, the matter was far more simple; she just could not bring herself to show that she care because she was confused about her feelings. The girl could try consulting Lightning, but the thing was, she would freak out if her little sister's name was mentioned…

"Vanille-san!"

A boy's voice called to her, and she quickly looked into the midst of people surrounding her, searching for a familiar face.

"Over here, Vanille-san!" Came the voice again.

She turned to the direction of the sound – it was Maqui, the youngest and most naïve out of the four. Vanille scooted past the crowd, finally making her way near the blonde. "Hi," She greeted as cheerfully as possible, "What brings you—"

"Thank god you're out here!"

"… Hmm?" Vanille tilted her head curiously.

Maqui shook his head. "Since nobody picked up the phone, I was heading towards Light-san's apartment to look for you – something's happened."

She blinked. "What is it?"

"Light-san… she's gone out of control at the bar – nobody can stop her… and we don't want to call in her people from the Guardian Corps – it would ruin her reputation – so Lebreau-san and them sent me to get you there…"

"Onee-san is… out of control?"

The blonde held Vanille by the wrist, "I'll tell you on the way, let's just hurry!"

* * *

"Onee-san!" Vanille burst into the bar. Still panting from all the running, she didn't even bother to catch her breath, and was already looking desperately for the soldier.

"Little miss!"

She looked to the tanned bartender and was about to greet him, until she saw a certain strawberry-blonde resting her head on the counter. Vanille ran to her, and without looking up at Gadot, she started, "Is she okay?"

The man blew upwards, "Oh man, you should've seen her when she was still at it."

The door to the entrance of the bar opened – it was Maqui, completely out of breath. "Va… Vanille-san…"

"Wow, you need to work out more," Gadot joked as he shook his head in pity. He poured two cups of ice-cold water and set them on the counter. "Can't even catch up to a girl?"

Maqui grabbed the cup and gulped the water down greedily right away, but Vanille kept her eyes on the unconscious soldier. She was told by the blonde that 'Light-san took twenty-one shots for her birthday plus a _few_ obligatory ones with random strangers who were hitting on her'. Vanille didn't even want to imagine how much she drank in total; as long as she didn't get alcohol poisoning, then everything would be fine. Placing a palm on the back of the woman's head, she watched as it rose and dropped in sync with her breathing. Then suddenly—

"Who's next…?" The soldier mumbled. Strange, it sounded slightly… animated, enthusiastic, _happy_, jumpy… just completely not 'Lightning-like'.

Vanille had to shake her head to wake herself up. Was she hearing things?

The upper-half of her body sprung up; Lightning's cheeks were flushed red, her eyes tiredly opened, and her hair was messy. Obviously drunk, her weight slouched over to the redhead, who tried to hold onto her so that she wouldn't fall off the stool. "Are you here for me…?" Lightning asked giddily and buried her head in the crook of the girl's neck, giggling into her skin.

Vanille was a bit too surprised to say anything. She could only concentrate on balancing herself and the woman.

"Ugh, damn it." Gadot slapped his forehead and kept his hand there, "I am never going to make Light drink again – _ever_."

"Who knew Light-san can be so hyper when she's drunk?" Maqui laughed.

The taller man rolled his eyes, "Yeah, you're laughing now, but would you want to go through all of _that_ again?"

"Okay, I'm sorry."

Lebreau came out of the 'employees' only' section of the bar, the front of her suit looked obviously soaked. Seeing Lightning's head up again, fear was written all over her face, "Oh god, is she still not wasted?"

"She got back up again," The man answered, his eyes still kept on Lightning. But then a terrible smell reached his nose, and he spun around to the maid, "Shit, you still stink!" He pinched his nose and jumped back a few steps.

"I know, I know!" She blurted, "_You _try getting yourself puked onto! It was hard enough for me to get rid of the stains, forget the freaking smell!"

While the workers were occupied with their silly argument, Lightning was moving around restlessly, making it hard for Vanille to keep her straight. "Onee-san, do you want to go home?" She whispered into her ear.

The soldier responded by wrapping her arms around the girl's neck. At the same time, she moved her head on Vanille's shoulder with annoyance, but it felt as though she was nodding.

"Um… guys, I think onee-san and I are going to go…"

"Yeah, I already called Yuj. He's going to drive you guys back home." The barmaid interrupted.

Gadot gave Vanille a wink, "Can't let two pretty ladies go home by themselves, right? Especially when Light's in that state."

The girl smiled. "Thanks," When Lightning's grip on her suddenly tightened, Vanille naturally held onto the woman's waist.

"By the way, Vanille-san, why didn't you come down here with her? Today's her birthday after all." Maqui leaned on the counter and asked.

Lebreau agreed, "Yeah, we thought you were going to join her soon, but… seeing how you never showed up, we thought you two were having a lovers' quarrel, and then Light's drowned in sadness, so she's drinking—"

"L-lovers—!"

"I was joking," She said in an aloof manner before Vanille reacted any further, "So calm down."

Vanille pouted and looked away. Not only did Lebreau liked to tease the boys and Lightning, it looked like she has become one of her victims as well.

"But seriously, this is the first time I've seen Light like this." The barmaid got back on topic, "Something big must have happened, am I right?"

She knew that she wasn't a very good liar, so it was best to tell the truth, "… I'm sorry, but… I don't think I'm the person you should be asking…" Her hand moved up to Lightning's neck and massaged her with her fingers; the soldier move snugly in her arms. "… Thank you for your concern though, I'm sure onee-san will be pleased if she knew that you are worried for her."

"Meh. Light won't show it even if she is pleased," Gadot waved his hand in one swift motion. "That's just the way she is,"

"Mhmm," Maqui nodded, "So don't get mad at Light-san if she appears… erm, too cold. Y-yeah, she just doesn't know how to… express herself."

The boy's stammering brought the smile back to Vanille's face. It was cute to see how Lightning actually has people who cared for her; so the woman really wasn't all that alone. Actually, she should consider herself lucky.

"Hello?" Lebreau picked up the ringing phone at the counter, "Right, we'll get her out now," And hung up. Then she started again, "Yuj is outside,"

"Okay, little miss," Gadot leaned back and made his way out of the employees' area, "Let's get Light to the car? Yuj will help you on the rest; I have to stay here or Lebreau's going to kick my ass."

"Pft, I would let you help any other day, but there are too many customers today."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah,"

* * *

"Sorry… to make you do this on your day-off…" Vanille apologized as she and the boy laid Lightning down onto her bed.

"Oh, no, don't worry about it!" Yuj laughed, "I was on standby-mode anyway; if any one of them called me I'd head to the bar – it is Light-san's birthday after all." He looked down at the soldier, who was still half-smiling in her sleep. "And it looks to me like she isn't completely wasted yet…"

"Mmm… I'll take care of her," She said as she pulled the covers over the woman's body.

The boy sighed. Seeing how Vanille totally did not care about his presence, he admitted defeat. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, "Well, I'll be leaving now." Seeing any more of this would only bring down his mood even more.

"Yeah," She nodded and stood up. "Thanks for your help – I couldn't have carried her home by myself," Leading Yuj towards the entrance, she watched as he put on his shoes.

He smiled back politely, "Nah, it's nothing." He opened the door, and turned around one last time, "I'll, uh, see you later then?"

"Un, bye-bye!" Vanille waved. As the door slowly closed behind the boy, she couldn't help it but to wonder why he looked so sad. Perhaps he wanted to stay and look after Lightning? No… that shouldn't be it. Maybe… something happened between him and a… girlfriend of his? Yeah, that was probably it. Vanille knew very well that she shouldn't mind too much about other people's businesses, but Yuj was a nice guy, so it was only natural for her to show concern. Her mind too occupied by such thoughts, she did not realize that her feet have already brought her back in the soldier's room – though, the said soldier wasn't present on the bed, nor did it look like she fell off of it. "… Onee-san?"

The door closed lightly behind her.

Vanille spun around.

It was Lightning. She closed the door with her weight, and was now leaning on it casually. Her eyes half-opened, her cheeks still flushed, she had this… _sly_ smile on her face. It looked almost malicious, but… more so seductive. "Hey there," She purred softly and approached the girl.

Scared, and completely not used to the current Lightning Farron, all Vanille could do was step back. "Onee… san…?"

Seeing how the girl was escaping, the woman's instant reaction was to speed up. Coming at the redhead at a quicker pace, she soon trapped her against the wall at the other end of the room, with her arms on either side of Vanille's head. Maintaining that rare expression, she leaned into the side of her neck, inhaling her scent at the same time. "Don't run away from me," She hummed flirtatiously.

Blood was rushing up her head for obvious reasons. Vanille shook away the weird thoughts and held onto Lightning's biceps, trying to brush her arms off, "Onee-san, you're drunk… please, lie down…"

"I'm not drunk, here, _you_ are!" She argued childishly. Even her tone was playful and was not like her usual serious one. "And I said don't go!" By now, her lips were brushing against Vanille's ear. She started to whisper, "… Why… why are you so nice to me…?"

Feeling her hot breath against her sensitive skin, the girl began to tremble. Her hands that were holding onto the woman loosened, as they slowly made their way to rest on the strawberry-blonde's shoulder.

"Don't be…" Lightning took a step closer, their bodies now pressing against each other, "… Otherwise… I'll…"

Vanille shut her eyes tightly. She could smell the heavy alcohol emitting from her body, she could feel her skin, her breasts, and her knee… her knee that was trying to push her legs apart. "Onee… san…" She whispered. Breathing properly was out of the question, as her weight was pressing her down so much that her lungs could not expand properly.

Lightning's lips nibbled at the girl's jawbone. Slowly, gradually, she made her way to Vanille's chin. Pausing momentarily, she blew at her pink lips. "Do you like me?" She made her voice extra childish and high-pitched as she looked at the girl with puppy-eyes.

Her eyes snapped open and she looked at her immediately upon hearing that daring question. But seeing her with such a cute and innocent look, all Vanille knew was that she wanted to give the soldier a hug. Who knew that Sergeant Farron would be so childish and uncharacteristically talkative when drunk? Most likely, no one did, since Lebreau and the boys did mention that nobody has ever seen her drunk – as she has an incredibly high alcohol tolerance level. Perhaps even the woman herself has never been drunk. Smiling, the girl reached up to cup Lightning's reddened cheek. "Do you even know what you're asking me?" She knew it was a pointless question, but how often could Vanille see this woman at her inebriated state?

"I'm not drunk."

She giggled. "Okay,"

Lightning leaned down to kiss the girl's exposed neck, mumbling, "I'm not drunk," again and again in the process.

The feeling of the woman's lips against her skin was too much; Vanille couldn't take any more of this. Her grip on the woman's shoulders tightened. "Onee-san…! Y-you need to stop…"

Her hands roamed freely around the girl's slender body – from her neck to her slim waist, down to her thighs… "Do you…?"

Vanille tried her hardest to listen, but this sensation—

Lightning tugged at the girl's skin with her teeth, instantly leaving red bite marks. Then, without warning, she lifted the girl up by her thighs with ease, and threw her, along with herself, onto the bed right beside them. Pinning Vanille down by the wrists, their gaze automatically locked themselves together. The girl, surprised, or, more like _horrified_ by her actions, lied there, stunned. Lightning, desperate for an answer, stared blankly down at those emerald eyes. "Do you?"

"Onee-sa—aah!"

She was cut off short as the woman started to nudge her knee at the area between her legs. She has released one of her wrists so that her hand could continue to explore the girl's upper body. Sliding under that pink tank top, Lightning stroked and felt, squeezed and massage, she caressed Vanille's breast through her bra as the girl moaned uncomfortably; she struggled to break away, but it was useless as Lightning's weight was trapping her down completely.

Vanille forced her eyes opened to look at the strawberry-blonde. The woman whom she admired so much, whom she adored, she… she was doing the same things as those men… and—

Lightning bent down to the girl's ear, "Do you like me?" Her voice was becoming more than desperate, "I just… I just… want…" She released her wrist. Her free hand made its way down to the girl's white short-shorts; Lightning unzipped them easily, almost as if she were an expert at it. Then, to the girl's surprise, the woman started to pull onto them, tugging at the hems furiously.

She squirmed to escape from her grasp as Lightning's hand under her tank top attempted to get rid of the bra. Vanille bit onto her lower lip to hold back her moans, "Stop… stop… please stop…!" She begged.

With that, "Oh…?" The soldier halted her movements. "You… you don't like this…?" She instantly released the girl, but collapsed onto her right after. Her mouth once again beside Vanille's ear, Lightning started weakly, "I…"

Catching her breath, she turned hesitantly to the woman. Vanille was near tears—

_All those memories…_

—What she wanted to do most was to push Lightning's hand out of her tank top, and the knee that was still in between her legs… "Onee-san…"

Lightning's eyes were closed. Her peaceful, sweet, sleepy face has come back, and the girl was glad to see that. "Vanille…"

The girl shifted her position slightly so she could face the woman. She waited for her to continue. It wasn't like she could forget about what happened just now, but more importantly, she couldn't stand leaving such a helpless and out-of-character Lightning alone. Vanille watched as her lips moved soundlessly. She moved in closer to listen – or, hopefully, to read her lips.

But this time, it could be heard, "I just…" Her eyebrows twitched with anxiety, making her look even more like a frightened and helpless child, "… want you to… to… hold me…"

Vanille froze. Her heartbeat increased again, this time even more so, as she could hear the sounds of it. Other than that, she could also feel it pounding violently against the woman's hand. Though, unlike before when she was scared, this time… this time, it was because she wanted to cry.

"_With time, you'll see. Onee-chan is always so strict and serious on the surface, but deep down, she is only a child."_

So she snuggled closer to the soldier, and wrapped her arm around that _delicate _figure. Lightning's head was buried in her shoulder, and Vanille held her close with her other hand. She closed her eyes, and she herself hid in the woman's soft pink hair, "I'm here," Vanille replied softly.

* * *

**_This has got to be the hardest chapter to write so far. _**

**_I don't know if I'm crossing the T line to the M section for that LV scene, but to me, this stuff is pretty T lol. _**

**_Tell me what you think, because I am definitely going to come back to fix this chapter up. So, please review! :D_**


	9. Serah

Chapter 9 - Serah

The burning heat in the air, her heavy and spinning head, her aching muscles… it was as if everything in the world was preventing her from keeping those eyes closed. Lightning groaned and squirmed uncomfortably before finally prying them open. The morning brightness in her room struck her eyes like metal pins, and she was forced to shut those eyelids again. Lightning could hardly control what she wanted to do. Her top priority was to turn on the air conditioner because it was so stuffy, but at the same time, she wanted water, badly. Her throat felt like a desert, her head felt like scrambled eggs, and her stomach was behaving as if she drank tanks of gasoline. To put it more simply, Lightning felt like she was dying. She would much rather put a bullet through her head right now. Still…

_Why is it so freaking hot!_

It was only mid-spring, yet her room felt like a microwave.

_What the hell is with this thick air!_

Yes, it had to be her AC… it must have died or something.

_What the hell happened!_

… Right, _what_ happened?

Sledgehammers were working in her brain, and she couldn't recall what she wanted to know. Frustrated, she began to squirm about. Her strong legs were the first pair of limbs to obey her will; a leg stretched to the end of the bed, and a knee began to rub against something _oddly_ warm—

"Hnn…"

… Lightning was very sure that she did not make that sound, as it came from right in front of her, followed by a cool breath of air.

_Oh no…_

The brave soldier finally had the strength to snap her eyes open, but all she could see was blurry, white – orange…

_Orange…?_

She blinked several times to adjust—

… _Orange curly pigtails… V-Vanille…?_

Her eyes remained opened. The pain in her head was getting to her, but she kept her eyes opened. In front of her was the redhead, sound asleep, their faces mere inches apart. Lightning was very sure that this was just a dream, but instincts told her that she had to get away from this situation. With luck, she somehow managed to pull her knee away from Vanille without making the girl flinch. But when she tried to move her hand, she noticed that it was touching something extremely… smooth and soft? Her eyes wandered everywhere _– she couldn't feel where her hand was as her body was numb as hell _– until she saw an unnatural bump underneath Vanille's pink tank top, and then—

_Oh fuck!_

Lightning stopped herself from cursing out loud. The last thing she wanted to do was to wake her. But to see her own hand in Vanille's shirt, to have her own hand cupping Vanille's breast, to _feel_ Vanille's softness—

_What the hell did you do last night!_

—And then there was her knee that was nudging against the area between the girl's legs…

_You're in deep shit._

God damn it. That pounding pain increased by tenfold. Now, it felt like she was being whammed at the head by a giant metal hammer. And that disgusting feeling in her stomach, chest, and throat too… she was going to throw up if she didn't get something to drink soon…

"Nnn…" The redhead moaned again. Her eyeballs rolled from side to side under her eyelids.

Lightning gasped. She had to pull out of Vanille… she had to, otherwise… well, otherwise she wouldn't be able to face the redhead anymore.

_Anyone but Vanille._

Slowly and carefully, as painful as her head was, Lightning gathered the little concentration she had left to slide out of the girl's tank top. Her palm slithered down Vanille's smooth abdomen, unintentionally feeling that flat stomach at the same time.

"Hehe… stop it…" She squirmed slightly and giggled in her sleep.

As if this wasn't hard enough for her, Lightning began to sweat. The pain intensified, and so much blood gushed up to her brain, she felt as though her head weighed a few hundred pounds. Hearing Vanille talk like that… _oh god…_ her face must be burning in deep crimson by now. A part of her wanted to look at that cute sleeping face, but a part of her was saying that this was wrong. She could touch, kiss, or sleep with anyone she wanted, but no…

_Anyone but Vanille._

Yet Lightning made the same mistake. Her eyes _– desire – _just couldn't be controlled; they were attracted, like magnets, onto the redhead's sleeping face. Everything about this innocent girl was so mysterious… was this the reason why she felt _this _way towards her? Was it merely an element of mysteriousness? Lightning had no idea. Instead of pulling her hand out of the girl's shirt as planned, she moved it back up and held onto her waist lightly. Leaning forward, she had the intention of pecking her on the lips, because what they couldn't do yesterday… she could do it now… Lightning could do it now…

_Anyone but Vanille._

… Now was a good time… yet…

_"… They held me down." Her fingers dug into her thighs, clawing at her white flesh, "I couldn't move,"_

She shut her eyes. "No." Lightning whispered.

_No._

As a person who had toyed with so many people's feelings just for the sake of satisfying her own needs, the woman knew that this was exactly the same. This urge to kiss the girl – it all must be, _had to be, _her uncontrollable, overwhelming selfishness. And Lightning knew that she couldn't possibly hurt this girl; the feelings that she predicted she had for Vanille… she thought they were "love", but… no, it couldn't be love. Most likely, she was just being selfish again. Why the hell not? Even Serah said that she was—

"_You never talk, you never listen, you're always so selfish…"_

Serah's sobbing voice rang in her ears.

_Wait – Serah—_

"_Snow!"_

… That huge reaction when she punched her so-called 'fiancé'…

"_No!"_

… And she didn't even listen. She didn't even listen to her only little sister.

"_Onee-chan, please stop!"_

Right, everything came back now. She could remember that after throwing those punches at Snow, she headed straight for the bar, and then she – "Ugh…" Lightning groaned in shame. Such a proud soldier as herself lost to alcohol… somebody who was known to be invulnerable to alcohol became drunk… what nonsense. She took her eyes off Vanille's face, and glided down to her neck, and to her surprise…

_Red bite marks… wait, hickeys!_

Yes. She could see at least two on the girl's white skin. Her eyes moved lower—

"Oh shit…" The words slipped past through her gritted teeth. Wait… but even though Vanille looked so… violated, the woman was pretty sure that they couldn't have gone _too_ far last night. Knowing herself, the girl would probably be naked right now if they actually did. No, no… who could say for sure, though? She _was _drunk, and… anything could have happened –_ugh…_ _god damn_, who was she trying to kid? This, obviously, was just her way of shoving her problems aside.

_Irresponsible. _

Lightning tried hard to dig out a memory… a piece, a fragment of a 'clip' of whatever happened. She needed to know… what did she do to the girl? How… how _could_ she do this to Vanille!

"Onee… san…"

Another moan escaped her lips. It gathered up Lightning's attention, and reminded her of where the position of her hand was—

Vanille's eyes started to open tiredly.

—but she was completely stunned, frozen, and could not find the single bit of strength to move—

Her droopy green orbs slowly focused onto the familiar face in front of her.

Lightning swallowed hard. Should she pretend to be asleep? No… she was moving too much – probably, trembling in fear – actually, she wouldn't know; this was all too sudden.

_What… who is this person…? _

Vanille's brows furrowed slightly; she was pretty sure that she waited until Lightning fell asleep first, and then she—

_Oh no._

—And then she told herself that she would move elsewhere to sleep. But, realizing that she did not actually do as she thought she would, her eyes immediately snapped open.

That sudden change in expression was more than enough to throw the woman back. She fell off the bed, landing with a hard _thud _onto the ground.

Alarmed, Vanille sprung up and got off the bed as well, with the intention of helping her, "I-I'm so sorry!" She knelt down beside her.

Great. Not only did she have a hangover, but she was probably going through the most awkward and worst situation she was ever going to go through in her life. Lightning could only pray that the feeling in her stomach won't get to her, because she really did not want to puke…

"Here, let me help you…" The girl pulled the soldier's toned arm over her shoulders. Now sitting up, she supported Lightning by holding onto her back.

Ashamed of that pathetic tumble, Lightning drew her arm back and looked everywhere but at her eyes. Her vision then accidentally shifted to Vanille's loose shorts, though… and those milky-pink panties that were exposed. A deeper shade of pink spread across her cheeks as she turned to clear her throat. "Uh… y-your clothes…"

"Eh?" The girl looked down at herself.

A sharp gasp was heard. From all the panicky-shuffling noises, Lightning could picture Vanille fixing her clothes clumsily. Her imagination was vivid enough to tell her that the whole scene was cute, and that she had to look, but her willpower was telling her to stay still.

… _How ridiculous._

She wasn't embarrassed when Vanille ran out of the shower in a towel, nor was she embarrassed when she had to patch her up from that wound… but… _this_! Why the hell was she acting like a coward begging for mercy in a dumb situation like this! Why was she being so weak and scared? The soldier held onto her forehead, rubbing her temples at the same time. She couldn't believe what she was doing – no, she couldn't believe what she was _not_ doing. Where did that strict and serious front she has built up for so many years go? Gathering herself together, Lightning apologized calmly, "Sorry,"

"No…! Um…!" It was all said without hesitation. She fiddled with the zipper of her shorts, and managed to put them back on properly with those trembling fingers. "You… didn't…"

Her fingers stopped massaging. "… Didn't…?"

"I mean…!" She fixed her bra underneath her shirt back to place and then looked up at Lightning, who couldn't bring her head up. She continued quietly, "I mean… nothing happened."

Lightning pulled her hand away and stared at it blankly, as if testing her hangover-vision, "Nothing?" She then dropped it in her lap. "Are you sure?"

"…"

"_Do you like me?"_

Unforgettable words from the night before.

"Vanille…?"

She could still picture, she could still _feel_ the entire thing.

"_Do you like me?"_

"Onee-san…"

_I do._

Finally, Lightning turned back to the girl. She responded, "What is it?"

_I really do._

Vanille smiled slightly, "To be honest…" Her emerald orbs rolled to the corner of the room, "You… really did want to… y'know…"

The woman gulped.

"… But when I told you to stop, you stopped."

Confused, she raised a brow. "What…? But your clothes…?"

Her cheeks flushed crimson, "Y-you passed out right after, and I was too tired to… like… move… s-so… your hands were still… um…" Vanille really wished she could stop stuttering.

Wow, she could be this merciful when drunk? Lightning found this rather amusing. "You're sure?"

Somewhat frustrated that she wasn't being believed, Vanille pouted. "I… I was the one who watched you fall asleep… if anything had happened, I'd know…"

Disappointed in herself and, in no doubt, relieved at the same time, she shook her head before apologizing once again. "Sorry."

"It's… fine."

Lightning stood up, completely forgetting about that major pain in her head.

Naturally, Vanille stood up with her, still worried whether she could stand straight or not.

And, quite obviously, Lightning could not. She fell forward, getting caught in the girl's arms right on time before collapsing onto the floor. Vanille used her own body as a support for the taller woman's ragdoll-like one, wrapping her arms around her slim waist subsequently. "Uh… um…" The last action was done out of reflex – there were no hidden motives at all. But even someone as slow as her could feel this awkward and heavy aura; the redhead thought fast and started, "Onee-san, d-do you need something? I can help you…"

_How embarrassing._

Lightning's body tensed up. She probably hasn't felt this weak and useless since… actually, she couldn't remember the last time she felt this way. And by 'weak and useless', she didn't mean her current half-dead state; rather, it was this strange… fuzzy feeling in her heart. To be held by the girl like this, to be so close… Lightning might—

No response was heard, as predicted; nor did the woman give her any gestures. Vanille could only stand there to improvise. Perhaps her headache was preventing her from speaking? Perhaps she was taking her time to regain her balance? Something must be going on, because Lightning hated close contact like this.

—Lightning might be unable to control herself. She swallowed hard, and fought with ever pounding pain from every part of her body with all her will. She pulled back – if only she could see clearly right now, if only that god damn hangover wasn't in her way, the soldier would simply walk away, but right now… "Why…?"

The girl's bright emerald eyes met the woman's half-lidded azure ones.

While she still had a hint of out-of-character-ness within her, while she still had the courage to ask, while these conflicting emotions still pumped through her veins, Lightning continued, "Why are you so nice to me?"

"_Why are you so nice to me?"_

An echo of those words. She was repeating the words from last night.

"I'm always so selfish, so out of control, and I never talk—"

Not only were words, but the same thoughts, feelings, and even this intimacy…

"Don't waste your kindness on someone like me," Lightning went on, her mellow voice adding weight to the air.

"No…"

"I might end up… hurting you…"

Vanille shook her head, refusing to take in Lightning's confessions. "Onee-san, no…" She rested her forehead onto the woman's shoulder, "You wouldn't. Other people in this world would, but you wouldn't." Her arms around Lightning's waist tightened, as if scared that she might run away.

"Vanille…"

"You're not selfish." The girl said.

"I—"

"You wouldn't be telling me all of this if you really were selfish."

"…"

"Onee-san," Her arms slowly moved up; she rewrapped them around Lightning's neck and pulled her close, "You don't show it, you try to hide it, but your smallest actions give everything away,"

"What are you—"

"They show that you actually care." The girl finished.

"You're wrong." She denied instantly.

"I'm not wrong." Vanille interrupted with confidence, "I know what I know, and I know that onee-san will never hurt me." She stroked the back of the strawberry-blonde's head, her touch as light as feathers.

Lightning wasn't giving in, for even she was afraid of her own flaws. "Vanille…" She said as she pulled away. Even with the horrible blurry vision she had right now, she could still see those deep red bite marks on the girl's neck. She brought a hand up and traced them with her fingertips, the coldness of her skin made Vanille jump. "I did this…" Lightning whispered, almost with guilt. "Vanille, I…" She was cut off by a series of flashbacks – they played in her mind – all the people she has slept with, all their faces were reappearing, and it was then she realized that never once had she thought about what they felt for her. When she was with them, she just wanted what she wanted, and when she was done, she would simply leave.

_So how?_

"… How am I not selfish…?"

The redhead sighed. She leaned in closer, giving this doubtful woman a proper embrace. "You're not selfish to the people you care about. I think that's all that matters."

"…"

"Even Serah…" Vanille cut her off. She could feel Lightning twitch in her arms upon mentioning the word 'Serah', "Even she said that you aren't selfish."

Lightning couldn't help it but to snicker. "Don't make me laugh," She said bluntly, "She left because I'm selfish, she left because she couldn't stand me and my fucked up personality. She told me loud and clear that I was selfish." Brushing the girl's arms off herself, she turned and made her way drowsily to the door.

Vanille clenched her fists, tight. "That's not true…"

Hearing the weak voice behind her, Lightning stopped moving.

"… It's not because she couldn't stand you," The girl decided from the night before that she was going to amend their relationship, and that was exactly what she was going to do, _now_.

She turned around, eager for more explanations.

But she knew that she had to do this slowly, for the woman was extremely sensitive after all. "Serah left because she wanted you to stop dwelling in the past." Before she could get a clear view on Lightning's reaction, she went on, "She told me that your selflessness held you down; you would sacrifice anything and everything for her. Serah said that she didn't want that… she didn't want you to do everything for her. She wanted you to be happy and think for only yourself. She didn't want to be your prison."

Lightning huffed, "Selflessness?" A sound of annoyance escaped through her nose.

"She wanted you to put down your responsibility, and that's why she left you."

The woman remained still and speechless.

She could only define Lightning's silence as 'pissed off', "I'm… sorry… for saying all of this…" Vanille apologized immediately.

"Just go on." It was an order. She said it almost as if it was because she did not accept the girl's apology.

"Onee-san…" She liked Lightning. The girl liked Lightning a lot, but she would still be intimidated by her, especially under these circumstances. She swallowed and continued, "This would all become clearer if you talked to her in person."

Lightning smirked coldly at her comment, "Why would I look for her if she ran away for my own good?"

Vanille blinked. Alright, the soldier can be very stubborn as well. "Why do you think she came back?" She countered.

"Tch," The woman looked even more annoyed now. "The hell if I know."

"Hmm…" Obviously, Lightning _knew_; there was no way she wouldn't know – she was a clever and bright person after all… why else would she have made it to the rank of a sergeant at this young of age? Was it solely because she was a good fighter? Or was it because of her skills of being able to coordinate missions and have strategic tactics that most definitely outsmarted every single target she's encountered? Vanille would bet on the latter. Even so, despite being such a keen person, Lightning would still lose to her tenacious personality – that was her only form of weakness. "It's very simple, if you think about it…"

She turned to the redhead, her expression as gentle as always. "What do you mean? This is annoying the hell out of me." Lightning finished with a grunt.

Vanille giggled, covering her mouth with a fist. "She's your sister,"

"…" The strawberry-blonde did not know how to reply. _Is it really that simple?_ Lightning wanted to believe it, but for the most part, she couldn't bring herself to do it.

Seeing the confusion in the woman, the girl started, "Onee-san, didn't you think that she acted a bit… 'out of character' before she ran away?"

That annoyed expression on her faded away; Lightning was now trying very hard to remember… she tried to remember everything that happened nine months ago.

"I mean, Serah doesn't seem like the type to run off impulsively _and_ throw hurtful words at you … To me, she's just a simple, innocent, and kind girl."

Right, Serah has never _ever_ spoken to her like that, let alone yell.

"To act so cruelly towards you, onee-san, I think she just wants you to forget about her…"

Lightning held onto her forehead; all of this was adding weight to her headache. "Ridiculous…" She spat.

Vanille shook her head. "The feeling of hatred is the ultimate barrier between you and her. Knowing that you'd be mad and wouldn't forgive her for doing such things, Serah finally… let's say, 'released' you out of that so-called prison?" She went on, "Still, she couldn't fight past her love for you. You _are_ her only family. You _are _the person whom she loves the most."

And those words hit her like a bullet. All this time, she thought her little sister hated her, but she actually…

"That's why she came back."

_No more._ "Vanille,"

The girl responded by slowly walking towards her.

"I…"

She took the soldier's hand, surprising her. "Do you want me to go with you?"

Lightning simply looked away and nodded slightly.

Vanille smiled brightly at that cute and child-like response, "But don't you want to wait until your hangover goes away first?"

"No," The woman answered. She looked into the girl's eyes with determination, "I want to do it now."

* * *

Somehow, Vanille successfully convinced Lightning to eat, shower, change, and most importantly, get enough rest before going out. It was kind of odd that the woman would drop her desperation and listen so obediently, despite being in a hurry to get this over with. Perhaps Lightning didn't want her sister to see her all filthy and beat up – the soldier _was _a woman after all, and women always put their personal hygiene ahead of everything else. Still, it was rather quick of that hangover of hers' to subside; maybe it was all thanks to her intense military training? The girl imagined Lightning throwing graceful movements when sparring with other soldiers. In her mind, the woman's fighting style looked more like dancing – dodging and jumping, running and pivoting… everything was done in style, in the swiftest ways – everything was so perfect, the word 'flaw' did not exist in her motions.

"Vanille," The soldier broke the silence.

She turned to the woman beside her, who was staring blankly ahead. "Hmm? What is it?"

Lightning sighed before answering, "I'm… quite stubborn, aren't I?"

The girl had to admit, those words from her were probably the last thing she'd ever expect to hear from her. This woman was always so proud, strong, and full of herself, so… what was this all of a sudden? Vanille blinked several times before answering, "Uh… um…" She coughed, "Well… not… most of the time."

"You mean, 'most of the time', _not '_not most of the time'."

She chuckled nervously, "Hehe… you… only act stubbornly when you have to deal with things that relate to yourself. During other times, you behave quite normally."

Her blue eyes rolled to the girl, "Normal?"

"Mhmm…"

"Hn, I'm anything _but _normal." She countered coldly.

"Oh, don't say that," Vanille laughed, "Everybody has a unique and distinct personality, so it's really hard to define what is normal, and what's not. Yours is probably more normal than mine; it just depends on how you see it."

"Tch."

The door to the elevator finally opened. They arrived at their destined floor. Vanille immediately noticed that Lightning's body stiffened; she was afraid to go out. The girl remembered: she was here to help her, and that was exactly what she was going to do. She reached for the woman's hand and gripped it lightly, instantly grabbing Lightning's attention.

Question marks were written all over the soldier's face. _What was this girl playing at?_

Vanille simply responded to her confused expression with a warm smile. "I'm with you,"

She softened up. Even if it was just the slightest bit, that nerve-wrecking feeling died down. This was perhaps the safest, the most reassuring, and the most encouraging feeling she has felt in her life. She couldn't really explain it, for she was unsure, but Vanille… this mysterious redhead could do the strangest things to her, and yet she wouldn't be annoyed. Like, right now, if it were anybody else who took her hand like this, the soldier would most definitely have punched them square in the face already.

"Onee-san?"

Snapping back into reality, Lightning took a deep breath before her fingers decided tighten their grip on Vanille's hand.

The two walked down the narrow corridor in silence. This apartment was evidently smaller and less fancy compared to the soldier's but it wasn't a bad place. Vanille wouldn't mind living here, actually; the downside was just that even indoors, they could hear noises from outside – probably because the location of this apartment was right in the centre of Bodhum's commercial area.

"We're here," She said.

Vanille didn't realize that they stopped walking and were standing in front of a deep crimson-coloured door. Almost right after Lightning said that, she could feel the soldier's grip tighten. Vanille looked at the taller woman, and was reminded that Lightning probably was going through countless complicated emotions in her heart right now, considering how it was actually the hangover and guilt that brought her here, and not her will alone. "Are you okay?"

"…"

"If you don't want to, we can go back…"

She tried to act natural. Shrugging her shoulders, she said bluntly, "I'm here already, so might as well."

The girl nodded lightly. As promised, Vanille came with her to Snow's apartment, where Serah was obviously staying, so that she could act as some sort of 'leash' for the impulsive woman. She released Lightning's hand and pressed the doorbell. They had this all planned out; Vanille was going to be the one to speak if Snow were to open the door – the soldier was afraid that she might lose it again and would punch him, resulting in similar events from last night. If Serah was the one they see first, then Lightning was going to do – _say – _everything.

It felt like she was going to take an exam. The soldier's body, perhaps for the millionth time of the day, tensed up as she stared anxiously at the closed door. It was almost as if… once that door opened, the timer would start, and then she would blank out, and forget all the answers… she would forget everything she wanted to say – everything was going to turn out all messed up—

"Onee-san,"

She shifted her gaze to the timid, cheery, skinny pigtailed girl.

Vanille smiled, "Relax, it'll be okay."

Somehow, her childish voice wasn't as annoying as it used to be. Come to think of it, Lightning actually has forgotten that she used to think that she was annoying—

The sound of the door unlocking caught both girls' attention, "Coming!" came a gentle, girly voice from inside the room. The door swung open easily, a squeaky sound went with its motion, and a wave of coolness from the room blew at the two standing outside. It was Serah who opened the door, and seeing such unexpected guests, that pleasant and somewhat happy expression immediately turned into a shocked and scared one. "H-hi… Vanille-san," She greeted and forced a smile at the redhead, who smiled back naturally, and then turned to Lightning. "Onee… chan…"

The soldier fought the urge to mention anything spiteful. _As if she hasn't done enough. _"Serah," She started coldly.

The younger Farron sibling hesitated to look at her sister directly, but finally did so, purely out of respect. "Do you need something?" She asked softly, completely lacking confidence. She clutched her hands together in front of her lap.

Lightning stayed still. She didn't really know what to say, after all. She thought that she could go through this whole thing through improvisation… but apparently, that wasn't going to work out.

Vanille pursed her lips with irritation. Man, the two really need some help in amending their relationship – the girl could swear that she was going to yell at them at this rate if they didn't start talking normally. Subtly, she scooted over to Lightning and nudged her arm with her elbow, whispering, "Onee-san! Remember what you're here for!"

She bit onto her tongue. Why, of course she knew why she was here; it was just that she didn't know _what_ to do. Annoyed, she stuffed her hands in her hoodie's pockets. Maybe she should start by asking how she's been? No, no… that's a bit awkward. How about… asking if she and Snow were doing well? What the hell, that would totally be random—

"D-do you want to come in and have a seat?" Serah finally spoke out.

Lightning flinched. Vanille remained smiling, as everything was up to the soldier.

Seeing her sister's hesitation, she went on, "Don't worry, Snow's asleep, and he's a deep sleeper…"

"It's…" The older strawberry-blonde realized that she suddenly spoke out – which was very unlike her character, "… it's not that." She said, "Let's just talk somewhere else."

The redhead blinked. Well, at least something was working out.

Serah didn't know whether she should be delighted that her sister finally talked back, or should be scared that she _was _talking back. Lightning rarely gave requests, however, so she gave answered right away, "Where would you like to go?"

"Doesn't matter," The soldier's soft voice ironically echoed in the corridor. "Just not here."

"R-right, I'll just… put on my shoes first… please, hold on." The younger Farron sister stammered as she hurried back into the room.

The door closed on its own, and Vanille automatically turned to the woman. "This isn't so bad, is it? At least you're talking."

Lightning agreed, but she didn't find the need to reply.

"I guess there's no point for me to be here, then." Vanille said with a breath of relief.

She snapped her head up, "W-what—"

"I'll wait for you at home—"

Lightning grabbed onto her wrist, cutting her off by surprise. "No," She stared at the girl, those azure eyes screamed in distress, "Don't… I-I… can't…" Even the woman herself found it odd that she would do something so childish. Strangely, she wasn't embarrassed by her actions, because she actually _was _scared.

And although she indeed had an urge to stay with this helpless side of her, Vanille knew what was best to do. Her other hand reached for Lightning's, brushing her off lightly, but held onto its warmth, "Onee-san," She started with her usual smile, "You _can_."

The door reopened, Serah stepped out with her typical attire – red, plaid skirt, black thigh-high stockings, pale ivory boots, on her upper body, she wore her semi-transparent, thin, white, silky sleeveless vest, and likewise, a sleeveless white dress shirt underneath. "S-should we go?" She asked, seeing how the two were practically frozen the moment she came out.

Vanille was the first to react. She pulled away from Lightning, "Oh, man, I think I left something in the house… I'm going to have to run back and get it!"

Lightning glared dangerously at the redhead.

She knew very well that her act was not only sarcastic, but it was, in general, as fake as a child's play. Vanille didn't find the importance in putting too much thought into it, however; as her sole purpose was to leave the soldier with her sister, so that they could talk things through. She took a step backwards before turning to Serah, "It's quite important, so I have to hurry. I'll, um, catch up later, okay?"

The innocent younger sister had no suspicion in her actions, so she nodded and smiled back. "Okay, but do take care."

Before turning around to head for the elevator, Vanille flashed Lightning with a grin.

* * *

The sisters left the apartment, went through the lobby, walked past the heavy crowd in the market, walked to the eastern side of the town – silently. None spoke a single word, for none knew what it was they wanted to talk about. Though, it was probably more important to note that none of them knew where they were going. They simply walked side by side – yet not close at all – aimlessly. Before they knew it, they have reached the end of the small island on its east side. Funny, their legs brought them _home_, as their apartment was right around the corner.

Lightning, however, didn't feel like sitting down or enjoying a cup of tea at home while going through what the sisters have missed in life. Instead, she made her way down the steps that led to the beach casually; its emptiness tempted her, and she figured that it would feel refreshing to look up at those stars that stretched infinitely across the dark sky.

Serah followed her soundlessly, almost as if she were a shadow. She watched her sister step closer and closer to the shoreline, and as they approached it, the sounds of the washing waves became louder. What were they doing here, anyway? The younger pink-haired girl had no idea.

Lightning, wearing sandals, stepped into the waves, and allowed the coolness of the water wash up to her ankles. She took a deep breath, inhaling the natural salt-water smell from the vast, dark ocean.

She couldn't take this silence. There was nobody on the beach at this time, so it wouldn't matter what she was going to say. Serah tugged at the ends of her dress shirt nervously, "Onee-chan…" She started weakly.

Her sister turned her head slightly.

"Onee-chan, I… I…" _Crap. What was it that she was going to say?_

"It's that hard to talk to me, isn't it?" Lightning interrupted softly.

Her voice blended into the tides, but she heard it. Her instant reaction was to counter those words, but being the honest girl she was, Serah knew that couldn't do it. Instead, she looked to her feet and answered, almost in a whisper, "Just… a bit."

"_Just a bit…_ huh?" She repeated and looked up at the night sky. For some reason, she could no longer find the hint of creativity within herself to 'connect-the-dots'. The stars up above looked as bland as streetlights; their beauty no longer mesmerized her like they used to.

"I'm sorry… onee-chan,"

She closed her eyes, head still up. "Don't apologize."

"No, I should have thought it through… and not anger you like that," The younger sister insisted, "It was stupid of me to just run away like that…"

"Serah,"

The younger girl gasped. She hasn't heard that warm voice call her name for such a long time… it felt nice – _nostalgic_. "Yes?"

"Do you hate me?"

She blinked. _What was that…?_

Lightning turned around, finally facing her little sister, "Me and my messed up personality, do you hate them?"

"Wha—"

The woman smirked, "I'd hate me if I were you."

"… No!" Serah took a step forward, "No…! Onee-chan, what are you talking about! How can I hate you?"

She stuffed her hands in her hoodie's pockets again. "To be so damn bossy, to always interfere with your personal life, to be so obsessed about basically _everything_ for you… how can you possibly not hate me?"

"I don't hate you!" She shouted, frustrated that she wasn't being believed. This was one of her sister's negative traits; she never trusted people, all because of her insecurity. "Onee-chan, I don't hate you! It's just that since their accident, you—"

They were both thrown back by her words. To Lightning, Serah's expression right now was saddened, fearful – she was about to cry.

And to Serah, Lightning looked pretty much the same. She went on, "… It's just that… after _that _happened, you've changed so much…"

The soldier looked down at her feet, her attention temporarily taken away by the white tides.

"To take care of me, you… you've done too much…"

"I haven't done enough." She spoke coldly.

Persistent as always, her sister. Serah let out a deep sigh as she approached the taller strawberry-blonde. The waves washed under the soles of her boots, but the girl didn't pay much attention to it. She took Lightning's hand and held onto it tightly. "We were like this back then, too, do you remember?"

She didn't want to, but she certainly did.

"Onee-chan, are you still afraid of the sunset?"

Lightning closed her eyes, her brows furrowed. Clearly, she didn't want to listen to any more of this.

Of course, Serah could her sister's frustration. Yet she chose to continue, "I still am. That day when they left us, we didn't know what to do. We didn't want to go home because we would only think of their faces, so you brought me here." Her grip on her sister's hand tightened, "You held onto my hand like this as I cried, and told me that 'onee-chan is here' with the nicest smile."

"Enough," Lightning grunted through her breath.

"You're—"

"I said stop!" She cried and shook her sister's hand off with force.

The younger sister swallowed. "I just want to say," She took her chances of getting punched, kicked, or anything that would harm her, and approached Lightning, "You're the best onee-chan in the world."

Her body twitched when she heard that.

"So it's impossible for me to hate you." She suddenly dropped that stern look and grinned.

Lightning's face stayed straight. It's been a while since she's seen her show happiness so naturally like this, but she was still unconvinced. Sometimes, the woman wished that she could be more gullible; perhaps then she didn't have to bear this harshly cynical nature that scared away so many. Perhaps then she didn't have to challenge people with her trust.

"But…" Serah stood near Lightning again, "… do you hate me, for leaving you?"

Now wanting to lie, she got straight to the point. "I convinced myself to, but I don't know anymore."

"Why? Why did you _convince_?"

"Because I can't bring myself to _actually _hate you."

The younger sister felt ten times lighter than before. She never figured that this would be so easy; she was expecting a bloodbath… _kind of_, but deep inside of Lighting, kindness and innocence dominated everything else – she just never showed it. Her smile widened, she started randomly, "Onee-chan, you're way more charming like this,"

_What did she just…? _The woman shook her head in shock, "… That was really inappropriate."

Serah giggled playfully. She combed through her side-ponytail out of habit and continued, "Well, I'm just saying… the smallest actions you do can bring you the biggest attention. I use to get really jealous back then when people paid more attention to you even though I was the cuter one…"

The woman grunted.

_"… but your smallest actions give everything away,"_

Vanille's echoing words and her sister's honesty really weren't amusing her. Bringing two fingers up, she pointed them at Serah's forehead, and tapped her lightly, alarming her. "How much cheesier can you get? It's not all that fun reminiscing the past, you know?"

"…" Dumbfounded, the younger sibling reached up to cover her forehead. Then, realizing what her sister just did, she chuckled inanely, "I-I'm not dreaming, am I?"

Lightning raised a brow. Again, she pointed her fingers at Serah's forehead, and this time, she flicked at her lightly.

"Ow – onee-chan!" She whined and rubbed her flicked red spot with her palm, "That hurt!"

She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly, "Does that confirm that you're not dreaming?"

Knowing her sister, Serah reckoned that this was her idea of a joke. She chuckled once more, "Yeah, in a very painful way…"

Lightning gave her a subtle smirk.

And seeing this, Serah could finally loosen up. Turning around, she looked up at Eden, the capital that floated in the western skies of Bodhum. The life-filled, luminous city always blended in with the stars, but it was still quite easy to differentiate it from them. "Onee-chan, you should probably save that smile for someone else."

"… Huh?"

"I mean, like, you should smile more often at _other people." _She was trying to lead her to the answer, as it wasn't fun to just tell her.

"Other people?" Images of a certain pigtailed-redhead flashed across her eyes. She shook to the thought momentarily before glaring at her sister, "What are you talking about?" Lightning tried to remain as calm and collected as possible. Serah was one of the few people who could see through her, so she had to be extra careful when doing even the smallest actions.

Frankly, the younger Farron sister had already 'seen through' her. "Oh, nothing," She hummed innocently, almost in a melodic tune, and clasped her hands together behind from her back. "I was just thinking about the 'dates' you had and always brought home."

Lightning narrowed her eyebrows. She had an idea where her sister was going…

"They always changed…" Serah frowned and turned back to the taller woman swiftly, "Onee-chan, you should really stop it with one-night stands! I thought I told you that you shouldn't play around with people's feelings! Now _that's _unfair."

She wasn't in the mood of listening to her usual scolds. Lightning rolled her eyes and looked away.

Then suddenly, "Vanille-san doesn't seem like a bad person, why don't you—"

"What!" The woman spun around and blurted.

"Oh, come on," She laughed, "You know what I'm talking about."

"No, I don't." Lightning denied childishly and crossed her arms.

_Yes, I do._

Her sister frowned. "Hm, well, have you at least told her your real name yet? You know making her call you 'onee-san' can make people think that you have a sister-complex, right?"

"W-what! I don't make her call me that, she does it herself!"

"Oh, okay." She agreed sarcastically.

Lightning huffed with irritation. "Enough about me," Her arms still crossed, she went on, "I still have to talk to you about _him_. How could you have run off with _him_? I would have been less worried if you ran off yourself, and not with _him_."

Her expression never changed; the smile on her face was still as bright as ever, "Onee-chan…"

"…"

"You think that he's only following me around because… he can take advantage of me or something, right?"

Lightning shrugged her shoulders. "I can't think of any other reasons. Honestly, what can you expect from a pedophile?"

"Pedo—" Serah cut herself off. She started to laugh, almost unnecessarily loud, "Haha! Onee-chan, you think that Snow is – oh man… I'm – hahaha!"

Unsure of what she has said wrong, Lightning turned away. "What the hell is so funny?"

"Okay," The girl calmed herself down by taking a deep, deep breath, "Onee-chan, if it makes you feel any better about him," She tiptoed and leaned into her sister's ear, whispering, "I'm still a virgin."

Her pink locks flicked against Serah's cheeks lightly, as the girl didn't even pull back completely before Lightning spun her head at her. Eyes widened, and jaw dropped, she took a moment to absorb her little sister's words. Serah nodded slowly and surely, confirming that she has indeed said what she just heard, and the soldier looked to the ground, the longest pause was heard before she started, "… Oh…" Scratching her cheek with a finger, she finished, "… I guess… that's alright…"

She couldn't help it but to giggle at her sister's confused reaction, "Yep."

Fine. Her impression of Snow has changed – just the slightest bit, though. Thinking back, she never took the chance to know that man, so it was probably wrong to judge him so soon. But you couldn't blame her; she was just too consumed by her motherly-concern for Serah, and that was why she would turn hostile against anyone who tried to take her sister away from her. "Go back,"

"Hmm?"

Lightning sighed. "It's getting late," She rephrased, "He's probably worried about you."

The younger strawberry-blonde was stunned. She couldn't be positive what her sister just said, so she asked, "Y-you're… you're letting me stay at his place…? You're giving me permission to…?"

She nodded.

And Serah grinned again. She stepped in and embraced her sister, ever so tightly. "Hnnnnnn! Love you! Let's go for a dinner sometime, yes?"

"You're staying here?"

Still hugging Lightning, she broke into a chuckle, "Just for a little while. We've found a place at Eden. Once Snow's done with leaving stuff behind here, we're going to move there."

She didn't want to sound upset or saddened, so she kept quiet.

"But we'll visit, of course." She released the woman. "Anyway, I'll go back now. You probably should head home as well. I think you've worried her enough…"

"Huh? Worried…?"

Serah flutter her eyelids, "I'm… talking about Vanille-san. When you left us alone yesterday, I explained everything to her, and then she yelled at me."

Lightning sulked. "She… yelled at you…?" _Why?_

"Mhmm…" The girl nodded slowly, "… Which only proves how much she cares for you, really." She stepped back, "I think it was rather sweet of her to do it."

"What…?"

Serah could only laugh. "Oh, don't worry about it. Good night, onee-chan, see you soon!" She made her way towards the steps, but before reaching them, she suddenly turned back around, "Remember to tell her your real name! To, like, avoid any misunderstandings. You're pretty popular around here, after all; both famously _and_ infamously!"

The soldier gritted her teeth, "You want me to kill you!" Her voice risen, she asked almost half-threateningly. One thing she couldn't stand was to get defeated by words.

Her little sister stuck out her tongue teasingly, "Not really, no!" She snickered with amusement and ran up the stairs.

And seeing Serah run off like that, seeing the little sister whom she has taken care of for so many years, seeing her grown-up form run off like that, Lightning felt a strange soreness in her heart. She let the tides wash over her feet for a while longer. Maybe the cold ocean waters could cool down those tears.

* * *

**_K, I changed my mind. __This__was way harder to write compared to the last chapter haha… hence the later-than-usual update._**

**_And I'VE HAD ENOUGH with all this melodrama. Next chapter is all fluff, I promise you. _**


	10. Lightning

Chapter 10 - Lightning

She thought it left her. Vanille thought that those voices, hallucinations, and all those memories have gone, and would never, ever come back. Frankly, that wasn't the case. She didn't want to admit it, but they were getting clearer and louder… much more detailed – so detailed, she could _feel_ herself being—

The sound of the door opening – Lightning was home.

Vanille shook away the thoughts and dashed towards the entrance where she found the pink-haired soldier in her casual outfit, leaning on the door very, very tiredly. Her head was down, her shoulders drooped, and it just seemed like she was going to collapse if any more weight was put onto her.

_Maybe… the conversation with Serah didn't go so well?_

It was depressing to think that way. After all, she did have a ton of confidence that it was going to go well. Why else would she have left the two alone? "Onee-san…?" She called softly as she approached the woman.

Lightning didn't reply, but she brought her head up slowly.

The soldier looked so tired; perhaps even more so than the times after work. A foot apart, Vanille tried again, in a much softer voice, as she didn't want her high-pitched, squeaky one to bother her, "Are you okay?"

"…" She stared blankly at the girl.

_Did she go out of control again? Did she yell at her sister again? What exactly happened? _Countless questions and assumptions rose in her mind, but Vanille fought the urge to ask. Instead, her hand moved up to Lightning's cheek, somewhat regretting that she wasn't there with her.

Lightning turned her head away before the girl's hand could come any closer.

But Vanille ignored her action; she wanted to reach her – _desperately_. "Onee-san…" She whispered as her fingers brushed lightly against the woman's smooth cheek.

The strawberry-blonde remained still.

"What's wrong?"

The gentleness in Vanille's voice could drive her insane. So deep has she buried her emotions, and yet, such simple words from the redhead could dig them out so completely. The sore feeling in her chest from earlier intensified; it was giving her a heartburn, making her throat dry, getting her breath all uneven and shaky, and… and she… "I've never realized…"

Slightly surprised when she spoke, the girl started to stroke at her skin with her thumb.

Hesitantly, she turned back to the redhead. "… I've never realized that she's grown so much."

Vanille's hand finally moved close enough to cup the woman's smooth cheek.

Lightning inhaled deeply, and as she exhaled, her breath shook with discomfort. No matter how hard it was, no matter how much it hurt her pride, the soldier felt that it was necessary to tell someone – no, she just wanted to tell _Vanille_, and _only_ Vanille. She felt as if something inside would tear her apart otherwise – a thorn-like irritation. It was so, _so_ annoying. Lightning bit onto her lower lip briefly and went on, "I let her go, she's no longer trapped by me. Everything's fine – I could even talk to her casually like we used to. But…" she swallowed hard, "… but when I watched her walk away from me earlier, I just felt like…" Lightning clenched her fists. The same frustration from the night before burned within, "… I don't know – it pisses me off to just think about it…"

The girl moved in closer.

Seeing this, her hand unexpectedly, yet almost naturally, moved up to hold onto Vanille's that was still cupping her cheek. "Can you tell me?" She asked desperately as her azure eyes gleamed with anticipation, hope, and everything else that Vanille has never seen until now.

"Onee-san," she gave Lightning her trademark smile before answer, "It's because you've accepted the fact that she's grown up."

She flinched. Within a few seconds, the confusion on her face turned into a frown. "I don't get it."

Vanille's smile widened, "Mmm… well…" She tapped her lips with her index finger, "To put it simply… you're proud that she's big now, but you're also… mad? No – upset? No, no… you're, uh…"

"…"

She finally found the suitable word, "Okay, you're _saddened_ that she's no longer with you."

Poker face.

Vanille chuckled. "It's easy to understand! As a sister, your job was to watch her grow, mature, and become an adult. But like any other guardian, you just can't believe that the day has come so quickly."

… Man, she had to give it to this girl sometimes. As contradicting as it sounded, why was it that someone as innocent and childish as her could be so mature? The redhead looked no older than twenty, yet she knew so much, and could see through so much. Lightning didn't want to think it that way, but Vanille was a very dangerous person. Maybe she was majoring in psychology or something?

It was no longer necessary for her to keep her hand on Lightning's cheek. She drew her hand away, subsequently making the woman pull hers away as well. The two then stood there in silence, unsure of what to do next.

"Um…" Of course, it was always Vanille who would know how to break the tension. "Onee-san, are you hungry?"

"A bit." She answered simply.

"Do you… want me to make you something?"

Lightning looked into the lit kitchen, and then back at the shorter girl. "Not today," her sandals still on, she turned to reach for the doorknob. "Let's go out."

Vanille's eyelids fluttered. "O-out…? At this time…?" She looked out to the darkened sky as no clock was visible from where she was standing. The girl wasn't an expert, but judging from the colour of the sky, it was probably near midnight already. Then, it hit her.

_Out… with onee-san? A date?_

Seeing her reluctance, Lightning turned back around to face the girl. "Didn't you know? Bodhum's more fun at night."

Vanille blinked again. Did the strict, cold, unemotional soldier just mention the word 'fun'? "S-sorry, what did you just…?"

She rested a hand at her hip, "More fun and more food at night is what I'm trying to say." Lightning said bluntly, "So, you coming or not?"

Gradually, her muddled expression turned into a cheerful one, and finally, a grin appeared. She nodded enthusiastically, "Un!" Vanille squeaked with joy and jumped into her sandals—

"_Make her watch me— … them—"_

— her legs gave out—

_That voice again._

She started to fall forward, her body was lazy to react—

"Holy—" But Lightning spread her arms and caught the redhead in time. Holding onto her shoulders, she began, as casually as possible, "What's wrong?"

Vanille took a couple of breaths before looking up, while feigning a look of clumsiness, and started, "Hehe, guess I'm so hungry that I almost passed out…"

She narrowed her eyebrows. "Are you kidding me?"

The girl chuckled nervously. "Well, I can't help it if I'm hungry!"

Lightning shook her head as she helped her regain balance. She reached for the doorknob once again, this time without breaking eye contact with Vanille, and pushed the door open. "Then let's head out now, shall we?"

* * *

This, certainly, was amazing. No, it wasn't because of the increased amount of bright lanterns and decorative lights put up around then, but why were there more people out here than usual? To be more specific, why was this place more crowded at night? Don't people have to sleep?

"You look shocked."

Vanille turned to the strawberry-blonde soldier. "W-well, of course I am! Look, there are even children out at this time!" She looked forward again. The two were standing at the entrance to what appeared to be a "festival" more so than an ordinary night-market. Food, games, all sorts of stalls were put up. The said children Vanille was referring to all had funny-shaped balloons, ice-cream, or just some sort of delicious-looking food in their hands. Actually, never mind the children; even the grown-ups had their hands full with souvenirs and stuffed toys. Vanille tiptoed to look across the sea of heads and asked with excitement, "How can there be so many people?"

Lightning was quite entertained by the girl's amusement. It was kind of fun to think of herself as a tour guide. "Bodhum _is _one of Cocoon's few attraction points. Plus, it's close to Eden; people from there come here all the time." Following her green eyes, she also looked across the sea of people, "Surely, you would know that, since you _are_ here for a vacation."

She stiffened for a brief moment, and then smiled at her escort. "I mean… I certainly did not expect _this_. How big is this place anyway?"

"Not really that big… just five streets of this."

"Five?" She exclaimed and looked down the street that appeared to be as long as a block. "Five of this! I've only walked through one, and I wasn't even paying attention when I did it!"

Lightning shrugged her shoulders. "There isn't much to do in the morning anyway. Tourists tend to use all the time they can, which explains why there's still so many people right now. Also, fresh arrivals for food and such come at midnight, sharp. So by morning, many would consider the stuff as 'leftovers'."

"Hehhh…" Her eyes continued to follow the people who were holding all sorts of food in their hands. "Onee-san, they don't have this stuff on – erm – Eden, so I want to try them all!"

She raised a brow. And here she was, thinking that Eden had _everything_. Well, perhaps this was one of the reasons why Bodhum was so popular; Eden citizens might have a very strict way of living, hence the lack of night-markets like this one. Maybe they had very scheduled lifestyle – work in the morning, go home at night, and party on weekends… something typical like that, and totally not laidback like Bodhum. "Go ahead," she remembered that the girl was still talking to her, "It's my treat."

"What…?" Vanille's pigtails swayed as she spun her head at the woman.

"I said…" Lightning's eyes hid in the corners, "… it's my treat."

"Yeah… I heard you the first time… but… why?"

Unable to withstand the awkwardness that she, and only she, could feel, the soldier crossed her arms before mumbling, "Just because."

"Hmm?" Vanille was puzzled by her sudden kindness, until she realized that this might be her way of showing her gratitude. The girl decided to tease her a little, "Onee-san, are you…" she jumped in front of the soldier by surprise, immediately catching her attention once more, "… by any chance, treating me because you… think a glutton like me won't have enough to buy everything?"

"No…" She dragged her answer, "… I'm doing it because I want to."

"… You're sure?"

"Uh huh,"

"Really?"

"Really."

"Why?"

The soldier grunted, "I just want to say thank y—" she coughed, "Just… because."

Vanille covered her mouth with a fist as she giggled. "Well then, if it's that simple," skipping away cheerfully, she stopped to finish, "Then you're welcome!" and reached a certain food stall.

Before she could realize that she was blushing, the girl has already made her way to a takoyaki stand. Why, of course, she was hungry after all. What was better to expect than a food stall? Sighing, the pink-haired soldier walked towards the redhead, who appeared to be intrigued by the oddly-shaped snack.

"Onee-san, what's this?" Vanille asked curiously and pointed at the white-yellowish batter that was being poured into the half-spherical moulds of an iron pan by a man, who most likely was the stall owner.

"Eden doesn't even have this?" Lightning huffed. She was starting to feel proud of being a citizen of Bodhum. Perhaps this place wasn't so bad after all, as its strange and unique stuff could be so fascinating to the girl… then again, this redhead could get fascinated by plainly anything. "This is takoyaki, or literally, grilled octopus in a ball-shaped dumpling… sort of."

"Is it good?" The girl chirped.

"Only if you don't eat it excessively." When she said that, she noticed the cook was eyeing her suspiciously – she probably offended him or something. Lightning ignored it, however; it wasn't like she would get beaten up or anything. "So, do you want some?"

She nodded, "I'd like to try!"

Lightning nodded and reached into her hoodie's pocket, "One small, please."

"Aye, that'll be five gils." The store owner said as he scooped up six, readied, steaming pieces into a small paper-boat. He aligned them in two rows, and then squirted mayonnaise onto the snack in a swift, zigzagging motion.

She handed him the exact amount and took the takoyaki.

Vanille could only stare in awe at the food as Lightning handed it to her. "Why is it in a shape of a boat?" She pointed at the holder curiously.

A completely off-topic question, "Err… I guess it's tradition they make it like this? I don't know." She answered honestly, because she really did not know. "So are you going to try it or not?"

"Yep!" The girl pinched at the toothpick that was stabbed into a takoyaki. Lifting it up lightly, she took a good while to observe the ball-shaped snack before finally popping the whole thing in her mouth.

"It's… quite hot…" Lightning mumbled as she watched her chew. For some reason, somewhere deep down inside, she anticipated for Vanille's reaction. Did she like it? Was it overcooked? Did the taste disappoint her…? … Just something along those terms.

Suddenly, Vanille snapped her head up. "Onee-san!" Her mouth still stuffed with the takoyaki, she quickly pushed it down her throat and continued, "Why is this so good!"

"Uh…?"

Her bright green eyes gleamed with delight, almost as if she were a kid who just had her first bite of candy. "Have some too!" Vanille poked the toothpick into another one, and then shoved it in front of the soldier's deep pink lips. "You're hungry too, aren't you?"

"Um… uh…" She stammered and tried to pull back, but accidentally caught a glimpse of those eager emerald eyes…

"Say _aah_!"

_Déjà vu!_

She could swear that something like this has happened before. But before she could recall the flashback, her lips already parted by themselves, which allowed the redhead to push the snack into her mouth. Lightning couldn't believe that she gave into something as trivial as food – no, was it really the food? It could be temptation… or maybe…?

"How is it?" Vanille asked happily.

Lightning chewed slowly as she searched for the right word. Vanille's eagerness for her to answer pressured her to talk. "It's alright," she said, "Nothing special." It was a blatant lie, but she was confident that it sounded convincing. Having neglected these night-market foods in Bodhum since her parents' death, Lightning has long forgotten the taste of this particular snack. Now that she was eating it, it actually tasted way better than she could remember. Though, it wasn't like she was going to say it out loud. Seeing how the girl was already done with her share, Lightning figured that she might as well complete her job as a tour guide for the night. "Takoyaki isn't the only type of food around here, you know?" She said as she finished the final two pieces.

"R-really? More good stuff like this?" The girl asked with glee and excitement.

She smirked. Looking around, she searched for the nearest food stall. "More like, takoyaki isn't going to be enough to make us full."

"Then… what do you suggest we eat next? I don't know anything around here, so…"

"Come here," Being the kind tour guide she was, Lightning gestured at Vanille with a finger, then pointed at a stall right across the street. "Follow closely. There are a lot of people here, and it's easy to get lost."

Vanille giggled, "Oh, onee-san, how old do you think I am? Worrying for me like this…" She followed the woman as she was told.

Rolling her eyes, Lightning talked back. "You look sixteen, and you behave like you're ten."

"Wha—hey! I'm nineteen, and I think I'm pretty mature for my age!"

The soldier suddenly stopped and turned around. She stared at Vanille, at first, sternly, but she soon softened up and a small smirk appeared. "Not all the time," She replied, almost teasingly. And before the redhead could give her a frown, a pout, or any sort of unsatisfied response, Lightning pointed at the stall's sign behind her. "Okonomiyaki, literally meaning _whatever-you-like_ grilled pancake. Want some of this?"

She immediately forgot what she was about to say. Vanille tiptoed and glanced at the cook, who was pouring a familiar-looking batter onto a steaming-hot black pan. It looked like… he was indeed making some sort of pancake. It looked good, and definitely _smelled _delicious. "Un! I want this, onee-san!"

* * *

The two probably tried pretty much everything in the night-market afterwards. They couldn't help it, really; they haven't had a thing for the day, and most importantly, who could resist such cheap and delicious food? Vanille somehow convinced Lightning to stay a bit longer, despite it being nearly three in the morning now. Though, it wasn't like the soldier wanted to leave either; this crowd and noise weren't getting to her right now, as she was paying more attention to a certain tourist, who kept her upbeat and cheerfulness alive throughout all this time.

"Ah!" The girl gasped. Something caught her attention, and she skipped towards a stall that appeared to be hosting a game. Vanille was intrigued by the group of children that was gathering around it. "Onee-san, come here!"

She made her way towards the redhead. Apparently, everyone was watching a boy hit something that was a good five metres away with a toy pistol.

"Do you think he's going to hit it? Just one more can and he could get the first prize!" Vanille whispered to the soldier.

Lightning didn't care. But seeing how all the kids here were cheering him on, subconsciously, she, too, hoped for the boy to hit. Even so, it didn't seem as easy as it looked. The game was obviously rigged, as the distance was too great and the target was far too small. That toy gun looked historic as well – meaning it wouldn't hit accurately. For the boy to take down four cans already, Lightning didn't know whether she should be pleased or call him lucky.

Holding the gun with two hands, the boy squinted an eye for better aim, pulled the trigger, and—

"Too bad!" The stall owner called out right after a plastic clicking sound came from the gun, "You've run out of ammo, and there's still one can left!" To the children, he sounded friendly and enthusiastic, but to Vanille and Lightning, he sounded like he was in a hurry to move onto the next customer. "Here's a little Chocobo keychain for you though, you did hit four and deserve a second prize!"

"Wow…" Vanille suddenly appeared saddened, "The difference between the first prize and the second is so big…"

She wondered what the girl was upset about, and looked at the sign that had a list of the prizes. Raising a brow at the first prize, she pointed at it, "You want that?"

"Hm?" The redhead turned to Lightning, "Oh, yeah, who wouldn't!"

"Try it out then,"

"Eh – no way!" She laughed and waved her hands, "If that boy couldn't do it, I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't be able to either… Plus, I just want the prize, I don't really want to play."

The soldier took her words in without much reaction. She walked towards the man and handed him the right amount to play one game.

As he took the money and handed her the toy gun, he gave a quick glance at his customer, and immediately dropped his jaw. "W-whoa – Sergeant Farron?" He spat.

"Onee-san…?" Vanille blinked.

"I want to play," Lightning said coldly at the man.

"Y-yes…" Coughing, "Er, five cans, seven shots. Go ahead, please," The man kind of expected that this would turn out badly for him, as this woman _was_ Lightning Farron, the soldier who jumped to the rank of a sergeant within four years. Everybody of Bodhum knew that if those in charge weren't so lazy with promoting people, the strawberry-blonde would already be a captain… or maybe even a colonel.

She was surprised that he didn't even try to slip in a handicap for her even though he knew who she was. Of course, the woman easily adapted to the horrible toy gun's aiming after testing out the first shot, which miraculously hit the can beside the one she was aiming for. With ease, she hit all five targets without missing once. Putting down the gun, she turned around and prepared to take a glimpse at the redhead's reaction, but before she could move, the biggest sigh in the world caught her attention.

It was the stall manager, obviously. Where he thought he could gain profit off children for the entire night, the last thing he had expected was to have Bodhum's finest soldier beat him to his own game. He took out a huge yellow Chocobo doll – which was about the size of three of an average person's head – and handed it reluctantly to the woman while maintaining a forced smile. "C-congratulations! Come again!"

"Uh huh," She nodded _– like hell she was going to – _and walked towards the girl. "Here,"

"R-really…?" Vanille lifted her arms.

"I just wanted to play, I didn't want the prize." Lightning said as she handed her the stuffed toy.

She was far too distracted by the cuteness of the bird-doll… thing. While normal Chocobos had long necks, sharp orange beaks, large wings, and strong legs with talons, this cartoon version of the animal looked completely different – its face stretched, and its eyes enlarged, the wings and the legs were completely shrunken, and the designer of this doll neglected the Chocobos' signature long necks. Basically, this doll was nothing but a yellow oval-shaped stuffed toy. Even Vanille found it hard to really call it a _Chocobo_. Regardless, she still liked it. She hugged it tightly and grinned, burying her face into its softness. "It's so cute! Thank you so much, onee-san! Love you!"

Lightning nearly choked on her own tongue.

Realizing what she just said, "… Eh?" Vanille instantly snapped up. "Eh? I-I mean—! Um… no, I—!"

She turned away. Lightning knew the girl didn't mean it that way, but seeing her denying so desperately like this, she couldn't help but to think that Vanille actually _did_ really… probably…? — No, no. She was just looking elsewhere to hide her flushed cheeks… Yes, this was all done out of convenience.

Still stuttering, Vanille shook her head rapidly and tried to search for the right word, "I-I meant…!" but her shyness was getting to her, and it was so hard to think – she shoved the Chocobo doll into the strawberry-blonde's hands, "I-I need to go to the washroom! Excuse me!" She blurted in one breath and sped away before Lightning could say anything.

Any other day, the woman would gladly escort her to one, but she could hardly contain herself. So how would she be able to converse normally? Lightning took a deep breath and hugged onto the stuffed toy. Usually, it would hurt her pride to have people see her holding onto a doll, but she didn't even have the will to worry about this stuff anymore. Vanille's sudden… surprise… confession, if you will, was still echoing in her ears. She sighed and looked down at the first prize; she didn't intend to do it, but something about this toy's expression brought a smile to her face.

* * *

Vanille, meanwhile, was still trying to catch her breath. She actually wasn't planning to go to the washroom, she just didn't know what to say to cover up for her sudden _indirect_ confession. The girl only said it to thank her, because… that was what people usually do, right? They'd say _'love you' _out of gratitude— "Oh man… but I…" — but she knew very well that when she said it moments ago, it wasn't said out of gratitude, but rather—

"_Enjoying life?" _

That voice again. The girl looked around her in panic, because she could swear that somebody just whispered it to her—

"_Have you forgotten about them?"_

"No, I haven't…" She said weakly to herself as she continued to search. Unfamiliar yet friendly and innocent faces were all that surrounded her. There was no sign of that person… none at all.

"_Selfish slut."_

"I'm not…!" Vanille continued to speak, still searching for that person. She spun around, thinking that she might be able to catch him by surprise—

"Ow! Hey, watch it!"

She has bumped into a passerby rather roughly, though she was only pushed back a little. "S-sorry…" Vanille apologized immediately.

The man gave her a look before walking off.

The girl sighed and shook her head – at least, thanks to that stranger, that annoying voice no longer came back to haunt her. At the same time, she decided that it was best she returned to Lightning. Knowing her, the soldier was most likely getting worried by now. Taking the same route from where she came from, she came across many interesting stalls. From toys to jewellery, the fascinating items reminded her that she has yet to get her host a birthday present.

* * *

By now, Vanille wasn't just worried, but _scared_ that she might get scolded for running off. With all her stamina, she sprinted her way back to her tour guide. She took longer than she thought she would to go through all the displayed items – they were all so entertaining to look at after all, so she couldn't really blame herself, Vanille argued in her head. At the same shooting game stall where they separated, the redhead glanced around for a certain tall, strawberry-blonde woman in the crowd. Sure enough, the said woman was standing beside a sign that labelled 'balloons', where many children were gathering around. The girl giggled; it didn't seem like Lightning realized where she was standing, rather, she looked like a child herself with that lost face and a stuffed toy in her arms.

Maybe she was just spacing out, but seeing her gave Vanille a sense of warmth in her heart. "Oneeeeee-san!" She purposely stretched the word as she walked towards her.

Lightning turned to the girl. Her look still lost at first, it quickly turned back to her usual strict one when she remembered what just happened. Turning away nervously, "W-where'd you go?" the woman asked as if it didn't concern her.

"Hehe, sorry, I got lost."

She stayed quiet.

"But… coming back here, I think we've pretty much covered all five streets, right?"

"Pretty much, I guess."

"Should we head home?"

The woman shrugged her shoulders, "Whatever you want."

Vanille nodded with a smile. "Okay, then let's go!" Before they moved, she remembered the yellow stuffed toy that was still in Lightning's arms, and started to chuckle. "Um, onee-san, do you… want to hold it, or…?"

"Huh?" The soldier looked down and instantly gasped. She shoved it into the redhead's hands and crossed her arms. Almost in a forced-casual way, Lightning started to walk off.

Giggling, Vanille followed the taller woman closely as the skies above turned from navy to deep blue.

* * *

"Oh man, I'm so tired…" She yawned, the large Chocobo doll still in hand. Taking off her sandals, she made her way to the living room and was about to collapse onto the sofa, until she noticed a streak of brightness peering out from the horizon line.

Vanille's sudden gasp caught the woman's attention, and her eyes automatically followed the redhead who was running towards the huge window.

A pleasant sunrise – just the way she liked it. Lately, she has been waking up far too early for her own good, and every time she turned to look at the sun on the bed, she couldn't help it but to detest its gloomy light. Right now, while she still had the energy, Vanille decided that it wouldn't hurt to watch the rare beauty in front of her.

It wasn't because she was entranced by the same, usual sunrise she saw every day, but rather… it was because of a certain girl who stood there, whose figure glowed with the warm sunlight that brought her feet to the window as well. "Didn't you say that you were tired?"

She nodded. "Yeah, but… I don't get to see pretty sunrises all the time…" Vanille answered, never taking her eyes off the horizon.

"Pretty?" Her azure eyes still on the redhead, "It's always the same," She finished, never even using a moment to blink.

The girl smiled before turning to the soldier, "Onee-san, you think everything is the same."

Unintentionally, her tired eyes began to follow the shadows that the sunlight created on Vanille's face. "That's what you get for living here all your life."

She giggled. "I don't think this place is bad at all. At least, it's nowhere close to the war, and it's so peaceful too…"

"_Too_ peaceful," Lightning interrupted, "Sometimes, I just…" She clenched her fists, her eyes sharpened as they glued themselves onto the girl's bright green ones, "… just want to step into battle and do something."

Her smile weakened. "Onee-san, so you don't mind… _killing_ people?"

Curious as to why the girl would suddenly ask such a serious question, the soldier crossed her arms. "If the people you are referring to are my enemy, then I don't."

Vanille continued to ask, "You mean the people of Pulse?"

She furrowed her eyebrows. "Who else do you think I'm talking about? I wouldn't want to kill Cocoon citizens, would I?"

The smile on the girl's face disappeared. She fiddled with the fluffy material on the Chocobo doll still in hand with her fingers. "Onee-san…" She whispered, unwilling to bring her head up, "… do you hate the people of Pulse?"

Confused, Lightning tilted her head. "Is this supposed to be a trick question?"

"No, I'm just wondering."

She blinked at the girl. "It's… obvious, isn't it?"

Vanille sighed and shook her head, "Never mind," she smiled and dropped the subject. Walking over to the sofa, she placed the stuffed toy down gently and made her way back to the woman, "Onee-san, this isn't much but, I got you something."

"… Why?" Lightning asked as she watched the redhead reached into her pocket, taking out a small piece of silver… black… or whatever-coloured… thing. She couldn't really tell what it was, as it was wrapped tightly in a small plastic bag.

Carefully, the girl took the said _thing_ out with her nimble fingers, "When I asked you what you wanted for your birthday, you said anything is fine, right?" Stuffing the plastic bag back into her pocket, she held onto the 'present' with both hands. "So I got this!"

Vanille held it up for the soldier to see. It was a necklace with a black lightning bolt-shaped pendant with silver outlines and three small gems aligning on top of one another from the bottom. "A… necklace?"

"Mhmm!" She unhooked it, "It doesn't seem like you have your ears pierced, and I couldn't find any nice-looking bellybutton ring, so…" Holding onto the ends of the thin silver chain, "I'll help you put it on!"

"Uh—" Before she could stop her, the girl already moved in, tiptoed, and tried to hook the necklace together from behind her neck. This was more than awkward for her, as she was technically getting _hugged_. "Vanille…"

The girl chuckled. "Sorry, I can't really see… can you lean down a bit, please?"

_Why don't you just let me turn around?_

"O-okay…" She did as she was told and bent down' her face got _that _much closer to the girl's.

"Thanks," yet Vanille still struggled to hook the necklace back together.

Lightning could feel that she was having difficulty, so she bent down even more, until her chin was literally leaning on the redhead's shoulder. She thought for sure that the girl would pull back once she did that, but that wasn't the case; Vanille was far too occupied with that troublesome hook, and Lightning figured that if she pulled back now, it would only hurt the girl's feelings. About to give in and wait until Vanille was done, the soldier took a deep breath, and the smell of barbeque and such reached her nose. The scent obviously came from the girl's orange hair and clothes – they _were_ wandering around a smoked and crowded area where air was dense. Not that the smell was unpleasant or anything, but Lightning was hoping for a more refreshing… bathing-gel-like smell. "Vanille…" She started.

"I'm so sorry," The girl chuckled again, this time in an apologetic way, "But I should've gotten you something more expensive. This cheap hook is ticking me off too…"

"No," Lightning said. As she breathed, the smell from the girl's hair became heavier.

"_It's so cute! Thank you so much, onee-san! Love you!"_

She swallowed. Was this smell drugging her or something? Out of everything, she was reminded of _this_ particular scene.

"… _Love you!"_

… It wasn't even for real, intentional, or, more like, she didn't even mean it _that_ way!

"… _Love you!"_

Lightning closed her eyes. She had to stop thinking about this…

"… _onee-san… Love you!"_

Seriously, stop. She could feel her cheeks getting warmer. _Please don't let me be blushing_, was what she was thinking. Well, how could she possibly _not_? With the girl this close, even a soldier as tough as she wouldn't be able to hold back her human emotions… this was never part of any of the training…

"… _onee-san, I love you!"_

Oh god, now she was filling in random words! Lightning bit hard onto her lower lip as her body tensed up. She was probably sweating as well, but she could care less; right now, she had to stay calm and slow down that racing heart. She might die from a stroke otherwise.

_Anyone but Vanille._

Yes, even in her hangover state, she reminded herself of that; she was able to resist, so why couldn't she do it now? This was just a hug – no, this wasn't even a hug… it wasn't supposed to mean _anything_ at all! The girl was just helping her put on the necklace!

"_I don't… dislike this."_

But she was speaking the truth two nights ago. Lightning didn't just _didn't dislike_ this, she really, really, _really_ liked this.

"Okay, done!" Vanille pulled back, "Finally! That was—"

Before she could move away any further, Lightning pressed her lips against the girl's soft ones. She didn't want to see her disgusted, repulsed, or horrified reaction, so the woman closed her eyes, and could only hope that nothing bad would come out of this.

Vanille parted her lips to gasp, but when she did that, the strawberry-blonde misinterpreted it, and kissed deeper. A moan escaped her, and it was like a wake-up call to the woman, who pulled away quickly in fear.

Lightning couldn't control it, but the moment they pulled away from each other, she naturally sucked onto her lips, savouring the taste that remained.

The girl, who by the way, still had her arms looped around Lightning's neck, slowly drew a shaking hand towards herself and pressed onto her red lips. "W-what… onee-san, what was that…?"

The colour on her cheeks could only be defined as _crimson_. The soldier looked away and swallowed hard. "I don't… really know…" She answered with utmost honesty.

"…"

… _Crap._

Lightning could swear that she would throw herself out of the window right now if the redhead wasn't still holding onto her. She sure messed up badly – this was one hell of an awkward, uncomfortable, _horrible_ situation, all mixed together in the worst way. Truly, she had no idea how to fix this. "Vanille, I… I'm sorry…" was the best she could do.

And out of nowhere, the girl started to giggle softly.

Bemused, she raised a brow.

"Onee-san, you…" Vanille whispered nervously, "… did you just… kiss me?"

At room temperature, Lightning was shivering as if she were standing in a winter wasteland, but at the same time, beads of sweat were rolling down her forehead – or that was what her imagination was telling her how she looked right now. She nodded lightly. "I… I'm sorry…" Lightning tried to step back—

But Vanille held on tightly. "No, don't go…"

Usually, in these situations, the woman's dominance would take over; there would be no hesitance or any sort of conversation. Everything would take place on the bed – nothing more and nothing less. But when she touched the girl's lips just now, it wasn't the same. She didn't want to describe it as _special_, but in a sense, it _was_, because it almost felt like it was her first kiss…

"Stay…" The girl whispered.

She was so cute – her flushed cheeks and gleaming eyes, her moist and parted lips – Lightning wanted her, and she couldn't help it anymore. Her arms circled around the girl's tiny waist, pulling her close by surprise. Their foreheads touched and the woman could feel the girl breathing on her. "Vanille…" Slowly and carefully, Lightning pushed her towards the window, trapping her against it with her body. Like that night on her birthday, when she moved a hand to brush away those orange bangs that always seemed to cover those brilliant eyes, Lightning did the same thing here. Only this time, when she leaned in to kiss her, she was sure that she wouldn't get disturbed.

Their lips met and Vanille's heart started to skip beats. She closed her eyes and parted her lips once again, this time purposely, to grant the beautiful strawberry-blonde access. Never had she kissed _properly_ before, so this was all very new to her. Of course, she was in no doubt nervous about this – were their teeth supposed to clash this occasionally? Was her tongue thrusting too deeply? Was she breathing too… sexually?

Lightning pulled away from the kiss and moved down to the girl's exposed neck. Those deep, red marks still present, she sucked onto them, this time consciously.

Vanille arched her body to get more of the woman's touch, moaning words that didn't make sense at the same time. Lightning's hands were roaming all over her, feeling every inch and curve of perfect alignment of her petite body figure. "Onee-san…" Her sharp gasp sent chills down her own body as the woman's gentle hands traced her waist, feeling her baby-soft skin. Vanille herself dug her fingers into the pink-haired soldier's head, combing through that silky hair.

Encouraged by her touch and those sensual gasps and moans, Lightning no longer felt the need to restraint herself; she moved back up to capture Vanille's lips, this time hard enough to bruise them. The girl winced at first, but soon adapted to her aggressiveness and kissed back. Smirking into the kiss, she moved down to her shorts, ready to remove them so that she could explore even more of Vanille—

And the girl froze. Once those shorts were loosened, she couldn't move. Lightning was still kissing her, but she couldn't kiss back; she couldn't freaking _move_.

The body she was trapping against the window wasn't reacting to anything. Curious, Lightning pulled back. "What's wrong?" She breathed upon seeing a frightened redhead.

She turned away. Closing her eyes, "Nothing," Vanille answered in the softest voice ever.

Then it hit her. The last thing she wanted to do was to bring up those horrible memories, and there was no way that she would hurt her. "Vanille, those men… on that night, did they…?"

The girl twitched.

That must have been it. Lightning sighed; she helped buttoned and zipped her shorts back. "Sorry," She whispered into her ear and pecked her lightly on the cheek. Her arms wrapped themselves around Vanille again, she held onto her ever-so tightly, as if afraid that she would slip away. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

She rested her head on the woman's shoulder and hugged back. _How could anyone be so kind to her?_ The girl thought. No way in hell did she deserve this – no, after all that she has done, _this_ was the last thing she'd expect to get. "Onee-san, I… ran away from them…"

_Them? The thugs?_

"But sometimes I still feel that I'm with them, and it really makes me wonder – is this world where I am right now – is this all… just a dream?"

Her choice of wording things was really odd, but she chose to think of an answer. Looking up, the white-yellow radiance of the sunrise behind Vanille shone directly into her pupils, making her close her eyes immediately out of reflex. Would it be like this in a dream? Would light hurt her eyes, would everything be so surreal, would the sun, the air, the room, the girl, herself, and these feelings… would they be so overwhelming and heavy in a dream? Frankly, Lightning had no idea. She didn't know, but decided to answer anyway, whispering, "What if it is?"

Still buried in her shoulder, the girl replied, "I… my answer is going to be really clichéd…"

Lightning drew back, enough so that the redhead's arms were still around her and she could see her face. "I want to hear it."

She swallowed and took a moment to gather her thoughts. What the soldier just said wasn't an order; it was more like a wish. Throwing away her strict, tough, and proud front, it probably took all of Lightning to say that. The girl sighed; tipping her toes, she came close to the strawberry-blonde's ear and answered, "If this is just a dream, then I'd rather die."

_Die?_

Lightning was expecting something like _'then I would never want to wake up_' or something cheesy like that, but… this girl would rather _die_? She didn't like her answer. "Vanille,"

The redhead gasped at the sound of her name. "Onee-san, I don't want you to be a dream…" her arms around Lightning tightened. "Why do the best things happen in dreams and not in reality?"

Such a sad question… the soldier couldn't stand the insecurity in her voice. Whatever she was afraid of, Lightning was going to protect her from it. "Vanille," She repeated, returning the embrace completely, "But I'm real."

No response. The girl simply kept still.

The woman sighed. She wanted Vanille to go back to her cheerful self, and didn't know any other way to revert her. "Would the Lightning in your dream tell you her real name?"

Vanille looked up, eyes widened in surprise.

Her expression softened. "Éclair Farron,"

The girl's lips parted and she started to mouth something – most likely, she was trying to repeat the word. She did it again, this time properly, "Éclair…"

The sound of her tongue rolling as she called her by name was… as stupid as it sounded, electrifying. Probably, it was because nobody has called her that for the longest time, and to be called again like _that_, in such a gentle voice, it was just a bit too much for the soldier to handle.

"As in…" Vanille suddenly started, "… the dessert, _éclair_?"

"What – no!" She blurted, backing off quickly, "As in _lightning, _not the god damn dessert!"

The girl giggled.

"Ugh," She knew nothing good would come out of this. Lightning crossed her arms, "That's one of the reasons why I changed it…" She mumbled to herself.

"I think it's cute though," Vanille said, her fingers clenched together behind her.

The soldier turned away, still somewhat annoyed by her joke. Though, she was definitely glad that Vanille was smiling again.

She kept her eyes on the woman's warm, glowing figure. Of course, the source of the golden light came from none other than the rising sun. But to see the tall, kind, beautiful goddess literally shining so angelically in front of her eyes, she could be sure that Lightning was real. This wasn't a dream. "I love éclair."

"Eh?" Lightning jolted her head back at the redhead, blushing at her sudden… confession.

Vanille took her hand, "Do you love vanilla?"

The redness on her cheeks spread and deepened. Perhaps it was nervousness that made her grip onto the girl's hand, but she had an answer in mind, nodding, "… Yes, and nothing else."

She smiled. "Not even chocolate?"

"No."

"What about banana?"

"No."

"Lemon?"

"… Maybe."

"Erm… how about… Neapolitan?"

"Oh god, please no." She answered with a look of disgust.

"But it has vanilla in it!" The girl laughed.

Lightning rolled her eyes. "I want vanilla, and only vanilla."

"Then… then what about—aah!"

The woman interrupted her by pulling her close; she wasn't planning to let go this time. "Only Vanille."

She chuckled softly, "Isn't that a bit too sweet? I mean, even for you…" The girl asked, her whispery voice tickling Lightning's skin.

Her lips hovered beside Vanille's ear, "And if it is?" she challenged.

"Then…" She couldn't speak any louder. This closeness was getting to her, "… then I… onee-san…" Vanille turned to peck the woman lightly on the cheek. She could hear Lightning snicker, and hearing that, the girl could swear that she was going to crumble right then and there. But she remembered— "AAH!"

"What the f—!" The soldier jumped away in an instant. "What!" She demanded from the girl. It was like Vanille's scream still echoed in her ears.

"Oh my gosh!"

Lightning sulked. "What is it already?"

The girl grabbed her by the wrist and literally dragged her towards the kitchen. "Onee-san, I'm so sorry!"

She grunted. "Like I said, what is it!"

Vanille released her wrist and walked over to the refrigerator. "The… the cake…"

"Huh?" Lightning made her way towards the fridge as well and stopped right beside the girl. She watched the redhead take the perfectly flat-cylinder-shaped, pure-white vanilla cake out. The soldier had to admit, even after eating so much food at the night-market, seeing such a sweet, delicious, and tempting-looking… _pretty_ cake, she couldn't stop her mouth from watering. She did, after all, have a weak side for sweet things; to make things worse, it was vanilla-flavoured too.

"Hmm… it doesn't look like it's edible anymore…" The redhead sighed.

The strawberry-blonde widened her eyes and stared at Vanille, hard. "Not… edible?" She questioned.

"Yeah… I made it specifically so that it would taste the best when eaten fresh. I didn't expect… such surprises, so…" The girl placed the cake lightly down onto the counter. "Sorry, I'll just make you another one—"

She dipped her finger into the white cream and brought it back to her mouth.

"O-onee-san!"

Lightning nibbled onto her finger like a rabbit eating its carrot.

"Don't… it's probably gone bad by now…" Vanille said as she held onto the soldier's hand, trying to pull her finger away from her mouth. "I'll make you another one, okay?"

She shook her head. "It's fine, really." Reaching for the cake, Lightning dipped her finger into the cream again, this time bringing it to the girl's mouth. "Here, try."

Though unwilling, Vanille realized that this was the first time ever for someone to feed her food, and for that _someone_ to be none other than the most beautiful woman she has ever met in her life, what more could she ask for? Why would she decline? "… Alright, then…" Vanille, likewise, nibbled onto the tip of Lightning's finger with her lips. But right when the taste reached her tongue, her face turned blue— _"W-what is this! Metal? Plastic? N-no… rubber tire?" _—and she was about to hurl. "O-onee-san… this… is…" She choked as she tried to talk, and her voice sounded like it was clogged in her throat.

"What's with that face?" Lightning teased with a straight face.

This woman really was incredible. Vanille snapped back to her senses and recovered from that horrid taste. "Y-you were lying about it tasting okay!"

Lightning huffed, her expression completely bored, "I just thought that it'd be a waste if I didn't eat at least a little of the cake that you've baked for me."

"… What…" Little air went into her lungs when she tried to catch her breath. Perhaps she did it a bit too suddenly? She couldn't help it though; who could expect, out of all people, that Lightning would be able to say such kind words? Vanille was swept away instantly, and she didn't know how to respond. Her shaky hands reached up to feel her flaming cheeks, "O-onee-san, were you always this good with words…?"

She smirked. Pulling the girl's hands away from her cheeks, she held onto them with her own. "And were you always this shy?"

Vanille pouted to hide her girlish smile. "Rarely, and only around you,"

A breath of amusement escaped her mouth. Lightning moved closer, "I know," their lips brushed against each other's when she spoke. "And anything rare attracts me,"

"So… you mean _I'm_ rare?"

Lightning shrugged her shoulders, "At least you're the first person ever to have bought me a present and baked me a cake."

Giggling at the soldier's awkward honesty, the girl wrapped her arms around her. "I'm quite special then, aren't I?" Her smile widened when Lightning returned the embrace. "Happy birthday, onee-san!"

Hearing that, the woman couldn't hide the grin. She was glad that Vanille chose to call her _onee-san_ instead of her real name – she didn't want people to know after all, and plus, _onee-san_ sounded way cuter than _Éclair _when the girl says it. It wasn't a sister-complex, Lightning just liked the way it sounded.

* * *

**_What's that I hear? "Not enough fluff"? Oh, don't worry, more to come next chapter :D_**

**_Thanks for the reviews so far. Keep them coming! They get me motivated ;)_**

**_PS: I totally Japanese-ized Bodhum hahaha…_**

**_PPS: I hope at least some of you would get the meaning behind that "flavour" part -_-_**


	11. Vanille

Chapter 11 - Vanille

"_Kid, let's go! We have to get out of here now!"_

_A dilemma – she shook her head. "I-I can't just leave them…!"_

"_There's no time!" His brows furrowed and the wrinkles on his forehead became more visible even in the dim corridor. "You've gone this far already! If they catch you now, they won't just kill you, they'll—"_

_She wanted to tear her heart out. There was no way she could just… "But I can't leave them behind!"_

_He grunted with impatience. "Kid, it's now or never!"_

_Those words felt like a stab in the heart. As pathetic as it was, she knew that from the start, but she did not have the courage to face the truth. She believed that there would be a tiny hint of hope for someone like her. She believed that her 'heroic' efforts would awaken the gods, and somebody – just __somebody__ – would rescue all of them. This childish, ridiculous fairy tale-way of thinking would only bring death upon herself. "I…"_

"_Come on!" The man called to her._

_The tears rolled down her cheeks when she closed her eyes. The girl took one last look behind her, and she ran. She never looked back ever since._

"_And because of this one, simple, __selfish__ decision—"_

_The voice – no, __**their **__voices called to her. They bind her down like heavy chains, they strangle her until she was unable to breathe, and they haunt her day and night. She thought that she could simply ignore them, and that one day, these ghosts of her past would perhaps disappear, leave her alone, and just let her live in peace. The girl told herself that perhaps by living with a façade that showed her happier and more carefree side, everything would be covered up. Everything, including those sins that she would never be able to compensate for—_

"… sorry…"

"_Would apologizing make a difference? Would it erase everything that you have done? Would it make you forget?" _The voice often asked.

"I…"

"_Would acting as if nothing had happened help?"_

"Please stop…"

"_You're just an empty shell, Vanille."_

"Don't… don't call me that…!"

"Vanille,"

"Stop it…"

"… Vanille, wake up."

She opened her eyes. For a moment, she thought she had died. The dark space made it hard for her to see where she was, and the chilly air brought goosebumps to her skin. As her vision adjusted, she found a beautiful angelic woman above her, and that was when she finally realized what was going on – she fell asleep on Lightning's thigh. They must have been out here for a while now, as the red sky had turned completely dark. She pulled the woman's sweater higher up her shoulders and smiled, "Hello."

Lightning combed through her soft orange hair as she continued to gaze at her. It was weird to see the poor girl talking and crying in her sleep one moment, and then smiling with such genuine beauty the next. And although she had seen her like this before not more than a month ago, she realized that she had never actually stopped to think what it really was that bothered her in her sleep. Asking her would be the logical start; so she began, as casually as possible, "I can't believe you can fall asleep like this." She brushed against the girl's cheeks with her thumb, wiping those tears that were still present on her skin with subtlety. "It's cold out here, want to go back?"

"Mmm…" Vanille moaned tiredly and snuggled closer to the soldier. "No… we came out to eat, remember? I don't think I'd want to go out again after we go home…"

She pursed her lips and shrugged her shoulders. "Fine." Lightning said and looked up into the starry sky, her body bent back and her arms supported her weight from behind. "But of all places, why waste time on a beach? Do you like sleeping on sand or something?"

The girl giggled. The soldier's bluntness was always amusing to her. In fact, Vanille thought it was rather cute and charming – probably even most of the time. Still tired, or more like half-asleep, she replied with her eyes closed, "No, I just think it's romantic."

Lightning had the same thoughts, really. But she wasn't going to go as far as admitting it out loud. Something more important was on her mind right now. "Hey,"

It wasn't often the soldier would call to her. The girl immediately shifted all her attention to the strawberry-blonde, looking up at the area below her chin as the woman's eyes were too occupied with the night sky.

"What were you dreaming about?" As she asked, her eyes went ahead to trace the stars, making out random shapes and patterns out of habit. She wasn't really focusing, however, as she was more concerned about Vanille's answer. Though, Lightning didn't want to make it look like she cared. Common sense told her that it would only give the redhead pressure.

She remained smiling. Vanille knew very well why she asked. Or more specifically, she knew that Lightning saw her crying; she knew the woman was wiping her tears away, and there was no way she was going to let her worry about this. Something as stupid and trivial as a dream was should never bother an admirable soldier like her.

"_No, you just don't want her to know of such humiliating things."_

The voice was right. It was always _right_, as much as Vanille hated. She decided to improvise, "Would you laugh if I told you?"

Confused, Lightning's head shot back down, her soft pink bangs bounced with her movement. "Why would I?"

"I'm pretty sure you will," Vanille chuckled. "So, in my dream, you… kind of ran away from me because I told you that I was an… erm… alien. I tried to explain, but you said that you never wanted to talk to me ever again." She sat up, and the soldier's lilac sweater slid down to her lap. Lightning supported her back with an arm as she draped her legs over the side of the woman's leg. Vanille leaned into Lightning's chest and listened to her heartbeat. "So…" She continued with a soft voice, "I was just sad that you… y'know, ran away…"

She sulked. "I ran away because you were… an… _alien_?"

Vanille lifted a hand to play with the pink strands of hair that rested on Lightning's shoulder. She curled her fingers around its softness and replied, as enthusiastically as possible, "Mhmm!"

No. There was no way that was it. The girl was hiding something, the dream was an excuse – utter nonsense – it couldn't be the reason for those tears. "Are you sure?"

She dropped her hand into her lap. "Yep!"

… Yes, she was definitely lying. But Lightning did not have the courage to break through the girl's pretence. She was definitely not going to force her – in fact, if it was so hard for her to face the truth, then she would much rather let her avoid the topic. Those dreams were most likely remnants of whatever happened that night—

"_Get away from me…"_

… But… on that night when they met, on the first night Vanille slept at her house, she already sleepwalked, and she was mumbling similar things back then. This happened even before she got assaulted by those thugs, so did that mean something _else _had happened to the girl…?

She had to ask. She had to confirm it; she wouldn't be able to forgive herself otherwise. "Vanille…"

"Hmm?"

If there was one thing Lightning was certain of, it was that deep inside, she could not control this strong desire to protect the girl. Cradling Vanille in her arms like this wasn't enough, she wanted to hide her from those dreams, and whatever in the world that would hurt her. Lightning held out a pinky finger. "Do you remember what you promised me?" She started.

Vanille blanked out for a second. _How could…? _For a busy soldier to remember something as pointless as _that_, Vanille felt—

"You told me that whether I like it or not, you will come straight to me if any of those memories come back."

"_Tell her. Tell her that you're a selfish slut."_

_No… _

She clenched her fists. It hurt so much to hide, especially when Lightning was so willing to help. But she couldn't do it. _Anything but that_. She couldn't let her know – she couldn't afford to lose her. "Onee-san," Vanille snuggled closer to the woman's neck and hooked her pinky around hers, "I'm fine."

"_Again with the lies,"_

"As long as you're with me, that stuff won't come back."

"_Filthy liar. You can hear me right now, can't you?"_

Lightning looked down and found Vanille smiling. Yet it seemed as if it was the most tragic smile in all of Cocoon. She sighed and wrapped both her arms around the girl. "You know I'm not going to buy that, right?"

Vanille moved up high enough so that she could return the woman's embrace. As she thought of a way to respond, other questions rose to her mind. To be loved by this innocent woman… was it really okay? She knew that someday, the truth would _for sure _tear them apart—

"_Staying with her, lying to her like this. You __are_ _a selfish slut."_

… Yeah. She really was nothing but selfish, for she knew that the longer she stayed, the more pain it would bring to Lightning in the future. But then… she had never felt this way before. Vanille did not understand – was it wrong to feel protected for once? Was it wrong to finally fall in love, and be held like this? Maybe just for a bit…

_Just let me be selfish for a bit longer…_

"You don't believe me… because my dream is too stupid?" Her words muffled into the soldier's white tank top.

Lightning ignored her little joke for she was more inclined to get down to the problem. Vanille's delay in answering her pretty much confirmed that something was indeed wrong. She turned to her ear and began, "You can lie to me all you want, I don't care." Her hand stroked the back of her neck, feeling the tiny, soft little hairs that were light on her skin. "But I'd listen to anything that comes from you, whether it's a lie or not." Lightning paused momentarily; she could feel Vanille flinch.

The girl bit hard onto her lower lip.

_Onee-san, stop being so nice to me…_

She went on, "And if you don't want to talk about it, then it's fine." Pulling away, she found tears in her green eyes, about to stream down her cheeks. Lightning smiled lightly, "So, can you smile for me?"

Vanille choked as she chuckled. The tears rolled down immediately when she closed her eyes.

"_You don't deserve her."_

She hadn't been this happy for a long, long time, but everything was done for the wrong reason. She agreed; there was no way she deserved _any _of this. "Oh man, I… can't believe I'm crying…" Vanille said softly, wiping her eyes with the back of her hands. "Onee-san, you really are good with words…"

When she pulled her arms away, Lightning leaned down to plant light kisses on her eye.

Vanille gasped. She felt even guiltier when the woman's lips came in contact with her skin. It would be so much better if they never met, it would be so much easier to leave if this woman did not fall in love with _her_. Beauty, intelligence, strength, kindness… _divinity_… Lightning had them all, perhaps even more. She deserved someone who would bring her happiness in return. And it hurt _so much more_ to think this way, but Vanille knew that there was no way she could bring the woman any sort of pleasure. She was a walking form of misfortune, and perhaps even sadness itself. "Onee-san…

"_Leave her before you rob her of everything, before you break her heart."_

Yeah. It was probably best to let go while she still can.

"What is it?"

… But she wanted to know _why_ before everything ended. It was probably her only wish right now, and she _had _to ask. "What do you see in me?"

Lightning blinked with confusion and stared at Vanille blankly.

Her attention was once again taken away by the mysterious blueness beneath those pink bangs that swayed with the gentle ocean breeze. Each time she looked into Lightning's eyes, she would be in trance, and the feeling was different each time – never would it be the same. "Why did you kiss me?"

Her mouth hung open and her brows narrowed. "What's this all of a sudden?"

She didn't answer. Vanille quietly waited.

The girl's unchanging expression strangely urged her to reply without having anymore averseness. So she answered, "… Well, I see in you…" Lightning tilted her head; it was an attempt to get the specific words out of the tiniest cracks of her brain, "… a silly, clumsy, and weak girl. I kissed you because I wanted to."

Vanille was horrified upon hearing those words. Chills shot to every limb and she felt as though she was going to break into pieces.

Lightning smirked. Before the girl could show an even more depressed expression, she quickly added, "You are silly enough to put up with my bitterness, clumsy enough to attract me, weak enough to make me have the deepest desires to protect you."

Shocked, her cheeks flushed red almost instantly; even the beating of her heart became faster. That chilly feeling also disappeared.

_So cute. _"And I wanted to kiss you because I couldn't help it anymore." She finished.

Well, she definitely did not expect that. How could she possibly leave this possessive woman now? No longer able to face Lightning anymore with those flaming cheeks, Vanille hid her face. "Honestly, onee-san… was this how you flirted with your past lovers?" She muttered.

Lightning had no idea what she was talking about. "Lovers…? What are you talking about? I thought I told you… I never made any moves to get the people to come to me. If you think about it, it's not even appropriate to call them my exes, more or less _lovers_."

A surge of happiness rushed through her veins. "Really? So… I'm technically your… first?" She asked with anticipation.

The soldier rolled her eyes. "Yeah, sure. My first _official_ one."

Lightning had emphasis on the word _official_, and Vanille couldn't believe her ears. So just now, she basically… admitted to her that she was her lover? Vanille's heart rate increased again; she could even hear her heart pounding against her chest. "I'm your first official… what?" She tried to confirm.

The woman sulked again, this time with annoyance. She had a feeling that the girl was going to tease her, but she didn't know that she'd be this unprepared. "Figure it out on your own," Lightning said coldly and turned away, "I'm more concerned whether your parents will… like me or not."

A smile came back to her face. "I'm sure they do." She said in a reassuring voice.

"Do?" Lightning said, "I haven't even met them."

Vanille started to play with the strands of hair on her shoulder again. "Neither have I."

_What…? _Shocked at first, Lightning quickly recovered herself, because she realized that she could empathize. She knew how it was like to have no parents – the years after they got into that accident taught her what it was like to be independent, grown up, mature, and, above all, _lonely_. It was then she could no longer enjoy life as it was before. Sighing, Lightning reached for Vanille's delicate hands on her shoulder, "Sorry,"

"No, don't be," Her smile never faded, "But… I'm pretty sure that my parents would like you, onee-san."

"… Why?" She inquired, as she completely doubted her statement.

Vanille giggled. "What kind of parents would hate a person who loves and cares for their daughter with all her heart?"

The soldier took some time to absorb her words, and then narrowed her eyebrows suspiciously, "So… you're _claiming_ that I'm in love with you?"

She chuckled. "Hmm? What was that? I didn't catch the last few words…"

Lightning smiled back slyly. "Oh, you didn't catch it?"

"Nope."

The girl was obviously playing with her. Lightning held her closer and leaned in. She crushed her pursed lips against Vanille's cheek and nibbled gently at her skin. "Are you sure you didn't?"

"Onee-san!" Vanille resisted, giggling playfully like a child. The woman's kisses were strangely tickling her, and pulling away only made Lightning tighten her grip at her waist which, at the same time, was tickling her too. She squealed and when her reflexes kicked in, she literally bounced out of the woman's grasp and fell onto the sand. This was like a game of _tag_ or something – Vanille's initial reaction was to get up quickly so that she could run, because she knew that the soldier was going to catch up faster than the speed of light.

Lightning, of course, was up to the challenge. Nobody runs away from her, after all – at least not successfully. She got up, taking her sweater with her, she ran after the girl. Lucky for them, the beach was empty, so they could run as freely as they wished. That redhead was actually pretty fast, Lightning thought. As skinny, weak, and delicate as she looked, Vanille was actually pretty sporty, as seen in the volleyball game a few weeks ago; it was near necessary to run at top speed to catch up to her. As she came close enough, she threw her arms around the girl's waist and prevented her from running any further. "Where do you think you're going?" Lightning asked deviously, not even breaking a sweat even though they sprinted pretty much across half of the beach.

The woman's touch was once again tickling her, and Vanille was already out of breath – it was hard enough for her to gasp for air. "Aah! Okay, okay, I give up!" She panted through her laughter. Vanille turned around and hung her arms over Lightning's shoulders. Her bright grin shone into the woman's eyes.

She smiled back, "Caught you," Lightning stated like a little girl. Her hands rested at the redhead's waist.

Vanille shook her head. "You caught me already, onee-san, when we first met."

Lightning loosened up upon hearing that. "I can't recall _catching _you back then."

She tiptoed. Her half-lidded eyes came in contact with the woman's soft ones, "No, I meant…" The redhead whispered, her breath tickled Lightning's sensitive skin on her lips, "… you caught my heart."

The soldier blinked. "Vanille—"

She didn't give her the chance to finish. The girl caught Lightning's lips again, this time, fully. Her hands moved up pull the woman's head closer to deepen the kiss. Lightning reacted quickly; she parted her mouth and Vanille immediately slipped her tongue into her, exploring her domain as the woman fought back without hesitation.

Lightning tilted her head to the side, giving both the girl and herself more access to each other. It was done out of habit – her hands began to wander around the redhead's body; sliding down to feel the curve of her back and then up again to hold her tight. She could hear Vanille moan as she pushed herself into the girl. The sound gave her entire body this tingly feeling, but it quickly faded as Vanille suddenly gripped onto her biceps – she must be getting excited, or perhaps, _turned _on. The thought of it gave her a rush of adrenaline within her body. Encouraged, Lightning pushed deeper, but when she did, Vanille winced and drew back.

Gasping desperately for air, Vanille attempted to step away, but the soldier held her close. She clearly wasn't letting this slide without a proper explanation. Vanille could tell that she was way into it after all. She looked down at her feet, half-buried in the cold sand and started, "Onee-san… I'm… sorry."

Lightning lifted her chin, making the girl face up.

Yet she wasn't able to look her in the eye, "… I'm sorry… that this is all I can give to you…"

Hearing that, a gentle smile spread across her face. "Vanille, you're… apologizing to me because of this?"

She nodded. "I'm sorry I can't give you any more than this,"

Lightning let out a sigh. For a second, the sounds of the tides consumed her, but when she snapped back to reality, she did something that shocked even herself. Reaching up, she pinched the sides of Vanille's soft cheeks, lifted her skin up, and literally forced a smile on her. "You really are a silly girl,"

"Ow… ow…! Onee-san!" She cried. Although Lightning wasn't pinching hard, it still hurt to have her flesh tugged like this.

But to the soldier, Vanille looked incredibly cute – and she couldn't stop grinning. Releasing her, Lightning planted a soft kiss on her forehead. "Vanille, I don't need anything else, so as long as you stay with me." She finished and rubbed on her cheeks to ease the pain.

The redhead pouted, making those reddened cheeks look extra puffy. She really did not know what to say. On one hand, she was delighted that the cold soldier was showing her happy side so much now, but on the other – _which she tried hard not to think about _– she knew that it was going to be very difficult to leave her. It would definitely tear her apart, but if she didn't go, then it would bring so much more pain to both of them…

"_The sooner, the better."_

_I can't do it. _

She really couldn't. Lightning was the only one left – she was the one, bright, shining star left for her to cling onto in this universe, she really couldn't lose her. If she did, then she'd be comparable to a corpse—

"Hey, what's with the angry face?" Lightning teased, poking the tip of her nose.

Her words brought her back; she was spacing out again. "N-nothing…" Vanille stuttered nervously.

_Hide in the happier thoughts, Vanille._

_"__Lie_ _in your so-called happier thoughts, Vanille."_

_Just hide…_

"_Yeah, just hide from reality."_

_You'll be safe like this._

"_You coward,"_

_Nothing will hurt you._

"_Stay in your little fantasy."_

"Then should we get going?" The woman asked, her feminine voice cut through the echoing words in her mind.

As Lightning helped to fix her orange bangs, the girl swallowed the conflicting emotions down her throat and nodded. "Un, let's go!" She hooked her arm around the strawberry-blonde's and rested her head on her shoulder.

* * *

"Why did we end up coming here, of all places?"

Her tone was obviously annoyed. Vanille simply chuckled at her question. "Well, you still need to thank Lebreau-san and them for taking care of you that night. You were really, _really_ drunk. I heard that you could have done some real bad things if it wasn't for them…"

The girl's explanation wasn't convincing at all. "I never asked them to take care of me." She said coldly.

"Oh, come on," Vanille stepped in front of her and prepared to get serious, but Lightning quickly turned away for she could see an upcoming lecture from her. The redhead grimaced and turned the woman's head towards herself. "Onee-san, don't be such a kid! You need to thank those who have helped, regardless of who they are. Surely, you know that, right?"

She rolled her eyes. "Tch."

Vanille groaned. "Gee, I don't understand how you can be nice to me but not to your friends…"

"You're… different…" Lightning crossed her arms. She could see at the corner of her eyes, Vanille was holding in some sort of… _joyful _expression? She didn't know, but she figured that she probably said something wrong again. Going back on topic, she went on, "I've known them since I was a kid. They've seen me like this for the longest time, so it'd be weird for them if I suddenly started acting… nice."

Disappointed, the redhead sighed. "If you insist…" She turned around to look at the entrance to the bar; it seemed like tonight was busy as usual. "… But it wouldn't hurt to say a _thank you_, would it? Besides, you're hungry, aren't you? And since we're here, we might as well go in to eat, right?"

Lightning took a deep breath. Much to her dismay, she had to agree. If this were coming from anyone else, she'd probably be long gone, but it wasn't like Vanille's request was going to kill, "Alright, fine." So she gave in, "But we're leaving as soon as we're done eating."

"And _thanking_," Vanille finished.

"Whatever." She stuffed her hands in her sweater's pockets and walked forward, pushing the half-transparent door open. The girl followed closely behind, with a grin present on her.

Once they stepped in, Lightning first made sure nobody from the Guardian Corps was around, since she didn't feel like talking to her co-workers even after her shift. Luckily, there really wasn't anyone she knew of in the bar, but then, when she turned to the counter, a certain pink-haired girl caught her eyes, along with a huge, familiar-looking man sitting beside her. The two were talking to the barmaid behind the counter, who was none other than Lebreau.

The barmaid, having built the habit of greeting every single customer that walked into the bar, looked to the entrance once the bell hung on it made its routinely noise. She was about to say _welcome_ or something, when she realized that it was Lightning and Vanille, she stood up straight and waved at them with glee, "Hey! Light, Vanille!"

The two sitting in front of her turned to look at the entrance.

"God damn it." Lightning grunted.

Vanille wasn't sure whether it was because of the fact that Lebreau shouted their names out, or that her sister and future brother-in-law were also present that got her pissed off, but she knew that they had to get this over with. She stepped forward and dragged onto the soldier's sleeve, pulling her towards everyone. "Hello!" She greeted cheerfully as she always would.

"Onee-chan! Vanille-san!" Serah called with delight. She stood up and prepared to give her sister a hug, but seeing that grumpy look on her, she instantly lost the idea. Instead, she turned to the redhead and smiled sweetly at her. "It's nice to see you again!"

She nodded. "Yeah, I didn't think I'd be seeing you here!" Pausing momentarily, she looked behind the younger girl to find Snow, grinning gingerly at her. Vanille returned that grin, "Hi there!"

The man's teeth showed, but what showed even more was his puffy, purple left cheek. Those punches from his to-be sister-in-law on that night actually left huge bruises; Vanille could only imagine how much it hurt. "Hi Vanille! Good to see you!" He looked to the soldier, who still had her arms crossed and was looking elsewhere. "Hello, nee-san!" He said as politely as possible.

Lightning jolted her head to glare at him, her blue eyes nearly pierced through his soul. "Don't call me that," She ordered quietly.

Her quiet voice was enough to make Snow snap his mouth shut, however.

The younger strawberry-blonde kind of saw that coming. She sighed and was about to tell Snow to just keep quiet for the rest of the night, but then—

"Onee-san!" Vanille called strictly at the tall woman, her hands at her hips. The posture seemed to frighten the soldier slightly, as her initial reaction was to avoid eye contact. "You shouldn't be like that!"

Serah's expression twisted in surprise. Did Vanille just…? She just… _scared _her sister, didn't she? Who would _dare _to do such a thing? Who would _lecture _the mighty sergeant like that? Who would even have the chance to _live through _that! Serah knew that she would never have the courage to, because her sister would always fight or argue back, and she would always, _always_ win. Though, right now, the woman was simply looking at the redhead with subtle irritation.

"Please try to be nicer?" Vanille requested softly.

… And the girl was talking to her sister as if she were taming a puppy! Serah had her jaws dropped by now. The fact that Lightning was actually listening – that she was actually keeping _quiet _and paying attention to everything Vanille was telling her just put her in awe. She turned to Lebreau, who had her eyes widened in shock. Serah let out a breath of relief. Yes, good; she wasn't the only one who was surprised. Even the barmaid found this strange.

"Fine. Just tell him not to say anything stupid." Lightning suddenly said.

The redhead turned to the blonde man, who instantly wiped the beads of sweat on his forehead upon hearing that. At least he wasn't going to get punched today. Vanille nodded. "Good," She pulled the woman towards the stool next to Serah and pushed her down, while she herself took the seat right next to her.

Lightning crossed her legs and leaned an elbow on the counter, supporting her chin with the same arm. It didn't take her long to feel two pairs of heavy eyes planted on her, and she knew very well why they were. "Just you working today?" But she had her ways of breaking the tension.

"Uh—" The question was directed to her, and the barmaid was brought back from her train of thoughts. "No, Gadot and the boys are working at the back. Truck's just arrived with new delivery and they're taking care of it."

"I see." Her answer wasn't interesting, but she had nothing else to say. The stares were getting heavier and heavier by the second; even the air was getting thicker, and she was near her limit for enduring this strange aura. "… Would you two please stop looking at me like this?" She asked without having to give them the infamous and deadly glare.

The soldier's strict voice was enough to throw the barmaid and her sister's eyes elsewhere.

Lebreau quickly recovered and broke into a quiet laughter. "Sorry, Light," She apologized and poured two cups of ice water for Lightning and Vanille, "But, like… y'know, it's just kind of interesting to see you obeying someone without question."

The strawberry-blonde could see her glancing at the redhead, who wasn't paying much attention to their conversation as she was too enticed by the menu in her hands.

"Isn't that right, Serah?" Lebreau asked, hoping she could get some sort of back-up.

The younger Farron sister instantly nodded her head. "Yep," She replied enthusiastically. She was beyond amazed that her older sister actually listened to what she said for once, for she was quite positive that back then on the beach, everything she told her would only disperse into thin air. It was like this all the time when they were young; when their parents told them to do chores, the older sibling would disappear to some place and then return when the task was no longer needed to be done, and when she herself told Lightning to focus on a single, serious relationship and to stop toying with random strangers, she would brush off the subject coldly. Needless to say, the older strawberry-blonde was very much a rebel, and would never listen to other people unless they had something important or serious to say. Of course, Serah was now delighted that Lightning had, for once, _considered _her words. "Onee-chan, about what I told you that night…" She wanted to confirm it, however. "… have you put some thought into it?"

Lightning lifted a brow. She had a feeling that somebody would ask her this. Most of the time, she would plan ahead before doing things, but when it comes to personal businesses, especially those that revolve around relationships, she would only improvise. Her sister's eyes gleamed with anticipation as she waited for an answer; Lightning had no other way to reply, so she turned to the redhead on her left, and tapped her on the shoulder. "Vanille,"

The girl drew her eyes away from the menu and turned to the woman. "Hmm? What is it, onee—"

She captured her lips, cutting her off.

Vanille's eyes widened as her entire body tensed up. Her hands searched desperately for something to grab onto. Although the kiss was soft and gentle, unlike the one they shared earlier in the evening, but in the current setting, it felt more like an aggressive and forced one. Still, the feeling of it surprisingly brought her a sense of calmness, as much as it made her heart race. Finally adapting to the moment, she closed her eyes and gripped onto Lightning's sweater, tugging onto it with her shaky fingers.

The woman smirked into the kiss, as she could feel Vanille's rising excitement. But instead of prolonging their intimate moment, Lightning suddenly pulled away.

Vanille's half-lidded eyes shyly brushed across Lightning's pale red lips, and her cheeks flushed into a similar colour.

That unbearable cuteness on Vanille just made her want to do _so much more_, but the soldier restraint herself. Turning only her head around to her sister, she started, almost in a cocky manner, "Did that answer your question?"

Serah was covering her mouth with a hand, perhaps she wanted to hide that overjoyed-expression. "O-onee-chan…" She spoke through her hand. She spun around to look at her boyfriend, wanting to share her happiness.

Snow had the same expression, as figured, though he didn't bother to cover his mouth. "Wow." He said simply in astonishment.

Lebreau, who was trying hard to hold in the joy, excitement, and need to scream everything out, breathed with relief, "Finally."

"I'm glad that onee-chan actually listened to me for once." Serah added. She also had the biggest need to express how happy she was.

The barmaid snickered. "Aren't you happy that Light confessed, Vanille? Now you know that your love for her isn't one-sided,"

Vanille was covering her flaming cheeks up with her palms, "I… I'm…" She knew that long ago, but hearing those cheesy words out loud still got her embarrassed.

"What, she told you?" Lightning asked the raven-haired barmaid.

Lebreau shrugged her shoulders. "She didn't really have to. It was obvious from the start, but yeah, she… _hinted _it to us a few weeks ago." Leaning onto the counter with her elbows, she continued, "Although, she was rather concerned about the competition…"

"Oh, n-no! No, no!" Vanille shot her head up and waved her hands, "Onee-san explained it to me, so I'm not thinking about it anymore—"

"… Anymore?"

"See? Onee-chan, your past bad _habits_ got Vanille-san scared…" Serah said in a faked-concerned voice. She obviously wanted to get her sister to show more affection towards the poor girl.

"No, onee-san, that's not it—" Vanille denied with fear. The last thing she wanted was to have Lightning do something crazy in front of them again – though it wasn't like she didn't enjoy it, it was just that she'd rather have the woman do it somewhere private. "— I… just didn't know if you'd like me or not…" She muttered.

The soldier frowned. "Are you kidding me? How many times do I have to tell you that those people were nothing compared to you?"

She could never get used to Lightning's way of talking – to get straight to the point no matter how uncomfortable the subject was. "I-I wouldn't know…! I can't read minds, and this is only my first time dating—" She covered her mouth. Vanille could not believe she just said that out loud.

"Oh?" Lightning's frown turned into a small smile. "So I'm _your _first?"

Vanille backed away from her as she leaned in. "Maybe…"

Much like earlier on the beach, Lightning moved in, captured the girl in her arms and then nibbled on her cheek, "Yes or no?"

The redhead giggled. She had long given up on breaking free from the woman's grasp, but she knew that she still had to answer. "Aah! Onee-san!" She squealed, "Okay! Yes you are!"

But Lightning simply snickered into the girl's soft cheek and continued whatever she was doing.

Lebreau shook her head, "I like how you two are totally ignoring our presence." She stated. The barmaid wasn't annoyed though; she was actually enjoying herself – the two's bickering was rather cute and entertaining to watch.

"That's just what couples do." Snow commented casually. Hearing that, the younger Farron sister leaned onto his muscular shoulder and smiled up at him, to which the man smiled back; Serah had always told him about Lightning's unstable relationships with people, but now, seeing how close the two were, it was safe to say that Serah no longer had to worry.

The _employee's only_ door behind the counter suddenly swung open, and Gadot's fiery hair caught everyone's attention. "Uh, hey! Can somebody come to the back and – oh, Light! Little miss! How are you—" Seeing the two so close together, he instantly forgot what he was going to say. Slowly, a priceless expression appeared on his tanned face.

"Gadot! Why are you slacking off? There's still a ton in the cargo!" A boy's voice came from behind. His bright blonde hair allowed everyone to identify him as Maqui. Popping his head out of the room, he had the same intentions of greeting Lightning and Vanille, but he, too, was overwhelmed by the similar feeling of shock.

Still in the woman's arms, Vanille tilted her head a little. "Hello," She said happily.

"H-hi…" Maqui whispered – he must be too surprised to speak clearly.

Gadot sneered, "Whoa, how… what did we miss?"

"Quite a lot," Lebreau laughed.

Snow and Serah nodded in agreement.

"Aw, damn! Dude, tell me later, alright?" He was directing that to everyone. "I gotta get some stuff done at the back…"

"What did you guys need?" Vanille asked curiously.

"Oh, we just need a couple of extra hands to move some stuff into the basement from the truck. But, of course, we're not going to have you, little miss, to help! I was planning to get Lebreau or Snow… just someone big and tough!"

"Uh, excuse me? _Big _and _tough_?" The barmaid grimaced, "I find that rather offensive."

"Sorry," He rolled his eyes and corrected, "I meant _skilled _and _strong_."

The redhead grinned; an idea came to mind. She moved in to Lightning's ear, "Onee-san, now's your chance to thank them! Remember to actually _say _it, though." She pulled back and turned to Gadot, "Onee-san's offering to help!"

"W-what?" Not only him, but everyone else around them stared at her. Lightning Farron was… willing to help…?

The soldier released Vanille and stood up. "Uh huh." She made her way to the door. "Let's just get this over with." She said quietly to the bartender and walked into the room.

Maqui stepped aside quickly to get out of Lightning's way. "Um… Light-san is strong, but we'll need more than that…"

"Alrighty, I'm coming too!" Snow finished his glass of water in one single gulp and stood up. He made his way to the door as well and disappeared into the room.

Gadot shrugged his shoulders. "Well, guess that means we don't need your help, big-and-tough Lebreau-san!"

She threw the towel in his face, "Shut the hell up and hurry up and get your stuff done! It's long past my freaking break, and it's your turn to stand here, you asshole!"

"Heh, love you too," And he shut the door behind him.

Vanille blinked. She turned to Serah, who was giggling throughout their argument, and whispered, "Lebreau-san and Gadot-san… are they…?"

The younger strawberry-blonde shook her head. Once she took control over her breath again, she answered, "No, not _yet_, but they've always been like this – ever since they were young, too."

"Aw…" The redhead imagined the younger version of the two snapping and bickering at each other, "That's cute…"

Serah chuckled. "Not as cute as you and onee-chan,"

"… Eh?"

"I mean, you changed her a lot. She's been talking a lot more now," She stared down at her empty glass, "… Onee-chan hasn't been this happy since our parents…"

The subject of the Farron sisters' parents had always intrigued her, but she never had the courage to ask. She was afraid that once she did, Lightning would go berserk and never talk to her again. These situations were pretty typical in the television drama series she had watched for the past few weeks when she was bored at home. But right now, she had the opportunity to ask Serah, who was much more passive and calm, compared to her sister. She had to take the chance. "I'm… sorry, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to… but… what really happened?"

"… To our parents?"

She nodded.

Serah thought for a second. She started to trace the rim of the glass cup with her index finger. "They…" She said in a soft voice, "… were killed in a so-called _accident_, which could have been prevented if it wasn't because of the Pulsians."

Vanille gasped. Her heart suddenly felt like it was burning at the core of the sun's temperature.

"This was nearly seven years ago, when onee-chan was only fourteen, and I was twelve." She began. "Our parents were only simple medical researchers who travelled to different places from time to time to gather subjects. Somehow, the Pulsians found out that the Fifth Ark – which was where our parents were working back then – was the most unarmed, defenseless, and weakest area accessible to Pulse." The younger girl swallowed, "They infiltrated the area armed with weapons and such… they threatened to kill everyone if the researchers did not do as they were told. Cocoon's military never had the best plans, so when things got out of hand, they sent troops in to _clear out the area_." Her voice became softer; it was getting more difficult to breathe, "… Our parents most likely died in all the havoc. And because their bodies—because _most_ of the bodies of the researchers were never found, the news only reported that an '_unidentified accident caused by Pulsians happened at the Fifth Ark'_… not a single word was mentioned about the massacre."

Vanille clenched her fists. She was near tears.

"Onee-chan only joined the military at first out of anger and hatred; she wanted to take revenge, but when she found out from fellow soldiers what _really _happened back then in the Fifth Ark, she became lost, unclear, and uncertain of what to do anymore. She started to hate her job and even herself for being so caught up by those conflicting emotions. I've always asked her to share with me whatever that bothered her, but onee-chan doesn't want me to worry, that's why she always hid her true feelings from everyone. She's done that for too long, and… that's why she's become so antisocial."

Lebreau sighed. "Hey, cheer up, Serah! At least Light's got Vanille now,"

She smiled at the barmaid and nodded. "Yeah," Turning to the redhead, she was about to ask her about her family background, but was horrified when she found the girl trembling furiously; a hand was clenching onto her tank top at the chest, and another covering her mouth. Vanille was crying.

"I'm so sorry…" She sobbed.

"Vanille-san…" Serah placed a palm on the pigtailed-girl's shoulder.

Voices were audible once again from behind the _employees' only _door. Snow was the first to come out, followed by Gadot, Yuj, and Maqui.

"See, that wasn't so hard!" Snow said cheerfully, "Don't know why you guys made it sound like it." He turned to look at his girlfriend, "I'm back, Serah—" The man quickly stopped when he found the rarest expression on her gentle face. Serah was glaring at him.

"_Where's onee-chan!_" She mouthed at Snow.

"What is with the hold up? Get out of the way," A familiar feminine voice sounded from behind the men. The strawberry-blonde pushed passed them; she wanted to hurry up and eat, so that she could go home with Vanille as soon as possible—

"Onee-san…"

Lightning snapped her head towards the sad sound.

Vanille stood up and ran at full speed towards the woman. She threw her arms around her and when they collided, the force was strong enough to push them both back into the room. Nobody dared to enter the room, as they'd expect a fatal blow in the face from Lightning Farron.

"Vanille… what happened? Why are you crying?" She asked, stroking the girl's head.

She shook her head. There was too much guilt; she couldn't tell her. "Serah told me about your parents… and… I'm… I'm so sorry, onee-san…"

Lightning started to rub her back. "Hey…"

The girl sobbed harder into the woman's shoulder. The heavy pain in her chest intensified; it was near impossible to breathe, but Vanille continued to cry. _It's all my fault._ She wanted to say it out loud.

"_It's all your fault."_

"Why are you apologizing? It's not your fault…" The soldier comforted softly.

"_Yes, it's all this filthy, disgusting, and selfish __slut's__fault."_

"I'm sorry…" Vanille could only repeat those words. She felt that if she said anything else, she'd be everything the voice called her.

"_Lying again and again and again and again and again and again—"_

She didn't care anymore. Everything this voice was saying was true – there was no hint of mistake or flaw from it. Vanille was starting to realize how low she really was. To cling onto such an innocent person whose family was ruined, whose happiness was taken away, all because of—

"_Leave her before you rob her of everything, before you break her heart."_

_Yeah. _

Vanille pulled away. She didn't give Lightning the chance to look into her eyes – she, herself, was afraid of looking into _hers._ Instead, she tiptoed and kissed the woman, almost as if she wasn't ever going to anymore.

_I will._

_"You can no longer stay in that little fantasy of yours, Vanille."_

* * *

_**Cliffhanger ftw. And yes… as we move into the main storyline, everything will become darker and more uncomfortable, if you will. But of course, there will be times where I will slip in fluff and all, so don't worry. So, as I have mentioned back then in chapter one, READ ON AT YOUR OWN RISK! **_

_**Thanks to all the "motivation" from last time haha. You guys are so kind with the reviews! Oh, and thanks to all the anonymous/unsigned reviewers! I would reply to you, but you guys don't have accounts, so I can't lol. Keep them coming though, I get inspired when I read them hehe. Big shout-out to Ori0n by the way, who drew me my current profile picture on FF! **_

_**And finally, thanks to all of those who PMed me regarding the earthquake and tsunami. I don't actually live in Japan even though I am Japanese, demo watashi ha heki yo! Minna yasashi sugitte arigatou! :D**_


	12. Don't Be

_**A/N: Please please please please do NOT read this chapter if you could not stand the last part of chapter 8 (IE. Lightning being drunk and almost xxxing Vanille), because this is 5x worse! Still, this is nowhere close to an M, so meh. **_

Chapter 12 - Don't Be

_It wasn't because she was incapable; it was because they told her to be this way. She wanted to help and fight with them – she didn't want to leave them alone. But she was told to hide, keep quiet, and nothing else. She hated it. How she was always treated like a little girl, like a princess, like she was some useless idiot who would only be protected. She was well aware that she did not deserve this. The girl tried her best to not take it all for granted. She tried her best to repay them._

_But she was told to hide._

_She knew it was pointless to go and fight; it wasn't like they were going to win anyway. They would all eventually die, but even so, she did not want to bring their hopes down. So she did as she was told; she simply listened and hid._

_She hid as they screamed._

_The next time she opened her eyes, those people were there. The enemies. They entered the dark, torn, broken room, searching for survivors so that they could do whatever they were told to do. There was no doubt that she was scared – terrified – of course, but all she could do was cover her mouth, hold her breath, and stop herself from making any sounds._

_Pathetic._

_They came closer. She could see their shadows and hear their loud footsteps. Funny, even something as simple as footsteps, the girl found them to be malicious, all because it came from __**them**__, the enemies. Shutting her eyes tightly, she hugged her knees closer to herself with her free hand. Perhaps… perhaps if she couldn't see them, and remained motionless, tiny, insignificant… then they wouldn't catch her? Then they wouldn't make her scream like those who tried to protect her?_

"_Hn,"_

_She gasped and opened her eyes. A shadow covered her – someone was standing right in front of her and was blocking the little light there was in the room. That face… that foreign, unfamiliar, disgusting face… it got her sick to the stomach; she wanted to throw up._

"_What's with that look, girl?"_

_Even his voice was repelling. She glared at him. She did not want to appear like she was afraid._

"_Hmm? Trying to be scary, now, are we?" He bent down and grabbed her by the wrist, pulling her up forcefully. "Everybody else is either captured or killed."_

_She gritted her teeth, clenched her fists hard as she continued to glare – pointlessly – at the man._

"_You really aren't afraid? But your friends are all gone, and you're the only one left…" He feigned a sorrowful voice and pushed her against the wall, pinning her wrists above her head. "But that doesn't matter," His eyes traced the structure of her beautiful face, "… More importantly, I'm tired of all of this, and I need some entertainment for the night. My __**men **__need some entertainment for the night." Then, with force, he grabbed onto the girl's chin, making her look directly into his eyes. _

_She stared hard without making a sound._

"_You're quite attractive, aren't you?" A devilish grin spread across his face. "Bet you miss your friends, hmm?"_

_She wanted to kill him, but there was no way she could move._

"_If you look at me nicely, I'll think about sparing those who are still rotting on the battlefield."_

… _Hearing that, her eyes softened._

"_That's it…"_

_She loosened her body._

_He laughed. "That's it…" He pulled onto her necklaces violently, breaking them, making the beads fall and scatter onto the floor. "Just listen to me and you'll see them again…" He tugged onto her pink tank top; his other hand easily removed everything else from her body, making her stand there, exposed – naked._

_Pathetic. The tears just can't seem to stop._

_His large hands traced her slim figure, touching, feeling, and violating her body as he eyed at her trembling form. "You're more obedient and easygoing compared to the rest of your lowlife-friends…" He started to remove the belt to his pants. 'How about… I make a deal with you?"_

_Pathetic. She was actually listening._

"_Come with me. Do everything as I say," His pants fell to the ground, "… and each time you do it with me…" He held onto her hips, positioning himself in front of her, "… I'll spare ten people."_

_Her eyes snapped open. "What— uungh— aah!"_

Vanille sat up and covered her mouth as she gagged. Pushing the blankets off herself, she made her way through the dark room, opened the door, ran across the hallway, and into the washroom. She ran to the toilet, and she threw up.

"… _Stop… s-stop… please…!"_

She coughed up everything as tears poured from her eyes.

"_No… please stop—!"_

There couldn't possibly be anything else to throw up, but the mere thought of _that_ just… it was just…

"_Resisting, are you?" His husky voice grunted against her ear._

"_Please stop…! I can't… I can't…" She panted heavily._

_He narrowed his eyebrows. Turning to one of his men standing at the doorway, he ordered, "Bring them in. Tie them down, make them watch me fuck her, and then deal with their pathetic lives."_

_She gasped. "No… please, no! I-I'll listen to you, so please… just don't… please don't hurt them!"_

Vanille held onto her shirt at the chest, her fingers dug deep into her own flesh. The thought of _that_ hurt so much. She wanted to bring some other pain to herself, to draw her attention away, to… to think about something else, because she couldn't take any more of it. Painful sobs mixed with uneven panting, it felt almost as if her lungs were burning up. She covered her mouth as she continued to claw and claw – she wanted to rip her skin… she wanted to rip her flesh, she wanted to bleed… she wanted to _kill _herself.

But if she did…

"Don't hurt them…" She begged out loud, her voice bounced off the walls of the washroom.

"_Then I'll need to find something else to hurt, don't I?" _The man continued to speak in her head.

Still on her knees, she bent forward, her forehead touched the floor. "You already have me…" Vanille spoke weakly.

"_What was that?" _He was grinding against her. His hands were all over her body…

This wasn't real, this was just a voice… these were only remnants of her memories, but… she could feel this. She could feel _him _touching her. "Aren't I enough…?"

He released her and turned to one of her friends – she could see, even though her eyes were closed – one who was too weak to even tremble in fear. _"I get bored of you once in a while… so, just for today…"_ The man made his way towards that body.

"Please don't hurt them…! Don't hurt them!" She called to him desperately.

He ignored her pleas and cries, for he had his attention on that near-dead body. The body was crying, she was in pain, but she did not even have the strength to show such things.

The girl's nails finally tore through her shirt, and were digging deep into her chest. "I'M RIGHT HERE!" She yelled at the top of her lungs, "I SAID DON'T HURT THEM!"

"_Heh," _He simply smirked, _"That's right. Show me more of this side." _The man's attention shifted back to Vanille. _"Show me that you actually want me,"_

"I'll… I'll let you have me… all of me, so please… leave them alone…!" It was getting to her. All this screaming, begging, everything she was doing made her want to throw up. Her head, body, limbs, and her heart were aching so much, she felt like she was being burnt alive. But she couldn't stop now; she needed to get him away from her – "You can do whatever you want…" She choked.

Vanille fell backwards; her head hit the floor heard. She felt it – she could see it. The man just pinned her down, and was touching her again. She could feel it. _"In this case, if you're so desperate, then I'm going to do you so hard until you pass out."_

* * *

She opened her eyes. For a moment, she kept still, and a random question of '_whose ceiling was she looking at?'_ swept away the thoughts of that dream. Slowly, she sat up to look around; _oh, typical _– she was in Lightning's room. Looking out the window, the girl could see that the sky was in a deep morning-blue colour, and the little light coming from the rising sun peeked out of the horizon line of the ocean. It got the room bright enough to allow her to see where the door was.

Getting off the bed, she attempted to tiptoe as she walked, but suddenly remembered that it wasn't necessary to keep quiet, since her hostess wasn't back from her night shift yet. Lightning told her that she would be back by noon, and that she could help herself to anything she needed.

Funny. _Anything _she needed? She only needed one thing, and that was forgiveness, but she would never obtain such a thing.

"… _I'm so sorry…"_

"_Why are you apologizing? It's not your fault…"_

She remembered every single detail from last night. She could even recall every bit of emotion she felt and had. Before she could face her directly, Vanille kissed her. She only did it because she was afraid… afraid that she would never be able to do it again after she told her. If Vanille told her that Lighting's parents' death was caused by her people, then would they still be able to remain this way? Would Lightning still love her?

Vanille made her way to the washroom, clueless as to what she could do from now on. Perhaps she should just do what she did best – run away.

"_Vanille, don't cry,"_

But Lightning…

"_I'm here."_

The woman's resounding words brought her warmth and comfort for the briefest moment, and then it all melted into guilt within seconds again. She couldn't take this any longer; she really, _really _could not. Whether she decided to stay or not, the outcome would be the same – she would still be deemed selfish, there was no alternate route. But if it meant to be selfish for Lightning's wellbeing, then she would choose that route.

Vanille looked to the mirror and leaned on the sink. Damn, she was a mess. Not just her hair, but those dark circles under her eyes… "Oh man…" She groaned as she brought a hand up to rub her eyes. But when she did so, she noticed that there was some sort of… dirt? No, dirt wasn't of this colour – it was deep red.

_Dried blood?_

Dried blood… in her fingernails? Vanille looked into the mirror again, her eyes slowly made their way down to her body, and then—

"What…?"

The girl took a few steps back, her trembling legs made it difficult for her to move.

A huge claw mark – it tore through her white tank top, stretching from her left breast down to her abdomen. It was huge, it looked like it was done by some large beast, and it was red – how could she not have noticed until now? Scared, and unwilling to face the truth, Vanille lifted her shirt hesitantly. Her hands shook unstably at the sight, but she was trembling more so because she could hardly feel the pain. Lifting the tank top so she could see enough of the scar, the girl widened her eyes in horror. Her skin was peeling off, she could see the pink, redness of her flesh, and now that she was looking at it so much, the pain she couldn't feel was starting to surface.

In shock, she quickly thought of excuses. "It was… it was supposed to be a dream…" She tried to convince herself.

"_But you liked it,"_

Terrified, Vanille gasped. She covered her ears and immediately crouched down. "No…" It was that voice – it was that same, _delusional _voice. In every single dream, she could hear that unpleasant voice, and recently, even when she was awake…

"_Don't deny it," _He was laughing. _"Look, you came so much…"_

"No…! I didn't – there's no way—"

"_No? Then what is this? Why are you so wet?"_

The girl could feel it. He was touching her _there_, and it felt the same as those times – "Stop it!" With all that she had left in her legs, she ran into the shower and turned the tab to the coldest. The freezing water ironically burned into her skin as she held onto her chest, clawing at the same wound once again, in the same way.

"_Running away won't help, girl. You'll only come back to me in the end. You'll come back, running, begging for more, begging… because you can't bear to leave them alone."_

Yes, that was exactly what she was thinking. No way in hell could she leave them; they were her friends, they were literally her _family_.

"_If you come back now, you can still save them."_

"I…"

"_I am offering you redemption. Come back, Vanille."_

"…"

"… _Or you can hide in your little fantasy, you can pretend nothing happened… but would you be able to get rid of that pain in your heart?"_

But what about Lighting? How could she leave her?

"_You can stay with that woman, but don't forget – your people killed her parents. What do you think she will do when she finds out?"_

"Onee-san… she…"

"_She will fucking murder you."_

Vanille could no longer feel herself. The cold water had numbed her entirely, and she did not even notice that she was kneeling in the bathtub, weighed down by that drenched tank top and shorts. The thought of Lightning finding out about the truth hurt more than getting raped. "She's… she's not going to forgive me…"

"_Yes, so come back…"_

"But I…"

"_Your people killed her parents."_

"No…"

"_**You **__killed her parents."_

"I didn't… I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't—!"

"_She won't love you anymore."_

"I… Onee-san… she… wouldn't…"

"_She won't love you anymore."_

"Onee-san won't… love me anymore—"

"_She will hate you."_

"… She will hate me…"

"…"

"Onee-san… won't forgive me…" Vanille covered her ears and trembled in fear, rather than in the cold, "… if I stay… she would only hate me…"

"_Submit."_

"… Because I'm a… liar…"

* * *

There was only one thing on her mind as she was making her way home: Vanille. Poor girl kept apologizing after she learned about her background; she had to take her home, but even then, she cried herself to sleep. It was striking to know how unbelievably sensitive that girl was, Lightning thought. Perhaps it was because Vanille also lost her parents? Well, she wouldn't know – all she cared about was the Vanille right now – her past did not matter. Still, the soldier couldn't help but to wonder about those dreams she saw all the time that made her cry. Just the sight of her tears made her feel sick to the stomach. When Vanille cried, every single time, since the very beginning, deep inside, Lightning could feel her heart crying with her. Was this the definition of _soul mate_? Whatever the case, Lightning just wanted to cuddle with her, to sleep by her side, to be there _with_ her.

She entered her apartment quietly – Vanille should probably be still sleeping. Maybe she shouldn't be bothering her after all? Perhaps they should have their roles reversed for once; Lightning wouldn't mind taking care of her – in fact, she'd be glad to. Vanille had never tried her cooking, so maybe her mood would turn for the better if she made something? The mere thought of it brought a smile to her face; she could already picture the redhead giggling childishly at her suggestion, and could only hold in the excitement of seeing her _actually _eating her food. Lightning did not even noticed that she was already standing in front of her room – _should probably stop daydreaming _– and gently, she pushed the door open.

"Huh?" How extremely odd; Vanille was nowhere in the room. But even stranger, her bed wasn't made (Vanille would always make it for her), and the chocobo doll the girl always cuddled with in her sleep was left on the ground. Lightning picked it up and stared at it briefly; she brushed the dust of its face and neatly set it back down on her bed. "Vanille?" The woman called out as she turned to head for the washroom.

No answer.

Lightning was beginning to panic. She burst in and looked about – nothing was in the room but thin air and the bright sunlight. Frustrated, she stomped out and headed for Serah's room, to which she really hoped that the girl would be in there—"Vanille!" Again, nothing but emptiness. She cursed infinitely in her mind as she ran out to the living room, hoping that she might have missed her sleeping figure on the sofa or something.

Again, no. Vanille wasn't there. The soldier hardly gave herself time to catch her breath – she kept coming up with guesses – if the girl wasn't here, then she should probably be shopping…? No, no… she didn't look like she was in the mood to shop at all. Perhaps she was hanging out with Gadot and them…? Or maybe she was down on the beach? The girl had never been down there in the afternoon, so maybe she was getting a feel of it? Yes, there really wasn't anything else to do here, so that was probably it. Lightning stumbled to put her boots back on, and without looking back, she headed outside.

It didn't take her long to get down – she was much faster if she took the stairs anyway. Lightning ran into the crowded eastern beach. The atmosphere was completely different from the one they were in yesterday; as it was currently noon, the amount of people here pretty much reached the peak. The soldier could care less about these people, however, as she only had her mind set on one. Could Vanille be amongst the crowd? She made her way to the centre, stepping past sunbathers and sandcastle-builders alike while trying to look for a certain redhead. Lightning made her way closer to the shore, not even bothering to look ahead of her because she was too focused on—

"Gah!" A yelp, and then a loud _thud _to the ground.

The strawberry-blonde had the highest hope that it was the girl she had bumped into, but it was only a teenaged boy, in nothing but a pair of yellow swimming trunks. "Watch it," She spat at him.

"Wha— you…" He stammered and got up, brushing sand off wherever they stuck on. Technically, she bumped into him, but how could he talk back at such a tall person? Standing straight, he bowed politely, and started, "I'm sorry, I should have watched where I was going,"

"Tch." She clicked her tongue and crossed her arms. Lightning wasn't seeking for an apology, she wanted Vanille…

"Um, onee-san, are you okay?" The boy asked, seeing how the woman was staring into space.

She snapped up to stare at him. Nobody else in the world called her _onee-san _but _her_. Only Vanille called her that. Lightning continued to look into the boy's cloudy, grey-green eyes… those eyes that were nothing like Vanille's beautiful green orbs… and her eyes moved to his messy silvery-white hair. … No, she was hallucinating. For a moment, she thought she had really bumped into the girl, but this boy was real – he was a real person. "I'm fine." She finally answered.

He swallowed. "Well, then, I'll just—"

"Hope!" A boyish voice called to the two. Strangely, Lightning recognized the voice. She turned to the sound and indeed, she knew the person – it was Maqui. "Eh? Light-san!" The blonde boy called, "Hm, I see that you've met Hope!"

She didn't care. Or, more specifically, she didn't give a _shit_. The woman nodded at him, and then at the silver-haired boy.

Maqui grinned. "He's my techy-buddy, along with those guys back there," He jerked a thumb behind his shoulder, gesturing at a group of young, teenaged boys. "So, what brings you here?"

She dropped her arms to her sides. Right, if Vanille was here then they'd probably know, Lightning thought. "I'm looking for Vanille. Have you seen her?"

"Oh, Vanille-san?" Maqui looked around himself, "Erm, well, I've been here for a good two hours now, and I didn't notice her at all…"

The soldier sighed. "I see." She tried her best to hide her disappointment.

"Uh, um…" He was also present last night, and he had a vague idea of what happened. Perhaps the two were fighting? That was why the woman was searching for her? Those were his thoughts. He wasn't entirely good at comforting, but he had to say something to brighten the mood. "L-Light-san, I'll try to have a look out for her. If I do see Vanille-san, I'll give you a call right away!"

Lightning nodded immediately. "That would be greatly appreciated, thanks." She turned around, thinking that she should head to the other side of town to look for her, but before doing so, she looked back at the silver-haired boy, "Kid, sorry about earlier."

"E-eh? Oh, oh – don't worry about it…"

She didn't even stay long enough to let him finish. The woman had already made her way to the staircase, preparing to head for the market. Her walking pace can be strangely fast, to the point where it would look like she was teleporting to ordinary people.

* * *

She was in the midst of people again, in the same market, just like that night… or day when they first mutually kissed. The only difference was that the girl wasn't present. As she walked past the stalls, she had in mind that it probably wasn't a bad idea to bring her here during the daytime – as everything didn't look _that _uninteresting as she said they would. Of course, she only told Vanille that it was more fun at night because it was like that when she last visited with Serah as young girls. It wouldn't even surprise her if it was actually more fun during the day.

The simple thought of walking through these streets again with Vanille brought a smile to her face, but first thing's first – she had to actually find her before they could do all of this again. Where could that girl possibly be? The night bar really was her last resort… Lightning had no idea where else she would go. Bodhum wasn't even that big. Would she wander off to a different residential area? Would she go visit Serah at Snow's apartment? Or would she be at the station, heading to god knows where? As she became more and more annoyed with these thoughts, Lightning's pace increased. She was near trotting by now, and the crowd around naturally gave way because she was still in her Guardian Corps uniform, and she had that ice-cold expression on her face. Those two physical attributes of hers were enough to scare away an entire army.

If it wasn't because of a familiar-sounding gun's noise, Lightning would not have noticed that she was right beside the game stall in which she won the girl the chocobo stuffed toy. She stopped running on the spot and looked at the surrounding radius of the stall. Nowhere. Vanille wasn't here as well. Lightning was more than frustrated by now. If she wasn't at the night bar, then she was going to kill someone. She stormed towards the stall owner, maybe he could help. "Hey,"

"Welcome— what the…! S-sergeant Farron!" And he was positive that the woman would never return, "How… how can I help you?" He smiled forcefully. "Do you want to play another game—"

"Cut the crap. Have you seen the girl who was with me last time? Redhead, pigtails, most likely in a pink tank top. Have you seen her walk by or something?"

"Eh – uh… n-no, ma'am, I haven't…"

Lightning muttered a 'thanks' quietly and then continued to head for the western side of town. "Where are you, Vanille…?" She hissed to herself. Seriously, how hard could it be to find a girl? She was a god damn sergeant, she could simply return to base and register the girl's name into the broadcast system – and then her name could be seen in every monitor of Bodhum. There would be no way that the redhead wouldn't be able to see – this town was unnecessarily jam-packed with monitors here and there. Yes, she could do that… Lightning switched her destination to the closest Guardian Corps outpost. That would be much quicker than running to the western beach.

_But…_

What was her last name? Lightning slapped a palm against her forehead. "Fuck…" How could she be so dumb! She didn't even know the girl's full name – how the hell could she register her in the broadcast system now? "Ugh…" The woman groaned in frustration.

Passerby's eyed her weirdly, but didn't stop to ask if she was feeling unwell.

So in the end, she really had to bet her hopes on the night bar. Lightning brought her head up and looked around once more; it was always best to double-check – triple-check, even, your surroundings under any circumstances. Those were standard rules she had learned from training. She turned to the game stall she was at earlier out of instinct, and… "Vanille…?"

The redhead was talking to the stall owner, and she looked… like she was in pain, but she was trying hard to smile. She was holding onto her chest with a hand _unnaturally_. The woman looked at the man; she tried to read their lips to figure out what they were talking about.

"… Over there! Sergeant Farron was looking for you!"

Vanille widened her eyes. She spun her head at the direction he was pointing at, and sure enough, the strawberry-blonde was standing, like a stone.

Lightning did not need to think twice; she dashed towards the girl with full speed, and didn't even care if she knocked people over.

Vanille, of course, started running as well. Truthfully, she had no idea where she could run to, but anywhere away from the woman would work. She just couldn't face her any longer…

The soldier, for some reason, wasn't catching up. It wasn't because of the massive crowd that was in her way, but rather, she really was having a hard time keeping up with the girl's speed. So, when she was chasing her last night on the beach, the girl wasn't running at full speed at all? What kind of joke was this? Being a sergeant, she couldn't keep up with a civilian?

If it wasn't because of the pain in her chest, this would be much easier. Vanille turned at corners and easily made it past anyone who came in her way with her amazing agility. But luck wasn't on her side. She made a wrong turn into an alley – into a dead end. She was about to head back out to continue running, but when she turned around, the woman was already present, and was blocking her way.

Lightning could not recall the last time she had panted like this. "Where are you going?" She asked. At least, none of the people or criminals she had chased up till now made her lose her breath. "Why are you running away from me?"

Vanille held onto her stinging chest.

"… Vanille…" She walked forward.

"Don't come…"

The woman stopped for a moment, but walked on right after. Nobody ever ordered her what to do – Lightning Farron always did as she pleased, so why would she listen now?

The girl looked down at her feet. "I beg you, please don't come…"

Yet the soldier was persistent; she approached the girl at a calm pace.

"Please, onee-san, don't come any closer…!" She stepped back.

But that only angered Lightning. She sped up and was finally close enough to grab onto her wrist.

"Don't—"

She pinned her against the hard, rough wall and trapped her body down with her own. "No. Don't _you_ tell me what to do," The woman grunted.

Vanille shook her head. "Let go of me,"

She had no intention of doing so. "I don't know what the hell is wrong with you, but if you run away from me, how am I going to help?"

"Just let go!"

Her grip on her wrist tightened. "Are you even listening!" She raised her voice.

Vanille winced in pain and shut her eyes. "Are _you _listening?"

"…"

She fought hard to prevent those tears from seeping through her eyes – she had cried enough for the day. "Have you… even stopped once to think…?"

Lightning was speechless.

"Do you even know where I came from, how I got here, what I'm doing here, and who I am?" The redhead demanded.

She clenched her free hand into a fist.

Vanille swallowed. She was going to tell her – now was the only chance. "Onee-san, I'm—"

"_Nobody _talks to me like that." The soldier gritted her teeth as she spoke. Yes, not even her superiors talked to her like that. Her eyes sharpened and they flashed dangerously – she could feel her blood boil with rage. Taking hold of both the girl's wrists, she held them above her head with a hand. Lightning pushed a knee up and grinded it between Vanille's legs with force.

"Onee-san…!" She struggled to break free, but obviously the soldier was far stronger than herself. "What are you… what are you doing…!"

Lightning grunted a sound that resembled a wild animal's growl. Vanille was moving violently, squirming hard and trying her best to escape – _why_? Why did she have to be like this? Why did she have to resist? Why did she have to run? Why couldn't she just LISTEN TO HER? "Don't move,"

Vanille ignored that husky voice of an order. She continued to move wildly, unstoppably… perhaps this way, Lightning would get the message. Maybe then she would understand that she was unable to take it. "Don't be like this…" She whimpered.

None of the girl's words were going through her ears. Lightning couldn't hold back – she couldn't just let Vanille, _her property_, run away. Her morals weren't pulling her back anymore as the only thing she currently believed in was that she had to stop the girl from going away. She didn't care how or what she was going to do, there was just _no way_ that she would allow Vanille to leave.

"Please stop…!" Her hands were locked tightly above her head, and every time she tried to move, Lightning's knee would push up higher, giving her that feeling… that same, unpleasant… _disgusting _feeling. And when she opened her tired eyes to beg for mercy, all Vanille could see were shadows of those heartless men. She squeezed her eyes shut, as she did not want to look at them.

Annoyed with her unwillingness to cooperate, Lightning gripped onto Vanille's chin and turned her head towards herself, subsequently crushing her lips against her soft ones.

She yelped helplessly and continued to squirm, but no matter how hard she tried, the soldier just did not seem to understand – her grip was getting tighter and tighter by the second – it was near impossible for her to breathe by now. How pathetic… just like the times when those men were holding her down, when they were hurting her, she couldn't run. Right now, it was exactly the same – Lightning, the woman whom she thought she could trust and love, was doing it again. So, everything she thought about her was wrong? Lightning Farron really was not a gentle and kind person; the concern she showed towards her up until now, all the things that Serah described her sister as… were they all just an act? Was _this _her real side? Perhaps, perhaps not. Maybe a more logical explanation was that she was fated to be this miserable and useless. Maybe… she was born to be tortured. The more she thought about this, the more her heart hurt. No matter how hard she tried to fight back, those tears just went with gravity when she blinked – she really wished she would stop crying. Actually, she couldn't even believe that she even had the tears left to cry for this.

Finally, the girl stopped struggling. Lightning decided that she could loosen her grip on her wrists; she still held onto them though, as she wanted her to maintain her position. The soldier was no longer trying to push her tongue into the redhead – it seemed like she gave up resisting. But she wanted Vanille to respond… she wanted more affection. So with her free hand, she moved down to slip underneath her tank top. Lightning wanted to touch her, she wanted to feel her, she wanted Vanille to—

… _What is this?_

Lightning could feel some sort of… moist scratch under the fabric. It felt like… fresh wounds? She pulled back quickly and lifted her tank top up – _a scar… no, there were five… claw… marks…? _– to find where the scars ended, or more appropriately, where they started. Her fingertips followed the trail; the blood has yet to dry, and she couldn't believe that she did not notice this earlier, but the bloody stains were visible on the pink shirt. Some of the blood was even seeping through the white bra she was wearing. The wound evidently did not look deep, but without proper treatment, any scar would bleed like this. "Vanille, what happened—" She cut herself off short when she found the girl crying, soundlessly.

She really was pathetic; the tears won't seem to stop no matter how hard she tried to think of happier memories. But it didn't matter – who would care, anyway? It wasn't like she had anyone who bothered about her safety or whatever. Even Lightning… even _she _could violate her like those men. Besides, being the one who took away this woman's family, being the one who _murdered _those innocent people, she probably deserved all of this. Vanille glanced at the soldier, who couldn't tear her eyes off her emerald ones. For the first time, the girl was looking at a _scared _Lightning. Swallowing hard, she began, "What's wrong?" Hatred… or was it anger? Whatever it was, something unpleasant went with her voice as she spoke, "I thought you wanted this."

Lightning stayed still. She couldn't find the right words to respond with.

"Why did you stop?" She continued, "Am I not enough for you?"

She looked away. She was afraid – yes, the mighty soldier was _afraid _to get caught in those green eyes. Those teary, crying… sorrowful eyes. What did she do? How could she not notice that the girl was in this much pain?

Vanille breathed. "Just do whatever you want." Her whisper was shaky.

… What? Whatever she wanted? What _did _she want? … Lightning did not know anymore. Shaking her head, she released the girl, who instantly slid down onto the ground like a lifeless body. The woman held onto her forehead with a hand, "What's wrong with me…?" She asked herself. Lightning gathered the remaining courage she had left and turned to look at the motionless girl. Her wrists were visibly bruised, her clothes were messed up, and the scars that ran from her left breast to her abdomen were screaming for attention. Then there was her face… that painful expression – she was crying. The tears weren't stopping, and that so-called _kiss _from earlier left deep bruises on her lips. This disgusting view of the violated Vanille… Lightning could not believe that she…

The girl looked up. How shocking, Lighting still looked _scared_. Vanille wasn't sure what stopped her from going any further, but if she did not try to run now, she probably never will get a chance… at least, that was what her inner voices were telling her. She stood up and pulled her tank top down. Her body was in so much pain that she couldn't maintain her balance, so she held onto the wall as she walked away. Vanille gave herself one last chance to look at the woman.

Lightning was looking blankly at her – her expression still as stunned as ever.

As though hundreds of needles pushed into her heart, Vanille let out a soft groan and held onto her aching chest with a hand. She could feel her heart beating rapidly against it… almost as if it were trying to tear out of her flesh so it could scream out the words she was unable to do so. Finally, she turned back to walk on.

Her reaction was instant. The soldier's hand shot up in light speed to hold onto the girl's hand. "Don't go," She said quietly.

"…"

Lightning walked closer, never letting go of her hand. "Don't go," She repeated.

Her body began to shake. It was anger, the girl was sure of it. "Why…"

She turned her around, with the hopes of seeing the usual, happy, beautiful green eyes she had always adored, but they were completely covered by her orangey bangs. "I don't want you to go."

"You're…" Vanille snapped her head up. Her eyes were already puffy from all the crying, but the tears just won't stop. It was almost as if here tear ducts were out of control. Her cheeks were near crimson, almost like she was caught with a heavy fever. The girl bit onto her lower lip to contain herself.

Lightning couldn't look at this. She pulled her in forcefully to embrace her, but again, Vanille fought wildly – she didn't want to be in this woman's arms.

"Let go… let go…!" Vanille cried breathlessly. She couldn't stand this.

Confusion and anger do not mix well, the woman decided. She didn't know what else to do – she could only hope that by holding her tighter, Vanille would calm down.

"You're all the same! You're just like them…!" Vanille tried to step back, she tried to push the woman away. She kept trying and trying, but she knew very well that it was pointless. Lightning would never let go.

"I don't want to hurt you. Please, stop moving…"

But she refused to obey, "Disgusting…" She pushed harder.

"Would you just stop…!"

Vanille ignored her once again, "I don't need sympathy from people like you…!"

The soldier was at her limit, "VANILLE!"

"DON'T CALL MY NAME!" Out of luck, she managed to free herself from the woman's strong arms. "… I'm begging you…!" She panted.

Lightning was also out of breath. She wanted to run and hold onto her again, but she could only wait for the girl's next move, for she did not want to use any unnecessary force again.

She took a few steps back, "I'm begging you… please don't call my name like that…" The wound in her chest was stinging – no, hurting like a god damn knife was carving onto her. Vanille could only relieve the pain by pressing her hand on it. Though, the rage in her heart made her clench her fist, and she ended up clawing at the flesh again. "… You call my name as if you care, but you… you're…" She shut her eyes so firmly she felt as though her eyeballs would bleed, "… You're acting like _them_!"

"Vanille,"

"Stop it! I said STOP IT!"

The woman walked forward.

She could hear the footsteps approaching even though she wasn't looking. The girl began to step back. "Don't come near me, don't come—" Her back hit the wall, she had nowhere to run.

Lightning wrapped her arms around the girl's trembling, delicate form. "I am not them," Her voice sounded as soft as the wind in the chimes, "… and I'm… sorry I'm like this," She swallowed, "I'm sorry it seems like I don't care, but I'm trying… I'm really trying to…"

This time, Vanille did not fight back. Perhaps it was because a part of her wanted to listen.

"I don't want to force you to tell me about your history, but… if I don't learn about it, I don't know how I can help you," She whispered into the redhead's ear, "Vanille, I…"

"Please stop…" Her voice muffled into the soldier's white Guardian Corps vest. "Listen to me,"

"…"

Vanille pulled away. She kept her head down. Still refusing to look the woman in the eye, she pushed her gently away. Lightning attempted to walk in again, but the girl reached out to stop her.

"What are you…"

"I don't deserve any of this," She interrupted the strawberry-blonde, and finally brought her head up. Her usual, bright, glimmering azure eyes were now clouded with grim confusion – even so, Vanille knew she had to finish what she started. "I'm a liar, a traitor, a coward, and… and a murderer."

Lightning furrowed her brows. "Vanille…"

"Doesn't it bother you? How the lost-and-found never called a single time, the way I dressed, the questions I ask you, my ignorance to the simplest things in this town…"

The soldier listened.

"Onee-san… don't you understand? I've been lying to you all along – I'm no typical _schoolgirl _from Eden, and neither am I a Cocoon citizen. I… I don't even bleed the same blood as you…"

She lost the will to step forward.

Vanille covered her ears – she did not want to listen to herself, but she had to go on. "I'm… my people were the ones who killed the innocent at the Fifth Ark – my people did it… they… I'm of their kind— and I…"

"Stop…" Lightning breathed quietly.

"Stop being so nice to me…!" Her voice rising, she was on the verge of crying again, "Your kindness, your hospitality, your love – everything does not belong to me! I'm just a selfish slut who abandoned my friends…! I did it all for my own safety – all because I'm incapable and pathetic—"

"… Vanille…"

"— So just kill me! Do whatever you want!" Vanille choked. "You said that you wouldn't mind killing people who aren't from Cocoon, am I right? Well, you were doing it moments before, why don't you continue? Why don't you just kill me…!" Her head was spinning – she felt as though she was dehydrated from all the crying. Her blurry vision prevented her from seeing the expression on Lightning, but that was probably for the best. "Kill me to avenge your parents…!"

"I said stop!" She slammed the girl against the cement wall once again, this time holding her by the shoulders.

It was all going to happen again, but she no longer cared. Vanille simply closed her eyes and waited for whatever the woman was going to do.

A moment of silence allowed her to regain her breath. Not only her, but Vanille's panting also echoed in the tight alleyway. For some reason though, the noise from the crowd that blended in with their breaths did not seem to reach their ears. Lightning grew tired and weak, her mind clouded with fear and uncertainty.

_Fear…_

… Because she could not find the will to kill this _Pulsian_, this _enemy._

_Uncertainty…_

… Because she did not know whether she hated her or not.

_Or did she?_

Lightning leaned in until her forehead rested on the younger girl's shoulder – she didn't care what she just said – all she knew was that she needed support because she was about to pass out.

And when the woman's skin came in contact with hers, Vanille relaxed. Their heaving chests moved against each other with rhythm as they breathed.

"… If it wasn't because of you people, they probably wouldn't be…" Lightning was grinding her voice, but ironically, she was getting softer and softer.

"…"

She inhaled into the girl's pigtails and a faint scent of the shampoo they shared reached her nose. "I…" Lightning slid her arms around her slim waist, her touch stiffening the girl. "I can kill you so easily…" She pulled back to look at her, "… I can drill a bullet through your head, pierce your heart with my blade, I can even mutilate all of your limbs, and then report that I was simply taking care of a fugitive."

Even her sadistic words and her cold voice didn't affect her – Vanille was starting to wonder if she had lost it.

But instead of pulling out her weapon behind her, the soldier unexpectedly moved a hand up to touch the girl's moist and flushed cheeks. She traced a trail of her tears upwards and stopped at Vanille's waterline. Rubbing her fingers together to feel dampness, Lightning suddenly snickered – _yes, snickered._ "How stupid."

The woman's comment prompted her to listen on.

"_I am going to join the military to avenge my parents._" She spat, immediately changing the expression in the girl's face. "… That was what I told myself seven years ago." Lightning glared at Vanille as her fingers gently glided down her white neck, feeling her smoothness, and then traced her collarbone, "I've had that in my mind for the longest time." Slowly, she slipped her hand under that pink tank top of hers and pressed onto her wounds. Lightning could feel the still-moist scars – Vanille was still bleeding.

She bit onto her lower lip as the pain shot up her spine. Unconsciously, her hands reached to grab onto the soldier's vest.

"… And yet, here I am, unable to – no… _incapable _of killing a mere Pulsian… because I'm _pathetic_, just like how I always was from the start." Lightning soften her touch as she continued to feel the scars under the fabric.

Vanille watched as the soldier's eyes became filled with sadness. It looked almost like she was going to cry, and she did not know what overcame her, but Vanille could not imagine how heartbroken she would be if she saw a crying Lightning. So, without thinking twice, she moved her arms up to circle around her neck, pulling her close. Vanille knew exactly why the cold and heartless soldier could no longer appear in front of her eyes. Lightning was just… too… "Onee-san…"

It was almost haunting, her voice, but Lightning returned the embrace. "Hn," She huffed, "And now I'm in the arms of an enemy…" She didn't know why, but her body was shaking. "What is this…? I can't even bring myself to hate you – I can't hate your kind for killing them either… there isn't the slightest feeling of it…"

Vanille hid in her shoulder. "I'm so sorry…"

"Don't. Don't apologize." She ordered.

The girl wanted Lightning to hit her, to vent on her – she was mentally prepared, but what was all of _this_? "You're not supposed to…" She was screaming at herself to let go, but she knew very well that there was no way she could do such a thing. "Éclair Farron, you're not supposed to fall in love with someone like me."

The sound of her name coming from the redhead was like music. "But I already did," She pulled back and gazed into those shimmering green eyes, "Vanille, I love you, and nothing in this universe can change this feeling."

* * *

**_Why does it look like it's going to end soon? I had no intention of doing that… in fact, I think this is going to have at least… 2 more story arcs? I don't know, I'm just saying that it's nowhere near the end._**

**_So, quite obviously, this is either a "I love it" or "I hate it" chapter… either way, tell me what you think! Sorry I didn't reply to the reviews from last ch though, I really am just too lazy. -_-_**

**_Reasons for a quicker-than-usual update: Easy and fun (yes, really) chapter to write, I actually finished this back in November, and…_**

**_BRB FINALS._**

**_(Won't update for a while)_**


	13. Yet, Uncertain

Chapter 13 - Yet, Uncertain

"_Va – ni – laaaa—!" A certain raven-haired huntress popped out of the middle of nowhere. "What kind of person would you like to date?" She leaned onto the railing with her elbows and asked playfully._

_The girl gasped. "E-eh…? W-what's this all of a sudden…?" Obviously blushing, she turned to avoid that devilish grin from the taller woman. _

_She widened that grin, arguably in a childish fashion. "The boys in the village are asking me to ask you."_

"_Asking you to… ask me…?"_

_The huntress rolled her eyes. "They're pursuing you, Vanille. Is it that hard to understand?"_

"_T-that much I know!" She shot back, containing an annoyed scowl. "It's just that… I…"_

"_You would rather have them ask you head-on and not indirectly like this?"_

_She nodded lightly. _

"_Knew it."_

_The girl pouted. "Then why are you still helping them!"_

"_Simple," The huntress snickered, "That's 'cause I want to know what kind of person you'd want to date as well."_

"_Fang!" Always the playfulness. Her friend's habit of taking advantage of her shy side had always annoyed her. _

"_Okay, okay! I'm sorry!" The taller woman laughed, blocking the nowhere-close-to-harmful punches from the girl. "So, what? You can't tell me?"_

_Vanille scoffed. She leaned onto the railing as well and took a minute to actually consider that question. Her mind wandered elsewhere, however, when her eyes met the floating bronze planet above. The world was miles away from their open sky, but to Vanille, it was as though she would be able to touch it if she reached a hand out. Maybe because it was foreign and different, but the girl had been fascinated by its beauty ever since she had set her eyes on it as a child. _

_Its vivid green colour in the centre always stole her attention away from anything to everything for god-knows how long. The girl would picture, imagine, and visualize the life up there, and then she would become confused. This war that seemed to have gone on for over decades now showed no signs of progress – both sides had neither the advantage nor disadvantage; to her, innocent people of both worlds were simply risking their lives for their respective corrupted government. Yes, the people of Cocoon and Gran Pulse were enemies, but they were human, living creatures, so no matter how much their views opposed, they would still have some sort of similarity, right? Vanille often wondered if the Cocoon citizens had the chance to live through peaceful days like the villagers here in Oerba. Would those who weren't fighting be lucky enough to talk about trivial matters like this? Would they even have the opportunity to think about love? If they did, then perhaps someone up there might… just might have the same standards as she did. _

"_Hey, have you fallen asleep or something?" Fang waved a hand in front of her face, bringing her back to reality. "I swear, if you look at that floating wretched world any longer, it's going to consume you one day." She joked._

_The girl shook her head and smiled to herself. "N-no… I was just wondering if those people lived normally, y'know, like us."_

"_Huh?"_

"_I mean, they're humans too, right? Surely they'd have friends, family, crushes, lovers, and whatnot…"_

_Fang frowned with discomfort and irritation. "Yeah, they're humans, but they're out enemies. They'd eat you inside-out if they ever get the chance, so don't even think of showing compassion, let alone thinking that they're like… us."_

"_But if they're humans, then they are like us…"_

_Right now, she was probably more than irritated – frustrated, even. The huntress held onto her shorter friend's shoulders and started, "Vanille, haven't you heard that the Cocoon soldiers sent down here would murder every sign of life-form they see? They really don't mess around, so—"_

"_And the soldiers of Gran Pulse sent up there have done pretty much the same."_

_The woman grunted and slapped her forehead. "God, you're so simple-minded…"_

"_Maybe you're just thinking too much?" Vanille clasped her hands behind her and teased innocently._

"_No," She sulked, "You're just still too naïve to understand. You haven't seen what they have done to the villages they've occupied. Rape. Slavery. Massacre. It's all and only that. We're lucky Oerba Village is part of the government's sector…"_

"_And that's why most of the villagers have gone off to fight. I think it's pretty unlucky, if you ask me."_

_Fang held her hands at her hips and stared at the girl with suspicion. "You know… if I haven't known you since you were a kid… I would think that you're a spy from up there?"_

"_W-what! No! I'm one-hundred percent Pulsian!"_

_She smirked, her expression playful. "Yeah," But it suddenly turned solemn and near-frightening to younger children, "Then stop giving me good words about them."_

_Vanille, however, was used to that serious face of her friend's. The raven-haired woman would use it whenever she went a tad bit far on teasing. "Okay, I'm sorry," The girl apologized insincerely, clearly emphasizing her childish behaviour. She turned to the railing again and leaned back onto it. "But… do you think the day would ever come for this war to end? It'd be nice to have the two worlds be friendly and everything. Then, the people of Cocoon can show us their world, and we can show them ours." The thoughts were piling up like heavy bricks. She was actually excited about this, and really wanted to share the joy. Vanille turned to Fang, hoping to get some sort of response that she could relate to, but all she got was an expected frown. "… Sorry." This time, the apology came out earnestly in a weak mumble._

"…"

"_Just saying, really…" Vanille droned quietly, afraid that she might get scolded for real._

_A Vanille that was anything but happy was never a trait Fang could get used to. She could easily cheer her up because of this. "Hey,"_

_Though hesitant at first, the girl finally turned to her, head down._

_The raven-haired woman clenched a fist loosely and knocked her forehead light enough that only made Vanille squeak girlishly. _

"_W-what was that…?"_

"_For changing the topic." She lied. Naturally, the girl responded by tilting her head, puzzled. Fang rolled her eyes again. "My question, you idiot. I still need to tell the boys, right? They're actually serious about this."_

_Relieved, Vanille huffed. "Oh," She gave a small shrug of her shoulders and pursed her lips. "It's… pretty typical, I guess," Looking up at the planet again, the redhead continued to admire its unearthly beauty as she tried to picture an ideal in her head. How would a good-looking person look like up there, on Cocoon? "… Erm… kind, protective, and… probably tall, strong, tough on the outside, but really is like a puppy on the inside."_

"_Uh… tough on the outside, but like a puppy on the inside…?" Her friend repeated, obviously confused._

"_Like… y'know, loyal, loving, and cute…"_

_Fang raised a brow. "That's some strange fetish you got there…"_

"_It's not a fetish! A puppy would always run back to its owner, right? Well, I want my ideal to always run back to me no matter what happens." She laughed._

_The woman sulked. "Only well-trained ones would…"_

"_Yeah! That's what I'm saying, a well-trained puppy!"_

_Fang could never get accustomed to the younger girl's weird analogies. "You might as well date a boomerang—"_

"_Oh! One more thing!"_

"…"

_Vanille smiled, her cheeks flushed. Clearly, mentioning all of these traits was getting her embarrassed. "That person would stay by my side, hold my hand, and never let go when I'm going through the hardest times!"_

_The huntress blinked several times before sighing. "You and your high standards…" She chuckled. "I guess the boys in the village are out of luck, eh?"_

_She covered her mouth with a fist as she giggled back. "Yep! None of them are tall enough anyway!"_

* * *

Vanille kept her eyes on their linked hands as Lightning dragged her home. Just moments ago, she was expecting Lightning to kill her. She was expecting the worst to come, but what came out instead was…

"_Vanille, I love you, and nothing in this universe can change that feeling."_

It was still so confusing to her. The thought of calling out to the pink-haired soldier came to her many, many times. She wanted to tell her to let go, but the voice she needed never went past her throat. She wanted to shake her hand off and run away again, but the strength she needed never reached her arm. Eventually, the two ended up back in that cozy apartment which she felt so guilty of staying in.

Lightning guided Vanille to the sofa and gently seated her. A hint of hesitance prevented her to look the girl in the eye, so she allowed their foreheads to touch whilst her eyes stared down. She took off her blue gloves to stroke the redhead's cheek and to feel its smoothness with the back of her hand. "Stay here, I'll be right back." She finally whispered.

The moment Lightning released her hand and disappeared into the hallway, her urge of running for the door overcame her. It was simple, really; the door was right there. Nothing was stopping her, and she was sure as hell that if she did it now, she could outrun the woman this time.

But Lightning trusted her. She told her to stay here because she was going to come back. Lightning trusted her… she couldn't abuse the faith that she had put on her. The faith that she had put on an alien, a liar, a traitor, a coward, and… and a murderer…

_Why?_

"Onee-san…" Vanille clenched onto the white sofa's leather material, its scrunching sound filled the cool air.

Useless. Incapable. Pathetic.

Those words were all and everything that she was, nothing more, and nothing less. If that were the truth, then it was the woman's own fault for believing such a pitiful person. She was an enemy, and she shouldn't be trusted in the first place. Lightning was an idiot. That woman… that foolish woman whom she lied to and fell in love with… still believed in her.

But she was ready to run. Her legs were ready to move, she was so, so, _so_ ready, yet her body just… wouldn't react…

She reached to clutch onto her aching chest. The burn in her heart seemed as though it wanted to tear out of her flesh. It wasn't an internal injury or anything. Rather, it was a mental one. But, _by the gods_, she felt as if she were bleeding her guts out. The guilt and the sins she had carried thus far could never be erased. Even if the soldier told her that she still loved her, Vanille could never get over it. She could never get over the fact that her people had murdered her parents. That because of her people, Lightning was stripped of all happiness and, perhaps, even her life itself. The pain increased by ten – no, hundredfold as she thought more about it. Lightning was so stupid… she was so naïve to still love her… Lightning…

_Lightning was so…_

A hand touched her gently on the shoulder.

Vanille lifted her head. She caught the woman's soft gaze and reacted by tensing up. Her hand clenching onto her burning chest tightened with fear. No matter how much she wanted to run away, there was always an undeniable desire to stay…

_Lightning was… too kind._

When she caught sight of the girl's eyes, shaken with nothing but fear, the soldier dropped all the resolve that was left of her. She sat down beside Vanille and reached for her cheek, cupping her tender warmth as their gaze continued to interlock. Her thumb grazed – barely touched Vanille's cherry-blossom-pale lips. When she brushed onto her soft skin, the girl parted them ever-so-slightly, as if she wanted to say something. Lightning could only wait, but when she felt her heart skipping beats, she knew she couldn't control herself. Her body disobediently moved in.

Whatever this woman tried to do to her in the alley earlier, Vanille no longer cared. She could disregard everything. What was important was that Lightning, this foolish woman, was here. Vanille loved her, and she needed on reassurance that Lightning shared the same, abrupt feelings.

The redhead's eyes dropped completely, and she did the same when Vanille's breath tickled her skin. Their lips met, and immediately, a strange chill of a sensation spiralled up her spine, making her brain hazy, and the feeling shot to every limb, every corner of her body. How odd, why the sudden eccentricity? This wasn't their first time kissing, they've done it loads before. So… what was going on?

What probably could only be defined as the gentlest and most innocent of all kisses she had had, Vanille pulled away sluggishly as she knew that neither of them had the drive to ruin such a tender moment. Her gaze shifted nervously elsewhere with desperate attempt to hide from Lightning's alluring one.

The soldier sighed. After the events from earlier, she really did not want to force the girl into doing anymore of… that. She reached for the medical kit she took out earlier, and took out a pack of antiseptic wipes. She held onto the hem of Vanille's pink tank top and pulled up, enough so that a tiny bit of that reddened claw mark was visible. The sight of it stung her heart. She could almost feel the pain the girl was going through right now. "Vanille…" She leaned in beside her ear, "Why did you do this?"

Straight to the point, how very like Lightning Farron. In her head, the girl debated whether there was a point in hiding the truth or not, but came quickly to the conclusion that there really wasn't. Vanille placed her hand on the woman's and pulled it close to her abdomen, letting her palm rest flat on her aching wounds. "Onee-san," She exhaled when the pressure on those scars sent electric currents all over her body. "Can I tell you something first?"

Lightning remained still.

She took the silence as a yes. "There's something you need to know about me."

Her brows furrowed. She was getting tired of this. "If this is about you being Cocoon's enemy, lying to me, or not belonging in this world, I told you already. I don't care."

"It's not that,"

Lightning really did not want to hear anymore. "No. I'm going to say this one more time, Vanille, I know what I want."

The girl shook her head. "Please, just listen—"

"I just want you to be the one to hold me when I need someone most."

Knives stabbed into her heart, intensifying the pain inside by a thousand times.

"_I just… want you to… to hold me…"_

It was the same. On the night when the woman was drunk she told her the exact same words. Lightning already fell in love with her back then, there was no doubt. But… "Would you…" Vanille shut her eyes. Her hold on the woman's hand shook with anxiety. Mentioning this would change everything about them, though it wasn't like the relationship was stable after what just happened. "… Would you still love someone who had been touched, violated, and… raped by other people?"

_"Your kindness, your hospitality, your love – everything does not belong to me!"_

Her eyes snapped open wide.

So that was why she said those words earlier. The girl was ashamed of herself, she was afraid that Lightning wouldn't accept her after telling the truth.

The different shades of azure in her orbs sharpened. The colour was now all but one, which was ice-blue.

"… Would you still want that someone to hold you? To be at your presence?"

_People. _Vanille said _people_, as in the plural form. Nothing else was going through her ears. She couldn't breathe, let alone think. "Who did it…?" Were the first words that came out of those dangerously gritted teeth.

She stroked the back of the soldier's neck lightly, seemingly done as an attempt to calm her down. "Onee-san, please answer me."

"It wasn't the thugs." The woman ignored her. She knew the girl was assaulted, but she was very, very sure that those two never got far. "Tell me who did it…" She hissed. Her voice was unintentionally grinded. Lightning was beyond enraged, but she was keeping it in for the girl's sake.

Vanille shook her head. When she did, she could hear the woman's breath shake, desperate, in need of air.

"Tell me, now." She was completely unaware that her hand underneath the girl's tank top was clenched up. She, too, was clawing at that unsightly wound with anger, reopening those scars. "Who are these _people_?"

She bit hard inside her mouth to contain the sudden shot of pain. "It hurts… onee-san, stop…!"

"Tell me who they are!" The soldier demanded, pushing the girl flat onto the sofa with her on top. She sealed her eyes shut. If she opened them now, she would start tearing. No, not because of anger, but because she was ashamed, _afraid _of herself. She could have done the same thing as those people to this innocent girl earlier. She hurt her, didn't listen, and nearly raped her. "Vanille…" Lightning choked. Her arms lost their strength, and she could no longer support herself. The woman collapsed onto the body below and she moved to hide her face in the crook of Vanille's neck.

Lightning was… she was shaking… crying, soundlessly. Vanille understood now. These emotional impulses of hers that kicked in whenever she heard something she did not want to hear… back then in the alley, Lightning only acted violent because she was scared, confused, and lost. This was all, so, very ironic. The invincible soldier would put on a mask that showed strength and distantness; the cheery girl would put on one that showed happiness and ignorance. Both only hid behind their pretenses to hide from fear. Both were only running away from reality. The two were so alike, yet so different.

"Don't cry, onee-san, I…" Wrapping her arms around the soldier, she held onto her securely as she continued to stroke the back of her neck. "Please don't cry… not for me…"

Her body was trembling, but she returned Vanille's embrace. "I'm so sorry…" She was a monster. As a soldier of the Guardian Corps, her task was to protect and stand for the innocent, yet she defied the most vital, the most basic of all rules. She was a monster, just like those _people_. Why would they hurt Vanille? Why did Vanille have to suffer? Why did it have to be Vanille…? "Why…?" Lightning muttered.

_Why?_

"Why did it have to be you…?" She asked, her voice weak with distress.

Vanille was going to tell her, everything. "I let them do it."

Lightning drew back in an instant. Her face mere inches away from Vanille's, she was almost glaring down at the girl upon hearing that. "What are you talking about?"

Vanille reached up for the soldier's cheek. A single tear was shed and she immediately wiped that away. "I… I let them… do it…" Her voice trailed off in shame.

Her heart stopped. "What…?"

The girl looked away. "They told me that they'd spare ten of my friends each time I let them…"

The world was collapsing around her, Lightning could feel it. Everything was swirling, the colours, the objects, everything physical with form… and Vanille… "Each… time…?"

"So many have died, I didn't want… I-I just couldn't lose any more of them…" It was like her breath was clogged up in her throat. To her, gravity suddenly felt twice as heavy. Vanille could no longer talk in a steady tone. "They told me to hide, but I couldn't just leave them. I had to… had to help… and that was the only way…" Her heartbeat pounded violently against her chest, the feeling mixing unpleasantly with that of the pain her scars were shooting out to her. The girl went on explaining regardless. "Those men told me they would spare them. They told me… so I… I let them do whatever… they wanted with… me…"

"… _I'm just a selfish slut who abandoned my friends…!"_

"But I-I ran away, abandoning my closest friends because I… I couldn't take any more of it…"

"They're… someone in control… with power…" Lightning spoke to herself. Her brain was processing through the different possibilities of people responsible for this, while being completely unaware that she was scaring the girl below with that unnaturally straight face.

"… Onee-san, please stop, I don't want you to do so much for me,"

… PSICOM. It was the Special Forces, the Cocoon soldiers sent down to the lower world. It had to be them, there was no other explanation. Having worked with the military for so long, all Lightning had heard of about the PSICOM soldiers was that they'd risk their lives to help, to _benefit _the world of Cocoon. But to rape innocent Pulsians…? To rape… Vanille? These were war atrocities. What the hell happened to all the wondrous stories about their heroism? Were they all just lies? Lightning didn't know, and she didn't want to know. She joined the military in the first place, hoping to fight alongside them one day… yet here she was right now, feeling nothing but hatred for those filthy bastards. She felt betrayed, "I'm…" Disgusted.

Vanille looked back into Lightning's eyes. It was near impossible to tell what kind of emotions were going through her head, as the woman stayed completely still, expressionless.

"I'm going to fucking kill them." Lightning hissed all of a sudden. She pushed herself off the girl and stormed straight toward her gunblade, which was lying close to the door.

Vanille reacted quickly. She couldn't let the woman go berserk again – not for her. "Onee-san, no…!" She ran after Lightning, throwing her arms around her waist and held her tight. "Please, no…"

She wriggled to free herself from those delicate arms. "Don't tell me what to do."

The girl responded by tightening her grasp. "Stop it…!"

"I don't have much patience, Vanille." The soldier warned. She held onto her still-bruised wrists and pulled hard, "Let go of me, I don't want to hurt you."

"Listen to me…!"

"I said let go." Her strict voice alone could freeze an entire army.

But Vanille ignored it, as much as it hurt. "Please, just listen…!"

"I'm going to rip off every one of those bastards' heads…"

"Don't! Don't do this!" With force, she weighed the woman down until both were on their knees.

Growling by now, the woman wriggled harder. "Get out of my way!"

"Don't go… don't go…!" She pleaded.

"Are you telling me to let this slide? Are you telling me to forgive them for raping you?" Lightning struggled to drag herself up. Moving only made the girl hold on tighter.

"No, I am not!" Vanille stated, letting the tears fall freely down her cheeks. "But I didn't tell you all of that so you can kill them for me…!"

"THEN WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?" She lost it.

Certainly, her roar scared the girl, but Vanille still managed to hold on. "I just…!" She swallowed, "… I just want to know…!" Vanille choked. Her throat was on fire, and her sobs were getting louder, "Would you still want someone this dirty to stay with you…! To… to hold you…?"

Hearing that, the soldier loosened up. She wasn't about to give up, but Vanille sounded so miserable, it broke her heart. Lightning gave herself a minute to catch her breath and calm that alarmingly fast heart rate. "I…"

"I don't want to lie to you anymore, that's why I decided to tell you everything…" She cut the woman off.

At that moment, Lightning wondered if the saying '_ignorance is bliss'_ applied to her. Perhaps it actually did; as serving the PSICOM was the main reason for joining the military in the first place, she only lost sight of her goals once she found out that the Pulsians were not to blame for that so-called _accident _at the Fifth Arc seven years ago – PSICOM just pushed the responsibilities on their _enemies. _Had she not known that, everything would be so different. She would continue to strive for higher ranks, promotions, and whatnot… and she wouldn't be as lost as she was right now. Similarly, if Vanille had not told her any of this, she wouldn't have this hatred and bloodlust for those…

"Those… those sick bastards hurt you… they raped you. Do you expect me to just sit and feel depressed about it…?"

Vanille could hear the sorrow in the strong woman's voice. She disliked it. She wanted the usual Lightning to come back. "… Yes."

"Vanille—"

"Those men were right. That _voice _was right. I'm just a slut."

Dead air escaped her lungs. Lightning froze. Slowly, she turned her head around, glancing at the redhead buried on her back. Vanille was crying again. And it was because of her… yet, again. "You're not…"

"So there's no reason for you to do so much for me." She cut her off. The woman was no longer resisting. Vanille felt that it was safe to let go. She turned the pink-haired soldier around and looked straight up at her. "But I just want to know," Vanille gripped onto Lightning's hands. "Are you still willing to let someone as tainted as I stay with you?"

"Tainted… huh?" Her azure eyes wandered to their joined hands, motionless. Silence filled the flat as the girl waited, but there was no reason to take so long in answering, for she was certain that the answer in her head was the most definite one. Uncomfortable with her kneeling position, the soldier helped the girl along with herself up. Hands still held, Lightning gently pulled Vanille in for an embrace.

"Onee… san…?"

"You are not _tainted_. You are no coward either." Yes, she realized that she was only good with words when it came to flirting. So everything she was about to say might not even make sense. Still, "You are stronger than you think; if I were in your position, I don't think I'd be able to endure through any of that…"

"… You don't understand. I have the power to save them, I still do. H-he told me… he told me this morning, that if I went back to him, I can still save my friends… and that if I stayed, you would loathe me—"

"Does it look like I'm loathing you right now?" She questioned.

Vanille turned her head away. She wasn't convinced.

Lightning heaved a sigh. There was no way that the PSICOM soldiers would have freed her friends. They were given strict orders to _kill Pulsians, _and knowing that they'd rape an innocent girl, knowing that they'd rape _her_, Lightning was sure that they were simply using Vanille as their entertainer, their… plaything. They made her cooperate by lying about sparing her friends. Most likely, this girl hadn't even seen them being freed, nor had she seen any of them ever since being captive.

"That voice, Vanille, is guilt. And guilt never existed within you. It never should have. That's why the voice is not real."

She wanted to believe it, but it was just so hard. "How do you know…?" She mumbled.

"Because you already did your best." The soldier said reassuringly. "You did everything you could. I am positive that none of your friends would want you to risk your life like that for them, so don't let ghosts of your past haunt you anymore."

Vanille shook her head, still denying. "Onee-san, I've been hiding from that voice for the longest time… i-it only comes back to haunt me after a while…"

"I'm not going to let it." Lightning kissed her on the forehead. "You have me now,"

The girl gasped lightly. The remaining tears lingering in her eyes rolled down her flushed cheeks.

Her initial reaction was to help wipe the tears away. "I will help you," Lightning said softly.

"Why?"

Silence.

"Onee-san, why help me?"

"…"

"Why _me_?"

_Why did you fall in love with me?_

"Because," Lightning scoffed and shrugged her shoulders, "… because nobody else knows."

Vanille blinked. "What…?"

A small smile spread across her face as she drew back completely to look at the younger girl. "Really, nobody does."

"Knows… what?"

"Not them. Not _any _of them."

She didn't understand. What was Lightning talking about?

"Only you do." The woman moved her orange bangs away from her eyes, but they only bounced back disobediently to cover them again, much to her annoyance. "Only you know me, only you are willing to help _me_."

Confused.

"… Nobody has the will to even try to help the notorious Lightning Farron."

Vanille reached for Lightning's hand, stopping her from moving her bangs. She grasped it firmly, securely, without breaking eye contact.

"Because I scare them away, because all they really want is fame, even if it only lasts for a few days. Shouting 'I slept with Lightning Farron' is all that matters. Nobody cares what I think."

"Why don't you just tell them?"

The girl's eyes appeared worried, Lightning observed through her thick lashes. She sighed softly before continuing. "Because I'm scared, Vanille."

The soldier's soft voice defined fear, that much she could hear. "Of what?"

"Of being weak, of showing signs of vulnerability."

She knew. She only asked to make sure.

Her free hand slid down to the small of Vanille's back, lightly resting her palm there.

Subconsciously, the girl moved forward, "You are not invincible," She whispered, her eyes droopy as their distanced closed.

"Yeah," Their foreheads touched. Lightning watched as Vanille closed her eyes, and then she followed, "… and only you know that." She felt the girl's hand on hers twitch for a second.

"…"

"We're the same, Vanille. Nobody understands us but each other, and that is why I want to help you."

She moved in closer, until her lips hovered over the strawberry-blonde's pink lips.

The woman brushed feather-light against them, almost as if she were teasing. Once they parted, Lightning finished. "And likewise, I want you to help me, because I need you."

"_What kind of person would you like to date?"_

A feeling of warmth gradually spread throughout her entire body. Vanille leaned in and rested snugly on Lightning's shoulder, hiding her small smile.

"… _Erm… kind, protective, and… probably tall, strong, tough on the outside, but really is like a puppy on the inside."_

"So don't run away from me anymore," She pulled back a hand to point her pinky finger at her. "Can you promise me that?"

Vanille stared at her digit for a moment. Who'd expect Lightning to do something like this? She curled her own pinky finger with the woman's. "I promise you." Her smile widened; she had never felt this sure and safe in her life. Well, maybe she had before, but that was only when the strawberry-blonde was around. "I'll look after you,"

Lightning smirked. "Good."

Whether it was because she was overjoyed or relieved, Vanille let out a quiet giggle, catching the woman's attention. Feeling the slight movement of curiosity from her, the girl started, "Ne, onee-san,"

"Hmm?" Lightning hummed.

"_Oh! One more thing!"_

Without warning, she tiptoed and kissed the taller woman on the side of her lips.

"…?"

Vanille's emerald eyes glistened under a thin layer of tears. "I think I have a crush on you." She said with a smile.

The soldier blinked several times before rolling her eyes. "Oh?"

"_That person would stay by my side, hold my hand, and never let go when I'm going through the hardest times!"_

"I had _no _idea." She finished sarcastically.

* * *

"So uh, Vanille,"

She placed her glass of water down onto the table and then turned to Snow. "Hmm? What is it?"

"Are you and nee-san doing… well? Like have you guys, like…"

The girl blinked.

"Snow!" Serah elbowed him lightly at the chest, and then she moved up to his ear to whisper, which Vanille could hear, "You don't ask people that so openly!"

"What? Everyone's wondering! It's your sister we're talking about, Serah!" He replied, with no attempt to lower down the volume in his voice.

"Um, sorry, what exactly are you wondering about…?"

Serah spun around at the redhead and smiled awkwardly, waving her hands. "Oh, no, no, it's nothing, Vanille-san, don't worry—"

Lebreau slammed her shot glass down onto the table, catching everyone's attention. "Vanille, they – no, _we _all want to know how far you and Light have gotten."

Every eye on the table – Gadot, Snow, Maqui, Yuj, Lebreau, and even Serah's were glued onto her face as if some kind of inappropriate tattoo was on it. The air surrounding her was getting heavier, and she had no idea why everyone was getting so worked up for such an easy question. "Onee-san and I are… together…?" It sounded more like a question, as she was unsure whether they'd accept it as an answer.

"Ugh," Gadot ran his fingers over his the fiery colour of his hair as he groaned. "That much we know."

"Um, guys, I don't think it's polite to ask Vanille-san this…" Maqui, the innocent one, cut in.

Yuj rolled his eyes. He grabbed Vanille's empty cup and poured her a drink, mixing various liquids from suspicious-looking bottles. "Don't worry about them, Vanille, they're just being… _them_."

Lebreau smirked. "How kind of you, Yuj." She received a wink from the boy, and then she went on, "Is that alcohol you're pouring for our little Vanille, there?"

"A little wouldn't hurt," He shrugged his shoulders and pushed the half-filled cup towards the redhead, "Right?"

Reluctant at first, she couldn't say no to that kind smile of Yuj's. "This isn't the heavy stuff, is it? I'm a real lightweight…"

"Don't worry, it's just… a cooler. It tastes heavy, but it really isn't."

Lebreau chortled. Cunning Yuj, why didn't she think of this? She knew exactly what the boy poured, and saying that it was a cooler was one hell of a lie.

Serah facepalmed and shook her head. It wasn't because she was disappointed in her friends' sly acts, but rather, it was because she was disappointed in herself. For she _desperately _wanted to know as well; so no matter how wrong and rude this might be, the usual kindness, or morals, even, didn't come out. Serah Farron was just going to sit and watch along with the rest of her friends. "We are so dead when onee-chan finds out…" She mumbled.

"It's okay! I'm not a minor or anything,"

Snow dropped his jaws. "What! You look freaking sixteen!"

The girl chuckled. "I'm actually nineteen…"

"Pft, who cares about rules tonight?" Gadot grabbed his glass, "It's just us, and we have the entire bar to ourselves!"

"Are you drunk already?" Maqui took his own cup and poured himself a light drink.

"Toast!" The tanned bartender thrust his arm forward, the quick movement caused a bit of the liquid in his glass spill onto the table.

"… Okay, yeah, I think he is."

"Meh," Yuj held up his glass. "What are we toasting to, Gadot?"

"That Snow and Serah are getting married!"

A brief moment of silence was heard, and then Vanille was the first to burst into laughter. The rest followed along when Serah's face turned deep crimson and Snow grinned uselessly beside her.

"Oh man, I think you just made the joke of the century…!" Lebreau breathed.

"If… if Light-san is ever going to let her sister marry Snow… then… man, I would win the lottery every single time…!"

"Speaking of Light," Lebreau wiped the tears from her eyes, "When is she coming?"

Vanille took a tiny sip of her drink, "Erm… she told me she'd be on her way after work – is this really not heavy…?" She questioned after getting an intense burning feeling in her throat as she swallowed.

"… Anyway, let's toast!" Snow, for once, was smart enough to change the subject. He picked up his own cup and raised it into the air, tempting everyone to follow along.

"One gulp down, don't chicken out, kids!"

"And that's coming from the drunk," The barmaid mocked.

Their glasses bumped into one another lightly, making a glassy _cling _sound. As they pulled back to drink, everybody (minus Gadot) had their eyes secretly on Vanille, as none of them had forgotten about their objective. They had to admit though, when the girl chucked that drink down her throat, she really looked like a person who drank regularly. Her barely-visible Adam's apple moved up and down as she gulped hungrily, or rather, forcefully.

With the last drop of that suspicious liquid in her glass drained, the girl nearly slammed it down onto the table.

Maqui leaned over to the young bartender. "Yo, Yuj, how many shots exactly was that amount?" He asked quietly.

"About four. Each with forty percent. That isn't too cruel, is it?"

The blonde boy sulked. "It isn't cruel if she takes it in slowly… but _that_…"

Vanille hiccupped. She leaned an elbow onto the table to support her chin. "Whew, wow…"

"You okay?"

"I dunno…"

The bright emerald eyes she had appeared hazy right now, and Yuj used this uncertain moment of hers as an opportunity; he took her glass and poured her a shot, only this time, it was straight-up vodka. "Here, have another one."

"Mmm… thanks…" The girl grabbed it without hesitation and like before, she chucked the drink down her throat as if it were water.

Maqui adjusted his goggles on his forehead and huffed with amazement. "Yep. We're officially dead once Light-san sees this."

"Calm down, kid," Gadot smacked him on the back, the strength he used literally threw the boy forward. "Little miss, if Light asks, say you were begging us to give you some of our drinks, alright?"

"I thought you were drunk."

"I'm back momentarily—"

"Nooooo problem!" Vanille raised her arm enthusiastically, almost as if she were in a huge group of people, trying to catch someone's attention.

"Hn," _Ohh, it's kicking in, it's kicking in! _The barmaid smirked deviously. "So, Vanille…"

"Hmm?"

The girl's voice was evidently happier, even if it was just a hum. "You really weren't lying when you told us that you're a lightweight."

She hiccupped again and giggled. "I don't like – _hiccup _– lying…"

Even Serah was having a tough time containing her laughter. The most she could do was cover her mouth, but right now, and large wave of curiosity was washing over her. "Ne, Vanille-san," She called.

The redhead turned happily to the younger Farron. "Yes?"

Her cheeks were flushed pink by now, and it was then Serah realized how adorable the girl looked; no wonder her sister fell for her. "Has onee-chan ever been mean to you?"

Serah's question made everyone gather closer to the oblivious redhead.

Vanille tapped a finger against her lower lip. "No, no… onee – _hiccup _– san is always nice… she never… oh, wait…"

"What, what, what!" Snow was the one to call out, but the rest were thinking the same.

Her head was getting a bit too heavy for her hand to support. "Onee-san… she tried to – _hiccup _– just a few days ago in an – _hiccup _– but I didn't like it… so she… stopped…"

"Ohhh shit!" The tanned bartender breathed out.

"'Ohhh shit' _what_! That line was completely censored, I had no idea what she was talking about!"

Serah didn't want to tell them to shut up, but she really wanted to listen on. "Guys, guys! Let Vanille-san finish!"

The girl's head slid down her arm until she rested on it snugly.

"Hey, don't sleep yet!"

Maqui sighed. "Should I be worried? Am I the only one who feels that doing this is wrong? I mean… we are her friends, right…?"

"It's because we are her friends, you idiot," Yuj shot, "Knowing Vanille, she wouldn't mind this one bit. And it's not like we're intoxicating her for her money or life or anything, we just want to ask a couple of questions."

"Yeah, but still…"

"Okay, just shut up, it's my turn to ask." Lebreau ordered strictly. "Vanille, I'm going to get straight to the point. What do you like about Light? Is it the fact that she's so good in bed? You know how she's so famous for that stuff in Bodhum!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa… aren't you going a bit too fast?" Gadot said.

She grunted. "Ugh, we're all just wondering about these questions in the end, so why not skip directly to it?"

Gadot was about to talk back, but was interrupted by the redhead.

"… We haven't…"

The bell to the door rang as it opened. The group, excluding Vanille who was too drunk to hear the noise, spun around – Lightning had entered the bar, looking bored as ever.

"L-Light!" The barmaid greeted as cheerfully as possible. "You're quite late, aren't you?"

Gadot swallowed. "Y-yeah, Vanille was getting so worried, she started drinking even though we told her not to…"

"Drinking?" The soldier walked towards the girl, who appeared to have passed out, or at least close to it. "You let her drink?"

"We didn't know she was such a lightweight!" Snow intervened quickly. "She was like this after like… five shots…?"

Everyone nodded. Maqui and Serah were the only ones with expressions of guilt on their faces.

That was all she needed to understand the situation. Lightning scoffed and pointed at her little sister, "You, Serah Farron, are never drinking again."

"Wha—"

"Be glad I didn't tell you to stay away from that useless brute." The woman said sternly, eyeing the said _useless brute _furiously. "And you," She directed her finger at the blonde boy, "I don't care about you, but you're a freaking minor, so don't drink."

"Y-yes!" Maqui squeaked.

"And the rest of you—"

"Onee-san…" The redhead moaned.

Lightning instantly dropped the anger left in her and bent down, wrapping a hand over the petite girl's shoulders, "Vanille?"

The girl pushed herself up, her wobbly legs barely supported her drowsy form. She fell into the woman's arms and hooked her own around Lightning's neck. Out of nowhere, she started grinning.

"Uh… Vanille?"

She let out another girlish giggle. "I loooooove youuuuuu—"

Lightning widened her eyes. Hearing quiet chuckles from the table beside her, she shot her head at whoever made those noises, but was quickly interrupted by Vanille's peck to the cheek. "W-what…"

"Tell me you love me too…"

"Oh my god." She didn't even bother to listen to those now-bellowing laughs from the guys. Lightning swept the girl off her feet – they were in dire need of privacy.

"There's…" Lebreau choked, "… there's a bed, you know? In the room behind the counter. That _is_ a rest area for us, workers." She gestured at the _employees' only _door.

The soldier grunted. It wasn't like she had a choice. If she stayed here, Vanille would start spilling out more embarrassing nonsense, and she wasn't going to carry her all the way back to the other side of town to her home, as it was incredibly difficult to call a taxi at this time. With Vanille in her arms, she literally ran for the door.

Seeing the door close behind her sister and Vanille, Serah let out a sigh of relief. "I was… actually expecting something much worse…"

Snow hung his muscular arm over her shoulder, "Tell me about it,"

Yuj wiped the sweat off his forehead.

Gadot gulped down the last bit of alcohol down and started, "Fifty gils on Light is a moaner and little miss is a screamer!"

"Holy shit, quiet down!" Lebreau hissed. "And we're not betting anything, we're not staying either!" She was freaking out.

Serah nodded. "I agree. I wouldn't want to hear my own sister… y'know…"

A hint of redness spread across Maqui's face. He was clearly not mature enough to touch on this subject. "You think they're going to… in there… on that bed… tonight…?"

The barmaid tapped him on the head. "You'll have the honours of changing the sheets tomorrow," She smirked, "Now, let's go."

* * *

Lightning laid the girl gently on the bed. It wasn't anything comfortable, but what else could she do? This room wasn't exactly president's suite-level or anything, but at least it was clean enough for her to tolerate. She grabbed a folding chair leaning on a wall and set it out beside the bed, sitting herself down close enough so she could attend to the girl if needed.

Vanille was still moving restlessly, kicking at the end of the bed as her fingers dug into the mattress.

The soldier placed a palm on her forehead. "Hey, come back." She said softly.

"Nngh…" The girl continued to squirm.

She was going to be okay. Vanille wasn't _that _drunk, and she wasn't going to get a hangover the next day, so there wasn't much to worry about.

"Onee-san…" She called weakly.

Lightning smiled at that rare and troubled expression.

"… I love you…" Her tired eyes searched for the soldier under the dim lights.

She exhaled. "I know."

"They… they think I'm only with you because I want to sleep with you…"

The woman shook her head, but she still could not stop smiling. "Oh? I wouldn't mind that, actually." She joked.

"I love you…"

"Vanille, I know." Her fingertips trailed down the girl's smooth cheek.

"But if that's what you want—"

Her brows furrowed. "No," She scooted her fingers over the redhead's lips, silencing her. "I don't need it, remember?"

"… Do you love me?" Vanille suddenly asked, completely ignoring her question.

"You already know."

"Can you tell me just one more time?"

Lightning's smile never disappeared. She moved to sit on the bed and bent down to capture Vanille's lips. "Just one more time," The woman whispered. "The next time I tell you this, I want you to be sober, because you probably won't remember this in the morning." She kissed the girl again, fully, passionately, and then pulled back just enough so that their lips were still touching. "Vanille, you're freaking adorable, and I love you to bits."

The girl grinned and pulled Lightning's head down, resuming their fervent kiss.

* * *

**_Hi, I'm back… are you guys still with me? :S_**

**_Well, I hope the second half of this chapter was fluffy enough to make up for the melodrama in the beginning. Speaking of melodrama, I think I'm going to die if I don't somehow balance these crazy-sad thoughts for this story. _**

**_SO. I am actually thinking of making another LV fic, in the M section (haters gonna hate), no dark themes at all, very light-hearted, etc. Look forward to it! :)_**


	14. Hope I

Chapter 14 - Hope I

"Get out! S-stop… stop it!" Of all the people in the world, _Lightning _was stammering.

"But you're cute with this!"

"Vanille, I'm not joking. You better get out now, or I'm going to—"

"I just want to dress you up!" She grabbed another girly piece of clothing out of the closet.

"Like I said…" She would be fuming right now if this person were anybody but Vanille. Lightning sighed and watch powerlessly as the girl searched (raided) through her collection of clothes. Now she understood why Serah often volunteered to _clean her closet_… all along, her clever little sister was sneaking random presents in there. Lightning had to admit though, she did feel guilty for not finding out about this sooner. All the poor girl ever wanted was for her older sister to be happy. But, really, Serah was (too) professional at being so sneaky; had Lightning not known any better, she would think that the younger Farron was in charge of some smuggling business.

Vanille shoved a lacy top into the woman's arms. "Come on. Surely, even you would want to dress up nicely once in a while, right?"

"No, I don't." Lightning replied coldly.

The girl frowned. Her shoulders dropped and her energetic stance was replaced by a saddened one. "Please dress up?"

"… No." She looked away and crossed her arms.

"Onee-san…" Vanille whined.

Lightning peeked at the shorter girl at the corner of her eyes and saw Vanille making a saddened smug face – _crap, she was going to fall for it _– Her eyeballs shot elsewhere."I said no…"

Yet she was nowhere near giving up. Vanille took a step in, so that their faces were inches apart. Looking up at Lightning's superior form with huge, green, puppy eyes, she tried again, "Pretty please? For me?"

With that cute voice, the woman's head was drawn, like a magnet, back to face Vanille. And, _damn those dazzling eyes_, she could feel her heart melt at sight. What was worse, was that a faint fragrance of something sweet… something distinct, special, unique, and can only be described as _Vanille-like_ reached her nose. Yes, this _Vanille-like _sweetness tickled her senses, and she instantly felt weak at the knees – paralyzed, even. Her usual piercing azure eyes softened into mere cotton-candy blue when they nervously (disobediently) began to observe the girl from head to toe, and then, seeing that adorably innocent expression on her, she smiled the slightest, _tiniest _smile.

_Damn it. _

No, no, no. Lightning shook the smile away. She wasn't going to fall for the girl's beauty – _uh _– criminal tactics again. She really ought to stop herself from spoiling Vanille so much, as she was a sergeant of the Guardian Corps; she was a high ranking soldier, for crying out loud. She was merciless to convicts and civilians alike, and this redhead, this… adorable, lovely, sweet girl was no different.

… _Really…?_

Okay fine. Maybe there was just _one _thing that was different. It wasn't anything special, nor was it anything peculiar, _yeah_. It was just that Lightning was, well, kind of… _really_ in love with her. It was a small thing, surely; nothing to worry about.

To Vanille, who was watching closely, Lightning's facial expressions were changing in the strangest ways. One second, she looked completely emotionless and then suddenly, she looked as if she was driven by all the happiness in the world… but it all broke down again when a frown appeared. The girl was starting to wonder if the woman was going through a mental breakdown… over clothing. She wasn't surprised, however, as she did have this one friend back on Gran Pulse who, she remembered, hated wearing the girly, sexy, revealing clothes that she herself had always adored. Still, her friend's choice of style was always something equally revealing, but the way she wore her clothes was way more fashionable and elegant. This strawberry-blonde, her lover, like her friend, had a similar dressing code; revealing, but at the same time, reserved. It only described to Vanille how humble of a person the soldier was, but she really wished that Lightning would make use of that awesome body figure she had. It wouldn't hurt to wear something other than hoodies, t-shirts, or anything baggy when she wasn't in that uniform (which, by the way, she had to admit that it was probably one of the few pieces of clothing that helped show off her curvy form). On the upside however, Lightning did not mind showing off those toned arms and legs of hers.

Much to her dismay, the moment of silence they just shared softened her heart even more; she was going to give in completely.

_Only because she was Vanille. _

Lightning cleared her throat. "Just don't make it pink."

"Hm?" Vanille blinked.

She rolled her eyes. "I don't… want to wear anything… pink." Lightning mumbled.

Her mouth hung open slightly. She stared at the taller woman in awe.

This was supposed to be the part where she would laugh, but why did she look so dumbstruck? "My hair…" She continued to mumble, "… blends in with pink clothes…"

Vanille finally choked.

"… and I don't look good." Her eyes shifted to the corner of the room.

Her conclusion turned Vanille's confused look into one of joy. She chuckled lightly and released the piece of clothing she was holding onto, letting it fall to their toes. Vanille circled her arms around Lightning's neck. "Onee-san, you'd look good in anything." Her words caught the woman's wandering eyes. She grinned in return and tiptoed to peck Lightning on the tip of her nose. "Because you're the prettiest person I've met in my life!"

That bouncy, happy voice deepened the pinkness on her cheeks into a shade of red. "Tch." Lightning pouted – _yes, pouted – _and still refused to look back at the girl. "Flattering me won't do you any good."

"Oh?" Curious, she tilted her head. "But I'm not flattering, I'm telling the truth…"

"Whatever, just… just hurry up and pick something. I want to eat."

"So you're letting me?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I guess so."

"Yay!" The girl cheered. She leapt happily to the closet, over the piles of clothing she took out, and grabbed something that wasn't pink. "Truth is, I just want you to wear something tight. Like, something that would stick to your waist because, really, all the baggy and loose stuff you wear don't show off your body enough."

Lightning lifted a brow. "What are you talking about?" She crossed her arms, "Why would I want to show off my body?"

Vanille huffed and turned around, resting her hand on her hips as if she were ready to scold a child. "Make use of your model-like body, onee-san!"

"Model-like body?" The woman repeated, looking down at herself, and then back at the girl. "This?" She gestured at her upper body.

The redhead nodded. She tried her best to hide any hint of jealousy.

Lightning exhaled. "Uh… Vanille, just because I'm slightly tall…"

"No! It's not just your height, silly."

She grimaced. "I really don't get what you're—"

"Oh, it doesn't matter anymore." Vanille sighed. She could not understand why this woman was so slow when it came to the most typical of things. "You'll see what I'm getting at once I dress you up."

Lightning shrugged her shoulders. "Fine."

"Good," She crouched to pick up the piece of clothing she dropped earlier, "Do you like this? I think it would fit you perfectly—" The girl cut herself off. Lightning… Lightning was…! "O-o-onee-s-san, what… what are you…!" Lightning was getting rid of her clothes – she was stripping… and now she was in nothing but a matching set of white bra and panties—

"… What 'what am I'?" She threw her pyjamas onto the bed behind her casually, "I can't try anything on if I don't take this off first."

_No, it isn't that, onee-san! _Vanille wanted to say, _you're so… so… intimidating right now, I can't look at you directly!_ Her voice was clogged and she felt like she was brain-dead. Her eyes hovered from her full breasts to her abdominal muscles, down to her hipbones. Seriously, this woman's body was everything she wanted – _dreamed of_; it was strong, toned, yet the muscles were subtle and faint. To compare, Lightning was probably less muscular and far skinnier (in a healthy way) than any of her huntress friends back on Gran Pulse. Then again, Lightning did mention that she was more of a stealth-trained soldier rather than an assault one, and anyone would say that a quick fighter shouldn't be _overly_-bulky.

_That's why she's so perfect. _Vanille swallowed.

She continued to observe that body she idolized so much, completely unaware of the fact that she was actually staring at the woman like a creeper and was blushing madly at the same time.

Lightning, on the other hand, wasn't unfamiliar with that look on Vanille's face. All the people she had slept with pretty much behaved the same way when she stripped; this wasn't anything new. She let out a quiet huff, immediately throwing the girl's attention back onto herself. "Hm," The woman smirked when those green eyes sparkled with embarrassment, "I didn't know that you were such a pervert."

"I… p-pervert…!" At first, she was going to defend herself. She even had her mouth open, ready to argue back, but instead, her body got the better of her and she spun around in a flash to cover her eyes; her entire body shaking as if she were having a nervous breakdown. "P-p-p-put s-something on, onee-san!" Her stammering only increased her heart rate.

Amused, Lightning folded her arms. "Vanille, you're not a boy, why are you turning away?"

"B-because!" She choked, still unwilling to turn around, "… because!"

"You're quite shy for a pervert, aren't you?"

"I-I-I-I am not a pervert!" She blurted, futilely trying her best not to stutter.

"No?" A sly smile spread across her face. Lightning wrapped her arms around the bewildered girl's tiny waist, pulling her close from behind. She bent lower so that her lips were pressed against Vanille's burning, reddened ear. "Then, miss _I-am-not-a-pervert_, can you help me put something on? It's getting cold…"

Her soft, gentle, _sexy _whisper sent the most intense electric shock up her spine. Goosebumps appeared all over her skin, popping out for attention. What was more was that her tongue was locked up; she couldn't get the words out of her mouth, even if she had any.

"Vanille…"

Oh god, Lightning was purring now, and that perfume with the usual strawberry mixed with jasmine scent reached her nose, numbing her. The girl closed her eyes, indulging into the woman's touch. Her soft breasts that were pressing against her back… everything combined with those skilful hands that were deviously slipping under her shirt made it so hard to breathe. The woman bent lower to kiss Vanille's bare shoulder, breathing cool air onto her skin intentionally to tickle her. Shivering, she realized that her lungs have abandoned their duty to breathe for her – they were completely giving in to the soldier's gentleness. Lightning was so close to her… Lightning was so _good—_

"… is this a belly I'm feeling?"

Her closed eyes snapped open. "H-huh?"

Lightning rested her palm flat on the girl's stomach, rubbing her skin gently in a circular motion. The smoothness she felt was distraught with the scabs of the claw marks the girl gave herself, much to the soldier's dismay. But nothing _ever _would be able to hurt her again. "I can guarantee you that this wasn't here before…"

"Wha…!" _Was Lightning calling her fat…? _"What…!" She brushed the woman's arms off with force and spun around, glaring at her with a pout. "Y-you're calling me fat, aren't you!"

She grinned. "No… I'm just saying that you might've gained a little…"

"Onee-san!" Vanille cried. Her childish voice made Lightning snicker. "You ruined the mood— I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!" She yelled repeatedly, hammering the woman at her shoulders with her fists. How could she ruin such a perfect moment?

Lightning could only laugh, but she figured that it was best to apologize; it was a taboo, after all, to make fun of a girl's weight. "Hey, I'm only joking. Calm down."

"No!" That angered expression never subsided, "Onee-san, I hate you!"

She smirked again. An angry Vanille was cute too, with that flushed face and everything. Lightning caught both the girl's fists before they could throw her anymore of those painless punches. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry." Lightning purposely bent lower so that they met at eye-level, "Forgive me?" She mused.

"Hmph," She looked away, "Why should I?"

"Because…" Lightning improvised, "… because you have to."

"Not good enough."

Never did she have to make people forgive her. People just did it, naturally. "Alright…" She was going to regret this, Lightning thought, as she was about to do something really out-of-character. "Will you forgive me if I…" She pecked the girl on the cheek, "… did this?"

No response. The girl still had that slight, _pretty _grimace.

She was nowhere close to giving up. Lightning kissed her other cheek. "How about now?"

Again, nothing.

_Fine. _If the girl wanted to play it this way, the woman had no other choice. She pecked her cheek again, then her other one, then her forehead, her brow, her other brow, eye, nose, chin, neck, back to the cheek, the other cheek, forehead, brow, eye, nose, chin, neck, repeat. She could do this all day.

Vanille wasn't going to give in that easily, but she couldn't contain her giggles. She tried to push Lightning away, though the woman persisted; she came in closer, kissing her harder yet keeping that playful rhythm whilst smiling to their silliness. However stronger she was compared to Vanille, Lightning had to admit that the girl was still quite powerful herself. The redhead, without warning, pushed forward, her body slumped onto the woman. The sudden weight distracted the soldier, and taking that advantage, Vanille swiftly slipped out of Lightning's grip and swapped places – with her now holding onto the woman's hands.

Lightning attempted to draw back by stepping backwards, but was cut unsuccessful as she fell backwards onto her bed, with Vanille falling on top of her. She had the feeling that the girl was still mad, but that thought disappeared once she saw her grinning so lovingly at her.

Vanille let out an expected giggle, one that was cuter than last time, making the woman below shudder. Catching the soldier's azure eyes briefly, the girl quickly looked away out of embarrassment. "Onee-san, put something on…" The volume of her voice was just above a whisper.

"Only if you forgive me." She teased, lifting her head up to kiss Vanille lightly on her flushed lips.

She tried to frown, but the kiss forced her to smile. "You're… going to have to do better than that… to convince me."

Totally ignoring the fact that she was the one who was half-naked, _and _was being pinned down, Lightning eyed the girl with a cunning smile. Vanille reacted by eyeing her back with a forced-angered look; the two locked themselves together in a strange, competitive staring contest. "You do realize you're talking to Lightning Farron, right?"

"Oh," She raised her voice an octave higher, "And you're implying that this woman by the name of _Lightning Farron _is someone whom I have to be afraid of?" Vanille released the woman's wrists. Her hands followed the smoothness of Lightning's arm, slowly making their way to her broad shoulders.

She liked this. The soldier liked this game. It was nice to see Vanille being so daring for once. "Well," She played along, "You don't _have _to." Distracted by the spaghetti strap of Vanille's tank top that fell over her shoulder, Lightning fought the urge to pin the girl down. Damn it, she wanted to take over. Her eyes shifted back at the girl, "But you _should_." And then her attention was taken away again, this time by Vanille's modest, sexy cleavage.

Vanille paid no attention to her warning, for she was far too busy tracing her finger on that well-defined collarbone of Lightning's. Leaning in closer, she whispered, "I should…" her breath brushing gently over the woman's pale lips, "… But I'm not… not anymore." Vanille did not allow any form of hesitation fill her; she just wanted to enjoy this. Kissing Lightning was the most she could ever do, so she did it with vigour, with vitality, with love.

Lightning relaxed herself, granting complete control to the girl.

And it was this gentleness from the woman that made Vanille realized how much more she wanted to do with her. She invited herself into Lightning, tasting the bitter aroma that filled her beloved's mouth from the coffee she had earlier. Vanille herself hated coffee, but she did not mind the taste one bit if it came from the woman's mouth. "Onee-san…" The girl mewled. She needed this, Vanille convinced herself. She needed Lightning – every part of her. Her fingers buried themselves deep into the soldier's soft hair, combing through its smoothness in a pressing thirst.

_Please stop me. _

She grabbed one of Lightning's hands and guided it to her rear, urging her to touch her, to feel her.

"_Slut."_

… _No…_

"_Slut."_

… _I'm… I'm not…_

"_Did you think you could overcome me?"_

_Please… leave me alone…_

"_Slut."_

_Go away…_

"_Stop using her as your lifeboat." _

_But… I love her, I… I want her—_

"_Love? Want? Did you mean __**afraid**__?" _

_I love her._

"_But you're afraid of her." _

Yeah… yeah she was. Vanille was anything but fearless of Lightning. But she pushed it aside. She thought that by using this need to cover the voice up, everything would work out. She just wanted a happy ending.

_Onee-san, help me. _

A stab in the heart. Her words in her mind felt like sharp knives. Vanille started to speak aloud, against Lightning's soft lips. "I need you so much…" She didn't mind the pain, because she decided that she was going to do it. She was going to show this _guilt_ that she could get over it… that she could get over anything, now that she had Lightning.

_But I'm afraid of you._

She kissed roughly, literally forcing Lightning to oblige to her false needs.

_What am I doing…?_

Did she feel it? _Could _she feel it? This… this mask… yet again…

_Please stop me, onee-san. _

She very much enjoyed the way their tongues rolled against each other. She loved how the girl would gasp every time she pulled away to catch her breath. God, she even loved the way her small frame was grinding against her own, even if it was teasing the hell out of her. Letting Vanille control her hand, she pressed and squeezed wherever the girl guided her, while her other hand roamed freely up to the girl's back as the latter bit onto her lower lip, making her groan with excitement. Her fingers continued to run up and down Vanille's back wildly, brushing over a bump under the thin tank top that seemed to be the clip of the girl's bra. She could remove it so easily, she could strip Vanille of everything, she could rip and ruin her clothes… she could ruin _her_, and then she could see so much more. She could _do _so much more – but…

"Hey," Lightning suddenly whispered when the girl pulled away to breathe.

She paused, forcing the best smile she could put up onto her face, hoping that it would be enough to make up for what she was unable to do.

It was more than enough. Lightning pulled her down for an embrace. She kissed her on the cheek before whispering into her ear, "Let's just stay like this."

"… Onee… san…"

_I love her, but I'm afraid of her._

Lightning hugged her tighter, scared that she would slip away. Her sudden statement was indeed random, but she was just being herself – having the habit of getting straight to the point was probably her best and worst trait. "Is that okay?"

_I'm afraid of her, but I love her. _

Vanille would do whatever this woman asked her to do. She nodded and swallowed, her throat dried with nothingness. "Yeah," She whispered back, somewhat ashamed that her voice was shaking. It was so obvious; the soldier knew… she always knew. Vanille tried and tried, she wanted to make Lightning feel good, but the woman would always end up stopping her. She was being so considerate… so considerate, it was just plain unfair.

"Sorry." Lightning stroked Vanille's back to sooth her breathing.

She pulled away, exhaling with a smile. "For what?"

"For…" Lightning's eyes softened, "… for saying that you have a belly… I really was only joking."

Her grip on the soldier slackened. She wasn't apologizing for this. "Onee-san…" Vanille caressed the soldier's smooth cheek with the back of two fingers as she stared deeply into her bright, azure eyes. "I…"

"Forgive me?"

She nodded, diving to hide in the crook of her neck. "I forgive you."

Lightning smiled. Her fingers twirled themselves with those curly strands of her pigtail and she tugged lightly to experiment with her reactions. Vanille simply adjusted herself, resting in a more comfortable position on top of her. Well, they couldn't just lie here all day, the soldier decided. It was her day-off, and it'd be a waste to not spend some time with the girl, even if they do see each other so often. Right, a date was imminent. "I want something sweet to eat." She declared.

"E-eh?" Did she just hear what she just heard?

Lightning grunted and started again. "I said I want to eat something sweet."

Vanille pulled back, holding herself up with her hands on either side of the woman's head. "N-now…?"

"Yes, now. Let's go out."

She was at a loss for words for a second, and then she quickly came to when Lightning's 'request' echoed in her ears several times. She loosened up and shook her head, "Vanilla flavoured again?"

Lightning smirked. "What do you think I'd get otherwise?"

"Um…" She thought out loud, "Other flavours are good too… Like, blueberry, raspberry, cherry, and – oh, banana isn't bad, you know? I actually really like that flavour."

"I thought you liked strawberry."

She chuckled and got off the woman, reaching out a hand to help her up. "I still have other preferences, right? Seriously though, why don't you consider trying banana?"

Lightning shrugged her shoulders. "We'll see. Now, can you hurry up and get me something to wear? I'd like to stop being only in a pair of panties and bra now."

* * *

"Great," Lightning sulked as they lined up, "This is moving along _swimmingly_." She said as sarcastically as possible.

If only they came out earlier, there certainly wouldn't be a line. Stupid Vanille and her pickiness dragged on for the entire morning. In the end, she complied with 'something that was tight enough to show off her waist' – a black spaghetti-strapped tank top. Though her ego jumped in at the last minute before they left the apartment; she managed to slip on a looser, pale purple A-shirt over that black one, to which Vanille ultimately submitted to as the woman didn't actually look half-bad. As for her pants, she simply went with the usual khaki skirt accompanied with a pair of her modest black shorts underneath.

"Oh, don't complain, onee-san. If it makes you feel any better, there are probably so many people because the ice-cream here is good!" She hooked her arm around the soldier's. "So think of it this way: if we can endure through this line up, we'll be able to taste the best ice-cream in the world!" Vanille started to fan at the strawberry-blonde with her spare hand.

Lightning sighed. How could she be so positive under such an irritating temperature? She could swear that she would explode if they weren't in public right now. "If it turns out bad, you're sleeping on the floor tonight."

She giggled. "I'm okay with that. Onee-san would just carry me back onto the bed because she'd be too heartbroken to see poor Vanille shivering down there."

_Ugh_. Yeah. That was exactly what she would do. "I really have to stop spoiling you."

"That's not spoiling! That's loving!"

"Oh, okay," She rolled her eyes, "I ought to stop _loving _you, then."

"…"

The soldier smirked. "I'm kidding. Don't frown like that, you'll get wrinkles."

"Hate you." Vanille mumbled and feigned a look of anger.

Lightning grinned. She reached up to fix the strands of hair stuck on the girl's face. The temperature was actually more than irritating – it was near unbearable. To be honest, she couldn't wait to get some of that ice-cream to cool down, but right now, she was more concerned with Vanille, as she didn't want her to get a heatstroke on their date. Perhaps it was best to let her hide from the sun. "Hey,"

"Hmm?"

"Why don't you go find us a seat?" She cut herself off to walk forward, following the moving line. "I can line up by myself."

"W-why? You don't want me with you?"

"It's not that," Lightning laughed. "I mean you should help us secure a seat, preferably one in the shade. I don't want to have to stand up to eat my ice-cream and let it melt under the sun after I get it. With this many people lining up, I'm sure it'll be hard to find a seat, so it's quite an important job I'm giving you."

Vanille nodded slowly. "Okay then… but you are sure that you're fine without me?" She was asking in a motherly tone.

"Just go." Lightning grunted.

The girl giggled. She pecked the woman on the tip of her nose lightly before skipping off. Picking on her tough soldier was so much fun, sometimes she'd worry that she'd go overboard without knowing. But then again, Lightning herself would pick on her too, so… it was all fair, right? Vanille decided to worry about that later, as she was assigned a task – to find seats. She looked around; indeed, every single chair, picnic table, bench… just any form of _seat_ in sight was occupied. They could sit on the grass and enjoy the wide open view of the beautiful park of Bodhum, but Lightning asked clearly for shade, so that she wouldn't have to eat under the sun. Vanille turned to look at the woman and the line to the ice-cream truck. Evidently, it hadn't moved at all. Good. She still had time to search. Vanille was afraid that she might get scolded for not being able to find shade before the soldier was done. She continued to look; by now, she had given up on seats, and was only looking for some form, any form of shade—

"Vanille-san!" A boy's voice.

Déjà vu? Didn't something like this happen before? It was the same voice too… Vanille looked to the direction of the familiar voice, and saw a teenage-looking blonde boy waving happily at her. She squinted her eyes to get a better view – the sun was right above her, but its brightness still shot into her eyes painfully, and it was rather difficult to identify who that person was when he was under the shade of a tree… oh, wait, it was—

"Maqui!" She greeted and walked over. As she approached, she noticed a younger, smaller boy with pale silver hair who was sitting across the blonde, looking at her nervously.

"Didn't think I'd see you here!" Maqui stood up, "Trying to find a seat, eh? It's kind of impossible at this time," He laughed and gestured for the girl to sit down on the other side of the picnic table. "You can sit with us if you don't mind."

She smiled. "Really? A picnic table right under the shade – that's perfect, thanks! Onee-san just told me to seats with shade… and I was getting scared that I might not find one…"

"Light-san is here too? Where is she?"

"She's getting me ice-cream," Vanille replied, the smile remaining on her face as she sat down. She turned to the silent, silver-haired boy.

He instantly looked elsewhere.

_Cute._ Vanille was in her nature to talk to all those who seem to be left out, and this boy was no exception. So she started, "Hello, who might you be?"

The redness on the boy's cheeks deepened.

"He's my techy-buddy." The blonde across the table explained, "You know how I work with automobiles and stuff as a hobby, right? He's just the kid that works with the vehicles' internal systems." Maqui took a huge, hungry bite to his crepe after finishing.

"Oh, wow…" Vanille nodded in admiration. The boys looked far too young to even be able to pilot or drive, so for them to alter vehicles was amazing. "Just the two of you?"

"Nah, we're meeting up with the rest of our friends later at the warehouse. We're just stopping in the shade because it's too freaking hot. We thought we might die if we didn't get something cold in our mouths soon, and coincidentally, that dessert truck was here, so… yeah, might as well." He laughed.

"Yeah, it is very hot today…" She exhaled, letting out a hot breath of air in her lungs. She wished the breeze blowing by wouldn't be so warm. Vanille looked to her side at the quiet boy. He was holding onto an ice-cream cone, and it looked as if it was going to melt if he didn't eat it soon…

_W-why is she looking at me…? _The boy was shivering under the summer heat, as he eyed Maqui for help, though the latter simply stared at him, tilting his head in confusion.

Vanille decided to get rid of this strange quietness in the air, and she still had to introduce herself. She reached a hand out to Maqui's 'techy-buddy'. "Vanille,"

He spun at her and blinked. "E-eh…?"

"My name," she said gingerly and scooted closer to him, "What's yours?"

… To which the boy reacted by leaning away. "Uh… um… I-I…" It wasn't like he wanted to stutter, but this girl… this _really _pretty girl was _kind of _breaking his personal bubble— "H-Hope… I'm… Hope." Hesitantly, he took her hand.

"Nice to meet you!" She gripped and shook it gently.

"Yes…" He nodded once.

Vanille grinned. Always had she been fond of quiet people like him – they reminded her so much of a certain strawberry-blonde. Widening her smile, she rested her elbows on the table, closed her eyes, and let a summery breeze blow by. The girl couldn't recall the last time she was surrounded by such a green, flowery environment. All there was left in her homeland was ashes and corpses. It had been that way for as long as she could remember. But it, too, used to be filled with colours and life, laughter and people, just like… like this mirrored world of her village…

"Vanille-san?"

She opened her eyes, the bright air stunning her briefly yet again. "Hmm?" The girl thought it was Maqui who called to her, but it seemed as though the blonde boy was far too occupied with his delicious crepe. She turned to Hope, eyes slightly widened in surprise.

"Are… are you okay?" His small voice sounded again.

Her smile came along with a sigh by accident. She stared at the boy with the intention of replying, but was suddenly lost with the thought of being enveloped by a new world. Her friends who were so much like these people – lost, gone. Her world that was so much like this one – robbed, taken away. Was she dreaming? Was this peacefulness all just an illusion? Were all these young, innocent, happy people just shadows of that one _wish_ she made on that night? This mirrored world of her own… was it real?

"Uh…" Hope swallowed. This atmosphere was getting weirdly heavy; it wasn't every day he'd get stared at by an older girl like this. The intensity in her bright emerald eyes – what was it? He couldn't grasp the proper word, but he was certain that he had seen it before. From a woman… yes, most likely. Yet it was this _intensity_ that stopped him from looking away; his eyes just wouldn't move… "Vanille-san…?" He forced himself to call again.

She was snapped back to her senses. "Oh, I'm… I'm so sorry…" Vanille laughed, nervously fiddling with her fingers on her lap, "I… I just…" She sighed. _What could she say?_ Eyeing the boy's ice-cream cone shyly, she cleared her throat, "… was wondering what flavour it is…"

"Eh?" Hope blinked. He must've been thinking far too much, or was too distracted; the cone in his hand was barely touched, and under the shade, it still, amazingly, hadn't melted completely yet. But what was there to be distracted by? – _She wasn't looking at you, she was looking at your ice-cream, stupid! _– The boy shook away the thoughts. "You… you can try if you want," He said, his tiny voice made it seem like he was muttering, "It's banana flavoured…"

"Banana?" She repeated in a near squeal.

"Yeah," He turned the ice-cream to an untouched side, "D-do you want to try? I only took a small bite on this side—"

"Really? Y-you don't mind?"

Hope shrugged his shoulders coolly, trying to maintain a mature, gentleman-like impression for the redhead; though the deep blush on his cheeks made him look nothing more than a fourteen year-old boy.

Vanille beamed, her eyes sparkled with excitement. "Thank you, Hope!" Pulling a strand of hair behind her ear, she leaned in, and brushed the tip of her tongue with the ice-cream as little as possible.

The girl's actions happened in a flash, but to the boy, he had never gone through a longer two seconds in his young life. Sure, he admitted, the girl was pretty as hell, not to mention that her voice was sweeter than his ice-cream – _wait, what! _– but… damn it, when she parted those pink lips, he could feel his heart stop. When she took that light yellow cream into her mouth, when she swallowed it down, and when she smiled to herself at the taste, cold sweat squeezed out of every gland of his body. One droplet evidently streamed down his forehead; he could only hope that the girl wouldn't see because he could not freaking move to wipe it away right now.

"Yum!" She hummed happily, savouring the taste that lingered in her mouth. "Banana _is _good!"

His dried throat prevented him from swallowing properly. Hope nearly choked on his saliva.

"I hope onee-san is getting me banana…"

"Onee-san?" The boy tilted his head. _Her sister? _

"You know…" Maqui, upon stuffing the last bits of the crepe into his mouth, joined into the conversation, "… The woman you bumped into at the beach the other day. She, uh, was really tall, had pink hair… and, oh, and she was looking for Vanille-san!"

Images of the said woman popped up in his head. It was her sharp blue eyes that gave him the biggest impression. Perhaps it was because… not many people had such deep eyes? Well, minus the redhead right beside him, of course—

"Do you remember?"

He fell silent for a second, and then sighed, "… Yeah…" _She was the one who bumped into me though…_

Vanille chuckled. "Seems like onee-san scared you or something,"

Hope nodded. "Well… yeah, your sister _is _quite intimidating…"

"Sister?" The girl blinked. "W-we're not sis—"

"There you are." A feminine voice interrupted.

Everyone turned to the voice at end of the small picnic table. It was none other than Lightning, holding two cones in her hands. Maqui was the first to react. "Light-san!" He greeted and got up politely, offering her to sit down beside him, "Surprised that you can find us!"

She sat down. "I've been looking for the last ten minutes," Lightning handed Vanille her cone. "You should be more surprised that the ice-cream hasn't melted."

"Thank you!" Vanille said as she took her share. "Aw, onee-san actually listened to me this morning, and really got me banana," Her tongue flicked away the sharp tip of the cream. "That's very sweet of you."

"Only because everybody in line seemed to be going for the banana flavoured," She said coldly, her orbs boring into her white vanilla cone, "I got it because it seemed popular, not because you mentioned it."

"Oookay," Vanille rolled her eyes, "Whatever you say, _tsundere_-onee-san,"

"Tsu-tsundere…?" The pink-haired soldier huffed. "Vanille, you—" The air was thicker all of a second. A sharp, foreign pair of eyes was on her, Lightning could feel it. She lost the words she was about to pour on Vanille, and turned to the source of that heaviness. Oh, it was only a boy, and, wow, he was so quiet, the soldier didn't notice him until now. Lightning lifted a brow. Strange, where had she seen him before? He looked awfully familiar…

Hope immediately shot his head back down, pretending that he was never looking at the woman. Though, even he had to admit that his clumsy movements made the entire table shake; who wouldn't look at him now? Slowly and carefully, he lifted his head up, rolling his eyes almost to the back of his head just to get a view of the pink-haired lady in front of him. He only hoped that he was wrong…

"…" Lightning blinked. _Kids. _

The boy shot back down again. God, why was she still staring at him? No, why couldn't he look at her? He'd never done anything wrong! What was it with him and looking at pretty girls directly? Was it just nervousness? Or was it his overpowering hormones! Whatever it was, he knew he had to get over it. If not, how would he ever be able to confess to his crush? … That was… if he was ever going to get one, _b-but_ – that was not the point—

"Hope?"

—He had to act tough. He had to push this stupid, warm feeling aside. The boy looked up again, this time refusing to pull away. He clenched his fists when the woman blinked. _Hm, she's pretty too – ugh – what are you thinking!_

"Hope!" Vanille called, "Your ice-cream!"

He looked down. The cone he was holding onto was crushed into mere crumbs and they, along with the light-yellow cream, fell to his upper thigh, making a sticky mess all over his pants. "Oh my—"

"We need to clean this up!" The redhead didn't let him finish. She reached into her pocket for a handkerchief and started to wipe away the mess, not even bothering to think _where _she was touching.

"Uh – V-Vanille-san…!" The silver-haired boy's voice turned higher for some (obvious) reason. "I-I can… handle this m-myself…!" He tried to push the girl's hands away.

"No, I got this, don't worry." Luckily, she was hungry enough to finish her own cone within seconds. Brushing away the dry crumbs with one hand, she attempted to wipe away the sticky cream with her other, totally unaware of what kind of strange sensations she was awakening within the boy's body.

"V-Vanille-san…!" Hope didn't want to give in to this… good feeling – _for a lack of a better word_. On any other day, if they were alone, he would totally play innocent in a more subtle way, but there were people here for heaven's sake! He was already trying his best not to look at Maqui and this girl's sister. Hope had figured that they'd be pretty flabbergasted right now, because he definitely was. _Ugh, _he couldn't think about it; right now, he had to stop her – he had to stop this _beautiful _girl from… cleaning him up – _oh my god, she's touching so close – this is bliss… _Hope loosened up as his eyes began to trace the girl's beautiful features. If only he were a few years older, he was positive that he'd have the guts to ask her out. She was… she was so… so…! _So pretty! _

If the girl were somebody else – just somebody, anybody – just… not Vanille, Maqui would be lost in an uncontrolled laughter right now. Because at this moment, from his and Lightning's perspective (thanks to the height of the table), it looked like Vanille was giving Hope a hand jo – _gulp – _and, damn it, Hope had that asshole-pleasure-filled face._ Light-san is going to kill you, Hope! _A shiver went down his spine; the thought of Lightning exploding was enough to make him pass out. He wished he wasn't the one sitting beside the soldier. He wished he didn't agree to hang out today. He wished he was just dreaming, and that the girl cleaning Hope up was just Lebreau or someone – _reality check, the girl __**is **__Vanille!_ An inner voice suddenly cut in and told the blonde.

"Almost done, just a tiny bit more…"

Maqui's curiosity was telling him to look at the soldier's expression right now even though he could pretty much imagine what it looked like. He swallowed, and bit by bit, he turned to glance at Lightning. _Oh shit._

Sure enough, the woman's eyes were glaring at… _uh, _Maqui didn't feel like checking specifically, but she was definitely glaring at one of the two across the table. The cone she was holding onto looked like it was about to crack, and the cream was melting – most likely because of her _heated _hand. Her arms, neck, and posture in general became more and more tensed as seconds went by. Eventually, a muscle flexed under the woman's eye, and whether she did it purposely or not, the blonde boy was sure as hell glad that she wasn't looking at him.

_Crack._

The sound of Lightning's ice-cream cracking (exploding) in her hand was loud enough to bring back the will in him to look up. First, Hope looked at his friend, who was stiff as hell, but was gesturing at the woman beside him fearfully with his eyes. The boy did not understand at first, but when he turned to Vanille's 'sister', he was frozen into ice, right on the spot. Forget _staring_, the woman's eyes were _piercing _into his soul, extracting every ounce of warmth within. It felt like his blood was being drained, because it was getting so difficult to see and… although it was summer, those eyes alone turned the tropical temperature into one comparable to the arctic.

"Vanille," Lightning said as calmly as possible.

"Hold on, I'm almost… aaaand… there!" She spun around to the woman, "What is it, onee-sa—" When she caught those eyes, the same arctic coldness was passed onto her. She had seen something similar before – it was back then in the alley; although that was far more serious… those eyes even had the intent to kill. Right now, she just seemed pissed.

The woman stood up. "We're leaving." She didn't bother to wait for an answer and stormed off.

Vanille sighed. She stood up as well, "Sorry to have ruined your mood, guys. We'll talk again next time, okay?" The girl ran after Lightning.

The sounds of her footsteps faded away, and Maqui finally let out a breath of relief. He fell flat onto the table, "Whew, holy crap, that was the scariest moment of my life!" He cried into the table, his voice muffling against the wood.

It took Hope a bit longer to come back compared to the blonde, but when he did, he had to relearn how to breathe. Taking a few steady gasps, he started, "I… I must've gotten Vanille-san in trouble…"

"Oh yeah, you sure did. How could you be so stupid! Dropping your ice-cream like that!"

"I didn't know she would come to clean up my crotch!"

"Couldn't you have pushed her away, you dumbass?"

"I—" He didn't know what to say. Well, of course he did, "… I… didn't know how… she was being so nice…"

The blonde sighed again. "Listen, man, if you don't want to mess with Light-san, I suggest that you back away from Vanille-san…"

Hope grunted angrily. "Yeah, yeah, whatever." _What a possessive sister Vanille-san has…_

* * *

"Onee-san! Onee-san, wait for me…"

Lightning stopped her tracks. Vanille followed shortly when she was a few feet away. They were alone in a garden-like place; a classy fountain made out of marble was in the middle of the circular area, and they were surrounded by tall, cleanly cut shrubs.

The girl wanted to take the time to admire her surroundings, but she had more important things to worry about. Slowly, she took careful steps towards the soldier, afraid that any sudden movements would make her go berserk. "Onee-san? Is there something you want to tell me?" She asked softly.

Clenching her fist, Lightning spun around.

Vanille was relieved to see that the angered look had softened a little.

"Don't… do that…" The woman mumbled.

She stepped closer. "Don't do… what?"

Lightning was ashamed to admit that she, the high-ranking sergeant of the Guardian Crops couldn't say something so trivial properly. "I said don't…" Her teeth were gritted, she wasn't speaking normally.

"Hey… what is it?" The girl took one of her hands.

She sulked. "Don't touch… other people…"

"Hmm? But I was only helping him clean up…"

"Did you know where you were cleaning?"

"I – just his…" She dropped her jaws. "His…!" A familiar redness crept up her neck to her cheek. The image of her cleaning the boy's... _pants_ was just… a-and she didn't notice it – _what! _"EHHHH!" Beyond embarrassed, Vanille slapped her flaming cheeks with distress.

"Yeah, now you know."

"I…! Onee-san, I swear, I didn't… I didn't mean to do that, I…! I just wanted to help him, really, I—!"

Lightning jolted her head away. "It's not _that _I'm pissed off about…"

"…"

She pushed past her shyness. "I don't like it when people look at you like that…"

"Look…? W-who…" _Oh. _It all made sense now. "O-onee-san, are you jealous of that boy?"

Lightning widened her eyes. "J-jealous?" She glared down at the redhead, "W-why would I be jealous of a boy!"

Vanille giggled. "Why wouldn't you?"

"Wha…!" The soldier folded her arms and continued to sulk. The image of Vanille touching someone else other than herself made her blood boil, yet she managed to maintain her cool posture. "I don't know what you're talking about."

A light bulb lit at the top of Vanille's head. She tiptoed until their faces were dangerously close. Lightning naturally stepped back to avoid closeness; she was still angry, after all, but the girl pressed on. "Hm, I guess you're kind of like Hope,"

"Huh?"

"I mean, both of you are super shy, quiet, reserved… not to mention cute," Vanille's insides were jumping with joy when the soldier's eyes were widening once again in disbelief, "Though, I have to say that Hope is a tiny bit cuter…"

Lightning's initial reaction was to push her away, but she was overcome by a strange… saddened… cold feeling. Her inner brows rose against her will and her sulk softened into a frown, her lower lip nearly pursed.

Her heart almost melted when she saw that abandoned child-like face. Vanille wanted to hug her with full strength and never let go. She was right; Lightning was like the boy – like a _child_. Who knew such a cold soldier would store emotions like that? Compassion was one thing, but _this_! Vanille could no longer resist; she threw her arms around Lightning's neck and kissed her on the cheek. "Hope is cuter, but I love you."

She raised a brow. "… That… doesn't even relate…"

Vanille laughed. "Exactly, so why do you have to worry?"

Lightning clicked her tongue. "I'm not worried," She pulled back to look at the redhead, "Just that… I didn't like the way he looked at you. That's all."

"Oh? But that only proves that your girlfriend is attractive. Shouldn't you be proud?"

Smirking, she leaned in so that their foreheads touched. "Only I can check you out." Lightning hissed.

Vanille shivered. She smiled and kissed the woman, giving her the upper-hand as she parted her lips so that she could explore her this time.

The banana taste that was still in the girl's mouth turned her on. And, strange, it wasn't as good people described it as. Why were they all lining up for this? She'd much rather have her vanilla over this. Drawing back, she licked her lips and smirked that sexy smirk at the shorter girl, to which the latter responded by pouting. "Banana isn't all that special," Lightning said casually.

Vanille would disagree had she not try it, but since she had, she realized that the woman was right. "Yeah, strawberry is better." Staring at her pink hair, she nodded and repeated, "Mm… strawberry is _way _better."

* * *

**_Yes… I'm still alive lol. It's really hard to concentrate when you're in Japan, okay? I'm getting me some of that crepe and ice-cream right now omg. Hopefully, you guys are still following this (cries if you're not ;_;). _**

**_Reviews are always welcomed! Reading them makes me sugoku ureshii :3_**

_**PS: Does this chapter clarify what/who the 'banana' flavour is back in chapter 10? :D**  
**PPS: The newly-added titles to each chapter help me remember what happened in them. It's nothing big, so don't think too much about it.**  
_


	15. Hope II

Chapter 15 - Hope II

"You don't really have to walk me to work all the time, you know?" Lightning said.

Vanille grinned. "Onee-san, you were the one who said that you want to see me as much as possible during the day. You don't have to act all cool about it—"

"Hey, hey, hey," She pressed a finger against the redhead's lips and looked around them. Good thing it was still early, and the route they took wasn't particularly popular for morning walks. The soldier glared at her and whispered shyly, "Keep this to yourself…"

The girl giggled. "Mmm, okay then." Just as Lightning began to walk again, Vanille turned around, "I guess I'll head back – ack!"

Lightning had gripped onto her wrist, stopping her. She cleared her throat and started nervously, "… Well… since you're out here already…" Looking to the side, the soldier went on, in an even quieter voice, "… might as well walk all the way?"

_So cute._

Always trying to look tough and bitter, Lightning. She really was nothing more than a child who was in need to grow up quickly – and this _innocence _was one of her attributes in which Vanille found charming, in which she fell for. "You're such a kid," She teased.

Lightning frowned, and then a smirk appeared. "And that's coming from the nineteen year-old who still wears pigtails?" She countered cleverly.

"Hey! At least I don't waste an hour _every day_ curling my hair!"

Her eyes narrowed. "An hour? _You_ spend a total of three each day in the washroom, doing masks and _whatever-whatever_ treatments to your skin! Why would you need to use three hours?"

"…!" Vanille gritted her teeth, almost as if she wanted to make a _'grr' _sound. "If I don't treat my skin now, I'll look like I'm fifty when I'm thirty!"

_Wow. _This, for some reason, turned into a silly argument. "Who cares?" Lightning said in a nonchalant manner.

"I do! I don't have flawless skin like you, onee-san!"

"Flawless skin…? I don't think it matters…"

"Yes, it does! What if I don't look pretty when I grow up?"

A brow arched firmly, "Like I said, it doesn't matter—"

"But I'm scared that you'll—"

Lightning pressed a finger against Vanille's lips, silencing her. When all was quiet again, she finally spoke in a serious tone, "You think I'm with you because of your looks?"

She gasped sharply. _Is onee-san implying that I'm ugly now? _"I-I find that rather offensive!"

The woman sighed. "Okay, let me try that again…" Perhaps the wording she used was wrong. She cleared her throat, "You're very pretty, but that's not the reason why I… fell for you…"

Eyes fluttering in delight by now, normally, she would be blushing from hearing something this sweet and rare from Lightning, but she couldn't help it; she started to chuckle.

"… What?" Lightning said, raising a brow.

Vanille covered her mouth with a fist, stopping her laughter. "So you're okay with me… e-even… even if I turn into an old woman?"

She blinked curiously. "… By the time you're an old woman, I'm pretty sure I'll be one too. So, no, I won't mind."

"Even if I get weird-looking tattoos all over my body?"

"That's rather attractive."

She giggled. "Even if I turn into a chocobo?"

Lightning shrugged her shoulders. "Well, if you're a chocobo, it'd be efficient for me because I'd be able to ride you every da—" _W-wait. That sounded wrong…_

Hearing that, she started to get creative, "What if I turned into a giant mech-robot thing, with hundreds of arms that resemble tentacles, and I'm able to shoot missiles and stuff, and—"

"Whatever you turn into, Vanille," The woman interrupted calmly, "You're perfect to me." She smiled.

Her heart rate increased by tenfold. As much as she liked to hear corny confessions from Lightning, Vanille had to admit that it was a good thing that she didn't tell her this stuff often, otherwise she would, for sure, die early from hearing too much words of happiness. Returning the smile with one of her own, Vanille took the opportunity to re-loop her arms around the soldier's.

"I love you." She hummed sweetly.

Lightning stared at her in wonder. "What's that all of a sudden?"

She pursed her lips. "Hmm, yeah, what _was _that?" Tapping her chin curiously, Vanille started, "I dunno. I guess I felt like saying it because… um, well, because I'm grateful for meeting you."

A tint of pinkness crept up from her neck and spread to her cheeks. Lightning's eyes softened when the girl's smile widened into a grin. "What…" Again, she looked around to see if anyone was close by. The volume in her voice was once more lowered into a mere whisper. "… Don't suddenly get so cheesy…"

Chuckling, Vanille rested her head snugly on the woman's shoulder, and yelled, "Onee-san, I LOVE YOU!"

Lightning literally hissed like a snake before covering the redhead's mouth clumsily with a palm. "What the—!" She whispered angrily, "Vanille!" Checking again, the soldier was sure that the whole world was eyeing them strangely by now. The pink colour on her cheeks deepening to crimson, Lightning could swear that she would beat the crap out of Vanille – _oh, no she wouldn't – _when she got home tonight.

"Don't do that again!" Lightning scolded.

Well, it was a shame that nobody paid attention to her loud confession. Sneaky Vanille actually wanted somebody to look at them so that she could embarrass her soldier for once. Unfortunately, there were only about four people present in her view: there was a jogger, who probably couldn't hear her as he was too far from them and had his earphones on, two seniors at least a basketball court away walking together, and a man on a nearby bench paying too much attention to the newspaper he was reading.

Vanille pouted. "Is it wrong that I want the world to know that I love you?"

She shivered. How could the girl say it so easily…? This was the third time this morning! "N-no… just that…" Lightning looked to the ground, "… just that… I think you should say it only during special occasions."

"Special occasions?"

She nodded. "Yeah… like, if I'm dying or something. I don't know – just… don't say it randomly…"

Confused, Vanille scratched her cheek with a finger. "But… it's not random. I say it because I think every moment I spend with you is special," She explained, "Onee-san is special to me. Isn't it the same for you? Isn't that the reason why you want to see me as much as possible?"

Steam was coming out of the soldier's head by now. Of course she thought so, but how could she admit that out loud? "I…" How could this girl say it so easily? She shook away the thoughts. Maybe it was about time to drop the subject. "… O-okay, fine. But, uh, try to reduce it, at least? Maybe save it up and then say it… uh, say it at the end of the week – yeah. Yeah, do that." She stammered.

"Oh." Vanille complied willingly. "Okay. I'll also give you a big bear-hug as I say it, how's that?"

_Whew._ She didn't hear what she just said – Lightning was just glad that she got that over with.

"But what about you, onee-san? When will you tell me?"

_Damn it. The subject wasn't dropped yet. _"I-I'll say it when I want to. That makes it extra special." _God, _talking to Vanille was like talking to an overly-curious child sometimes.

Vanille sighed. _Man, _talking to Lightning was like talking to an overly-proud child at times. "… Onee-san, you've only told me that you love me 'directly' once."

_Twice, actually. _Lightning said mentally. _I told you when you were drunk that night at the bar_, her mind went on. She would totally say that out loud, but the way she told her on that night was so damn corny, she felt as though she would strangle herself if she said it again. "W-well… I'm just…"

"You're just like a boy." She frowned. "Always being so secretive and quiet… you're only willing to say it when we're—" Vanille paused abruptly, "… when… we're…"

"— _So just kill me! Do whatever you want!"_

The air grew thicker, and they both knew exactly why.

"… _You're not supposed to fall in love with someone like me."_

The words on that day were engraved into her heart. She couldn't forget about it even if she wanted to. There was no way she hide from her history. Vanille looked away as she bit onto her lower lip. Even though she promised Lightning that she would throw away this _guilt_, a small part of her, a hidden part of her still wondered: did she deserve to be loved by Lightning? Was she good enough to be her girlfriend? Was it… even right for her to stay with such a kind person…?

All the light disappeared from the girl's eyes, and it was easy for Lightning to see. But she wasn't going to let something this stupid to ruin her mood. _No, not even bad memories. _Vanille wasn't going to be saddened after all that they've gone through; she wasn't going to become sad _anymore_ – Lightning wouldn't allow it. "Hey," She called softly, breaking the silence.

Vanille forced a smile. She looked up. "Hmm?"

Lightning couldn't' bring herself to say the words, but she could definitely express it through her actions. She leaned in and kissed Vanille's lips, cradling the smaller girl in her arms. Lightning was going to protect her. Nothing could hurt Vanille. Nothing. _Ever._

It was strange. Lightning had the oddest views in things. How could kissing in public not be embarrassing, but confessing in public be? Surely, the former would draw way more attention, right?

Her hands moved up to Lightning's shoulders. She grasped at the leather vest with excitement. The soldier loved her – that much she knew, that much she could feel. She didn't ask for her to say it because she had doubts; all she wanted was to tease her.

Once Lightning pulled away, Vanille immediately gasped for air, and this time, the pinkness covered _her _cheeks. Her breath uneven, she mumbled, "O-onee-san, you're being unfair…"

"Hmm? How so?"

"D-doing this to me in public all the time… people can see, you know?"

Lightning bent low enough until their foreheads touched. "They don't have to look." She grinned and then moved in to hug her tighter.

Vanille glanced around. _Good, this place is still empty_. Vanille's chin used the taller woman's shoulder as a cushion – Lightning had the perfect height. Actually, it wasn't just the height; personality, character traits, and even looks-wise, everything was perfect. Lightning was simply perfect.

Vanille smiled at the thought. "Onee-san…" She called lovingly.

"Hmm?"

"Are you going to hug me like this all day?"

"I plan to." Lightning mused.

She giggled. As much as she liked this… "I think you're going to be late for work though…"

The woman gasped. In a flash, she drew away, eyes bulging in horror. She didn't need to look for a watch, as it was quite easy to tell that she had wasted a good fifteen minutes standing here with Vanille. If she started sprinting now, perhaps it was still possible to make it on time before Amodar started lecturing her on tardiness.

"Ugh." Lightning grunted as she released the girl; she actually _was _thinking of hugging her all day, but, _damn crappy work schedules_, maybe she could do it later when she was off. "I'll go alone from here, I need to run, anyway. You okay with walking home yourself?"

Vanille narrowed her eyebrows. "How old do you think I am!"

She smirked. "Hn, bye then." And she ran off.

The girl held onto her hipbones and huffed. Treating her like a child was Lightning's way of teasing – actually, they both liked to pick out each other's childish traits and then use it against each other. How odd; they were so alike, yet—

Vanille blinked. "Eh?" Lightning suddenly stopped heading for the opposite direction; she had turned around and was running back towards her. "… Onee-san?" She called when her soldier came close, "What's wrong?"

Lightning smiled in response. "Nothing much," said she, and then she leaned in to, once again, plant a kiss on Vanille's lips. Before it got into anything more than innocent, she quickly drew away and stated tenderly, "Just that I suddenly wanted to kiss you."

_Just that I suddenly wanted to tell you that I love you._

She blushed. Like _crazy._

"See you later, my _mech-robot-thing-with-a-hundred-arms_." Lightning winked – _Vanille's heart fluttered _– and ran off again.

* * *

Her heart still pounding due to _obvious _reasons, forget about focussing, she couldn't even think straight. After what seemed to be an hour, she finally found the strength to move again – although as to where she was moving to, the girl hadn't a clue. But right now, she knew that she was in a flower shop. Or, why else would she be surrounded by so many flowers?

"Stupid onee-san." She mumbled as she picked through a pink rose. "Stupid, stupid, stupid, _stupid_ onee-san!" The petals fell freely onto the floor, some landing on her toes.

"Uh, miss…?"

Vanille spun around to glare at whoever spoke to her. She really wasn't in the mood right now for conversation.

The shopkeeper swallowed. "C-can I help you?"

"Help me with what!" She said with an edgy voice.

"Um… I, uh…" She stammered. Well, wasn't this one hell of a customer? Usually people who came in would be happy and all – as flowers _were _bought as gifts for happiness. Rarely – actually, _never _did people come in to vent like this stranger. "Perhaps… I can show you a catalogue of our finest-decorated bouquets?" She eyed the patch of roses worriedly. By now, the customer had stripped a single rose naked of its blossoming, healthy, pink petals. If she left her there unintended for any longer, she might lose her entire shop.

Vanille followed the shopkeeper's eyes and finally realized what she had done. Embarrassed, she backed off. "Oh my gosh!" _Nice going Vanille. _"I-I'll pay for this – I am so sorry!"

The woman let out a breath of relief. Well, at least now she knew that the girl wasn't insane. She smiled politely. "Oh, don't worry about it. It's only one flower – no big deal."

She sighed. Looking at the shopkeeper, she realized that she must've been behaving really stupidly just now. "I'm sorry, I don't think I'm going to get anything today."

Still smiling, the woman nodded. "It's okay. Thanks for stopping by. Do come again!"

_Sigh._

Once she exited the shop, she realized that she was in a mall. Since when did she get here? _How _did she get here? Whatever the case, Vanille felt embarrassed. What was she doing, being such an idiot in public? Why was she getting so confused over a simple kiss? Lightning kissed her _all _the time, so why was she feeling this way now? Why, out of everything, was she _frustrated _at the kiss? Then she thought – _maybe it wasn't the kiss, but was the wink?_ It looked – Vanille had to admit – sexy as hell, and she actually wanted to pounce on the woman right then and there. She only didn't do it because she was completely paralyzed.

Wait. _Pounce _on her? What did she mean by that?

She went red. Goosebumps appeared all over her skin, which was ironic because she wasn't even cold. In fact, she was sweating.

Okay, to put it simply, she was frustrated because… because Lightning looked overwhelmingly-hot for a split second? _What? _

But she was hot all the time, what made this occasion so special? Vanille closed her eyes to picture the whole scenario again.

_Kiss._

_Smirk._

_Wink._

… Okay, that was hot as hell. _Everything she did was hot as hell!_ Her lips, their softness, the way they arched as she smiled. Her eyes, their bright azure colour, the way they twinkle when she blinked. _Pure beauty_. Vanille wanted more of it, she wanted more of Lightning, she wanted to—

Her lower body suddenly had this hazy feeling – her legs were numb, her feet were cold, and she felt like there were butterflies flying in her pelvic region. It was almost like her lower body took in alcohol or something – it was feeling lightheaded, yes. Yes, that was it.

But then, it hit her.

What if_…_ what if this was a sexual desire? Vanille honestly had no idea; she never had such a feeling. It wasn't like she could bring herself to think about such things after being raped. Actually, minus the few times she wanted to be 'fair' to the woman, Vanille had never thought about sex in her life. But she was very curious – if by a kiss, Lightning meant '_I love you_', then what would making love mean? What was beyond '_I_ _love you'_?

Vanille wanted to know. But she was still scared… scared of—

"_I'm sorry… that this is all that I can give you…"_

—scared of memories resurfacing? No, it was nothing like that.

It didn't matter, however. So what if this was a sexual desire? She wanted to be closer to Lightning more than anyone in the world. She wanted to discover more of the woman, she wanted _more_. She wanted to know _all _of her soldier, and truthfully, if it wasn't because of those voices that still haunted her, she would have done it already. But considering the fact that they haven't come back for a while, maybe – _just maybe _– if Lightning initiated, or, rather, _kissed _her again tonight, she would allow her to go further?

"… _Vanille, I don't need anything else as long as you stay with me."_

But of course, the woman wouldn't easily give in; she promised not to hurt her, after all. Lightning was always holding back because of her history – because of the fact that she was raped. She knew that the soldier wanted it long ago (since their first kiss, in fact), and, _hell_, did she want to give it to her back then. Even though she knew Lightning's touch wasn't going to be painful, she was, in no doubt, _scared_. But one must get over one's fears, right? No matter what, she had to face it one day, so why not now, of all times, when she was feeling _this _ready?

Yes. Today. No escape.

Suddenly, her heart began to pound faster. Images of what they were going to do on the soldier's bed tonight – _lips, naked skin, fingers, moans… _– flashed through her eyes, and _god_, was she getting excited – _er _– embarrassed. Then, the strangest thing came to mind: _what should she do to prepare? _Should she buy some sort of sexy undergarment to surprise Lightning? Should she decorate the room to make it more romantic? A nice meal, perhaps? Condoms – _wait, WHAT? _Vanille shook her head, hard. This was getting out of hand. She was thinking far too much about it for her own good. It was best to get this off her mind until later.

_It's okay to procrastinate sometimes!_

Of course, of course. For now, window shopping would be good, since she was in a mall and all.

_Start walking already!_

But…

_What were you thinking, Vanille! Why would you even need to get condoms? Onee-san isn't a guy… she isn't a guy, b-but… Oh! She might like it if I buy a new set of lingerie. She m-might get t-t-turned on, and… oh man, what if she doesn't like it? W-what if her joke about me gaining a few pounds wasn't a joke after all? What if… what if…!_

"V-Vanille-san?"

"Eek!"

"Whoa!"

Jumping back, Vanille's heel missed the step behind and she lost balance, causing her to fall backwards.

"Vanille-san!" He grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards himself, and then took hold of her other wrist to make her stand straight.

"Oh… oh my…" It was rather difficult to catch her breath as she couldn't even see or think straight to begin with, but when she saw her saviour, she broke into a grin. "Hope! I'm so sorry about that… Oh! I mean… erm, good morning!"

The boy was, in fact, already deathly-nervous from seeing his crush on the other side of the mall (which was realistically a football field away), he was even more scared when he decided to make this (possibly) life-changing choice by coming up to her. Now, he was even _holding _onto her – that was enough to make his arteries explode. On top of that, being this close, he could see the pinkness on her cheeks deepen gradually in a rosy colour. It made him feel… kind of… "Uh! Um…!" _Snap out of it! _He let go, and took a step back, "G-good morning, Vanille-san…"

She nodded lightly and clasped her hands behind herself, maintaining a smile on her face.

Was he doing this right? He wanted to become friendly with Vanille (and dare he say, he wanted to become _more _than friendly with her), but being the inexperienced teenager he was, Hope had absolutely no idea where and how to begin. The taller girl wasn't saying anything, so perhaps he had to queue to do something? "Uh…" He had the biggest urge to just run away, but, _damn it, man the hell up, Hope! You want to know her better, don't you! _The boy clenched his teeth hard and continued, as calmly as possible, "W-what were you doing here, Vanille-san?"

"… Me?" Well, she must've looked like an idiot (again), or why else was the boy asking so awkwardly? Vanille quickly thought of an excuse, "Well, y'know…" —_I was thinking about onee-san in bed with me—_ "… I-I just… I was wandering alone, looking for a place to eat, and… yeah, I ended up in here."

_By herself? This is your freaking chance, Hope! _His conscience was right. It was now or never. "Um…"

"Hmm?"

He tensed up. Hope could imagine sweat pouring down his forehead at this moment because he was about to pass out. But he had to say this, at least before he fainted. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath, "If you don't mind, d-d-do you want to join me for breakfast!" He ended up screaming the sentence out.

Vanille tilted her head slightly.

… _Sweet_. He could hear his own voice bouncing endlessly off each wall of this huge-ass building. Forget about the odd looks he got from the people; he was more concerned with the girl's response. With the last bit of courage remaining, Hope opened an eye to peek at Vanille. To his surprise, she was still smiling tenderly; it didn't seem like his loud voice scared her at all.

"I don't mind," She replied happily, "But do you? I mean, it's a privilege for someone as common as I to hang out with a handsome boy such as yourself!"

"…!" _H-handsome… she called me…?_

"So," She chirped, bending lower sideways to meet him at eye-level, "Is it really alright?"

_Oh god, oh god, oh god! She's so close! _"I-I… well, I…" He took a millisecond to glance at Vanille, and as if this wasn't made clear enough before, _holy crap, was she pretty_. She certainly smelled sweet as well; everything about her was just so appealing. Suddenly, in his mind, an announcement was made; he was going to go after her despite Maqui's warning about her sister.

"Hope?"

"I'm fine!" He squeaked like a hamster in response.

Vanille giggled.

He loosened up. It was nice to know that she didn't find his awkwardness freaky, and this was more so the reason why he was attracted to her. The girl's carefree attitude was so refreshing, he could almost feel that he'd get 'fresher' the closer he was to her. And this freshness from her cute giggle somehow dispersed all the fears and doubts left in his heart. He let out a deep breath and started to talk normally again. "I'm fine, really. Maqui and my other friends originally planned to have breakfast somewhere here, and then we would go to the garage to work for the entire day, but then they called a little while ago…"

"Plans are cancelled?"

He nodded. "Yeah…"

She frowned in his place. "Aw, it's okay, don't be disappointed!"

Hope shook his head. "No, don't worry about it. So, um, how about it? Would you like to… eat with me?" He felt like a knight talking to a princess, as he had never in his life spoke like this to anyone before.

A smile returned to her face. "I'd be honoured to." She said politely. "I can't guarantee that hanging out with me will be fun, though, but I'll try not to be boring."

Smiling back, he almost had the urge to hold the girl's hand. This was a date, after all, no matter how indirect and one-sided it looked. But of course, he didn't have it in him to actually do it. Instead, he simply said, "C'mon, let's go. I know a good place upstairs."

* * *

"They're coming? _Here_?"

"And we're going to be questioned?" A soldier called out, "By the PSICOM?"

Amodar nodded calmly. "That's right, solider." The lieutenant was giving his usual, weekly-briefing with the Guardian Corps soldiers in the headquarters' coffee room. Usually, if any other higher-ups were present, they would do this formally in the meeting room like they should, but the man was rather lax with these typical cases.

"Sir, with all due respect," Another one called out, "What right does the Sanctum have to just _jump _into Bodhum's military business like that? I mean it rarely – sorry, it _never_ bothered to even look at this town, so why—"

"The Sanctum is the Sanctum. It's the boss, and we have to listen to whoever's in command. Just like how you all have to listen to me."

Hearing that, they became speechless.

"Anyway, going back on topic, other than interrogating our men, they will be working alongside with us. More details will be given to you when they arrive, but the basic idea is that they will patrol with you, work with you during your shifts, and tail you like dogs, so behave yourself."

"What!"

"Is this a joke?"

"That's fucking bullshit!"

The volume getting out of control, Amodar raised a hand. "Quiet, men. I'm just as unsatisfied with this kind of planning as you all are, but, like I said, the Sanctum is the Sanctum. We, the Guardian Corps, are merely a branch of the PSICOM – a rather _small _branch, so…"

"So we have no choice huh?"

Amodar let out an expected sigh. "Unfortunately, no." He muttered. "Let's just hope that all will go well, and Bodhum won't turn into another Palumpolum."

Hearing that, whispers immediately filled the room. The town of Palumpolum, like Bodhum and any other city of Cocoon, had its own division of Guardian Corps. Not more than three months ago, the PSICOM gave a strikingly similar announcement to the port city – how they were supposed to question and work with the soldiers – and they ended up controlling the entire town, completely erasing the existence of their Guardian Corps at the same time. Right after that, Palumpolum was labelled as a quarantined zone; nobody was allowed to enter, exit, nor did anybody know what was going on inside, and no legitimate reason was given.

"… But why do you think they do that? Why do they suddenly occupy peaceful towns, and then isolate it from the world?" A soldier asked.

Amodar took a sip from his mug. "Who knows? Maybe some insane fugitive's on the loose – we get a lot of that. 'Cept they never come here. Or, they could be using peaceful towns as places for building WMDD."

"Uh… lieutenant, shouldn't we be concerned about this…?"

He grunted and rolled his eyes. "That was just an assumption, soldier."

Everyone in the room sighed in unison. Amodar was never one-hundred percent serious, yet he was a man of such high rank; sometimes, the soldiers had more trouble differentiating his real orders and sarcastic ones. Fortunately, the missions he had led by far were always successful.

"That," The lieutenant suddenly said in a far more serious voice, "Or the war's gone for the worse. They want to expand their territory, cover more ground, throw in more men all over the place to prevent terrorist attacks and whatnot."

The atmosphere suddenly grew thicker; the topic of war was never comfortable to begin with after all.

"Anyhow, the PSICOM will be arriving next Monday at around eighteen hours. Soldiers on shift at that time should standby for the first round of interrogation, which should last approximately an hour if lucky. After the talk, return to your patrols. The next shift will follow the same orders, and so on. Now, just because there are more people patrolling now, it doesn't mean you can slack off. Are we clear?"

For the most part, all remained quiet, while some of them shook their heads, but it was obvious that the news had completely killed his men's moods. Some other whispers such as _'they could be here forever' _was audible.

The lieutenant nodded satisfyingly; it wasn't like he enjoyed giving these tedious speeches. "Good, that's all I have to announce. Dismissed. Get back to your patrols now."

He was rather proud to see that despite hearing such a depressing announcement, his men still followed his orders without showing signs of unwillingness. As more soldiers left the room, leaving only a few who were on standby for their shifts, Amodar spotted a certain pink-haired sergeant sitting restlessly on her chair in the corner. The corner of an eyebrow arched; usually, this young soldier would be the first to leave as soon as he finished his speeches. She was always in a hurry – a natural workaholic; she could never spare a minute. But today, for some reason, it looked like she was frozen, or, more accurately, dumbstruck.

"Sergeant?"

She jumped. Looking up and realizing that her superior was standing up and she was sitting down, Lightning blasted up like a rocket. "Sir, my apologies—"

"Whoa, whoa." His hands made a 'calm-down' gesture, "Easy, there, Sergeant Farron. Don't freak out, we can't have the most diligent of our soldiers losing it now, can we?"

He was trying to be funny, Lightning knew. Usually, she'd smile at his jokes out of respect, but right now, she couldn't find the mood to do so. She had more important things to worry about – _way more important. _"Sir," Lightning started quietly.

"What seems to be the problem?" The taller man asked cheerfully.

She wanted to respond with '_a lot of things', _but it wasn't like sharing with him would help. This had to be dealt with by herself, nobody else in the world could help. She felt bad for lying, she had never done it before, especially to her lieutenant, but this was necessary. "I am feeling unwell." She said quietly, "Is it possible for me to get an early dismissal today?"

"…"

_Damn it. That didn't sound 'unwell' at all. Must've been convincing as hell, Lightning. Nice going._

There was a short moment of pause, and then Amodar suddenly started, "It'd be irresponsible and selfish of me to say no if you're feeling sick." He smiled. "Go on, pack your stuff and get some rest when you get home. Don't hesitate to prolong your break if you're still unwell tomorrow."

_Weight off her chest_. Lightning breathed out. "Thank you, sir."

Amodar nodded kindly before heading for the exit. When he approached the door, he stopped abruptly and turned around, "By the way, sergeant," He said, "You _are_ looking quite pale."

"…"

"I suggest you to _actually _go home and rest. Don't do anything that'll worsen your condition, now." The lieutenant concluded in a jolly manner and finally left the room.

… So he saw through her lie, huh? She sighed softly. But, truth to be told, Lightning was indeed feeling a bit woozy since morning, though something this small would go away by the end of the day – it wasn't anything serious. Something far more serious was Vanille's safety. She had to warn her about the PSICOM, she couldn't let them hurt her again. She had to protect her.

* * *

"Ice-cream in the morning?" Vanille laughed when the waitress brought a glass holding at least five levels of ice-cream to their table. "You're crazy, Hope!"

He grinned shyly. "You can't really blame me…" Licking his lips hungrily, Hope reached for his spoon, "I'm a growing boy, so it's natural for me to have such a weird appetite. Would you like to try? This seems a bit too big even for me…"

"Oh, you're just saying that because you want to share, don't you?" Vanille grinned back at him.

_H-have I been seen through? Does she know? I-is she… hitting on me? _He pinched himself mentally to make sure he wasn't dreaming. "N-no… I just thought that, you know… that you might, like, want to, uh…"

She broke into a soft chuckle. "Relax! I'm only playing around," Vanille picked up her own spoon, "But since you offered… don't mind if I do!"

To be honest, a little part of him wanted to be 'seen through' – it would take away the trouble of having to confess.

"I'll let you have some of my pancakes when it gets here later," She said before taking a spoonful of chocolate ice-cream into her mouth. "Mmm! Let's…" Vanille paused to swallow, "… let's put the ice-cream on the pancakes later!"

His face lit up. "That sounds good. I hope the pancakes are fresh and hot, though. Having the ice-cream melt on them like butter is the best. It's like eating crepe – a whole different dessert right there."

"You think so too?" She said avidly, "Onee-san said the same thing!"

"Onee-san…?" An angry, tall, intimidating woman with strawberry-blonde hair popped up in his mind, and, for some reason, she was glaring at him with hatred. "Oh, y-you mean…"

"Yep," She smiled, "The woman who stormed off like a little girl the day I bumped into you and Maqui." Placing down her spoon on a napkin, she went on, "Don't worry about her, though. She's always like that."

He could still remember how his heart froze in a temperature that was beyond the measure of a thermometer simply by meeting that woman's gaze. It was hell, literally. If anything, he would rather sit in a tub of boiling water for an hour than glance at those icy eyes for another second. "I-I almost thought I did something wrong when she looked at me like that." He laughed nervously.

"Nah, you didn't do anything wrong. It was me."

"Eh?"

She stuck her tongue out, almost as if she was ashamed. "You see… I was at fault for being so… um… _close _to you, so it's really natural for onee-san to be mad," Vanille bowed her head low and clapped her hands in front of her face, the action surprising the boy across the table. "I'm really sorry! I didn't mean to… like… t-touch you—"

His cheeks flushed crimson. Sitting up straight, he adjusted his mint-coloured neckerchief anxiously. "Er, w-well, it's not that much of a deal – I mean, you were just trying to help…"

"So… you're not mad?" Hands still together, Vanille looked up.

He shook his head. "But I think… I should be the one to apologize." Hope murmured, "I did ruin your handkerchief…"

"Oh, don't worry about it!" She chuckled, "I can always buy a new one!"

"No, that still isn't right…" He said. "I mean, my clumsiness _was _the reason for all of that, so… how about I treat you to this meal?"

"Treat… w-what… how does that even relate!" Vanille was deeply amused by this boy's politeness. She found him almost chivalric to be this nice. "Don't be so nice to me, Hope, or I'm going to fall for you!"

By the tone of her voice, it was clearly, one-hundred-percent, a joke. But, damn, his heart went ahead to throb like there was no tomorrow, like he just heard her confess to him, like… like the deepest desires in him came true.

"… Say, Hope, you're quite skilled at being an escort. I bet you have a ton of fan girls at school!"

"Egh—fan girls!" He exclaimed. _Is that why the girls always look at me…?_

Vanille laughed. "I'm right, am I not?"

He admitted defeat, though he wasn't going to say that out loud. The boy didn't want Vanille to know that she had competition, that was, _if _she actually had a crush on him.

"So I'm having a date with Mr. Popular, eh? I better watch myself… don't want any of those girls jump on me when I'm alone!"

"I—" _I'll protect you_ – was what he wanted to say, but, instead, "I… wouldn't worry if I were you…" came out.

"Hmm? Why's that?"

He sighed. "I don't go to school here, you see. I'm only here to visit my techy-friends I met at a camp last year – I actually came from Palumpolum."

The mood to joke around disappeared. She suddenly felt a circuit of electricity run up her spine. The name of that city… she recognized it. Vanille knew that place. She knew that her mere few hours' stay at that city caused it—

"Truth is, I want to spend the remaining time of my summer back at home, but you heard about the news of some weird sickness spreading there, right?"

_No… that's not the reason. It was no sickness, no disease, no virus; it's just the PSICOM… _

She smiled lightly and nodded.

"It's been three months already," Hope poked his spoon at his ice-cream repeatedly. "School's starting in a month and everything… I hope they deal with it quicker."

"Don't worry, Hope," Vanille said. No matter how much she doubted her own words, she had to cheer the boy up, "I'm sure it'll be over real soon! You can use this time to focus on the vehicle you're' building with Maqui and everyone. And I'm sure you'll build something awesome by the end of summer."

He nodded. All of his friends here told him the exact same thing, but it felt different to hear it from her. "Thanks, Vanille-san." It felt way better. At the very least, her soft voice was warm enough to remind him of the people he loved back at home. "I'm fine as long as mom and dad are okay."

Vanille moved her hands under the table to hide them. They were trembling with fear. The thoughts of running through the streets of the port city, panicking, getting lost, seeing those armoured men… _no, _she wasn't afraid of that. Thinking about what she had done to those innocent people, what her simple _presence _had done to those people, to… to this innocent boy's parents—

"Your pancakes sure are taking long, aren't they? Should we ask the waiters what's taking them?"

His voice interrupted her troubling thoughts, and that was probably what she needed – something to draw her mind away. "Sure," Vanille tried to smile.

Hope nodded and raised an arm. "At this rate, we won't be able to eat the pancakes like crepe because the ice-cream's already melting like butter."

She faked a soft chuckle.

* * *

The day didn't go as well as she thought it would. After breakfast, she found it too hard to maintain her cheery self, and she didn't want to bring down the boy's mood when she was surrounded by a gloomy aura. In the end, they parted ways, and Vanille started to wander aimlessly around the mall – she still had things to buy, after all. Though, eventually, she ended up getting nothing; her feet seemed to have a life of their own, apparently. Before she knew it, she was back at the apartment; standing in front of the soldier's flat's entrance.

Vanille heaved a deep sigh.

_Don't let it get to you, Vanille. You have to let it go. _

Yeah. She was living a better life now; she had to cherish every moment. If she didn't, then she'd end up worrying her soldier. Lightning always acted as if she didn't care, but it was quite apparent that the woman always had an eye on her. The slightest hint of sadness, anxiety, or fear could stir the woman up, and then she would do everything she could to erase the negative feelings.

Vanille smiled. _Everything she does can cheer me up. _Finally, she placed her thumb on the scanner. Lightning had long registered her fingerprint; it was now another one of the keys to the house – the other one being the soldier's.

A dark, sunset-red light dyed the flat in an unpleasant and rusty orangey colour. The worst time of the day – sunset – something both she and Lightning hated. The only positive thing about this time was that Lightning would be home soon, and Vanille always looked forward to the moment she walked through that door. They would chat about the day as the girl cooked, and Lightning would try to grab a bite from whatever that was still cooking on the stove… then Vanille would scold her and she would laugh it off playfully. The days went by peacefully like that, and Vanille honestly believed that they could remain that way forever. That was up until now, when she was reminded of Palumpolum – a city where people had once lived like this. Their lives were changed, imprisoned – all because of her one, little visit.

She turned on the lights in the apartment, replacing the ugly colour with a brighter, white one. She was about to step out of the doorway and into the kitchen to prepare food, but then, when she removed her flip-flops, she saw Lightning's pair of boots placed clumsily beside the shelf. Lightning? She was home?

Vanille walked deeper into the flat and looked to the left at the living room. No, she wasn't watching TV. She looked to the right at the kitchen. No… she wasn't there – but the fridge was left open. "Uh oh," Vanille speed-walked her way around the counter; it was strange of Lightning to be so careless. Come to think of it, where was she—

"Oh my goodness!" Vanille exclaimed. Lightning was lying on the floor, breathing heavily. She quickly closed the fridge door and knelt down beside the soldier. Picking her up, she let Lightning rest on her shoulder. "Onee-san?" She called in a panic, "Onee-san! Wake up…!"

Vaguely, she could hear someone yelling at her. She didn't feel like answering that someone, however, as the only thing Lightning wanted right now was to strip off her annoying clothes and jump into a pool of freezing water. It was just too hot…

When Lightning's eyes opened slightly, Vanille sighed with relief. "Onee-san, you're really sick…"

She could barely see the girl with that murky vision she had right now. "No… I'm fine…"

"_Fine_? You passed out in the kitchen! How is that _fine_?" She placed her palm on the woman's forehead. "You were okay this morning… why are you suddenly…?"

Lightning tried to sit up, but it was like her muscles were lost in another dimension – that, and it didn't seem like her body wanted to obey her orders. "I…"

She didn't have the strength to carry the woman, but Vanille could definitely help her up. Letting one of Lightning's arms drape over her shoulders, she wrapped an arm around the woman's waist, subsequently making her stand up. Once stable, Vanille began to walk. "Onee-san, we need to get you to your room—"

"… I was running all over town," She said weakly, "… looking for you…"

Vanille blinked curiously. "Looking for me…? Why?"

Lightning tried to concentrate as her legs moved lazily with the girl's pace. "Because…" _Because the PSICOM is coming._

"…?" The girl stayed quiet, awaiting an answer.

_I need to protect you._

"Onee-san?"

_I don't want anything to hurt you anymore.  
_

She wanted to say it – she really did – but no… mentioning the PSICOM to her was far too risky. She couldn't let those memories come back again. Lightning sighed. The subject had to be changed, "… Because… I missed you." It wasn't entirely a lie, so she didn't feel guilty for saying it.

"Eh…?" Vanille almost stopped walking upon hearing that, but then she remembered, "… Onee-san, you're definitely sick…" And that was why she was talking so strangely. Reaching the soldier's room, Vanille kicked the door open lightly with her toes, and then guided Lightning to her bed.

"Thanks…" She said softly as she lied on the bed.

Vanille smiled. "Feels nice to get taken care of, doesn't it?" She pulled the covers over the woman and sat down beside her. This was only the second time she had seen Lightning so weak – the first time was the day after her birthday when she got that horrible hangover.

"Not really." The soldier muttered. "I'd rather be the one to take care of people."

"So taking responsibility is fun to you?"

The woman snorted. "I just don't want to depend on people… I get the feeling that I have to repay them… otherwise, there'd be an irritation in my heart that would never disappear unless—"

"Okay, okay," Vanille laughed. "Stop talking and get some rest. At this rate, you'll have no choice but to depend on people for everything."

No longer having the strength to argue, Lightning closed her eyes.

Vanille brushed away the pink bangs that covered the soldier's closed eyes. The woman was obviously restless, as it was easy to tell that she didn't get sick often. She was probably the type who got sick once every few years. "I'll make you some food now, okay?"

She nodded.

The girl took hold of Lightning's hand before standing up. "Is there anything else you need?"

Her eyes opened weakly. "I want to change out of these clothes."

Vanille scratched her cheek with a finger. "We should do that after you eat…" She said thoughtfully, "Then, I'll also wash your back to bring your temperature down."

Lightning's eyes opened completely. "W-wash my back?"

"Mhmm!" She hummed. "It works!"

"Uh… I don't think that's necessary…" Lightning was about to sit up to protest, but she was quickly pushed back down by the girl.

"Relax, onee-san. It'll feel good, I promise you."

The woman struggled to get up. "It's not _that_ I'm worried about – I just…"

Vanille shook her head. Still holding Lightning down, she began reassuringly, "As much as you dislike it, onee-san, you need to listen to me, otherwise you'll never get well."

"But, Vanille…"

She was surprisingly stubborn – more so than she usually was – when sick, Vanille decided. "Don't be such a kid!" She half-whined, "I'm never cooking for you again if you don't listen!"

Now _that _was a dangerous threat. Lightning finally complied and fell silent. The argument was going nowhere anyway. Her top priority right now was that she had to recover, and she had to do it soon. The PSICOM's visit would undoubtedly bring some sort of impact on the girl, but for now, Lightning was going to keep it a secret.

She opened her eyes to look at the redhead. She was faking a look of anger at her, but beneath that demeanour, the soldier could feel Vanille's tender gaze and her soft smile.

Yes, that was it. Lightning couldn't bear to tell her because she wanted to see the smile she adored so much for a bit longer.

* * *

**_Well, I finally updated :P _**

**_Are your BODIES PREPARED for the next arc? _**

**_Please tell me how I'm doing so far. Do you like the fic? Do you hate it? Do you think it can improve (pacing/characterization/etc)? Do you like the direction it's heading for? The next arc depends on you guys, really. So feel free to leave me a review if you haven't already! _**

**_Oh, and I'd like to apologize if I haven't replied to your reviews. I'm being super lazy (as you can tell by the speed of my updates…)_**

**_One last thing: If you guys are interested, I'm revising "Empathy" (also an L/V fic) in the M section. Go check it out if you haven't :)_**


	16. Love

Chapter 16 - Love

Friends? Family? Love?

_Can you show me?_

You don't know what they are?

_I know what apathy is._

Why?

_Why? _

Why are you always so cold?

_Cold?_

Talk. Express. Let it out.

_Why?_

Doesn't it hurt?

_I'm fine._

Then why—

_I don't need anyone…_

—why are you crying?

…

"_Éclair, you need to calm down, and listen to me very carefully."_

I was very calm.

_She blinked._

_In the middle of class, she was sent to the headmaster's office. A couple of classmates told her in whispers that she had 'done it again', but she didn't beat up any bullies lately, so the order made her curious. Instead of meeting the headmaster, however, when she entered the office, she was greeted solemnly by tall, muscular, unfamiliar men, dressed in strange, combat-like armour. Her initial thought: it didn't feel good._

I believed them.

"_W-what's the problem…?" She tried her best to keep her voice straight._

_They all looked hesitant, but one of those men eventually made a move and knelt down, meeting the girl's height. He gently placed a hand on her shoulder, and started in a calm voice, "Twelve hours ago, an accident broke out on the Fifth Arc."_

What?

"_It was caused by the Pulsians."_

I'll kill them.

"_Your mother and father were working there at that time,"_

I'll kill them all.

"_I'm sorry—"_

They're the enemies.

"—_they didn't make it—"_

They took my parents away.

…

Don't cry.

"… _Onee-chan, they're back today, right?" _

Don't cry.

"… _Onee-chan, why aren't you talking…?" _

Don't cry.

"… _Onee-chan, why are you crying…?"_

Don't you **dare.**

…

Grow up.

"… _You got into the Guardian Corps? That's great news!"_

Grow up.

"_What's that? I-is that… is that a gunblade? Wow! Only the top and most skilled soldiers get to use this!"_

Grow up.

"_Congratulations, Sergeant Lightning Farron."_

Grow up **faster.**

…

Lies.

"_Pulsians? Accident?" The soldier laughed. "It was no accident. It was a massacre—"_

Lies.

"— _done by the PSICOM."_

Lies.

"_Blaming everything on the Pulsians… they're not half-dumb."_

**LIES. **

…

_All along, I've been blaming the wrong people…_

It's not your fault.

_What should I do?_

Talk. Express. Let it out.

_There's no point._

Stop hiding.

_Nobody cares anyway._

You still have—

_I don't want her to worry._

Why are you tormenting yourself?

_Nobody cares._

…

Don't.

"… _Onee-chan, stop it. Stop sleeping with people you don't even know—"_

Don't.

"… _Is something bothering you? You can always talk to me. I'm your sister."_

Don't.

"_Onee-chan, you never talk, you never listen, you're always so selfish… how exactly do I understand you!"_

Don't show any **weakness.**

…

Nobody cares. Nobody cares about me.

…

"_Hello!" She greeted cheerfully._

Who are you?

"_Ne, onee-san, are you certain that it is alright for me to stay here?"_

Why do I even care?

"… _They held me down." Her fingers dug deep into her thighs, clawing at her white flesh, "I couldn't move."_

Who exactly are you?

"_Pinky swear! I promise you that if I ever have those… erm, panic attacks again, I'll come to you straight away, whether you like it or not."_

Who are you to me?

"_Onee-san, you…" She whispered nervously, "… did you just kiss me?"_

Apathy…?

"… _Really? So… I'm technically your… first?"_

Love…?

"_You caught me already, onee-san, when we first met."_

I think I—

"_No, I meant… you caught my heart."_

—might be in love—

"… _Please, onee-san, don't come any closer…!"_

—with an enemy.

"_Do you even know where I came from, how I got here, what I'm doing here, and who I am?"_

I love you.

"_Onee-san – what are you doing…!"_

I love you.

"_Don't be like this…" _

I love you.

"_It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts—"_

Pain._  
_

_The entire thing. She could see it._

Pain._  
_

_She could see how those bastards tied her up and touched her; she could see them ripping away her clothes, and she could hear her screaming, begging for them to stop, but they simply laughed, ignored, and continued. No matter how hard she struggled, how hard she protested, how hard she cried, they didn't stop._

"_Please stop it…!"_

_Death? Not even close. _

_Exposed—_

"Vanille…" Lightning's eyes moved rapidly under her lids.

—_raped._

_The men hit her when she disobeyed – they didn't give a shit. She could see her giving up—_

"_I let them do it."_

—_in exchange for her friends' lives, she was giving up, and – those sick bastards – they forcefully pushed her legs apart, and then they—_

"Don't…!" Lightning wanted to kill them. She clenched – clawed – at the sheets wildly as her feet kicked at the end of the bed.

_Vanille closed her eyes. The tears rolled freely down her cheeks._

…

You love her, don't you?

"_Oneeeeee-san!" Vanille sang happily. She spun around, revealing a beaming smile that spread from one ear to the other._

What is it?

_She ran up to her and threw her arms around the woman's neck. Tiptoeing, Vanille whispered into her ear, "Do you like me?"_

You love her, don't you?

_Smile._

With all my heart.

"_Onee-san…" _

Tears streamed down her face. The droplets soaked into the fabric of the soft pillow she was sleeping on.

_Vanille was on the ground. Naked. Ruined. Sullied. She was a doll – a filthy, disgusting, tainted doll – touched by liars and murderers. Scars and bruises were left all over her body. Sweat and blood and cum and—_

"… _would you still want someone this dirty to stay with you…? To… to hold you…?"_

Her head was spinning madly. She couldn't breathe – she had never felt this horrible in her life. It was almost like she was trapped in a void, floating in nothingness – in a pitch-black dimension, and the only thing she could see was the one thing she did _not _want to see.

"_Onee-san… please don't look at me…" The broken doll cried weakly._

_They were back. The men took hold of her arms again, tying them up, binding her down, leaving her completely helpless, weak—_

"_Please, stop…! Don't look at me…!"_

Her lungs burned in her ribcage. She could see it – she could see everything—

_Move. Help her. Move. Help her. MOVE. _

_Their hands were all over her delicate body – feeling, touching, violating. _

_HELP HER._

"… _onee-san, don't…!"_

I can't move I can't move I can't move I CAN'T MOVE—

_One of them held onto her hips firmly, locking her in place, and then he smirked. Briefly, even just for a second, Lightning could see that repulsive stare he gave her. He was mocking her, because there wasn't a thing she could do – she was pathetic. He smirked. Disgusting. He thrust forward—_

"Vanille!"

—_Vanille screamed in terror._

…

You love her, don't you?

…

Lightning's upper body sprung up in an instant. Where was she? Plain darkness. It was suffocating in here. What was going on?

"_Don't look at me!"_

Vanille.

"Vanille!" She had to help her, she had to help her now – Vanille was hurting, she was crying… "Don't touch her…" Lightning got off the bed and stood up clumsily. She had forgotten how weak her current state was, so when her jelly-legs were about to give in, Lightning quickly stumbled across the room to the door before she tumbled over. She ran out of the room, not giving a damn about her blurry vision, aching lungs, burning headache, sore body, and the darkness that surrounded her. Hell, she didn't even care where she was; all she knew was that she needed to find Vanille right now. Lightning made her way across the hallway, to the only source of light – which was peaking underneath the closed door of, she recognized, the bathroom.

"_I don't want you to see me like this…!"_

"_Go away!"_

"_Don't look!"_

Screams.

All Lightning could hear were her screams – so those bastards must be torturing her inside. They were _here_, there were hurting her. Desperate, the soldier burst into the room, eyes searching frantically for the girl.

_What was that? _Vanille thought she heard something. Pulling the curtains back slightly, she poked her head out. Sure enough, through the steam of the room, she found Lightning leaning on the sink with one hand, head sunk low, looking lost and out of breath. "Onee-san…?" She called.

Lightning's head snapped towards her, revealing the flushed cheeks and that anxious expression.

"W-what's wrong…?" Still somewhat shocked, the girl didn't know what else to say. It wasn't like her at all to just come in without permission like that…

The soldier didn't make a sound. She ignored the uncomfortable and heavy feelings within, and stood up straight before making her way towards the girl in the shower.

"… Onee-san, what are you doing…?" Vanille couldn't help it but to feel some sort of hostility from her, just like that time in the alley. _Was she going to hurt her again? _But… but this was what she wanted this morning, right? _Yes – no?_ Yes. She wanted this, she wanted Lightning since this morning, but… right now, at this moment, she felt as though she wasn't ready again. She couldn't do this – there was no way. The girl backed up until she couldn't go any further, and she watched as the woman's silhouette behind the curtain approach – the figure getting bigger and bigger—

Lightning drew back the curtains completely, and she stared at the girl. She observed her from head to toe; thankfully, there were no bruises nor was there any blood, but the running water washing over the faint scars that the girl gave herself reminded the soldier of the day she almost hurt Vanille like those men did.

_Unacceptable._

Vanille swallowed. This was getting embarrassing. While Lightning was at least wearing her sleeping attire, she was naked and exposed to her. With subtlety, Vanille moved her arms up to cover herself. This _was _Lightning's first time seeing her completely uncovered, after all. Was the woman's fever getting to her? Why was she suddenly like this…? "O-onee-san… you s-shouldn't be out of bed…" The girl stuttered.

Lightning stayed quiet.

_Vanille is fine._

Vanille was fine, she tried to convince herself, but a part of her didn't believe it. Unnecessary explanations were not needed. Lightning stepped into the shower, completely neglecting the fact that she still had clothes on, and let the water from the showerhead soak her from head to toe. She didn't mind the feeling of wet clothes sticking on her skin; Lightning only wanted to hold the girl – that was all that mattered.

Vanille gasped when the woman's arms circled around her. She was stunned for a second, but when she felt the soldier shaking unstably, she returned the embrace. Was… was Lightning crying?

Buried in the crook of her neck, she tried not to let those vivid – _violent – _images of her being tortured get to her. She tried to swallow them down, she tried not to think about it, but her screams—

"_Stop stop stop stop—"_

_No. Nothing could hurt her._

Lightning would never allow it. "You're here…" She said softly.

The girl heard her. "Of course I am…" She answered. "Onee-san, y-you're going to get even more sick at this rate—"

"I had a dream."

Vanille paused. "Dream…?"

"You…" Lightning breathed. She closed her eyes to prevent the water from running into them.

_Remind her of the PSICOM? _

_No._

No. She had to lie. "You… you went out… and never came back…"

"I… wha…?" First, _'I missed you'_ and now _this_? What strange things a fever could do to Lightning Farron. Vanille giggled. "Onee-san, I'm not going anywhere."

_You don't understand._

Lightning didn't talk; she continued to hug the girl, afraid that she might actually get taken away. "Vanille…"

She turned to kiss the woman on the cheek. "I'm here, onee-san,"

Lightning pulled away. Gazing at the girl through her soaking pink bangs, she leaned in to rest against her forehead.

Vanille could see; the woman's eyes were red and puffy. She had indeed been crying.

She didn't care anymore. It didn't matter if her body ached, nor did it matter if she couldn't breathe; Lightning dropped her eyelids and moved in. Tilting her head to the side, she captured the girl's lips fully, gently caressing the lower flesh with her teeth, almost as if pleading Vanille to part them.

Vanille closed her eyes as well and obliged to Lightning's silent request. Right away, she felt the woman's warm muscle meeting her own – the temperature matching the water's that was hitting her head and trickling down her naked body. Vanille moved her elbows up to rest on Lightning's shoulders; her hands pulling her head close to deepen the kiss.

Her head was pounding; she was on the verge of passing out, and she knew she couldn't go too far – actually, she wasn't even planning on doing _anything _more, she only kissed her because she wanted to.

Vanille looked into the soldier's dreary eyes, and was reminded that she was still sick. Moving a hand up to cup the woman's cheek, her other hand brushed away the wet pink bangs that covered her brilliant azure eyes, only to have them drop back down again thanks to the shower. Vanille smiled. It was so cute of her to get so worked up just because she wanted to see her. Lightning was so much like a kid. "Let's get dried up, okay?" She said.

Lightning simply moved and returned to the embrace they were locked in moments ago.

* * *

"It took me a lot of effort to change you into your pyjamas, you know?" Vanille jokingly said as she helped dry the woman's hair with a towel. "Good thing you were able to do it on your own this time,"

Lightning didn't respond. She was sitting cross-legged on the bed, directly in front of the girl, head down.

She sighed. "Onee-san… can you let go of me? It's really hard to dry your hair with one hand…"

The soldier didn't listen. As a matter of fact, upon hearing that, she tightened her grasp on the girl's hand. "Hey," She muttered.

"… Yes?"

Lightning raised her head, finally looking Vanille in the eye. The white towel draping on her head slipped and hung over her neck. There was a strange moment of silence as the girl waited for her to continue, and Lightning herself didn't really know what she wanted to say. She moved closer to Vanille, resting her forehead on the latter's shoulder.

"Onee… san…?"

"When I get better," Started she all of a sudden.

"…"

"Let's get out of here."

She blinked. What did she just…? "Onee-san, sorry, what did you say?"

Lightning pulled away to smile.

_Grow up faster. Don't show any weakness. Don't let her see. Don't let her know._

"Vacation." She stated, "Let's go on a vacation together."

"Eh…?" It was incredibly difficult to take her seriously. After all, Vanille had no idea whether she was saying this because she really meant it or it was because of the fever.

"Tell me," Lightning said, leaning back into the girl, this time resting in her bosom, "Where would you like to go?"

The moment she moved in, Vanille felt a warm pinkness creeping up her neck, to her cheeks. Lightning was being… strangely _needy_ – not that she disliked this, of course. Having the stoic soldier behave like a puppy every once in a while was a cute thing. Vanille's slender fingers combed through the strawberry-blonde's damp hair as she thought of an answer. "Hmm…" She hummed, "Asking me like that suddenly, I don't really know. Actually, I don't know any place here on Cocoon, so…"

She closed her eyes, indulging herself into the girl's warm touch. "What would you like to see?" She tried again.

"See…?" Vanille repeated. Now, that was easy. She wanted to see her friends, her home, and her world. But how she could possibly wish to see such things that no longer existed? Maybe the less significant things would work. "I… I want to see trees, flowers, waterfalls, and… well, just a pretty, nature scenery."

"Nature?"

"Yep!"

"…" She tried to picture the things that were said. Then, it hit her. "Was… Pulse like that?"

Vanille didn't reply right away. Instead, she looked down at the woman with wonder, surprised that she was able to guess so accurately. Her dry throat ached when she swallowed. "Mm…" the girl nodded, "A lot of places were like that on Gran Pulse."

Lightning breathed into the girl's shirt, taking in her sweet scent. "You miss it, don't you?"

She smiled. Her fingers continued to run through the soldier's hair. "I'd be lying if I said no." Vanille mused. "But I like it here, too. I like any place as long as onee-san is around,"

Lightning smirked. Why did she have the feeling that Vanille was going to say that since the beginning? "What do you miss about Pulse?"

Vanille chuckled. "You're uncharacteristically talkative when you're sick, aren't you? Just like when you're drunk." By now, she was practically cuddling the soldier's head in her arms like she was a baby. It was odd; Vanille had some sort of unexplainable need to protect her, to be with her. It was like she would crumble into pieces of she didn't.

Beneath that bitterness, all there was within Lightning Farron was innocence.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." The soldier said softly.

She shook her head. "No, I've been wanting to tell you for a while now. I just thought you wouldn't want to listen, so I never said anything." When Lightning opened her eyes slightly, Vanille greeted her sight with a smile. "I miss… my friends, mostly. I miss laughing with them, I miss playing pranks with them, I miss talking with them, I miss… being together with all of them." She paused to chuckle, "I could go on forever, onee-san, are you sure you want to listen?"

Lightning simply stared at the beautiful girl above. "I want to know more of you."

Her expression softened. "More of me?" She laughed.

"Everything." The soldier said more specifically. "Even if I know it already, tell me everything."

Vanille could only smile. "Well…" She looked up at the ceiling and tried to recall _everything. _"I grew up at an orphanage. There were kids everywhere, all the time. One of my friends, my closest one, Fang, she told me that all the boys there had a crush on me, but I never believed her," she giggled.

"It's believable," Lightning smiled with her eyes closed. She could imagine a miniature Vanille being surrounded by young boys who were offering her flowers and gifts and whatnot. "Did you like any of them back?"

"No, of course not," The girl said, "We all grew up together; everyone was practically family!"

"Hmm? Really?"

"Yeah!" Vanille reassured her. "Are you worried that I might be lying…?"

Snickering, Lightning shook her head lightly. "No," she half-whispered, "It's nothing like that."

"Then… is something bothering you?"

She opened her eyes again. For a moment, neither of them talked, but when Lightning reached up to stroke the girl's cheek, Vanille felt a strange chill run up her spine.

"Onee-san…?"

"Have you…" The woman's fingers traced her lips, "… ever thought about starting your own family?"

_What! _Vanille literally dropped her jaw. "I-I… s-s-start – start…!" The girl was beyond bewildered – why, of course. Who wouldn't be, after hearing that from Lightning?

The soldier broke into a soft laughter. "Neither have I," she stated.

Vanille blushed. Whether Lightning was being serious or not, she had to tell her. "Really, I've never thought about it…" she murmured shyly, "I mean… I'm fine with just the two of us… being together, so…"

"Hey,"

"Y-yeah?"

"I was thinking the same thing,"

"Eh?"

"Just the two of us… that's enough for me." Lightning said, "I don't need anyone else."

She was touched, no doubt. Vanille giggled softly to show her happiness.

Hearing her laughter, the smile on the soldier's face widened. Her hand on Vanille's lips pulled away, and she pointed her pinky finger out. "Vanille,"

"Hmm?"

Lightning sat up; her head was still spinning like mad, but she wanted to get this out of her mind. Kneeling in front of the girl, she looked at her. Their gentle gaze touched and if she wasn't feeling so damn dizzy right now, she would try to kiss her again. "Grow…" Lightning swallowed down her unwanted hesitation, "… grow old with me."

Vanille blinked. She knew what she meant by that, but… she couldn't be sure…

Lightning figured as much. She decided to try again, in a more specific manner. "I… want you to… go through life with me, together."

… Okay, she was sure now. Lightning was _most definitely _more ill than she thought – or maybe _she _was the one who was ill, and was hearing things? Vanille coughed to bring herself back to reality. This was, if not directly, a proposal… was it not? Now, it was the girl's turn to have trouble breathing. Her chest rose and dropped steadily but with speed, and she could feel blood gushing up to her head like gravity was going backwards.

Seeing her astounded expression, Lightning believed that she was wording things correctly this time. She went on, "Don't… freak out…" she said nervously, "This is already hard enough for me…"

Her jaw hung loose. Vanille tried to dig out the appropriate words. "Onee-san, y-you're—"

"I'm sick, but I'm fully aware of what I'm saying," She interrupted. Lightning took her hand and gripped on it gently; throughout all of this, their gaze never broke apart. "I'm sorry I don't have a ring or anything to… to bind this moment, nor can I do anything to prove… _anything_, but I just want you to know that I…"

She could hear her heartbeat hammering against her chest. The sound was probably thundering in the room, but she didn't care; Vanille wanted to listen on.

"… I would _kill _anyone who tries to take your position in my life."

"…"

Silence.

"…"

_Chortle. _

"…"

Yes, Vanille chortled. She thought she was going to break into tears or something, but no, she _chortled._ Then, she finally reached to loop her pinky over Lightning's, ultimately sealing the 'promise' – if it was appropriate to call it that. "Do you think I'd let people take this 'position' away from me that easily, onee-san?"

She huffed with amusement.

Likewise, Vanille heaved a sigh of relief. This time, she leaned in to rest on Lightning's shoulder. Comfortable, she started, "I don't need rings or anything."

The woman smiled tenderly as she held her close.

Vanille went on, "But… I _do _want to hear three words from you."

Lightning choked.

She pulled back to grin gingerly at the woman. "Just three!"

"Uhh…"

"Come on, you've said cheesier things! What's wrong with three little words?"

Looking to the corner of the room, she quickly thought of an excuse. "I… only say it when I think it's special, don't you remember?"

The girl sulked. "You're proposing to me right now, isn't that special?"

Lightning frowned. "Can I just kiss you?"

"No!" Vanille said, "The engagement 'thing' I want from you is just three words. Three words – and you save a few thousands of gils. Isn't that easy?"

"You said you don't need a ring! So what 'few thousands of gils' do I have to save up…?"

"Onee-san…" She whined, pouting.

"Ugh," Lightning grunted. She moved in to peck the girl lightly on the lips, and then she fell backwards to lie on the bed, pulling the covers over herself along the way. "Okay, there. Good night."

Vanille huffed angrily. "Y-you didn't say anything!"

"It means the same thing," Lightning persisted. "I'm feeling really sick. I should rest."

"No, you're not!" She got on top of the soldier. "And you can't rest yet even if you wanted to; your hair's still wet!" Vanille tried to pull her up, "Come on, come on! Get up!"

"Noooo…" Lightning dragged on her answer – it sounded like she was whining.

"Okay, fine, you don't need to say anything – just let me dry your hair!"

"I'm really tired…"

Vanille grunted. "Onee-san, if you're going to sleep like this, you'll get a massive headache tomorrow morning. Plus, your fever will probably get worse, and then we'll never get to go on the vacation you talked about…"

Lightning instantly sat back up, looking defeated. "Fine." She grumbled. This was no time to be stubborn and childish. She wasn't _dying _to go on a vacation; it was _necessary _to go on one. She had to get well as soon as possible, and then she had to tell Amodar that she wanted a break, and then getting the tickets – all of this would only take two days maximum if she organized well enough—

"So, where are we going to go?" Vanille asked as she grabbed onto the towel that somehow fell off the bed through their silly struggling.

The soldier closed her eyes and smiled. "You'll see."

She liked to play mysterious – and Vanille didn't mind that at all. Actually, she found that rather amusing; and it wasn't like she didn't like surprises – they were pleasant, after all. At least, most of the time they were. She loosened up. "Well, as long as you're there, it doesn't matter where we go," Vanille said happily.

* * *

Normally, there would be no way Lightning would agree to this, but she was in a hurry to recover; the PSICOM was coming in less than five days, and although her fever had gone down, somehow, her head still spun madly every time she tried to move too quickly. The girl told her it was because she wouldn't dry her hair before she went to sleep, but Lightning believed that it was because of her fear of the impending danger. It was getting more than stressful; she wanted to leave Bodhum as soon as possible, but there was no way she could convince Vanille to leave with her at her current state. In the end, she agreed to go to the doctor's – just for a check-up and to pick up any medication if needed.

"I have no idea how I talked you into this, onee-san." Vanille said proudly as they walked, "But it seems to me like you're really afraid of going to the doctor!"

She sighed. _Excuse… excuse… excuse… _"I… haven't gone to one since I was a kid. Since I was seven, actually."

"Oh, so… you don't get sick often? Or is it because you're _actually _afraid of the doctor?" Vanille teased.

Lightning growled lowly. "I honestly can't remember the last time I got sick."

The girl grinned. "Okay, okay, I get it. What amuses me, though, is that you're still bringing your gunblade out – you usually don't do it when you're not on duty, let alone day-offs, so why—"

"Out of habit," She lied. It was obvious that she was paranoid about attackers, early arrivals of the PSICOM, or whatever; bringing her weapon out here was only done out of safety. "It's either that, or my headache's getting to me. When we were heading out, I thought I was going to work, so I just grabbed it."

Vanille nodded in understanding, giggling softly at her lover's silliness.

Lightning let out a breath of relief – she wasn't that bad of a liar, the soldier decided. Why did Vanille say that she was before? "Come on, let's get this over with." She urged the girl to walk faster by pulling onto her hand, "I want to go home and sleep."

She smiled smugly. "Always in a hurry aren't you?" Vanille looped her arm around Lightning's to stand closer to her. "We're already walking through the emptiest route!"

"Emptiest? More like the _longest_. Why go all the way around when we can go through? I don't understand why we couldn't just go through the market."

Vanille sulked. "At this time? It's well into the afternoon, and you were the one who told me that it'd be filled with people. I wouldn't want them bumping into you, knocking you out, y'know? It'd be hard for me to carry you home…"

"Oh, come on, I'm not made of toothpicks; it's not like I'm going to collapse simply from getting bumped by people…"

She frowned, their pace never changing. "That's not the point, onee-san. Of course you're not going to collapse by bumping against others; I'm more concerned with the noise. Loud noises can build up headaches, right?"

Lightning rolled her eyes. _Fine. _She gave in; Vanille was right.

But… yeah, perhaps taking this route was the right choice. Walking quietly together felt nice, the woman thought. The weather was nice – there was a blue sky, a few clouds, and the bright sun above their heads; it made the air smell fresh. The scenery was also pleasant. They were strolling along the path a few feet above the sea, so they could smell the salty seawater and hear the gentle tides that hit the wall below.

"Too bad it's high tide today. People have no beach to play on." Vanille said, breaking the silence.

She was thinking exactly the same thing. "They can always go on the west side," Lightning commented. "Just that it'd be more crowded."

"Hmm, come to think of it, onee-san, we've never gone to the beach together before."

She arched a brow. Looking down at the shorter girl, she talked back, "Do you not remember that night…? You fell asleep there…"

Vanille laughed. "No, silly, I mean, like…" She gulped shyly, "G-go to the beach when it's bright… so we can swim in b-bikinis and everything…"

"Oh?" She smirked. "You just want to check me out, don't you?" Lightning teased.

The girl cocked her head up, "I-I…! No! Onee-san…! What are you talking about?" Crap, Lightning saw through her. That was exactly what she wanted. Vanille realized that she was trying futilely to hide her nervousness – it only made her sound more suspicious – not that Lightning didn't know what she was thinking about already.

The woman prolonged her smirk. "Don't be shy… we both know what you want…"

"S-stop it!" She blushed. "You're… you're only teasing me because _you _want to check _me _out!"

Lightning chuckled. "What are you talking about? Why would I need to do that? I've seen all of you already."

Steam was coming out of her head, she could picture it. "Onee-san!" Vanille scolded, "H-how could you say it so… so c-casually…!"

She laughed and walked on. "Don't worry, you have a nice body, and I really like it." Lightning turned around to find Vanille huffing angrily like a child with her arms crossed. The sight was hilarious – adorable, even, and the woman would totally run up and hug her if she didn't fear for her safety. After all, the cute redhead right now looked like she was going to attack her (painlessly) if she approached. Might as well give in, Lightning decided. "Okay, I'm sorry. Should we get going?"

"Hmph!" Vanille looked away and walked forward, pushing past the woman's arm with force.

"Ow, hey!" Before she could say anything more, the girl was already a few feet ahead. Lightning sighed. Well, perhaps she had gone a bit too far, but it wouldn't be hard, comforting her. A kiss or something would definitely work.

About to turn and chase her, Lightning stopped when she spotted a figure coming up from the direction they came from. He was a man for sure, based on his body shape. The soldier couldn't identify who he was, however, but she was certain that she had never seen him before. The man had an afro – that was for sure – he was also wearing an olive-coloured uniform, and, seeing two pistol holsters strapped to his thighs, Lightning knew that he was definitely armed. She couldn't see, but it looked like he had a badge on his shoulder, so he must be working for some sort of organization – it could possibly be the PSICOM.

Her heart was pounding. _Have they arrived already? _Backing up, Lightning observed his actions cautiously as he became even more suspicious to her when he abruptly halted his movements.

Why did he suddenly stop? She quickly came down to two conclusions when she saw that: one, he was tailing them. Two, he was turning away because she looked so damn intimidating. The latter assumption was obviously absurd, so Lightning could only cling onto the first one. For whatever reason he was tailing them for, Lightning didn't care; her top priority was to protect Vanille. She had established that long ago.

No longer feeling her headache (or, at least, ignoring it for now), Lightning turned and ran up to Vanille, who was a good few yards ahead. Finally caught up, she stood close and whispered into her, "Don't ask, just run with me."

"Wha… what?" She was taken back.

Grabbing onto her hand, she dragged her and ran. Lightning knew Vanille could run as fast as she could, so she didn't slow down at all – she ran at full speed.

"O-onee-san, y-you're not supposed to be moving so fast…!"

She ignored her and continued to run.

"Onee-san! Are you listening?" Vanille panted.

Lightning ran off the path that followed the seawall, past the empty field, ignored a couple of stares, and eventually reached a bunch of tall trees. She released the girl and pushed her against one that was large enough to hide their bodies, pinning her against it with her own body to keep her still.

Finally, Vanille was able to ask, "What…" She breathed desperately, "… what are you doing…?"

The soldier took a quick glance behind the tree to see if they were still followed by that man. Her breath heavy, Lightning tried to respond as calmly as possible, "Someone—"

_No._

"…"

_Don't tell her._

She couldn't let her know. "Nothing," Lightning lied, "I just… wanted to find somewhere private so I could kiss you."

_Oh great, nice one._

"Onee… san…" Vanille panted.

But – _what luck – _she actually fell for it. But, of course, how could she not fall for her sweet talk? Lightning completed the lie by pressing her lips against the girl's. She captured her soft flesh completely, savouring the sweet taste of her cherry lip gloss with delight.

Vanille's arms moved up to circle around the woman's waist. They eventually travelled higher up, all the way to the back of her shoulders, and she began to claw at her thin hoodie with excitement. She could feel it – their noses that were nuzzling against each other were covered with a thin layer of sweat, but she didn't mind it; all that she cared about was Lightning's soft tongue dancing with hers inside—

Lightning pulled away abruptly. Her chest was still heaving steadily as she tried to catch her breath. She smiled, as well as she could, caught Vanille's lips briefly one more time, "Stay here, and don't move. I'll be right back," And she ran back towards the way they came from.

It was convenient, really; Lightning mentally noted that she had to thank whoever designed this park. How could there randomly be trees in one spot, and a plain grassy field in another? _The point was, _Lightning reached behind her to the handle of her gunblade – she was thankful for all these trees; they were perfect for cover.

Her hand gripped firmly onto her weapon, Lightning was prepared for him. She knew that he had followed them into these trees. There was no way that she was concerned about losing – no, she never lost. She was incredibly confident in winning, in fact; the only thing that worried her was Vanille showing up. What if that man was with the PSICOM? If she saw him, those memories, voices, _everything _they worked so hard of putting aside would resurface – Lightning did not want that.

"Come out," She said quietly. "I don't want to play games,"

Sure enough, the said man she saw earlier came out of hiding behind a tree. He walked slowly towards the woman. "Whoa, there, nee-chan. Don't shoot, I mean no harm,"

Lightning's brows furrowed; she hated unnecessary gentleness. Swiftly, she drew her weapon out of its holster and pointed it at the man in question. "What do you want?" She demanded.

"Are you…" He raised his empty hands in the air, "… are you affiliated with that girl?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." She replied cockily. "Now tell me who you are, before my finger loses its patience." Her index finger moved closer and closer to the trigger.

"Hey, hey, hey!" He bickered, "I said I mean no harm! I just want to know—"

"Don't make me repeat myself, old man,"

"Nee-chan, I want to help—"

"Shut up." Lightning thrust her weapon higher to aim at the man's forehead.

He jumped. This woman was _not _playing around. "Okay, okay! I'm—"

"Onee-san?"

Both Lightning and the man turned to the voice. _Damn it. _She thought for sure she could drive him away before she saw, but—

"Vanille!"

Surprised, the soldier jerked her head back to the suspicious man. She glared at him – _how did he know her name…? _

Vanille blinked. She was only paying attention to Lightning, but upon hearing her name from a voice that wasn't the soldier's, she looked towards the sound. And when she found the owner of the voice, her eyes widened with delight.

"S-Sazh…!"

* * *

_**Wow, did Asakami just update twice within a week? **_

_**Yes, yes she did. Thank Tokyo's weather, you guys. I've spent the last three days working on this chapter. It's so hot/humid/cloudy/rainy outside, I can't do anything fun **_**ヽ****(`Д´)****ﾉ**_**. PLUS, my parents won't let me turn on the AC 24/7, so I can't game all day at home without feeling uncomfortable. Right now, I'm just being cheap and enjoying the AC and WIFI at a Starbucks in Shibuya. What fun. **_

_**Anyway, thanks for your opinions – I'm glad that all of you like the direction and everything of this fic. Please continue to support L/V! Review pleeeeeeeeeeease :P**_


	17. Revelations

Chapter 17 – Revelations

"_Hn,"_

_A gasp, and the girl opened her eyes. Her sight shrouded by the ominous shadow above, only the word 'fear' was written on her face. _

"_What's with that look, girl?" His commander, standing all high and mighty, asked. _

_Dear god, it was hilarious; that idiot of a girl was glaring at him – as if it would do anything. _

"_Hmm? Trying to be scary now, are we?" He went on, now bending down and grabbing her by the wrist, pulling her up forcefully. "Everybody else is either captured or killed."_

_The girl gritted her teeth, and clenched her fists hard as she glared on._

_His commander snickered. "You really aren't afraid?" He then suddenly feigned a sorrowful voice, pushed her against the wall and pinned her wrists above her head at the same time. "But that doesn't matter. More importantly, I'm tired of this, and I need some entertainment for the night. My __**men **__need some entertainment for the night." With force, he grabbed onto the girl's chin, making her look directly into his eyes._

_Poor girl, he thought; she was just a kid._

"_You're quite attractive, aren't you?" He could hear his commander say, "Bet you miss your friends, hmm?"_

_She was just a kid. Kids shouldn't be treated this way, even if they were 'enemies'. But what could he do? He was only a low-ranking soldier, following orders…_

"_If you look at me nicely, I'll think about sparing those who are still rotting on the battlefield."_

_If he disobeyed in any way, well, it was quite obvious – he'd lose his job. _

"_That's it…"_

_He watched as the girl loosened up. She was giving in._

_The commander laughed. "That's it…" He pulled onto her necklaces, breaking them, and let the beads fall and scatter all over the floor. "Just listen to me and you'll see them again…" He purred as he tugged onto her clothing. By now, she was completely exposed._

_Sigh. This was pathetic to watch. She was just a kid._

"_Come with me. Do everything as I say," His pants fell to the ground, and it was like his men behind him were invisible – it was almost as if he took pride in this. "… and each time you do it with me… I'll spare ten people."_

_Oh? Would you really? Stop bluffing, commander. Along with the rest of the men standing there, he watched. Watching was the only thing he could do, but unlike the others who were cheering and all, he found himself cringing. Funny, why wasn't he laughing at the kid? The stupid Pulsians deserved this, didn't they? He should feel rejoiced. _

"… _Stop… s-stop… please!"_

_The Pulsians took so many of Cocoon's lives, including his wife's._

"_No… please stop—!"_

_And nearly his son's, too._

_Her moans and screams were all that could be heard. Yes, as if it wasn't obvious enough that his commander was having fun, he made the mistake of looking at the violent scene. And, wow, just look at his filthy face – it was painted with a devilish grin, and then there were those shameless eyes that were glued onto the Pulsian's naked body._

_It seemed like everyone else wanted to join in; they were just waiting for their commander to invite them._

_Sigh. Would he join if he really did invite them? Would he screw the brains out of this girl, much like what the commander was doing right now? Would that make him feel better, would that act as some sort of revenge…?_

"_Resisting, are you?"_

_He watched on._

"_Please stop…! I can't… I can't…" The girl panted heavily, painfully._

_There was a brief pause. And then – "Bring them in. tie them down, make them watch me fuck her, and then deal with their pathetic lives." Oh shit. His commander was getting pissed off now._

_She gasped. "No… please, no! I-I'll listen to you, so please… just don't… please don't hurt them!"_

_He smirked. Grasping her chin roughly, he forced her to look him in the eye. "But you got me angry. I don't want to play with you anymore…"_

_The girl looked scared, shitless. How did she still manage to talk? "I-I… I'll do anything… just please, don't hurt them…" Her voice came out weakly._

"_Oh, desperate, aren't we? If you like this so much," The commander turned his head to his men, "I'll have all of my friends over there play with you. And if they tell me that you're actually a fun person, then you can come and talk to me again."_

_He had to give it to his commander; this was a sick but creative form of torture. Words alone could not describe the look on the girl's face as her eyes made contact with each and every one of those bastards'. _

_Finally, the commander released the kid, and without support, she immediately collapsed onto the ground. "No need to play nice, boys," He said as he pulled up his pants, "You've been working hard, so I'm giving you the order to party hard while you have the chance to."_

_Those guys behaved like horny, obscene dogs. They pounced onto the kid like she was the last bitch alive in this galaxy, and then they tore at her. Seemed fun, he thought, maybe he ought to join. _

"_Corporal Katzroy,"_

_Oh wait, no. He couldn't. "Sir!" He answered to his commander with respect._

"_Unfortunately for you, partying will have to wait."_

_He couldn't really hear him. The kid's screams were piercing through his ears. _

"_I need you to run an errand for me…"_

_Blah, blah, blah… something to do with reporting back to headquarters. Whatever. He was too focused at the sight before him to pay attention. Like, who wouldn't look at this? The girl was being held down by multiple men; this was a real-life torture scene taken directly from an R-rated movie. The soldier's filthy hands roamed all over her body… touching… abusing… penetrating—_

"… _and if you're that interested in the girl, corporal,"_

_He raised his head to look at his commander._

"… _Then we can take her with us." His superior said with a whisper, not wanting to ruin such a 'surprise' for his men. "For… you know, 'military purposes'."_

"_Hn," He faked a chuckle. Right, now the superior was pushing this 'desire' on him. _

_The commander shrugged his shoulders. "I'm just saying. You seemed like you really wanted to have a taste of her. I saw the look in your eyes, corporal." His voice was blending in with the girl's screams; it was really hard to listen to his voice alone. _

_He smirked. Yeah, sure, just blame everything on the lower-ranks. 'Kidnap the girl because my men wants to have fun with her' – some bullshit like that. It was actually funny, to be honest; sometimes, his commander's dark humour amused him. Just sometimes, though. _

"_Military purposes, huh?"_

_This time was one of those times that didn't. In fact, he felt sick to the stomach after he heard such a suggestion. "Whatever you say, commander. I'm just a soldier who's working under you."_

_But even so, what could he have possibly done? Help the girl, right then and there? No way._

* * *

"_Katzroy! So you're interested in this too, huh?" The soldier laughed. He just got out of the prisoners' cells, but was still in the process of buckling up his belt – it was easy to tell that he had fun. "I gotta tell you, that Pulsian whore was pretty damn good."_

_No expression. "Whore? Isn't she just a kid?"_

"_Well," He shrugged, "Whores, kids, dead bodies… all Pulsian women are the same to me." The soldier walked by him. "Regardless, it's your turn. Go in and have some fun. She sounds pretty cute when you go at her from the back." _

_The back, huh? _

_With that final 'advice', the soldier left the room proudly – almost too proudly for his own good._

_Pft. 'The back', he said. As if he needed any advice. Today, he was here to torment that girl in every way possible. He was going to do it far more roughly, far more violently than any other soldier that had walked out of here. He was going to make that Pulsian pay, in place of those who took his wife away, for all the pain that he had to go through. All the anger and frustration he had stomached to this date, he was going to let it all out on that stupid whore. _

_The man slipped his ID card into the reader, opening the prisoner's chamber. It was kind of ironic – prisoners were kept in the same room with dead bodies; they were just separated by gates. That, and the lights were dim as hell. Not to mention the horrid stench of rotting bodies. The idea that 'there was no escape' screamed silently in the room. Who wouldn't go crazy in here?_

_He walked passed cell by cell; individual corpses were trapped behind each gate, and they were all women (figures). He thought that there would at least be some minor sanitizing done even in here; this was downright unbearable. Finally, he reached that one cell which contained a live human being._

…

_Human being? … Right, Pulsians were human beings, and this girl was no exception._

…

_But she definitely didn't look human anymore – she was nothing but a dead body right now. Look, she wasn't even moving. How did those men even get aroused by seeing such a disgusting form? This was repulsive to him. She was covered with bruises, cuts, blood, sweat, and cum. Why would anyone even want to touch this filthy person?_

_No way was he going to fuck her. She looked hideous._

"…"

_Huh, how amusing. She was trying to speak. _

_The kid twitched._

_He watched as she sat up, or at least, tried to. Why was she even trying, though? If he were a prisoner like her, he'd definitely play dead. _

"… _You…"_

_She was talking._

"… _you count as well, right…?"_

_He raised a brow._

_She tried to breathe evenly. "Each time… ten people… right?"_

_What? Had she gone mad? What the hell was she saying?_

"_Ten of my friends… you'll let them go, right?"_

_Friends… the Pulsians? Ten of them? Where the hell could the PSICOM find so many? Dead bodies, yeah, maybe, but live ones?_

_Bullshit. The commander was so full of shit. Just to keep this girl, he lied about—_

"_Please…" She begged as she crawled her way to him, "… you promised that you'd let them go…"_

_Bull fucking shit._

_The girl was at his foot. Her nails were probably digging into the leather of his boots – she sure was using a lot of strength just to beg. Why wouldn't she just give up? He remained still, standing there, speechless. What should he say? 'No kid, you've been doing this for nothing. You don't have any friends left – people are just fucking you because you're the only source of entertainment around here.' – was one of the possibilities that he came up with, but instead:_

"_Yeah," His voice projected in a way that was against his will. He spoke softly, "You've saved many of them."_

_A long, sombre pause. And then she smiled._

"…" _Oh lord. This unsightly human being was smiling, and he could only stand there to watch._

"_Th-thank you…"_

_The man clenched his fists. Why the fuck was she thanking someone like him? He was an enemy to her, wasn't he? _

_That weak voice sounded again. "Aren't… aren't you going to do anything…?"_

_His breath became heavy. Yeah, wasn't he here to screw her? What was he doing, standing around, wasting time? _

"_The man before you… he said the better I do it, the more people would be freed. That's true, right?"_

_Ha-ha. That was hilarious. This Pulsian and her naivety…_

"_So I-I'll try—"_

… _this Pulsian…_

"—_to satisfy you…"_

… _was human._

"_No."_

_She was just a child._

"_Eh…?"_

_He shook his head. There was no way he could look the girl in the eye. "Get some rest."_

"_But…"_

"_I'm here to give you permission to rest, and nothing else." Because you won't be getting any once the next man comes in. "So just do as I say. You can't possibly save more of your friends in your current state. The soldiers won't be satisfied."_

"… _I…"_

"_Trust me," He said. "I'll still let the same number of people go if you rest. How's that?"_

_Her eyes brightened up. She was, in no doubt, confused and suspicious. After all, this man was the first to give her such a kind offer. Did he have any motives behind him? This was too good to be true. "Y-you're… not lying, right?"_

_He shook his head. "There are no benefits for me to lie, kid." _

* * *

"_Oh, Corporal Katzroy. Here for the girl again?" _

_He chuckled at his commander. It was safer to behave more clumsily around him, as he didn't want his superior of all people to find out. "Sir!" He stood straight. "Just… y'know, it's been rough today, so I'm kinda craving for it…"_

"_Heh," The commander snickered. "You're lucky your wife is dead, corporal. You can screw as much as you like, without a worry in the world."_

_His teeth clenched on their own accord. Of course, he still faked a smile to cover up any sort of irate expression. "Yeah."_

"_Well then," A sinister grin spread across his cheeks as he left the room, "Have fun. Make her scream." He finished. _

_The door closed behind him._

…

_Wow. When was the last time he wanted to shoot something this badly? He shook away the thought (bear with it, bear with it) and inserted his ID card into the reader, opening the prisoner chamber's door. As usual, he made his way passed the corpses' cells, and to the only one that contained a live human being. _

_Like always, the girl had that thin, torn piece of blanket covering her naked form. She was lying down, shivering – whether from the cold or fear, he didn't want to know – while facing the wall. _

_He sighed. Why was he here again? Why was he even doing this…? It wasn't like he owed her or anything… "Hey, kid." _

_A familiar voice. She sat up and spun around. "Sazh!" The girl was delighted. She would run up to the man if she had the strength, but quite obviously, she didn't. So she stayed on the ground, holding that sad excuse of a 'blanket' in place. _

_He walked over to her and knelt down. Man, had she gotten skinny since the capture. He was surprised that she still had the strength to fuck. Like, they didn't even feed her properly. One or two meals a week, some water once in a while, and that was all she got. "How are you feeling today?" _

_The girl smiled. "Not so good before, but better now, after seeing you."_

_It made him feel so damn guilty. He wasn't a good guy, why was she acting so friendly? Why was __**he **__acting so friendly towards her? _

_Stupid kid._

_He smiled back. Then, he noticed the wounds again; even with the lack of light, it was easy to see. "The big guy that came in before me," He said, gesturing at the entrance behind him, "Has he been hitting you again?"_

_The girl tried to wrap that torn fabric tighter around herself. But it was useless; no matter how hard she tried to cover, the holes of that blanket revealed both fresh and old scars and bruises. "I'm… I'm okay."_

_Liar. "Looks painful to me."_

_She shook her head. "I'm fine, really. I mean, I'm already used to it. He isn't the only one who hits me."_

_Why, of course. The commander wasn't the only violent, alpha-male type of guy on this ship. _

"_But it's okay. Just knowing that I'm saving my friends – anything would be worth it."_

_The muscles at his jaws flexed. Did she really still believe in that bullshit? … But… come to think of it, that 'belief' was probably the only source of hope she was clinging onto in this twisted world. And perhaps that source of hope was the only thing that was keeping her on the edge of sanity. "Risking your life like this…" He said aloud by accident. _

_She looked at the man curiously. _

"… _You're a stupid kid."_

* * *

_Time after time, he found himself coming back to this particular prisoner's cell, for no particular reason at all. He decided that, perhaps, he was losing his mind. _

"_Ne, Sazh," She said one day during his usual visits._

_Arms crossed, he was standing and leaning against a wall. "What is it?"_

_She stared at him silently. And then, "Why are you so nice to me?"_

_A moment of silence. He chuckled. "What do you mean?"_

_She swallowed. "I mean, you're… different from the other people. You're not here to, y'know. You're just here to talk – like a friend."_

_He scratched the back of his head. 'Friend', huh? That was a weird way of putting it. And, wow, was this a difficult question, because he'd been wondering the same thing for a while now – just that he had never used the will to think it through, to figure it out. "Hm, beats me." _

_The girl pouted. "… There has to be a reason for everything."_

_He laughed. "Well, kid, let's just say that I'm a nice guy, alright?"_

_She wasn't satisfied with the answer, but she laughed anyway._

"_Or…" The man suddenly cut in; even he wasn't so sure why he did, "… I guess it's because you remind me of my kid."_

_A grin spread across her cheeks, from ear to ear. "__You have a daughter?" _  


"_A son," He corrected._

"_Oh," She said. "Then he's pretty lucky to have a father like you. Is he the same age as me or something?"_

_The man shook his head, chuckling again. "Nah… he's five." _

"… _W-what… then how does he remind you of me…?"_

_Shrugging his shoulders, he laughed at the girl's confusion. "It's the fact that you're both kids, I guess…" _

… _And the fact that you both try so hard to achieve something that doesn't exist anymore. _

* * *

"_Kid," He whispered as he shook her in her sleep. The poor girl was curled up in a ball, sitting at the corner of the cell. Coming here at this time was strictly prohibited, that was why he had to keep quiet._

"…" _She wasn't sleeping. When his hand came in contact with her shoulder, she started to shake, unstoppably in fear._

_What a development; the girl couldn't even respond properly anymore. That, and she looked dangerously slender compared to when she was first captured. It was a given, of course – considering the amount of food she intakes – one or two meals a week, and some water occasionally… and then there were all those tortures that happened during the most abrupt of times. Often, a group of three would come in and do it all at once – rarely did the soldiers come in alone. Apparently, he heard, the 'more people, the more intense'. To put it in a more cruel yet precise explanation, this girl probably had at least five 'customers' to pleasure per day. _

"_I…"_

_She suddenly spoke up. The man wanted to hold her up, but it looked like she would fall apart if anyone touched her. So he pulled his hand away and stayed still._

"_I… I can't do this anymore…"_

"…"

_She clenched her fists, "Sazh… I want to die."_

_From his angle, he couldn't see, but he was very sure that the girl was crying. Endless streams of tears were probably running down her cheeks. _

"_It hurts so much… every time…" She held onto her stomach, pressing onto it as if she wanted to prevent blood from running out of a wound. "I can't help them anymore, I really can't…"_

_Losing her purpose in life. About time, wasn't it? But it wasn't like that purpose was 'real' to begin with; he should've told her, so that she wouldn't dwell in her dumb, hope-driven fantasy. "Die is a powerful word." He stated randomly. _

"_I'd rather die than to do this again!" She suddenly cried, too weak to make it sound angry. "I don't want to help them anymore, don't you understand!"_

_Of course, of course he understood. "Then run away," He simply said._

_The girl looked up. The wet trails of tears gleamed under the dim lights of the prisoners' chamber. "Run…?"_

_He nodded. "Away from here."_

"_Where can I possibly go…?"_

"_Away from the army."_

_She shook her head, confused. "How…?"_

_With confidence, the corporal smiled and said, "Leave it to me. I can help you."_

_The girl was still unconvinced. "I don't understand…"_

"_What about?"_

_She swallowed. "I'm an enemy…" _

"_And?"_

"… _a-and… my people have hurt and killed so many of yours…"_

_He was still smiling. "Likewise, many of mine have hurt and killed yours. And amongst those people, Vanille, you're one of them."_

_She blinked. An overwhelming feeling of joy and relief washed over her. It was nice to hear that name again – she was getting tired of names like 'slut' or 'bitch'. She sighed. "Sazh… I'm not worth your trouble… doing this might make you lose everything – and what about your son? What would he do without a father?"_

_This time, he shook his head. He moved a hand up to the girl's head. Patting her gently, he answered, "… It is because I'm a father. And as a father, I can't bear to see a kid go through this stuff with my knowing. It's just not right."_

* * *

For whatever reason, they were now in a restaurant. Lightning had insisted to leave, but Vanille insisted that they should 'spend some time with Sazh because he is a good friend'.

Lightning frowned. _'Sazh'_,the man was called. Why the hell was she 'good friends' with _him_? He was with the fucking PSICOM! And why the hell was he affiliated with Vanille, anyway? Just what exactly were this man's motives?

"I'll go line up to order, okay? You two can talk amongst yourselves!" Vanille said happily as she walked off. Her carefreeness successfully prevented her from remembering that her strawberry-blonde girlfriend usually had a natural hostility towards strangers – especially if those strangers were male…

Meanwhile, the middle-aged PSICOM soldier eyed the woman sitting across the table with his own suspicions. It wasn't like a simple _'This is she, and this is he' _introduction done by a third person would make everything okay – no – especially if that third person was the clumsy, airheaded Vanille. This _was_ a cruel reality they were living in – nothing and _nobody _could just trust each other because somebody says it is fine to do so.

The woman decided to make a move; she folded her arms and crossed her leg, sitting even more casually now to… perhaps, provoke the man into saying something.

To which the man definitely would have already done so, if it weren't for the strawberry-blonde icy-cold stare. He had to continuously look elsewhere when he caught those azure eyes; it was like looking at them for too long would have his soul sucked away. But then, a part of him was intrigued by those orbs, and he couldn't help it but to look again and again – which resulted in the same outcome time after time.

Impatient and ultimately feeling uneasy, Lightning was the one to speak up. "Why did you save her?"

He would answer right away, but the question sounded more like a command, so he did not really know how to respond.

She rested her elbows on the table, and then clenched her fingers together. "What do you want from her?"

He shifted his gaze to the woman once more. "You think I saved her because… because of hidden motives?"

Lightning's brows narrowed. "I wouldn't know," She leaned closer to him. "But you're PSICOM, old man. Do you expect me to believe you?"

She had a point, the man admitted, but right now, he needed her to understand, and he needed to understand _her_. "Listen, nee-chan, you heard the girl; I went through the trouble of getting her out of the PSICOM's bloody prison. You don't have to act like I'm going to drag her back in there."

"Hn." A breath of amusement. "Could you not have been planning this from the start? Everyone wants recognition and reward – perhaps you secretly freed her to earn her trust; meanwhile, have the PSICOM freak out over the escape of a prisoner, and that's when you would come in to capture her again using that 'trust'. Typical but logical." The woman said almost cockily. "If I were your superior, I would be very, _very _proud of your work. Hell, I'd even promote you a few ranks for doing something so heroic for the army."

What an arrogant woman she was, Sazh decided in his head. "You don't trust me, huh?"

"Haven't I made it clear enough?"

He shook his head. Despite her daunting persona, this woman's mind had yet to mature fully. "Wipe that grin off your face, nee-chan." He said, "Vanille had to look at something like that every day when she was still a prisoner."

Lightning narrowed her brows. Was this man _ordering _her?

"To be honest, I don't trust you either." Face unnaturally straight, he went on. "I can also say that you're acting kindly to gain her trust. Likewise, I can say that you are using her so that you can gain whatever it is that you want."

Hearing that, the strawberry-blonde broke into a sinister laugh. "Using her?" She paused, "Old man, you've got it all wrong."

"Really, now? How so?" He leaned onto the back of his seat and crossed his arms. "You let an enemy live with you, _knowing _that she is one; you don't question her background any further than what she tells you. Everything goes against the common sense of a soldier – no, sorry – not just a soldier, but also against the common sense of a human being. Seems a bit fishy to me, does it not, nee-chan?"

As the man's posture became lax, her laughter died down to a mere smile. "You're right. Soldier or not, I do agree that I am behaving rather… illogically." Her eyes rolled to the side. She stared out of the window, into the streets momentarily. "… I would suspect myself, too."

He smirked. It looked like he was winning this argument—

"But everything is out of place," Confidence brimming in her eyes, she looked back at the man, "Only because I love her."

"…"

Lightning continued, "I let her live at my apartment because I don't want her to leave me, I didn't question her any further because I respect her, and first and foremost, I am not using her for anything."

He was speechless.

"Whether you believe it or not, I love her unconditionally, and would do _anything _to prevent the PSICOM from taking her away from me." She lowered her voice, "So don't you dare try anything funny, because I _will _kill you."

A bead of sweat ran down the side of his head. This woman was serious. There was no hesitation in her speech, no funny patterns in her voice. Just confidence. She had to be telling the truth. Well, the other possibility could be that she was an exceptionally brilliant, excellent, _professional _liar – which, he highly doubted. "Okay…" He said softly, giving in to the former possibility. _Love can do wonders, after all. _"I believe you."

Lightning kept still. "I would like to hear your side of the story, now." _And if you tell me that you're in love with her I will fucking murder you_, a voice in her head screamed.

Sazh shook his head, as if unable to respond properly. "I apologize, but simply telling you will not be effective enough; you wouldn't believe me. But just think of it this way, if I really wanted to capture her, I would have gunned you down in the first place, and then dragged her away. I wouldn't waste time here to reason with you."

"Cut the crap," She barked, "I don't have time for bullshit."

"Indeed, you don't." The man dared to say, despite that dangerous look on the woman's face. "I assume that you already know the PSICOM is coming?"

A muscle in her jaw flexed.

"Don't be alarmed; I can't read minds – I merely guessed that you'd know. Your gunblade gave everything away, nee-chan. Only the most skilled soldiers of the Guardian Corps are allowed to use that prototype weapon. Not even the best in the PSICOM can come close to it." He explained calmly. "Anyway, I'll get to the point. You were told, under our knowledge, that the PSICOM is coming next week, correct?"

Lightning's eyes bored into his as she waited for him to continue.

"Well, the truth is, a few of them have already been sent down here."

"Scouts?" She immediately questioned. Her voice got significantly softer.

He nodded. "It was pure luck that I got picked as one of them. So I decided to use this luck to look for Vanille, to warn her that the PSICOM—"

"No, don't do that," She cut in abruptly, "I don't want her to know about them." Lightning went on, "How many were sent down? What are their characteristics? What parts of Bodhum would they most likely be patrolling?" Question after question; she didn't give him a chance to finish. "To think that I'd actually have more time to prepare…" She was getting anxious – enemies in her territory, and she didn't know who they were; how in the world could she protect the girl now?

"Nee-chan, calm down." Sazh said. He looked at Vanille, who was still lining up to order food. "You need to calm down if you want to protect her…"

Her hands balled into fists. "Don't tell me what to do."

"Just hear me out, okay?" He ignored her agitated tone. "Unlike myself, they're not wearing casual uniforms like this," The man gestured at his green jacket. "They could be in ordinary civilian clothing, completely camouflaged into the people around us. I would tell you how they look like, but the thing is, I don't know who they are."

She sulked. "That doesn't help at all."

"More so the reason you should be cautious."

"I never said that I wouldn't be, old man."

He rolled his eyes. This woman was behaving somewhat like a child as she was responding with stubborn jabs and whatnot. "Just… my point is, I don't know what the Sanctum is thinking, but Bodhum is going to turn into another Palumpolum soon. That so-called 'quarantine operation' wasn't because of some disease; it was because Vanille was spotted there, and the PSICOM didn't want Cocoon civilians to know that a Pulsian was roaming freely in their world. With that being said, you have to leave as soon as possible. Book tickets or something, just—"

Lightning sat straight. "It's already been done. I've booked tickets to get out of here, and we're leaving first thing tomorrow morning."

Once again, the man smirked and re-crossed his arms. "Hn, impressive, nee-chan." He glanced over to the redhead again, who was still halfway through the line.

"I don't want your praise. I want you to tell me who you are," She went back on topic; it was still, after all, unclear to her who this man was. He could be a _real _scout. "And why would _you _help an enemy?"

"I already said, you wouldn't believe me if I simply told you the reason."

She frowned. "So you're telling me to just believe that you're a good guy who has fallen from the heavens, and saved Vanille for no reason at all? Tell me you're trying to be funny."

Sazh sulked. Yeah, he probably shouldn't blame her for being so overly-cautious, but he honestly did not know how to explain his reason. "She…" But he had to give it a shot, right? "… She's just a kid…"

A brow arched upwards. Lightning didn't catch him properly. "I beg your pardon?"

… Alright, fine. If she really wanted to know, if she really wanted to get these traumatizing scenes implanted, drilled, and engraved into her brain, then so be it. "The kid thinks that she's doing everything for her friends."

_Huh?_

"She thinks that each time she sleeps with them, a few of her friends would be released." He let out a disappointed chuckle, "Ridiculous, isn't it?"

_"They told me that they'd spare ten of my friends each time I let them…" _Yes… it was ridiculous. She thought so too when Vanille told her that.

"I thought about telling her the truth, but if I did, she would lose it for sure. The thought of saving her friends was the only thing that kept her mind stable when she was locked up. If she lost grip of sanity, then the soldiers would have killed her."

Lightning suddenly felt weak and useless. "… S-she… still believes that she was doing it to save her friends to this date…"

"Yes, she does." Sazh said, "I… don't know what would happen if she found out about the truth."

Lightning closed her eyes. Vivid images of Vanille getting abused came back to haunt her; she could not imagine what the real thing would be like. Cries, screams, and painful pleas… how much more had the girl gone through?

"That's why I saved her, nee-chan." He caught the woman's attention. "I couldn't stand it anymore; to lie to her, and tell her each time that she's doing a great job… that she's saving her friends…" He paused. The man was clearly ashamed of admitting this. "You can call me selfish, but if I saw her like that any longer, I think _I _would have gone insane." The more he thought about it, the guiltier he felt. "I actually thought about ending her life, y'know?"

She looked up.

"… To end her suffering and all." Sazh shrugged his shoulders, "But how could I do it? She was always so happy when she saw me. She would always greet me with that smile… so how could I just kill her? How could I bring myself to kill a kid?"

The woman was still as a statue.

Getting no reaction from her, he sighed. "Not very believable, huh? I told you—"

"No," Lightning suddenly cut him off. "It's believable, just a tad bit absurd."

It was his turn to be stunned.

Her lips arched into a small smile as she stood up. Then again, she falling in love with that cheery redhead was absurd as well, so there really was nothing wrong with absurdity. "You saved her, and I thank you."

_What? _"Wait, nee-chan," Sazh sat straight, "That's it? I only told you that much, and you believe me? There isn't even proof that I'm telling the truth—"

"As long as I believe it, I don't need proof, old man." She interrupted. And then she felt silent for a moment before speaking up again, "I… I thought that I knew everything that has happened to her, but compared to you, I only knew a fraction of it…" Stupid Vanille; she was going to scold her later for not being honest—

He breathed out. "The kid just doesn't want you to worry." Sazh looked over to the line-up once more. "She probably thinks that the less you know, the better it'd be for you."

_Yeah, no_ _doubt. _Vanille was always thinking for others, no matter what. 

"Anyway," The man stood up. "I actually ditched my post to come here. If I don't report back soon, they're going to start wondering."

Lightning didn't expect herself to say this, but she did it anyway. "Leaving so soon? You haven't even talked with her properly yet."

He laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Nah…" Sazh smiled, "… I can't. I still can't look at her directly without feeling guilty." He instantly felt the air get heavy, and then he realized that he said something very misleading— "Oh, don't be mistaken, nee-chan! I didn't do anything to her back then – I'm a married man, and I have a kid!"

"Uh-huh," Lightning wasn't suspecting anything at all; this man was way too stubbornly-honest to do such a thing, anyway.

"Good, you understand." He wiped the sweat off his forehead. "Then I'll be going now. Do take care of her… and yourself—oh!" Sazh cut himself off, "I forgot to mention, the guys sent down here would most likely be patrolling around the least populated areas in town. They think that as an alien, Vanille would be hiding around deserted places. I guess that the concept of 'making friends' never reached their conclusions. So just stay in crowded areas to be safe."

The woman smirked, "I don't need you to tell me that." It was her _very subtle _way of giving thanks.

He returned her smirk with a nod, and casually saluted her before finally leaving the restaurant.

Right after that, Lightning speed-walked over to the redhead and tapped her lightly on the shoulder. "Vanille," She called quietly beside her ear.

"Hm? Onee-san? What are you…" She glanced over at their table, which was now taken over by a group of high school kids, "… where's Sazh?"

"He got a call and had to leave immediately. Seemed urgent."

"What… but I didn't even…"

The soldier took her by the hand, cutting her off. "He said he'll look for you again. Let's go home now."

"H-home…? But I'm next in line, and… and what about the doctor's?"

"We need to pack. I just remembered that I booked train tickets for tomorrow morning."

Vanille wasn't surprised by the suddenness; she was more shocked that Lightning was able to say all of this with a straight face. "T-t-tomorrow morning! Onee-san, since when…!"

"I did everything last night when you were asleep."

"Why!"

"I'm really looking forward to it."

"Y-you… ugh! What about work?"

"I called in as well. My lieutenant is more than happy to let me go on vacation."

She shook her head, clearly lost. "This is happening too quickly, I don't know what to say…!"

Lightning chuckled. "Then don't say anything. Let's just go home and pack, okay?"

She didn't know how to argue with the randomness. "Onee-san, were you always such a last minute person?" Vanille asked as she was dragged out into the street. "You always plan ahead and organize everything you do! How can you mess up this time? Has the fever fried up most of your brain cells?"

Chuckling again, a shrug was followed right after. "Vanille, if my brain cells were fried up, I wouldn't be acting so quickly and cautiously right now." And she meant that literally – not that the girl would know, however.

"F-fine! But can we at least walk slower? You're still sick, and I already told you I don't want you to faint out here. Oh, we shouldn't even be walking in such crowded areas! Let's go somewhere else?"

"No, no, I'll listen to you and walk slower. Let's just take this route…" The soldier sighed. She pulled the girl closer. Indeed, it wouldn't hurt to walk slower; doing that would be more subtle than speed-walking, after all. "But I want you to stay close to me, and don't let go of my hand."

Vanille smiled. "Stop treating me like a little kid."

"I could say the same for you," She countered. "I was feeling fine since this morning. Don't know why you have to be so protective over me."

The girl giggled. "Am I?" It was then she realized that their conversation was going around in loops. She tightened her grip on Lightning's hand as she looked at her. "Well, that's because _you're _behaving like a little kid."

Lightning rolled her eyes, "Please."

And Vanille responded with another giggle.

* * *

_**LOL HI. Please don't be mad! I do feel bad for disappearing for four months, but it's not likely going to happen again… maybe. Oh, and I actually had plans to finish this fic before 13-2's release date, but that's probably not going to happen thanks to ALL THE GAMES THAT ARE COMING OUT. **_

_**Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter. There wasn't much fluff (at all), but that only means that there will be A LOT next chapter :)**_

_**Thanks for all the reviews despite my disappearance by the way, guys! I really, really, REALLY appreciate it! See you sooner than four months this time, haha… D:**_


	18. Truly Eternal

_**A/N: Long read ahead…**_

* * *

Chapter 18 – Truly Eternal

"Mmm."

"… still can't believe you, onee-san. I mean, how can you be so last minute…"

She nodded. "Uh huh, of course."

"… never like this before…"

Lightning wasn't even listening. She blew at the ends of her bangs, making them bounce upwards as she stared with little interest at the redhead's back. Her girly voice was entering one ear, and exiting from the other; everything she said was not going through her head. She sighed. Might as well just make her stop completely since she wasn't listening from the first place. "Okay, I'm sorry, but can you at least let me help you pack?"

"No!"

The woman literally bounced back. _Geez_, she thought; this was only the first time she acted so hastily. Couldn't Vanille forgive her for that, at least? Right now, her punishment was to sit down and 'rest'. Lightning purposely breathed out, loud enough to make the girl turn her head to glare at her.

Eyes narrowed and lips slanted in a half-frown, Vanille held onto her hips as she looked at the soldier 'seriously'. "Is there a problem?"

Lightning bit onto her lower lip to stop herself from chuckling. Honestly, that 'angry' face right now should be better described as 'adorable'. She cleared her throat and leaned back, crossing her legs at the same time to remind herself that she needed to act calm… and it wasn't like Vanille's motherly-behaviour scared her or anything. "No, nothing." Resting an elbow on the desk, "Just that I think you're really cute when you're angry." She finished with a wink.

Vanille's cheeks instantly flushed scarlet; she spun back around to pack, pretending as if she never saw what Lightning just did.

Of course, Lightning couldn't help it but to finally break into that chuckle she was holding in for so long. She stood up soundlessly from her chair and walked over to the girl. Just mere centimetres apart, she closed their distance by wrapping her arms around Vanille's neck, holding her gently.

Startled upon contact, the redhead couldn't say anything; as she tried to figure out what was going on, she felt a warm, soothing breath blow against the back of her neck. The sensation quickly crept to her bare shoulder, and a shiver shot up her spine. Her delicate hands lost the will to grip on to the shirt that she was holding onto, and the light fabric dropped lifelessly back into the pile of clothes where it was picked up from. Vanille's hands disobeyed their owner's mind – it proceeded to travel upwards, to touch that woman's skin… to encourage that woman to do this, because what she really wanted, what she really, really, _really_ liked was when Lightning held her in her arms.

"Not yelling at me anymore?" She whispered into Vanille's ear.

The girl responded by turning herself around and wrapping her arms around the soldier's waist. "Shut up," She said without much threat, "I don't like it when you suddenly do this to me."

Lightning smirked. "It seems to me that you're really enjoying it right now, though."

She looked away. "I… I need to pack…"

"No, leave that for later," The taller woman said. "I want to hug you for a bit longer."

Vanille sighed. "Onee-san, don't you think you're acting a bit strange…?"

"Mmm, strange." Diving into the shorter girl's neck, Lightning nibbled at her most sensitive areas. "You smell good." Her teeth scraped and her tongue tickled at the redhead's skin – it was getting both of them so damn lightheaded.

"S-stop…" _Oh god_… the vibration in the woman's feminine voice was getting her so damn tingly and she could feel her head spinning. Higher and higher Lightning's lips went; Vanille didn't even realize that Lightning had already reached her lips.

As the woman pushed herself into Vanille, she wondered to herself: so, why did this happen so suddenly? Why the sudden clinginess? Well, perhaps it was because the thought just randomly came to her – _never had I felt this much in love – _and then her desires just kicked in. Lightning was accepting and realizing this now – what she felt for this Pulsian was true and genuine; there were no doubts at all. But because she was so sure of that, she did not know what she would do if she lost her. Lightning just _could not _imagine what it would be like without Vanille in her world. The more she thought about it, the more irritating it got. For that reason alone, she would, by no means, allow Vanille to even _know _of the PSICOM from now on.

_This… this wasn't like Lightning at all_,Vanille thought. The soldier was rarely so… well, _weird._ The kiss itself was also unlike usual; everything was just so _not _Lightning-like. Vanille pulled away. It wasn't like she hadn't an idea, though. Leaving her alone with Sazh… Vanille had already expected some sort of revelation of the past – particularly her past. It was inevitable from the start, even if she were present with them. A palm reached up to cup the woman's cheek as she looked into her darkened blue orbs. No matter how much she wanted to escape from reality, she knew that all dreams eventually come to an end.

And this dream was no different.

Vanille smiled. "Onee-san, is there something you want to tell me?"

She took the redhead's hand into her own, encouraging the latter to hold onto her waist once again. "What's suggesting that?"

Vanille bit onto her lower lip. "Just… y'know. You're being strangely affectionate and girly all at once. Shouldn't I find that weird?"

"I thought you liked me better when I'm like this?"

"Well, yeah, but…"

"Or should I revert to my normal self?" She smirked.

Vanille narrowed her eyebrows. "Onee-san, if you're trying to change the subject…"

"Change what subject?"

"That you're hiding something from me!"

"I am?"

"Are you?"

"Are _you_?" Lightning playfully mocked.

"Me _what_!"

"Kiss me."

"Wha—!"

Lightning moved in to catch her lips, deliberately pushing the girl onto the bed. She trapped Vanille down with her weight – all of this was done while their lips were connected. Gently, Lightning caressed Vanille with her teeth to ask for entrance, to which the latter obviously granted without much thought. As Vanille's delicate fingers combed through her pink hair from the back, Lightning's hands moved to the hem of the girl's tank top, slipping herself under to feel her smooth skin.

A soft sigh escaped her when the woman parted briefly to breathe, and Vanille eagerly pulled her back in to resume the kiss. She didn't even know how it ended up like this, but she kind of had an idea why Lightning was suddenly so… clingy. "Ne…" Vanille called, pulling away.

"Hmm?"

She sighed. Ridding the last of her hesitance, Vanille started, getting straight to the point. "Sazh… he told you everything, didn't he?"

Lightning's heart skipped a beat – _oh shit –_ but she quickly recovered. "Told me what?"

Vanille shook her head. "Onee-san… it's okay." She moved in to peck the woman's lips, and then pulled back to look her in the eyes, "I mean, I was expecting it already. So please, don't lie to me."

Naturally, she wanted to continue and play dumb. She wanted to ask her, _what the hell are you taking about? _Prolonging this lie was the most she could do to shield her from her memories. But no, she couldn't do it. Not when the girl was begging her to tell the truth. "I'm sorry." Her heart ached when Vanille smiled weakly in response. "I just didn't want to say anything about them. I… don't want to remind you of them."

The girl shook her head again. "No, onee-san, that's not what I'm worried about."

"…?"

Even though Lightning dropped this subject long ago, Vanille still could not put her mind off of it. "Y-you really don't mind it?"

Her brows furrowed automatically. She knew exactly what Vanille was getting at—

"The fact that I let them do it, every single time, as if I'm really a—"

"I already told you," Lightning said sternly, "You're not."

That wasn't enough to convince her. Vanille looked to the side, too ashamed to meet the woman's gaze.

"Even if you are," She suddenly went on, her voice bringing the girl's eyes back on herself, "I don't care."

"…"

"I love you and I don't care about anything else."

The redhead blinked. "L-love…" Did… _did Lightning just…?_

"And yes," She rolled her eyes. "I just said it, so would you stop thinking so much about the past already?"

"…" It was like, at that moment, her heart gave in to an outburst and a frenzy of excitement. At the same time, Vanille's subconscious went wild; she could feel somebody tickling her insides, pumping all the blood in her upwards, causing her cheeks to burn into a colour that did not belong to the wheel. Her eyes became blurred up as well; she was probably tearing up due to overwhelming-happiness. "Y-you…" She covered her mouth with a hand, which, of course, was shaking from disbelief. That was it, she had lost it.

Lightning was freaking out. _W-why was she crying? Was it something she said?_ Okay, _of course _it was something she said, but what the hell could it be? _Oh,_ maybe she didn't say it sincerely enough? Was that it? Lightning cleared her throat to ease away this feeling; she could remember the last time she'd been this freaked out – and that was when Serah threatened to drop out of school to marry Snow, all because she was not returning home earlier. "Uh… um…" The mighty sergeant stuttered awkwardly. Perhaps she should reword it? _Yes, she should definitely do that. _"V-Vanille…" Lightning gulped. Her dry throat doubled the amount of nervousness that was rushing through her body. "What I mean is…"

Her heart was beating, pounding, _thundering _against her chest. She couldn't breathe anymore.

"… I lo…" She sulked, "… I-I… lov…" _God damn it, why is this so freaking hard! _"… I…" She said it moments before, _so why couldn't she say it now!_

The soldier was struggling, desperately. And it was probably the cutest thing in the world to watch. At least to Vanille it was. As Lightning's voice became increasingly weak and uneven, the tickling feeling intensified.

Lightning clenched her fists. She was going to do this, _in one go_. "Vanille," She said as she looked straight in her emerald orbs, "I love y—"

_Ring, ring _

"…"

The interrupted soldier literally dropped her jaw. She said it. She could swear; she _freaking _said it. The fucking loud-ass ringtone just _had_ to just wipe out her voice at the most crucial moment. Wasn't that the most _hilarious _thing in the world? Lightning's mind shouted out all the curse words she knew in alphabetical order, because she was so pissed off, she could probably lift up Cocoon on her own—

_Ring, ring_

The annoying sound brought her back from her anger, and it was then the woman realized that she was still staring straight into Vanille's eyes. For a brief second, Lightning felt embarrassed to be doing such a thing. Yes, _embarrassed_. She felt like a little girl, avoiding her crush due to a fail confession (literally). And _damn that stupid phone_!

_Ring, ring_

Of all times, why would you ring now? Who the hell was calling!

_Ring, ring _

"Onee-san… t-the phone …" Vanille said quietly. She would go get it herself (not that she wanted to, as they were locked in such a loving, tender, wonderful moment), but she was still pinned down by Lightning's body.

_Ring, ring_

She bit onto her lower lip. "Yeah… I'll go get it." Initially, Lightning wanted to suggest ignoring it, but her shyness got the better of her. She got off Vanille, immediately running out the room.

_Ring, ring. _

_Ring, ring. _

_Ring—_

Vanille's heart seemed to thump with the sound of the phone's ringtone (times one thousand beats per ring), and when the sound stopped, she thought time itself had halted as well. _Lightning probably picked it up, _she thought. Obviously still lost in her trance, Vanille sat up slowly while holding onto her chest, and, _wow_, she could actually feel it hitting against herself. This throbbing sensation… it was almost comparable to the night they told each other of their feelings; only, this was probably more intense. Yes, no doubt. This was _far _more intense, but it couldn't be explained. How could it be? Questions _like 'why was it that she felt like she was falling in love all over again?' _had no answers! The more she thought about this, the hotter it got.

… _Hot? _

The girl wiped the sweat off her forehead with the back of her hand. T-this was not right. She wasn't being her natural self, it was way too hot to bear—

Her lower body went numb; she was feeling slightly woozy all of a sudden, and she was shuddering. "What…"

… And then she remembered this feeling. It was the same as the one she felt at the mall two days ago. It was that same, strange, swaying, burning, _sensual, embarrassing _feeling she felt when she imagined herself and the soldier on the bed, doing stuff like—

"…!" Vanille gasped. She could almost see herself turning red.

"… I already said…!"

Lightning's voice could be heard outside. It sounded like she was having an argument or something. Vanille decided that it wouldn't hurt to go out and have a look. _It wasn't like she was going to melt on the spot if she saw the woman_, Vanille thought. So she stood up and headed out the door, down the hall, and into the living room.

_Just a look, nothing else._

Lightning was standing there, talking on the phone with her back against the girl. Not that Vanille was thinking of sick things, but while these strange feelings were still clouded up in her head, she couldn't help but to stare at the strawberry-blonde's elegant body. Lightning still had that baggy, lilac-coloured cardigan on, hiding most of her upper body's slim figure, but at least she was wearing short-shorts; with that, she could see those long, milky-white legs that she always admired and – _by the gods – _wanted to touch—

Holy crap!_ Vanille, what are you thinking about!_

"… no, it's fine, really—" Lightning said to whoever was on the phone.

Meanwhile, Vanille's head was still debating with itself. _Going back on topic, _it wasn't wrong to think about such things, right? Like… Lightning _was _her lover…

"… yeah, I'm leaving tomorrow morning…"

Vanille crossed her arms tightly to stop herself from shaking.

"… of course Vanille is coming with me…"

To feel _this way _towards her…

"… what do you think, I'd leave her?"

… this desire, this… growing warmth inside…

Lightning grunted, "… No Lebreau, we're not coming to the bar tonight…"

To long for her touch _this much_… it wasn't a sin, right…?

"… no, I already said I don't want you guys to come send us off!"

_No more questions. _What Lightning was saying and to whom she was talking to did not matter. The girl wanted this, and she wanted it _now. _

"… Listen, I'll talk to you later, okay? I have to pack…"

She found herself moving towards the taller woman. It was like her legs had minds of their own…

"… Alright, you too—"

She was a few centimetres behind her…

"… Bye."

The moment she hung up, the _second_ she put down that stupid phone, Vanille wrapped her arms around Lightning from behind. Her touch made the woman jump, but she had no intentions of stopping.

"Vanille…?" Lightning started quietly, feeling a weird strength in the girl's arms.

"Don't talk," Vanille brushed her lips across the nape of the soldier's neck.

An expected shock shot up her spine; Lightning bit at the insides of her mouth to stop herself from calling out. But when Vanille slid her soft hand under her shirt to feel her toned stomach, a weak whimper escaped her lips.

Vanille was quite pleased with herself for making Lightning create such a noise; it was always the opposite that happened. Continuing on, the girl moved her hand upwards until she could feel the rough fabric of Lightning's lacy bra. Her lips had already travelled to the crook of the woman's neck, and were already creating red marks here and there; she couldn't stop herself anymore. Eagerly, she turned Lightning around so that she was now facing her, and went on suckling at her white skin.

Lightning, of course, wasn't entirely left out. She mirrored the girl's movements, slipping a hand of her own underneath Vanille's tank top, and reached up _far more viciously _until her fingers came in contact with the latter's bra. She couldn't believe it – _was this her imagination? – _finally, she was able to do this with Vanille. This wasn't one of those flings or one-night stands – everything was true; her feelings, her emotions, _everything._ This girl was Vanille she was touching, it was Vanille who was in her grasp, and it was Vanille who she was going to ravage, ruin, _rape—_ "No…"

The soldier snapped her eyes opened and pulled back, taking a large step away.

Cheeks still dyed crimson, Vanille blinked several times before coming back to senses. A look of confusion filled her face. "What… onee-san…?"

She swallowed hard. It took all of her to avoid eye contact. "No…" Lightning whispered. "We… I-I can't…"

"I don't understand…" Vanille said, fear slowly taking over her expression.

She looked at the redhead sadly; Lightning didn't know how to tell her.

"Is it because… you mind it, after all? That other people have—"

Lightning responded quickly. "No. No, it isn't," _How was she going to explain this?_ "It's nothing like that."

"Then what's wrong…?"

She had to at least _try_. The woman sighed. "Vanille, I… I don't deserve you."

Horrified, Vanille clenched her fists. "Why… why would you say that…?"

Lightning meant what she said, but she had no intentions of breaking up with her or anything. So, she explained on, "You know about me and my tendencies before I met you. I played around with people's hearts; I didn't give a damn about the outcome. I did it to have my own share of fun—"

"Do you see me as one of those people?" The redhead questioned, taking a step forward, closing their gap once again.

"… Never had I once considered to," She said.

Simple enough. "Then you're not doing this with me to have fun. You're not playing with my heart."

"I'm not." Lightning admitted. Her muscles tensed up when the girl rewrapped her arms around her waist. "But I don't know what it's like to do this with someone I care about. I'm scared that it's going to be the same as the others. I'm scared that I'll remind you of them, I'm scared that I won't be able to stop, because—" Images of the day she nearly _killed _Vanille in the alley flashed in her mind. Everything was so clear, it made her feel sick, "—I'm just like the PSICOM, and you can do so much better than me – you can find someone who treats you much better—"

Vanille caught her lips to stop her. She didn't want to hear anymore – nothing else mattered; she just wanted Lightning, and she wanted Lightning to _know_ that she wanted her. Vanille moved back down to the woman's neck, sucking at her white skin the way she did earlier as her hands roamed freely over her slender body. Feeling her curves and smoothness, the girl mentally wished for Lightning to do the same.

"Vanille…" Lightning sighed weakly. She'd be telling the biggest lie if she said that she didn't want or enjoy this; her hands wanted to touch the girl _so badly_, she felt that she would die if she didn't do it soon. Lightning felt that she might even lose control if the girl didn't stop _now._ "Don't… Vanille, I can't—"

"We all have our flaws," She cut her off, her lips brushing against the soldier's collarbone. "But like you, who do not mind my past, I don't mind yours. Onee-san, I want this, with you. Only with you."

The woman looked at her, emotionless. Deep down, she was still debating with herself. _Fucking devour her already_, one side was screaming, and the other side was telling her to restrain herself. The larger part of her was slowly obliging to the former side's words.

_Yes, devour her. Take everything that's yours._

Lightning's lips slanted upwards and Vanille believed it to be a smile, however odd it looked. "You won't regret this?" She cupped the girl's cheek. Her other hand slid to the small of the girl's back, and she pulled her closer abruptly.

Vanille swallowed. The woman's touch was getting dangerously suggestive. But she wasn't afraid; this was what she wanted, after all. "Is there a reason I need to?"

Her smile became more evident. Lightning's fingers tugged at the hem of Vanille's tank top, almost as if she were giving her a precaution that she was going to rip it to shreds in a matter of seconds. "I won't be able to stop,"

The girl could hear her own heart again. The vicious side of her soldier always fascinated her – she had always secretly wanted to see more of this.

"Even if you begged, even if somebody were to call again, I don't think I'd care." Lightning purred.

_Oh god, _now she couldn't breathe.

"I might be just like them. I might hurt you the same way, I might bring back those memories you've hidden away." She combed her fingers through the girl's pigtails, "So I'm going to ask you one more time: are you sure about this?"

"Yes," Vanille breathed. She couldn't feel her feet anymore. "Éclair, I want this more than anything." They probably turned into jelly for all she cared.

The call of her name put her at a loss of words. She didn't know how to put this in a more _serious _manner without sounding stupid. The soldier felt an odd sensation rushing up her neck, to her cheeks; she was probably bright red by now. "So… will you let me have you?"

_Every part of me belongs to you already! _"Y… yes…." Vanille squeaked. "Hurry…"

"Then…" _Gulp._

Her fingers slipped under the redhead's tank top, and, tugging at the hem, she pulled the pink fabric over, leaving Vanille's upper body clad in nothing but a bra. Of course, the redhead's initial reaction was to cross her arms. It did help, to an extent – _help as in, her arms pushed her breasts together, making her cleavage deeper and—_ Lightning shook herself back to reality. When she saw Vanille avoiding eye contact, inner brows arched upwards with concern (anxiety, nervousness, excitement), cheeks red as tomatoes, she didn't know what to say. The strawberry-blonde's shaky fingers gripped onto Vanille's tank top that she was still holding onto; she tried to swallow the little saliva she had left in her mouth as she brought the tank top to cover the lower-half of her face.

"Crap…" Lightning muttered behind the cotton fabric.

Hesitantly, Vanille glimpsed at the soldier, wondering why nothing had happened as of yet. "W-what is it…?"

She tried to wet her lips with her tongue, only to have them dried within a second again due to this nerve-wracking atmosphere. "Can you please calm down…?" She cleared her throat. "Y-you're getting me nervous…"

"Eh…?" The girl blinked. When her green eyes caught the soldier's blue ones, Lightning immediately looked away. _I see, _Vanille thought, _so even the mighty Lightning Farron gets nervous? That's… kind of cute… _

With all seriousness, Lightning actually hadn't a clue what to do. Here she was, finally having the permission, the right, and even the mood to do it, but… where was all the drive? What the hell was with this sudden, _random_ shyness? This was utterly ridiculous. She couldn't lose to herself now!So, taking a deep breath, she improvised, "D-do you want to go back into the room first…? Or would the sofa be alright with you?"

Vanille couldn't think. "A-anywhere is fine…"

"…"

_Oh god – what are you talking about, Vanille! 'Anywhere'? How stupidly open can you possibly be! _"I-I mean! No, not a-anywhere, err, whatever y-you prefer, onee-san…"

She nodded lightly. "Okay," Lightning was acting solely on instincts by now. She lifted the girl's legs and wrapped them around her hips; making her way towards the sofa, she set Vanille down, using the head of it as leverage. "Try to relax."

Vanille's arms tightened around Lightning's neck. The woman's head was already buried in the crook of her neck before she realized it. A small moan went past her parted lips as she arched into that skilful soldier's soft touch and bucked her hips forward, much to her embarrassment. But she didn't stop there; Vanille's hands were making daring moves as they were slithering their way up Lightning's curvy waist, all the way up until they were at her full breasts. Boldly, her hands squeezed them as gently as possible, and right away, a low moan and a warm breath of air tickled her left ear – it was Lightning. She just made _the _Lightning Farron moan, and Vanille had to admit – she was pretty damn proud.

_Sneaky Vanille_, the soldier thought. She smirked and pulled back, just enough so that they could still hold each other close. "You know, for doing that…" The woman watched with excitement as her hands removed the buttons of Vanille's short-shorts, "… I would usually tie _them _up as punishment,"

The girl intended to gasp, but what came out instead was a weak whimper.

"But you're exception." Lightning snickered. Swiftly, she pulled down Vanille's short-shorts and threw them somewhere behind herself. Right now, the redhead was in nothing but a matching set of black bra and panties. Lightning didn't waste any time; she knew that after they leave for tomorrow, she would have all the time in the world to enjoy this, but right now, she just wanted to look at Vanille. The girl was very skinny, yet she had the perfect curves that any woman could ask for. The one thing that bothered Lightning was the scars that remained on the girl's chest – those scars that the girl gave herself. Lightly, the soldier grazed her fingers across those faint lines. Her touch sent shocks through Vanille's senses, making her jump, but Lightning's fingers travelled on. Finally, she placed her palm flat on the girl's abdomen, stopping there. "I would never tie you up." She whispered and then leaned in to kiss her.

If possible, Vanille would find all the words in the English vocabulary to define the emotions that were going through her at this moment. 'Being in love' could not explain these feelings, because from the start, there was no way she could fathom the love she had for Lightning. Just… just being in the woman's arms like this multiplied the word 'love' by a hundred – _thousand_, even. "I love you…" Vanille managed to whisper in between the breaks of their kisses. "Onee-san… I love you so much…" Her legs folded tightly around Lightning at their own accord; Vanille couldn't wait any longer – if she didn't get this _now_, she was going to—

Lightning smirked into the kiss. She could feel Vanille's desire, need, and even her _warmth_. Her fingers responded cleverly to the girl's words, as they were already unstrapping that annoying bra. Meanwhile, Vanille was trying desperately to tug off the cardigan that was getting her so damn sweaty, but Lightning wanted to deal with the girl's clothing first, so she struggled to take control – hence, the two engaged themselves in a silent, barbaric, stripping-battle.

_Beep, beep._

Both breathless, Lightning and Vanille pulled away from their kiss unwillingly and stared at the entrance in horror.

"See, I told you," Serah's voice. "Onee-chan wouldn't delete my fingerprint from the scanner."

"Yeah, well, Light's always soft on the inside, so it was obvious from the start…" Lebreau.

"C'mon! Open the door, this stuff isn't exactly light, y'know?" Gadot.

"Well, you're freaking buff, so it doesn't seem like a problem at all…" Maqui.

"Oh, just – Serah, why are we still standing here?" Snow – _that idiot._

_Oh god oh god oh god— _"… You're joking me." Lightning whispered to herself.

Vanille couldn't even figure out what was going on and the door swung open, and – _what do you know _– she could see the guys at the bar, Serah, and Snow bursting in, with god-knows-what in their hands.

"Nee-san!" The stupid blonde was the first to enter. "We've brought the party to you—" Before he could finish, a hard, red apple had already slammed into his face.

"Oh my god! Snow!"

However unnecessarily violent that was, she just bided herself a few seconds of time. "Go inside," Lightning lifted Vanille from the counter and set her down, shielding her body with her own at the same time. The crew was too distracted with the gigantic body (Snow) that was lying at the entrance, so she could assume that none had noticed what she and Vanille were doing yet…

The girl didn't say a word. She was still struck by the sudden appearance of the crowd, and she was struggling to regain her balance as she picked up her clothes on the ground. With haste, Vanille dashed into the soldier's room.

When she disappeared, Lightning cleared her throat and quickly fixed her hair and clothes. She walked over to the group, arms crossed.

"Onee-chan! Y-you didn't have to do that!" Serah exclaimed as she knelt beside Snow. The apple had knocked him out cold.

"Yes, I did, Serah. Yes I did." That was an understatement. She would have done so much more if she were given the opportunity. But at that moment, she only thought about hiding Vanille, so it couldn't be helped. "Words cannot describe how pissed off I am right now."

_Yep. Her sister was definitely pissed off. _It was easy to tell, especially when she was using such a calm voice. Serah swallowed as she helped her boyfriend up.

"Aw, don't be mad, Light!" Lebreau said cheerfully, she was the next to enter the house after the younger Farron. "We just wanted to throw you and Vanille a party, since you two are leaving tomorrow." The boys followed after her, and they were all holding bags that contained bottles of alcohol. "Drinks are on us tonight – we brought our best from the bar!"

The strawberry-blonde scoffed. "Didn't I say on the phone that I needed to pack?"

Lebreau totally ignored her question. "Where's Vanille, by the way?"

The soldier didn't even bother to answer. She simply stood in silence and watched as Maqui and Yuj enter the house.

"Don't be such a party-pooper, Light!" Gadot said with a grin on his face, one that looked almost identically stupid as Snow's. "You didn't say how long you're going away for, and we're all gonna miss you, so—"

"That still does not mean you can just break into my house." She directed her statement to Serah, who was now laying the passed out Snow on the sofa.

Serah avoided her sister's sharp eyes; she was still too scared to say anything.

"Actually, Light-san, we didn't break into your house…" Yuj put his bags over at the counter, "Serah-san invited us over. She said that you'd be fine with this—"

"Okay, stop!" Serah stood straight up. As if she wasn't dead enough, she needed to shut those guys up before she got into more trouble. "Onee-chan, I-I need to talk to you…!" She walked towards her sister, and, grabbing her by the hand, dragged her down the hallway. Lebreau and the boys didn't bother to question about the sisters' strangeness, however; they settled down and prepared the cups and drinks – as if they were using the place as their bar.

* * *

"…!" Vanille gasped when the strawberry-blondes burst into the room. Good thing she had clothes on now… "S-Serah, hi!" She squeaked.

The younger sibling pulled her sister in and shut the door behind herself. Then, suddenly, "I'm really, really, really sorry!" She bowed, low enough so that her head was at her knees, and her side-ponytail was dangling over the ground.

Lightning raised a brow. "Huh?"

"I…" She tried to bring up the courage to explain, "… I saw…"

The girl's cheeks instantly flushed red. _She saw – she saw me and onee-san…!_

"I-I didn't mean to interrupt you two – Lebreau told me that when she called, you were packing, s-so…! I didn't know that you two w-would actually be…!"

Lightning smirked, her amusement shocking both younger girls in the room. "This isn't your first time walking in on me, Serah. So why are you so worked up this time?"

"B-because!" She stuttered, "Because I actually know Vanille! The other people were different because I didn't know them!"

"Ah," The soldier nodded. "I see."

"So I'm going to say this again…" Serah said quietly, "Vanille, onee-chan, I'm really sorry."

"Huh," Fascinated, Lightning crossed her arms. "And what, Serah Farron, would you do to make up for this? You know when Lebreau called earlier, she also interrupted us?"

"Onee-san!" Vanille scolded. She speed-walked over to the strawberry-blonde and gripped onto the end of her cardigan, "Y-you don't need to be so direct!"

"What? We've been interrupted twice a day, aren't you angry about that?"

"Oh man…" A pang of guilt stabbed her in the gut. Serah shook her head, "That… was also my idea… I told her to call you…" Although she didn't really understand how a phone call could interrupt her sister (Lightning usually ignored the phone when she was at it), she decided to apologize anyway. "I… I don't think saying sorry would do anything… right?"

"No, Serah, it's fine! You don't need to worry—"

"Yes, Serah, saying sorry isn't enough."

Vanille glared at the taller woman. Was she being serious? Or was she just bullying her little sister…? The girl couldn't tell, so she tugged onto her shirt, and scolded again, her voice more solemn than before. "Onee-san, stop it. Serah already apologized."

"Hn." _Fine, _she'll stop. Only because Vanille told her to. "Alright then," Lightning changed the subject easily, "How are we going to deal with the people out there? I suppose kicking them out would work, right?"

"No, don't do that!" Vanille said. "They're here for a farewell-party, aren't they?"

The solider smirked. "Oh, so you could hear everything? Why didn't you come outside?"

"I was… still putting on my clothes…" Her voice became softer as she improvised for an excuse. Truth was, she _couldn't _bring herself to go outside – what if they had all seen her earlier? How could she face them ever again?

As if she could read her mind, "It's okay, Vanille, Snow was blocking the entrance, so there was no way they could see," Serah took the queue to reassure her. "Oh, and Snow couldn't have seen you either – onee-chan threw an apple at him."

"Tch." Lightning rolled her eyes. "I hope I killed him."

Again with her nonchalant attitude. Vanille shook her head. "I'm sorry, Serah. I hope he's okay by now…"

"He'll be fine," She smiled. "This isn't the first time, so I'm not concerned."

"Going back on topic," Lightning cut in, "What the hell are we going to do with those guys?" She threw her thumb over her shoulder, pointing at the closed door, where muffled noises could be heard. It sounded like they were deciding where to put the alcohol.

"Like I said, it's mean if you just kick them out…"

"Vanille, they interrupted us for the second time today."

"… Um, onee-chan, that was actually me…"

_Knock knock_

"Hey, you girls in there?" The raven-haired barmaid opened the door, "Ah, there you are."

"Is it, like," Lightning grunted with annoyance, "In everyone's custom to just interrupt me whenever I'm doing something important?"

"What are you talking about, Light?" The clueless Lebreau asked. "I'm just coming in to tell you that everything's set. We're just waiting for you girls so we can begin."

"Begin what?" Vanille started innocently.

The barmaid looked at the redhead with a cheeky grin. "Oh, just your typical drinking game. Just, come on out! I'm sure Light would love to see your drunken state again."

"E-eh?" She couldn't even reply – Lebreau had already grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her out, leaving the two Farron's standing awkwardly in the room.

When all was silent again, Serah gathered herself to speak up. "Wow,"

The older sister turned to her.

"Onee-chan, you're… not going to do anything?"

She breathed out. "What can I do? Vanille doesn't want me to kick them out."

The answer was so unnaturally _natural_, that Serah wondered if this was her sister she was talking to. So… Lightning was willing to let the crew stay just because Vanille didn't want her to be mean…?

Lightning headed for the door. "They're not staying for long. I'm going to have to kick them out before midnight. And I can't believe we're drinking hard liquor during the afternoon."

The woman was practically talking to herself as Serah was far too shocked to listen. _Boy_, had her apathetic sister softened up. Knowing her, if anyone had touched her property (Vanille) like Lebreau just did, she would have gone crazy and mutilated the said 'anyone'. That didn't happen, however; Lightning didn't show any signs of hostility towards the barmaid – which got Serah thinking – was her sister finally normal again? Did Vanille bring back the sister she had lost from the time before their parents' death?

"Serah,"

The younger sister snapped her head up and looked over to the doorway.

Lightning smiled. She gestured down the hallway, "Let's go."

It took her a second to realize that her sister was smiling at her, and she could swear – if she were a tiny bit more emotional, she would have burst into tears. But she managed to contain herself, of course. So, Serah ran over to her, "Yep, coming!" and looped an arm around her beloved sister's.

"You know, I'm still not happy that you invited them over." The soldier said as they treaded down the hallway slowly.

She sighed. "Well… how about this," Serah suggested, "I'll… clean up after the party? So you can take your time to pack?"

"_You _clean up? Seriously, Serah? You'd probably be the first one done."

"Oh," Snow said, seeing the sisters finally appearing, "There they are." He was pressing an icepack against his nose – getting hit by an apple wasn't exactly pleasant, so to speak – thankfully, he was still alive.

Serah and Lightning walked around the couch. The group was gathered around the oval-shaped glass table in the living room. "Onee-chan, you've never drank with me before, so how can you be so sure?"

"Hm, well, you just look like a real lightweight to me." She replied bluntly.

"Really, now?" Serah released her sister, as she was obviously heading over to where Vanille was at the opposite end of the table. "We share the same blood, onee-chan." She said as she sat down between Snow and Maqui. "If anything, I think you're weaker than I am."

"Uh, I don't know what's going on, but can we just start the game?" Gadot cut in, already holding an empty shot glass and a bottle of vodka.

Lightning made herself comfortable beside Vanille and Yuj. "Whatever. Just go."

"Right, I already told little miss…" The tanned bartender said. "We're playing Spin the Bottle!"

"Oh god." The soldier was not amused. "Are we seriously playing this 'high school' game?"

Gadot grinned. "Yeah, well, it's fun! Okay, so anyway, same rules – spinner asks the question or makes the dare. If the target is unable to complete the dare, cannot say anything about the 'truth', or lies about it, then you'll have to drink – straight up three shots all at once!"

"Yeah, yeah, we know. Let's just start." Yuj said impatiently. He set his shot glass onto the table and grabbed a bottle behind himself. "To make this more fun, everyone, let's start by taking in a shot!"

"Only?"

Everyone turned to Serah – the one person whom they'd least expect to say something so cocky.

"Err… then… Serah-san, how much do you want to start with…?" Maqui asked nervously.

She smirked, and –_ holy crap _– when she did, she resembled so much of Lightning, it was scary. "At least three."

The boys swallowed. Her boyfriend beside her chuckled uneasily; this side of Serah would only show when she was competing…

"Alright, three it is." Lebreau said without hesitation. "Just take away the shot glasses. Get the paper cups – I need to fill three shots at once." She said to Yuj.

The teal-haired boy took out enough cups for everyone and set them in front of the barmaid, who, then, easily poured everyone the same and correct amount.

"Three shots – exactly." She took her own cup and held it up, "Cheers?"

"C-can we get some chase, please…?" Maqui stuttered as he looked into the content in the cup. "This is straight up vodka after all…"

"Shut up and drink it. Cheers!" Gadot exclaimed. He, too, held his cup high. Soon, everyone – including Lightning – did the same. "May NORA Bar become the best bar in all of Bodhum within the end of the year!"

"Lame." The soldier muttered. She quickly chugged down the liquid in her cup. To her, this was nothing, but that wasn't the case for her lightweighted-girlfriend. Placing her cup back onto the table, she turned to Vanille, who also just finished her share. "Are you okay?" She asked, her voice screaming with concern.

"Mmm…" The girl forced the contents down her throat, and then a burning, intense gag-feeling shot back right up. "Egh…"

Lightning rubbed at her back. "If you can't take it…"

"I-I'm fine!"

"Are you sure…?"

"Okay! Everyone done?" Gadot nearly yelled. "Good, I'll spin first!"

"And why do _you _get to do it?"

"Because!" He had already spun it. "Because I can."

The empty bottle rattled against the glass table – everyone watched with anticipation, hoping that it wouldn't point towards them—

"Oh, how convenient." Lightning smirked when the bottle stopped. "Serah."

The bartender grinned. "Okay, Serah, truth or dare?"

"Hmm…" She looked at Snow, and then at Lightning. "I'll go with dare."

Lightning felt a chill in her heart. Why didn't she choose truth? Could it be that she was hiding something she had done with Snow—!

"Right, then." The grin never left Gadot's face. "This one should be easy, although I'm pretty sure I'm going to be killed." He rubbed his hands together. "Serah, I dare you to make out with Vanille for a minute."

"WHAT?"

"What…?"

"Eh…?"

Vanille, Serah, and especially Lightning were in shock. Actually, in the latter's case, it seemed more like she wanted to murder the man.

But he didn't notice – Gadot was a bit tipsy already. "Don't 'what' me, go make out! If not, then freaking drink, Serah!"

She scratched her cheek. "Um…" Yeah, it was true that her sister had softened up, but that did not mean she wouldn't mind if somebody else touched Vanille in _that _way. "Okay, I guess I'll just… drink…" She pushed her cup towards Lebreau, trusting her more in pouring her the amount as she was sober.

"Aw, this is no fun! Already chickening out on the first round?" The tipsy bartender went on rambling.

Lebreau shook her head. "With his alcohol tolerance level, I find it hard to believe that he's a bartender."

"I concur." Yuj and Maqui nodded.

Serah finished the contents in her cup with ease. "So, it's my turn to spin now, right?" She didn't wait for an answer and grabbed the bottle. "Okay, here we go…" It spun again, more slowly this time compared to before, and it stopped at Vanille.

The redhead stared at Serah and blinked innocently, avidly waiting for her to ask the question.

"Vanille, truth or dare?"

"Um…" Seeing how hardcore the last dare was, she chose to be safe. "Truth…?"

Serah's eyes lit up, and so did everyone else's – minus the soldier, that was. "Alright, okay. Vanille," She cleared her throat, "What does onee-chan do, that turns you on?"

Her cheeks were already flaming thanks to the alcohol she took in earlier, so she couldn't possibly blush any deeper. "Wha…" She glimpsed at the soldier beside her. "I…"

"You can choose to drink if you can't answer…" Serah hinted, her tone almost identical to that of her sister's when was teasing.

The redhead clenched her fists. She didn't want to drink another sip – she was already getting beyond dizzy. So, she had no choice but to answer. "I… I like it when onee-san…"

Even Lightning's attention was completely focused on her by now.

"… when onee-san—" _Pretty much everything she does…! _"—I-I think I s-should just drink!"

The boys scoffed in unison, Lebreau and Serah laughed unstoppably, and Lightning frowned. She actually wanted to know the answer… but, maybe she could ask later, when they were alone.

"Okay, Vanille, I went easy on you this time. It's half cooler, so it won't taste as bad."

"Thanks…" The girl said. Indeed, her throat didn't burn when she swallowed down the liquid. She put her cup aside and spun the bottle. "Ah," Vanille looked to the target when it stopped, "Lebreau-san…"

"Meh," The barmaid shrugged. "Dare." She said right away, not even bothering to wait for the question.

"Uh…" Vanille wasn't close with her, so she didn't want to make the dare too extreme – like, it might hurt their friendship or something. "Okay… Lebreau-san, I dare you to…" She looked around herself. The truth questions and the dare they had before all revolved around something risqué, so she decided to follow the trend. "I dare you to kiss a guy of your choice here, on the cheek."

"Oh, Vanille…" Serah covered her mouth as she giggled. "You're so innocent…"

The girl blinked at the mini Farron's comment. "E-eh?"

"Any guy, huh?" The barmaid said. "Easy enough," She bent over the table and grabbed Gadot by the collar to pull him towards herself. With no hesitance, she pecked him on the cheek and then sat back down. "Okay, done!"

"Wow…" Yuj spoke out, "I was so sure that she would pick anybody but him…"

Maqui nodded. "C-could it be that she's getting tipsy as well?"

"I'm not tipsy, you idiots. Let's just move on." The bottle spun again; the rattling noise it made never ceased to bring down the anticipation in the room. "Ha, ha, ha…" The barmaid laughed sinisterly. "Light."

"Dare. Get it over with." The strawberry-blonde relaxed her posture.

"Yes, I knew you'd choose that." Lebreau sneered. Her brown eyes moved to meet the redhead's gaze, and then she cleverly looked back at the soldier. This was a no-brainer – she had planned to do this from the start. She mixed a couple of suspicious-looking bottles together and then poured them in a shaker. Yes, she even brought a shaker from the bar. Finally, after showing off her bartending-skills with all the shaking, she formed an orangey-coloured cup of alcohol. Pouring the bright liquid into a fancy glass cup (which she also brought from the bar), Lebreau pushed it towards her target. "Hope you don't mind that I made the pineapple variation. I was missing orange and cranberry juice, but, yeah, here's your favorite drink."

Lightning glared at the barmaid. "What, you want me to finish this in one gulp?"

"Oh, no, it's never that simple…" She smirked. "I want you," Lebreau looked at Vanille, "To feed the innocent little redhead over here with your mouth."

The redhead in question gasped. "F-feed…? What is that…?"

"It's called 'Sex on the Beach', little girl." Just by hearing that suggestive name, Lebreau could tell that Vanille was embarrassed out of her mind. "Feed her until the glass is empty." She said to Lightning.

The redhead was still in shock. "T-that much…?"

"Calm down, little miss!" Gadot laughed, "It's like kissing, except you share more than tongue—ack!"

It was Serah who hit him on the shoulder lightly. As if it wasn't obvious enough that the poor girl was embarrassed as hell, this guy just had to tease her.

Lightning, on the other hand, was obviously fine with this – even in front of so many people, she was immune to extravagant-openness. "He's right, it's just kissing."

"In f-front of everyone…!"

She ignored her and took her first sip from the glass. Grabbing onto Vanille's shoulders, she pushed her lips against hers and parted her mouth carefully, slowly letting the cocktail flow into her.

At first, Vanille didn't know how to swallow – she thought that she'd forgotten how to. She gripped anxiously onto Lightning's biceps as she tried not to spill the sweet liquids. The soldier understood how hard she was trying and gave her time; slowly, a bit at a time, she pushed the contents into Vanille's mouth. Eventually, the girl was able to relax, and began to take the initiative to suck at Lightning's lips, allowing more of the drink to come out of her. When she had drained the woman of the contents in her mouth, the latter would take another mouthful, ultimately repeating the process.

The rest watched in awe. They were doing it so naturally, it looked as if they were _just_ kissing.

"Lebreau, you sly dog," Snow smirked.

The barmaid bowed sarcastically. "I aim to please."

Serah chuckled. She took out her phone discreetly and aimed the camera lens at the couple. "I'm just going to…" _Snap_. The sound was miraculously quiet, and therefore the two did not notice that a picture was taken.

This was their last round. Lightning knew, and so did Vanille, but both silently did not want this to end. After this 'kiss', they'd had to continue on with the game. Vanille was way too boozed up to care by now – she just wanted to kiss her soldier. She realized that the liquids were long drained away, but their tongues continued to dance in each other's mouths. A delicate hand move up to cup the back of the strawberry-blonde's head, in doing so, Vanille drew her closer and deepened the kiss.

Lightning, on the other hand, was still sober, so at least she was still conscious of the fact that they were making out in the presence of other people. It broke her heart to do it, but she pulled away, breaking their sweet kiss. She stared into Vanille's hazy green eyes for a second before turning back to the table.

But, yeah, Vanille was _actually _drunk. She scooted closer to the woman and sat on her lap, side-straddle. Wrapping her arms around Lightning, she hid her head at the crook of her neck. "Onee-san…"

"Oh boy." Maqui's palm met his forehead abruptly. "Déjà vu man, déjà vu."

"Why does it seem like you're not enjoying this?" Gadot slapped the blonde's back, "Now we can ask little miss a bunch of questions—" He suddenly felt a pair of blue eyes piercing into his soul. "—T-that is… if Light lets us… ask…"

"Mmm… onee-san… where are you…!" Vanille's voice blasted to maximum volume without warning.

Lightning cuddled her in her arms. "Shh…" She whispered into her ear.

"I'm amazed that you let her drink, nee-san. Knowing how protective you are—"

She shot her icy-blue eyes at Snow, who immediately shut up. "I let her drink," The soldier explained, "Only because I'm here to watch over her." Holding the girl closer, Lightning spun the bottle.

"Well, what do you know?" He didn't know where he found the courage, "It's back to Vanille!" But Snow, for some reason, found it necessary to speak up something that would get Lightning pissed off for sure.

The woman decided that she would _so _throw something at him if Vanille wasn't in her arms. For now, she ignored him and lightly shook the redhead. "Hey, Vanille."

"A-another… drink…?"

The group chortled. Lightning smiled and spoke in her ear, "No, but the bottle landed on you."

"Dare!" She said instantly.

The soldier tried not to laugh out loud. "Are you sure? I wanted to ask if you want to sit this one out, since you're pretty much done…"

"I can still drink…" Vanille moaned. "Dare… onee-san, I dare you to kiss me again…"

"Aww!" Serah clasped her hands together – this was more entertaining to watch than any of the dramas on TV, and everyone in this room would agree to that.

Lightning shook her head. "Vanille… you got it mixed up. _I'm _daring _you_…" Even in games, she stayed strict to the rules – she was a soldier, after all.

"Oh… okay…"

But _because _she was a soldier, and a cunning one, on top of that, she decided to take advantage of this. It wasn't often she'd see the girl like this, after all. "Vanille, I dare you to answer the 'truth' that Serah proposed earlier."

"Ohhhh Snap!" Gadot slammed on the table. "Smart move, Light! Smart move!"

Amazed that she was able to flip the game around like this, Serah shook her head at her sister. "Onee-chan, you're incredible."

Snow, Lebreau, and the rest of the boys nodded to the younger Farron's words.

Contrary to her usual reactions, Lightning was pleased with everyone's comments. "What is it that I do, Vanille, that turns you on?" She repeated the question, as she was very sure that the girl was far too drunk to remember.

"Turn… on…" Vanille mumbled. "I… like it when you hug me…"

"Is that all?"

She shook her head. "No, no… there's way more…" The girl opened her eyes to look up at her soldier. When Lightning smiled in response, so did she. Vanille didn't really know what was going on, but she knew at least that she was asked a question, so naturally, she had to answer. "I feel weird w-when you wink at me… a-and when you cry, I—"

"Right, that's enough." Lightning stopped her. She didn't think ahead on this one – that things would go personal.

"No, Vanille, don't listen to her, keep going!" Snow encouraged. He was able to avoid that deadly glare from his to-be sister-in-law, as he was paying far too much attention on the redhead.

"When onee-san cries, I… I realize how vulnerable she is, a-and… and how alike we are… how lucky I am to have h-her… I…" Her droopy eyes closed again. "I don't want… anyone to h-hurt her…"

Lightning felt – _butterflies in her stomach? _– dizzy. Maybe she was blushing again. Whatever the case, she knew that this was happiness inside her. She didn't want to let go of the beautiful girl in her grasp – actually, she didn't even want to look away. The woman could even care less that she was surrounded by her friends and sister, because all that mattered right now was Vanille. With the back of her hand, she gently brushed aside the hair that covered the girl's closed eyes, smiling at the same time. "You're not even answering the question anymore."

The soldier's words obviously didn't reach her. Vanille went on muttering, "Mm… d-don't hurt her…"

She chuckled. _Silly girl, _"You're so done…" _Stop speaking out my thoughts. _

* * *

_**Happy New Year everyone!**  
_

_**Sorry this was so long. It was supposed to be longer until I realized that I've exceeded 40 pages… hehe. I don't think any of the future chapters would ever be this long. **_

_**Anyway, I've planned earlier on to upload this before FF13-2 came out in Japan (Dec 15), but, no, I couldn't. So, distracted by 13-2 (OMFG THIS GAME), winter break, parties, and snowboarding, I ended up writing a majority of this chapter in a hangover-state. I'll come back to edit this later on, but right now… **_

_**zzz **_**（ー****ー；****）**

_**Please don't forget to review! **_


	19. Truly Ephemeral

Chapter 19 – Truly Ephemeral 

(I can't lose you.)

_Her breath was robbed away when she saw Lightning, lying unconscious in the kitchen._ _But when the woman opened her eyes to meet hers, she felt happiness rush through her – she could cry. "Onee-san, you're really sick…"_

(You're all I have left.)

"_No… I'm fine…"_

_Vanille bit at her lip. "Fine? You passed out in the kitchen! How is that fine?" She placed her palm on Lightning's forehead. "You were okay this morning, why are you suddenly…?"_

"_I…" The woman sat up clumsily._

_She helped her up. "Onee-san, we need to get you to your room—"_

"… _I was running all over town," Lightning explained with a weak voice, "… looking for you…"_

_Vanille blinked. _(What?) _"Looking for me…? Why?"_

_There was uneasiness in her look. "Because…" Lightning was hesitating. _

(Don't lie to me.) _"Onee-san?"_

"…"

(Please don't lie to me.)

"… _Because I missed you." Lightning smiled._

_Vanille forgot how to breathe._

(You're lying.)

…

_She couldn't breathe. Vanille couldn't breathe. Lightning was shaking in her arms, crying, and this had never happened before. The stoic, cold, strong soldier was never like this. _

"_You're here…" Lightning whimpered, her voice barely audible through the showers._

"_Of course I am…" Vanille said. "Onee-san, y-you're going to get more sick at this rate—"_

"_I had a dream."_

(You're hiding something from me.) _"Dream…?"_

"_You…"_

_There was a long, unnatural pause. It almost seemed like Lightning was trying to think of what to say, to cover up whatever she had to hide – if she were hiding something. "You… you went out… and never came back."_

_Vanille felt her heart stop._

…

"_Don't ask, just run with me."_

"_Wha… what?" _

_When Lightning grabbed her hand, the moment they made contact, Vanille saw her life flash across her eyes. Lightning gave off the feeling that they were running for their lives – but what was there to run from? She kept on wondering as they ran through the trees. _

"_O-onee-san, y-you're not supposed to be moving so fast…!"_

(Stop hiding things from me.)

"_Onee-san! Are you listening?"_

_They finally stopped near a large tree. Lightning pushed her against it, pinning her body with her own, preventing any movement from her. _

"_What… what are you doing…?"_

_Again with the hesitation. Lightning was horrible at this. "Someone's—"_

(What?)

"_Nothing," The woman suddenly answered, "I just… wanted to find somewhere private so I could kiss you."_

(Liar.) _"Onee… san…" And then Lightning's lips meddled into hers. It was sensational – absolutely sensational. There was never a time that Vanille would get bored of this. Just the touch of those soft lips could take her away from any pain and bring her momentarily to a place of bliss, and then she would realize that she was getting increasingly addicted to her—_

"_Stay here, and don't move. I'll be right back."_

_That was it. She ran off. _

_Vanille pressed two fingers against her pulsing lips. Her tongue darted out to taste the woman reflexively as her heart pounded against her chest in violent thuds. What was this empty, uneasy feeling…? Vanille didn't know – it was like… she felt scared – scared that Lightning would be gone forever. Composing herself, she ran off into the same direction where the soldier had gone; the girl decided that she couldn't let Lightning out of her sight._

_Mumbling voices were heard in these dense trees, and it wasn't the voices of animals. Vanille made her way towards the sound, and sure enough, she saw Lightning, pointing her gun out at something._

"_O-onee-san?"_

_Lightning turned to her voice, her face taken over with distress. _

"_Vanille!"_

_She turned to the deep voice. "S-Sazh…!" Naturally, happiness and fear – more so the latter – filled her._

…

"_I'll go line up to order, okay? You two can talk amongst yourselves!" Vanille said as cheerfully as she possibly could to Lightning and Sazh as she walked away._

…

_She knew what was going to happen. Vanille knew that Lightning was going to find out about her past. Sooner or later, she was going to explain everything to the woman anyway, so Sazh's appearance was really just a boost. So, she decided to leave the two alone. Because she was too scared, too ashamed to tell Lightning all the disgusting, unsightly things that she had done, she decided to let Sazh do all the dirty work. _

_Well, she didn't exactly do anything wrong – she was only trying to save her friends after all, but it was just so shameful._

…

… _So shameful._

(Oh, look, now. Not only was she a coward, a liar, a murderer, and a slut – she was also a user.)

…

_In line and not moving, Vanille turned to observe the two. They were having a conversation, alright, and it was definitely one that was serious._

_Sigh._

_Onee-san was going to know everything. Her onee-san was going to know even more about her past – all the disgusting things she had done with those men. And even though Vanille knew that her onee-san wouldn't mind it one bit, she was scared. _

_Funny, because she wasn't as scared __about the fact that__ her onee-san __will know__ more about her hidden past. She was more so scared of Sazh's sudden appearance; she was scared that __**they **__were here as well. She was scared that they would take everything she had left away from her. _

_Everything she had left. _

(Lightning.)

"_Vanille,"_

_The girl in question gasped to the sudden whisper in her ear. Quickly composing herself, she turned to her voice. "Hm? Onee-san? What are you…" Vanille glanced at the table the woman was at. "Where's Sazh?" He was gone – no surprise._

"_He got a call and had to leave immediately. Seemed urgent."_

_Vanille's jaw flexed. She tilted her head purposely to look confused. "What… but I didn't even…" She did not know what she was going to say next._

_Then, in a flash, Lightning took her by the hand. "He said he'll look for you again. Let's go home now."_

(No…)_ "H-home…? But I'm next in line, and… and what about the doctor's?"_

"_We need to pack. I just remembered that I booked train tickets for tomorrow morning."_

(Predictable. All too predictable.)_ Next, Vanille feigned a look of surprise. "T-tomorrow morning! Onee-san, since when…!"_

"_I did everything last night when you were asleep."_

(I know.)_ "Why!"_

"_I'm really looking forward to it."_

(Liar.)_ "Y-you… ugh! What about work?"_

"_I called in as well. My lieutenant is more than happy to let me go on vacation."_

(Lightning, you are a terrible liar.) _"This is happening too quickly, I don't know what to say…!"_

_The woman chuckled. It brought an unnatural shiver down Vanille's spine. "Then don't say anything. Let's just go home and pack, okay?"_

(You are terrible—) _"Onee-san, were you always such a last minute person?" _(—for trying to protect someone like me.) _"You always plan ahead and organize everything you do! How can you mess up this time? Has the fever fried up most of your brain cells?" _

"_Vanille, if my brain cells were fried up, I wouldn't be acting so quickly and cautiously right now."_

_Vanille knew what Lightning meant, not that the woman would know that she understood her literal reasoning. She didn't want to tell her that she knew, however. Vanille was a coward, after all. She could only hide and act stupid._

Yes, _act _stupid.

* * *

… But Vanille wasn't stupid at all.

_No more acting._

She opened her eyes from her dream. "Onee-san,"

Lightning blinked. Her blue orbs darted down at the girl who, she assumed, was sleeping.

Vanille met her gaze and smiled. She snuggled closer, turning her head so that she was buried in the woman's neck. "I love you."

She cocked a brow upward. Did she have a nightmare? Or was the alcohol still kicking in her bloodstream? But even if she were dreaming or drunk, this was a bit too strange for her taste. "Is something wrong?"

Vanille moved closer.

Her back against the headboard of the bed, Lightning adjusted slightly until she found a comfortable position. She tucked Vanille closer in her arms.

"I'm sorry, but I want to be selfish."

She stiffened and was about to ask, but Vanille stopped her by draping her arm over her flat stomach. "Vanille…?"

The girl in question moved closer into the woman's neck, breathing against the sensitive skin there and making the latter sigh with pleasure.

"W-wait… stop…"

Pleasure.

Just once. Vanille just wanted to feel it once. Wanting something just once wasn't greedy, was it?

"Hey…" Lightning held onto her shoulders, attempting to push her off. But Vanille simply mumbled her name again and again in her neck, sending more electrifying shivers down her spine. "V-Vanille…"

"I need you…" She whispered, trailing her kisses up to Lightning's neck, jaw, cheeks, and finally, lips. "… Let me be selfish this one time."

She nearly lost her mind when her eyes clashed with Vanille's. Those emerald crystals were glistening with need, with desire. The girl was _dying _for this, that much was confirmed. Lightning swallowed the lump down her dry throat. "The others, they're right outside. What if they interrupt us again?"

Vanille set herself on top of the woman, straddling her hips with either leg on the latter's sides. She gripped onto the collar of Lightning's shirt and leaned in, breathing just loud enough for both herself and the strawberry-blonde to hear. "I can't wait anymore." She pushed a few strands of pink locks away from Lightning's face and eyeing the woman's parted lips with half-lidded eyes at the same time. Vanille moved closer until their lips merely touched, "Please," She suckled Lightning's lower lip, just enough to make the woman crave for more, "… just for a bit."

Her heart, her mind, and her fucking limbs were screaming at her to say yes. Lightning shut her eyes tightly to contain herself. And it wasn't helping that Vanille was kissing her so sluggishly that it turned her on. She grew tense, and using all her will, Lightning forced herself to grip onto the sheets below so that she wouldn't be ripping at Vanille's clothes.

"… I can be quiet."

The soldier nearly growled. "Fuck…" She was enveloped by Vanille's sweet scent; it was getting her so damn _hot –_ "… _No._" Lightning grunted. "I don't want you to be quiet. I want you to scream."

Vanille moaned to her aggressiveness. Rolling her hips forward, she realized that there was no turning back anymore.

Eyes still screwed shut, Lightning exhaled deeply. She was losing it, and she was losing it _fast. _"I don't want any of that slow and gentle bullshit. If we're doing it, I want to tear at you." She forced out her words through clenched teeth.

"Then tear at me," Vanille whispered. She drew back and, meeting Lightning's sharp eyes for a brief second, smiled and pulled her pink tank top off, throwing it behind herself. Vanille then reached behind to unclasp her bra.

Lightning's mind had gone completely blank as she witnessed the girl's bold actions. No hesitation, no restraint – just plain _drive._ Her eyes could not move away from the dangling fabric of Vanille's bra, as she so desperately wanted to see more. And when Vanille was down on all fours, crawling to her innocently yet so seductively at the same time, Lightning's heart stopped. "Are you sure you don't want to wait until we're alone?"

Shaking her head, "I can't," Vanille answered quickly. Her loosened bra's straps hung off her shoulders as she came closer to the woman, "I really can't."

And then Lightning's lips melted in hers.

* * *

"… Hm?" Serah raised her head up.

Lebreau looked over to the younger Farron, who seemed to be occupied by something in the air. "Serah, is something wrong?"

Through the loud, horrible 'singing' of the guys on the karaoke, Serah tried to listen. "I think… I hear onee-chan—" She paused abruptly, "—oh." Following a frown, "Never mind. It's nothing." Serah rolled her eyes and waved her hand in a nonchalant manner at the barmaid, signalling her not to think too much about it.

But she knew exactly what was going on. Smirking, Lebreau turned to the boys who were literally screaming nonsense into the microphones. They had the impossible ability of transforming some of her favorite songs into her most hated ones. Sighing, she spoke up, "I just find it kind of odd that Light would have a karaoke machine at home. I didn't expect her to sing and all."

Serah laughed. "Actually, the karaoke is mine. I made onee-chan buy it for me so that I can waste time and blast music whenever she's… um…" She paused and cleared her throat, "… yeah."

"Ah," The barmaid comprehended quickly. She glanced behind herself, into the hallway that led to the bedrooms and smirked again. "I see."

* * *

_Oh god oh god oh god—_

Vanille had to bite – _hard – _onto her own lips to suppress the sounds that were coming out endlessly from her. Lightning really was quite… er, well, incredible, amazing, fantastic, and ravenous, all at the same time when it came to everything, but right now, Vanille was referring to _this. _

"A-ah…!" A gasp finally escaped her. Vanille threw her head back, body arching into the cold glass window as Lightning's hands went on performing their wondrous magic on her. The girl's own hands gripped at the glass, only to have them slide down helplessly as there really was nothing she could hold onto. She was just glad that these windows weren't see-through from the outside. "O-onee-san, oh… _unn…_!"

"Didn't you say…" Lightning breathed into her ear, "… that you can be quiet?"

Yes, she can usually be quiet. But the thought never came across her – that she was doing it with someone she was deeply, _madly_ in love with, and not with people she didn't know. She did not know that she wouldn't be able to stop herself from crying or _moaning _to every action Lightning was doing to her. And above all else, Vanille did not know that this soldier was so _fucking good. _So, here she was, pinned against the ceiling-to-floor glass window, panting and moaning nonsense sensually, getting _torn up _by Lightning from behind, and there was nothing she could do about it.

The woman bit at the junction where her neck and shoulder met, making Vanille squeal loudly. She was positive that these marks were going to be here for a while.

Limp and out of strength, Vanille's arms gave up their helpless grip on the glass. "Onee-san… my legs… I-I'm so sore…"

Even without the warning, Lightning would have caught the falling girl with ease. "I got you." She turned her around so that they were facing each other. At the same time, the soldier took the liberty to observe the girl in front of her; she just could not stop smiling at the sight of Vanille's adorable figure. The deep red flush across her cheeks, the heaving of her chest, the heavy panting, the red marks on her glistening skin… _god_, all of Vanille was amazing.

The silence in the room was broken by Vanille's weak sigh. She moved in to circle her slender arms around her soldier's neck.

Lightning returned the embrace, breathing out in return. "Did you like it?"

She smiled. "Mmm…"

Proud, Lightning smirked and asked on, "How do you feel?"

Vanille pulled back to kiss the woman. She really only had one answer, "In love," Vanille smiled, "… with you."

Chuckling, Lightning swept Vanille up in her arms gently and headed to the bed. She laid the girl down, and then moved to rest beside her – their gazes never breaking.

"I…" Vanille searched for Lightning's hand before she continued. "… I never thought that it would feel so good." She felt herself blushing deeper to her own words. "Because, before… when I… well, t-they…"

Lightning's fingers entwined with Vanille's. She snuggled closer to cup her soft cheek.

Vanille swallowed. "I-it usually hurts."

She need not think twice. Lightning pulled the girl towards herself, embracing her small form with everything she had. Her palm cupped the back of Vanille's head, burying her face in her shoulder as she hid in the girl's neck. "No one's going to hurt you anymore." Lightning whispered.

Hearing that, the girl felt her heart collapse. She returned the woman's tender embrace. "And I… I don't want anyone to hurt you either."

"_I don't want… anyone to h-hurt her…"_

Recalling the words from the drunk-Vanille earlier, Lightning couldn't help but to choke out a laugh. "Yeah, I know."

Vanille bit at her lower lip. She thought that she was prepared for this, but this heavy, uneasy, _terrible_ feeling just… "Onee-san, go to sleep."

"Hmm?" Lightning moaned into her shoulder tiredly. "What about the others? And what about packing?"

"Please, just sleep. I've never seen you so tired before." It was then she realized; the fatigue of organizing for this trip must have finally gotten to her. That, and she wasn't exactly healed from her fever. If anything, Vanille shouldn't have let Lightning drink so much earlier. "I'll deal with our guests as well." She easily wriggled out of the tired soldier's grasp. It didn't occur to her that her legs were still sore from… yeah_, that, _until she stood up. Finding her balance was the hardest part, but Vanille managed. Fixing her bra, she searched for the rest of her clothes in the dim room – which reminded her, the sky had long turned red, meaning that it was now well into the evening.

Lightning watched the girl through half-lidded eyes. More precisely, she was looking at her figure – the light outside made it seem as though she was radiating in a warm, red sunlight. The dips, the curves, the contours of her angelic body… Lightning wondered to herself what she had ever done to deserve such beauty.

Just about finished with putting on her tank top, Vanille turned to Lightning – only to have herself taken aback slightly from the soldier's odd and silent stare. "… Onee-san? Is there something on me…?"

A pause, and then Lightning smirked. "Yeah, come here. Let me get it off for you."

She complied easily. Kneeling to the side of the bed, she came close to the soldier. "Where is it?"

Lightning snaked a hand to the back of Vanille's head. She pulled the girl down, making her lose her balance, but stopped just before their lips met, "Right about… here." She grinned slightly and captured her with a hungry yet controlled kiss.

Vanille's eyes widened to the sudden contact, but they quickly closed again. She didn't mind her abruptness. Really, how could she ever get mad at Lightning being so random and cute and… and loving? Nobody could do that. Gradually, she found herself adapting to the soldier's gentle strength. When Lightning's tongue begged for entrance, she parted her lips immediately to grant it to her. Small gasps and moans escaped their parted lips occasionally, but they would quickly get covered up by deeper, harder kisses. From an outsider's point of view, it would look as though Lightning was eating Vanille, though the one being eaten seemed like she was enjoying it.

Just as quickly as it happened, Lightning released the girl. She watched Vanille pant and blush, all at the same time, with an equal amount of enjoyment and chuckled. "Vanille,"

"Y-yes?"

Lightning moved in until their foreheads touched. "Stay here until I fall asleep?"

She was surprised by her request, but quickly nodded in response.

It ended with a smile. The strawberry-blonde fell back onto the bed, her eyelids slowly closing shut.

A couple long moments passed by; she really did wait until Lightning was asleep, and then she brushed at her softy pink locks gently. Her fingers traced the soldier's amazing bone structure – from her cheek bones to her jaw, all the way back to those soft lips. Vanille smiled to her innocent sleeping face.

"Onee-san…"

Slow, steady breathing.

Vanille exhaled lightly. She leaned in and pecked her soldier on the lips. At the same time, the tears she had been fighting back for so long finally ran down her cheeks. "Thank you," She whispered, "For letting someone like me fall in love with you."

* * *

Coming out of the room, all Vanille could hear were the boys… well, she couldn't exactly call it _singing_, as it sounded more like animals wailing in pain. She made her way to the living room, and sure enough, the boys were behaving as if they were in some wild jungle, fighting over for the last piece of flesh they can find – which was the microphone. She made her way towards the sofa, where Serah and Lebreau were sitting. It seemed as though they were simply watching and enjoying the boys' commotion.

"Hey… Serah?" Vanille called, just loudly enough for the younger girl to hear through all the background noises.

She turned to the redhead, and seeing her clothes and hair, which were _so _obviously fixed clumsily from _whatever _happened, she couldn't help but to grin. "Good evening, Vanille. I take it that you've finally sobered up?"

The redhead gave her a slight smile and nodded. "Y-yeah… I'm sorry about earlier. Like, about me, passing out."

"Oh, don't apologize!" Lebreau turned around as well to cut into their conversation. "We got to see the cutest confession ever, and if you didn't get wasted, you wouldn't have had such a fun time with Light just now, ne?"

Right away, Vanille jerked her head down to her feet, too embarrassed to look at anyone.

Serah chortled, though she knew that it was wrong to laugh when Vanille was so helpless. "Um, well, uh… what's onee-chan doing?" She questioned, trying to cover up her laughter.

"S-she's sleeping…" Vanille nearly squeaked.

"Oh," The raven-haired barmaid said. "Then why aren't you sleeping with her?"

"I…!" Her blush deepened into a near crimson colour, "I… just remember that I have to go down and buy something…"

Hearing that, Serah stood up. "In that case, I'll come along with you." She offered, smiling.

"Oh, no, it's fine!" Vanille said quickly.

The younger strawberry-blonde blinked.

She wasted no time and headed for the door. "I'll be quick, really." Vanille said as she slipped on her sandals. But before she could reach for the doorknob, the younger girl grabbed onto her wrist, stopping her. Startled slightly, Vanille spun around.

"Vanille…" Serah's grip on her wrist loosened, but her other hand reached up as well to hold onto her. "… is everything okay?"

There was genuine concern in the younger Farron's cerulean eyes. This girl was almost as sharp as her sister – if not sharper. Vanille acted fast – "Yeah, of course!" She said enthusiastically as she usually would.

She raised a brow. "Are… you sure?"

Vanille's smile softened. She moved to hold onto Serah's hands, "I'm sure," Gently, she pushed the girl's hands off herself. "Thank you, Serah." And then she headed out of the door.

* * *

In truth, she really had no idea what she was going to do. At first, she thought about reporting herself to the Guardian Corps headquarters, admitting out loud to whoever was there that she was a Pulsian, an alien, and that the _fugitive_ the PSICOM had been looking for all this time was her. That was the easy option.

The other one, which she was unintentionally leaning more towards right now, was to wander around and wait for someone to just kidnap her so that she didn't have to do so much work. If Sazh, a simple, low-ranking corporal was in this town, then there had to be others as well, right? The man can't possibly be here for a vacation alone – it just wouldn't make sense if he really were, because if anything, he'd bring his son as well. Still, the downside to this option, however, was that she was not prepared for all these questions that were surfacing in her troubled mind. Questions like whether or not she was doing the appropriate, the wise thing, or even questions like whether or not she was sane and conscious just kept on coming and coming and coming…

She heaved a sigh when she turned into a new, quieter street. Finally, she stepped out of the busy crowds that roamed the night market. It was like she entered a whole new, tranquil dimension – a dimension where she could feel at ease. Leaning against a cemented wall, she held onto a wrist nervously. Right now, she was feeling as lost as the first day she arrived here. That day, where she made her stupid, naïve little fairy tale wish, where she was chased by thugs, and where she met—

"Onee-san…" Vanille called out naturally. _What the hell was this? _There was never once in her life when she felt so much hatred toward herself. All these conflicting and confusing feelings – she thought she convinced herself that she could do it. She was, after all, doing this to protect the one person she had left in this world. Vanille was doing this because there was no other way.

"What are you doing out here?"

A familiar, _saddened _voice reached her ears. It nearly broke her heart. Vanille flung her head towards the direction of the sound, and saw the one person she did not wish to see. Immediately, she could see herself shatter into a million pieces. _Serah must have—_

Head down, Lightning approached her. "Are you running away from me again?" She asked weakly.

Her first reaction was to think of an excuse. "I-I'm not running from you. I just wanted to buy something, so I came down—"

"Liar." She reached for the shorter girl's hand. Looking up, she revealed her clear blue eyes. "You're running away from me."

All her worries, her confusion, and her sadness could be read in those orbs. It was unavoidable; Vanille just could not stop these contagious emotions that were spreading to each nerve in her body. "No… onee-san, I…" At that point, Vanille could only look down at her feet to avoid Lightning's sharp eyes. "I just… I…"

"Vanille…" Lightning called gently. She stepped closer. "What's wrong?"

The girl stepped back against the wall. She gritted her teeth in her mouth, swallowing up the need to cry. Now was definitely _not _the time to be showing tears. So, in turn, Vanille shook her head. Hiding was no longer an option, and neither was lying. "Onee-san, I-I know."

"…?"

She took a deep breath. "I know they're here. I know they're after me."

Her azure eyes widened with fear. "What…"

"And I know that you're trying to protect me."

"Vanille—"

"Stop, let me finish." She interrupted, "You've been acting so weird lately. So overprotective, so worried, so… _everything._ And then there's also Sazh, who appeared all of a sudden."

Lightning mentally kicked herself in the head. And she thought she had everything planned out…

"Onee-san," Vanille went on, "The quarantine in Palumpolum, do you really think it's because of some _disease_?"

"…"

"It's because of me," She explained calmly. "It's because I was there, I was spotted there. The PSICOM would go as far as locking down an entire town to capture me."

Lightning gritted her teeth. "That's why we'll get out of here. We'll run away, and you'll—"

"And then what? They'll quarantine Bodhum, and you'll never be able to come back here. Like the innocent people from Palumpolum – _children _like Hope can't reunite with their family, and it's all because of me." She paused to catch her breath. "And what about Serah? What about Maqui and them? We can run, but they'll be stuck here." She shook her head with disappointment. "You'll… never get to see them again, and this is not going to end until they find me…"

"No one's going to find you!" Lightning burst out. "They're not going to get to you."

Frustrated, she attempted to shake off the woman's hand, though she was failing miserably at it. "Onee-san, I'm just _one _person! This is an entire town we're talking about…! I don't want so many people to suffer because of me. Onee-san, I don't want it to happen again…!"

The woman was stunned slightly. _Again. Right. Vanille still believes that she left her friends… that she gave up saving them…_

Vanille clenched her fists. She continued to struggle and fight to get the soldier's hands off herself. "Please – let go…"

She gripped onto the girl's hand firmly and spoke up with a quiet voice, "Then… what about me…?"

The girl froze.

"Vanille…" Lightning said softly. Her voice was cracking, "What about me?"

"…"

"Have you ever thought about that?" She moved in, circling her arms around Vanille. "I need you."

Vanille couldn't stop this shaking of her body. "Onee-san…"

"You promised that you weren't going to run away," Lightning whispered into her ear. "You promised not to leave me."

_Yes, I did. _The shaking became more violent. She had to shut her eyes, but – _god – _how she wished she could shut her ears as well. "I-I don't want anyone to hurt you…" Vanille whimpered.

"Nothing would hurt me more than having you leave me."

The tears began to build up in her eyes.

"I'm just as in love with you as you are with me." The embrace became firmer; Lightning hid in the redhead's shoulder as she mumbled her confession. "Vanille, I love you."

And she couldn't hold any longer – the tears ran down her cheeks freely. Her arms moved on their own accord – both sliding up to grip onto the back of Lightning's cardigan. "Y-you're being unfair…" Vanille sobbed. "… T-this is… the last thing I-I want to hear from you right now…"

Lightning ignored her, and held her tighter. "I love you."

Her sob grew louder. "P-please… please stop it…" Yes, she wanted her to stop, but she didn't want Lightning to let go. In fact, she wanted to be trapped in her embrace like this – for as long as time would allow her to be.

"… _reported that the convict went that way—" _Came a voice not so far away.

In an instant, the two pulled back to look at each other with shock. Perhaps they were being paranoid, perhaps even a bit too self-conscious – it was just a voice, and it didn't say anything about a 'girl'. Who would know whether he was a soldier or not? Still, Lightning reacted quickly; she did not want to risk this. Sazh _did_ say that he wasn't the only PSICOM here; there were others, blended in with the citizens.

She took Vanille by the hand and moved farther away from where the voice came from. Turning at a corner, she ended up walking into a dark alley, and as she moved deeper, she prayed that there would be a way that could lead to the bigger streets again. Unfortunately, every path she took led to a dead end, and looking at everything around them, there was nothing she could use to hide Vanille entirely.

"… _seems—this way—"_

"Damn it…" Lightning cursed. The voice was getting closer, and there was nowhere to run. She pushed Vanille against the wall, pressing into her body to shield her form whatever that was coming and peeked out. Sure enough, just as much as she wanted luck to be on her side (which it wasn't), someone was coming. The dimness of the evening light made it hard to see, but Lightning could at least tell that the person was a man, wearing some sort of armour, holding a gun, and he was approaching fast. She had no time to think – Lightning could only find one alternative. "Vanille," She breathed.

The girl looked to her.

Lightning took off her cardigan in a matter of a second. She threw it around the smaller girl, wrapping it over her upper body and pulling the hood up to her head.

"Onee-san…?"

"I'm sorry," Lightning hissed. "But I need you to go along with this…"

"O-onee-san… what are you—aah…!"

She got her hands behind Vanille's thighs and lifted her, the girl's legs wrapping around her. Using the wall as leverage, Lightning released her legs and moved her hands just below Vanille's breasts.

"Oh…!" She threw her head back. The sensation was _great – _Vanille couldn't channel it away. Her hands found their way to Lightning's shoulders, and as another wave of the said sensation washed over her, Vanille's nails dug into the woman's skin. It was a shame, but this certainly would leave tiny, half-moon scars on her beautiful skin. Vanille shuddered to the thought of how hot it would look.

At the corner of her eyes, she could see an approaching shadow. Lightning prayed to every sacred deity in this universe that the person was just a Bodhum Guardian Corps soldier, doing regular patrol, and not a PSICOM hunting for Vanille. Even so, she had to make this believable. "Louder." Lightning whispered as she rolled her hips forward.

She didn't need to ask. Vanille bucked her hips at the woman. There was really no need for her to _intentionally _be any louder, because her vocal chords were behaving quite naturally – all thanks to Lightning.

She could see – he was here. The shadow was right here. Lightning remembered not to panic; she had to play it cool. Hands still fondling with Vanille's softness, she dived into her neck, kissing gently at first, but for the sake of realism, she suddenly bit hard at the girl's collarbone.

She arched her back into the woman and gasped. "Unn…!"

"Hey! Who's there!" The shadow pointed his gun up at the two.

Lightning jerked her head towards the man.

He gasped – with fear, most likely. Those dangerous blue eyes _glowed—_"S-sergeant Farron!"

_Oh, thank the gods – _but she couldn't stop imposed her deadly glare on him. "Fuck off." She finished the act by crashing her lips onto Vanille and sliding her hands higher, squeezing her breasts roughly. She made sure that the lower-ranking soldier could see that she was very, _extremely _busy.

The erotic sounds that were coming out of the girl tinted a flush across the young Bodhum soldier. "Y-yes ma'am!" He saluted her and stumbled away, almost as if his life depended on it.

When his footsteps became inaudible, Lightning immediately let Vanille down onto the ground. Holding her in place, "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…" She apologized frantically. To do this without her consent… Lightning practically felt sick. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you anywhere?" She observed Vanille carefully while fixing her shirt.

"I… I'm fine…" The girl stammered. "But… just… how did you know that it would work…?"

Hesitating at first, Lightning knew that this wasn't the time to think of lies. "This… isn't exactly the first time I've been caught doing it in places like this…"

Vanille froze, clearly hurt by her confession.

And Lightning caught up with her shocked expression right away. "But not anymore. I mean… I haven't done this in a while, and I'm never going to again—"

"No, onee-san, it's okay." Vanille interrupted. "It's the past, I don't mind it."

Lightning was ashamed, even more so after hearing the girl's words. "I'm sorry."

She shook her head. Her hands reached up to frame Lightning's face. "Please, stop apologizing."

Nodding once, Lightning showed comprehension. If Vanille wanted her to stop apologizing, then she would stop apologizing –no argument was needed. "Vanille,"

"Yes?"

But Lightning had to one question straight, no matter what. She glanced down the alley way, making sure that they were the only ones present. "I don't understand." Lightning's thin brows furrowed as she looked back at the girl, "Why is the PSICOM so desperate to find you?"

Vanille literally stopped breathing. Her eyes moved left and right, as if she were searching for an answer in the heavy summer air. "I… I have no idea…" Truth be told, all this time, she was so busy worrying about the things going on around her, she never even considered this question.

She watched as Vanille's face twisted in confusion. Lightning herself was processing through the possibilities, and was getting equally confused. If they wanted entertainment, they could always visit a brothel – _those bastards. _If they did not want Vanille to spread word about their atrocities, they could always be more subtle about it – what was the point of isolating two important cities? Had the higher-ups gone mad? Or— "Vanille… y-you wouldn't happen to be a…" She swallowed, "… a _princess _or some sort of royalty on Pulse, would you?"

"What – no!" Vanille said immediately. "I told you, I grew up at an orphanage. There's nothing royal about that."

Lightning tilted her head. "Then… why…?" _Why would they go so far to catch one girl?_

Seeing the uneasiness in the soldier's eyes, Vanille decided to speak up. "Onee-san…"

"No." She cut in right away. "You're not turning yourself in." Lightning said with determination, "I'm not letting you do that. We'll figure something out, okay?"

Vanille looked away.

"Here," She took the girl by the hand, "Let's get out of here first." To get back safely, they were going to have to take the crowded route.

* * *

"Onee-chan! It's onee-chan and Vanille!" Serah called happily, pointing at the couple approaching them.

Lightning slapped a palm over her eyes. "God, you guys look so incredibly stupid right now…" She muttered.

Indeed, the group was standing right outside her apartment. Inside the lobby, Lightning could see the old security man looking at them with concern. He was probably thinking that these were delinquents, waiting to ambush whoever they had a grudge against, who just so happened to live in this building.

"Well, we couldn't just stay in your house and do nothing! So we came down!" Snow said with a grin.

"Yeah," Yuj nodded, "We were planning to spread out and look for you two, but… it wasn't working out."

"So we're just here! Standing! And waiting!" Maqui finished.

Lebreau rolled her eyes, finally cutting in to end the boys' stupidity. "C'mon Light," She threw an arm over the strawberry-blonde's neck, literally dragging her back to the apartment. "No more yelling at us, alright? Vanille's back and you have nothing to worry about."

The wrinkles surrounding his lips deepened when Gadot grinned. He, too, leaned his elbow on Lightning's shoulder as he walked along. "Yeah, little miss!" He said to Vanille, who was following closely behind, "Light was _so _worried when you went out on your own! I thought I saw her tear up a bit!"

Snapping her eyes at him, Lightning slammed her heel onto his toes (he was wearing flip-flops), which sent him flying off, wailing in pain.

Everyone burst into laughter, and even Vanille loosened up to chuckle quietly.

"Egh, let's hurry up, guys." Maqui said through all the noise the crew was making. He folded his arms and shivered. "It's getting so cold for some reason."

"Even though it's still mid-August," Yuj added.

Serah sighed. "The weather forecast says that a storm is blowing this way. So it's probably going to rain in the next few days…"

"Rain, huh?" The younger Farron's boyfriend looked to the sky, "That's strange—"

_BANG_

The loud noise made everyone crouch down by reflex, but – _no –_ not for Lightning. She spun around in an instant.

"…" Vanille's face twisted with fear. Slowly, she looked to her shoulder.

Eyes widened with horror, Lightning's jaw hung loose; she forgot how to breathe. The sight of blood… the sight of blood streaming out of the girl's shoulder… "V-Vani—"

_BANG_

"Vanille!" It was Serah who cried out.

Another gunshot. This time, Vanille looked down to her stomach, where her pink tank top was dyeing red in rapid speeds—

"_Target neutralized. Permission to move in."_

"Snipers!" Snow looked up to the roofs of the apartment. He had Serah in his arms as he observed cautiously around them.

"W-what the hell…!" Maqui cried.

_What's going on…? _Vanille's mind asked. She couldn't take in anything right now; her world was darkening, her strength was leaving her, and she couldn't stand anymore—

Lightning moved in just in time to catch the girl. Without thinking, she pressed onto her more fatal wound. _Don't close your eyes don't close your eyes don't close your eyes _– she couldn't say it out loud. Lightning couldn't even catch her breath; she couldn't even stop herself from shaking, so speaking was out of the question.

But Vanille knew what the woman wanted. She tried to do as Lightning wished, but a strange fog was blurring her vision, making it difficult for her to comply. And what was this sound…? This… muffled, loud, and heavy sounds of propellers…? It was getting louder and louder. _God, _she could remember; back on Gran Pulse, she hated that sound so much. Whenever she could hear it, it meant that more of her friends would disappear, and they would never come back…

Lightning paid no attention to the aircrafts landing around her. She didn't even pay attention to the gravel that was flying at her face – she only paid attention at the redhead. And yes, it hurt. Seeing the sharp emerald colour she adored so much fade, the ache and fear in her body multiplied by tenfold. For once, Lightning's bright and cunning mind was blank; she was engulfed by fear. Here Vanille was, dying in her arms, and she had absolutely no idea what to do.

"Onee-chan!"

Serah's voice snapped Lightning's head up. It was then she noticed that she was surrounded by PSICOM soldiers, all pointing their guns at her. Her natural reaction was to hold Vanille closer to herself.

Another soldier clad in full PSICOM body armour, who seemed to be of higher rank of some sort, approached. "She's the one." His voice projected robotically through the helmet he wore, "Get her."

The men around Lightning nodded. One reached out to grab Vanille by the arm, and another attempted to separate Lightning from their mission.

"S-stop…" Her voice did not come out as strongly as she wanted it to, yet she managed to hold onto Vanille.

"Release her." A soldier said, shoving the tip of his gun at Lightning's temple.

Her eyes sharpened dangerously. She wasn't going to take orders from anyone. Lightning tried to stand, but when she did, those men only pulled harder at Vanille, and it was hurting the girl more.

Another soldier joined in to help separate the two, but Lightning showed no mercy. She tried to shake them off, but she knew that the more she struggled, the more it would hurt Vanille. A pang of guilt rush down her spine – _she actually was thinking of letting go—_

"Miss, I suggest you let go," said one of them.

Lightning didn't hear him – she didn't need to hear him. Looking down at Vanille, she could see the poor girl crying, panting, _dying_.

"Nee-san…"

Feeling a much gentler hand on her shoulder, she looked behind herself.

To describe this feeling right now, Snow would say that he was being stabbed in the gut by a combat knife. Lightning was crying. This was the first time for him to see the strong, mighty Lightning Farron shed tears. It was utterly painful to watch.

"A-aren't you a hero…? You always claim that you can protect everyone…" She choked weakly. "Protect her…" Lightning begged, "Please, help her…"

Snow stiffened. He wanted to, he _desperately _wanted to help. But all these soldiers had guns. He'd be dead in a matter of a millisecond by the time he could throw a punch at one of these elites.

Vanille was still alive, but if they didn't treat those wounds soon, then nothing could be done. Maybe, just _maybe _the PSICOM was going to treat her. If anything, it was much better than what was happening right now – where nothing was going anywhere. Yes, Serah betted on that. She had to. "Let go," She said, keeping her voice firm. Serah touched her sister's arm gently, "Onee-chan, you have to let go."

_No, what are you doing? Don't let go… don't let go… don't do it— _

Lightning gave one last look at her. Vanille was shivering; her skin was already dangerously pale and cold, and—

Feeling no more restraint, the soldier took Vanille away in his arms. Slowly, he made his way back to one of the aircrafts, the rest of the soldiers following wordlessly after him.

Lightning instinctively took a few steps forward; she had the intention to chase them, but was quickly blocked by Serah, who ran into her path.

She held onto her sister's shoulders. It was then she realized how much she was shaking. Then there were also those tears that ran endlessly down her cheeks—"Onee-chan…"

Her mouth hung open. "I-I…" Lightning's voice shook, almost as violently as her body. She looked back to the aircraft that Vanille was in – it was taking off. "… V-Vanille… she… she's…" Lightning looked at her palms, stained with Vanille's blood.

Serah wrapped her arms around her sister's neck. She pulled her down gently so that she could cry on her shoulder. Serah felt pathetic. There was nothing she could say to comfort Lightning; to tell her that Vanille was going to be 'fine' would be a lie, because she couldn't be sure herself. It would be even worse to say that everything was going to be 'okay' – because it was not. Nothing was going to be 'okay' for a long time.

When the sounds of the aircrafts faded, Lightning fell to her knees.

And Serah did so as well. She kept her arms firmly wrapped around her sister.

"… gone…" Lightning's voice muffled into her younger sister's shoulder. "… T-they took her… took her away f-from me…"

She couldn't contain her own sobs, much less her sister's. It was all so pitiful.

"… they took Vanille away from me…" Lightning repeated. "S-she's gone…"

* * *

_**I would write to you guys an apology letter for my absence, but that would take another 6 months. So, um…**_

**Σ(-`Д´-****ﾉ；****)****ﾉ**_**- **__**PLEASE DON'T HATE ME!**_

_**The only excuse I have is… well, this chapter was very, very, very, VERY, EXTREMELY hard to write. I reeeeally hope you understand why.**_

_**Please review for my INTENSE effort…? :3  
**_


	20. UPDATE

UPDATE:

Hello everyone.

First of all, MY DEEPEST APOLOGIES for not updating for… I don't know, a year? I didn't intend to make 'chapter 20' look like this, but I considering the amount of PM's and reviews I've been getting lately, I guess it's only fair to tell you guys what's going on.

I've stopped updating this story because FF13-2's ending was shit. Yep, that's it—the end was shit, that's why I've stopped updating. Oh, and that shitty Lightning DLC and the random floating Farroncest didn't really help.

You're all probably like 'wtf' and everything, but yeah—it was so shit (and I beat the game sometime around the end of 2011—so for me to have updated TWICE after that, you should call it somewhat of an accomplishment). But listen, I know it's unprofessional to rant and blame the shit ending, but HONESTLY, HOW CAN I WRITE SOMETHING GOOD IF I DON'T FEEL GOOD ABOUT THAT SOMETHING?! I'm very sure you guys wouldn't want to read a half-assed/inadequate/SHITTY story, right?

PLUS, you guys have to remember: I'm not getting paid for this at all—I'm simply writing because it's fun. SO DON'T EXPECT SO MUCH FROM ME :(

Does this mean I'm not going to update _starless _anymore?

I'm pretty sure I will, just not now. I can't see myself posting up something that I don't feel is good, and since all of you are saying that this is such a good story and everything, I'm honestly quite intimidated—like I HAVE to do my 100%, otherwise I'd lose my head or something. But yeah, I will update, just not anytime soon. And if I do update, it'll probably be after LR:FF13 comes out. Like, y'know, when Toriyama redeems himself.

(I'm talking about after November 21, 2013—since I live in Japan).

Until then, my buddies, go indulge yourselves with some other cute, non-existent, fanon couple. And, once again, I apologize for my absence… or, more like, disappearance.

- asakami

PS. Same reason goes for _empathy _btw.

PPS. Oh, and if I do update, I'll replace this 'chapter' with the new one. I don't know if you'll still get a notification if I just replace it, but… well, we'll see then.


End file.
